LGBT Autistics

A blog for everything LGBT and autistic. Read the links, check the FAQ, then shoot us an ask!

[lgbtautistics]

Since the TERFs found this blog, it's time for me to retire. I doubt any person here is willing to take on the unenviable task of digging through the dozens of asks calling me a fat girl, homophobe, and saying i'm disgusting for talking about genitalia, so this blog is going to be closed and eventually deleted. i created this blog when people weren't so hateful and horrible, but i was also very young. there are statements i made three years ago i do not stand by today. this was supposed to be a place for happiness and it turned into a forum for people to yell at each other and invalidate my identity as well as that of my partner. Goodbye & godspeed.

[lgbtautistics]

I'm confused about what your position on the genital preference stuff actually is, because "I have not, cannot and will not ever have sexual contact with a transgender man because I have genital repulsion." is directly contradictory to everything I thought you were saying earlier, which I agreed with, about it being transphobic to make those kinds of assumptions/generalizations about what genitals someone must have based on their trans status

My genital repulsion is unfortunately such that I also can’t tolerate having sex with someone who has had sex reassignment surgery. Sex is a very important component of a relationship to me and I do not think I could have a monogamous relationship with someone without any sort of sexual contact. Hope that clears things up.

[lgbtautistics]

Gay means exclusively same sex attracted. No real gay person would invalidate homosexuality as a genital preference. I don't want to date, hold hands, or cuddle with the opposite sex because I don't have romantic feelings for the opposite sex. Face it, you're homophobic.

Literally no one is asking you to have romantic contact with someone of the opposite sex. If being gay to you is being same-sex attracted, great! I am a same-sex attracted gay man. I have not, cannot and will not ever have sexual contact with a transgender man because I have genital repulsion. If I were speaking to this from a place of ignorance about these sorts of situations, perhaps you could come and accuse me of being homophobic. Neither you nor anyone else on this planet owes anyone intimate contact of any kind, especially not if it causes you emotional distress.

And for the record, I would never refer to a sexual orientation as a genital preference. I’m sorry I see being gay as something bigger than what I want to stick my dick in. You’re welcome to view it differently from me. I would never tell you how to properly express your sexuality. Asshole.

[lgbtautistics]

I am a pansexual autistic. This ask isn't about my situation specifically but rather something I am having difficulty understanding. Why is having a genital preference considered transphobic? If you can have physical preference for a certain gender, why not for genitals? What if someone couldn't maintain arousal/has sensory issues with certain genitals? Dating isn't just be about the physical side but for some a fulfilling sex life is important for a healthy relationship.

Okay, so, the thing is that having a genital preference in and of itself isn’t the problem. Having a genital preference can occur for many reasons and the personal choice to not have sexual contact with a particular set of genitalia, for whatever reason, is perfectly acceptable. 

The problem lies in subsequent generalizations. Refusing to date “men” because you hate dick is transphobic, and refusing to date “women” because you hate vaginas is also transphobic. There’s a big difference between “I don’t want to date trans men/women* because having sexual contact with their particular set of genitalia is not a comfortable experience” and “I don’t want to date trans men/women because they’re trans”. 

The big bottom line about people, though, is that you can’t make huge, overarching generalizations, especially not about what people may or may not have in their pants. So the problem isn’t the preference itself, but the generalizations that you can get caught up in.

Followers can also add on.

Knight

[sad-eyed-lady-of-the-low-lands]

like, I think the issue is when people say “I wouldn’t date a trans girl because I don’t like dick” or “I wouldn’t date a trans man because I don’t like vagina” when, you have no idea what’s in their pants, and by making sweeping statements like that you’re implying you do which is the issue. By all means say “I couldn’t date someone with a dick/vagina” don’t say “I couldn’t date a trans girl/boy.”

Explained in many less words than I did. LOL

Knight

[lgbtautistics]

This time on the right blog. :::T

[the-anchorless-moon]

Also like, genital repulsion only really comes into play when you’re having a certain type of sex with someone, so saying that you can’t date someone because they have x genitalia is essentially saying that you expect that anyone you date will want to have that type of sex with you. As an ace person that’s… icky. And like, if that’s a dealbreaker to you then fair enough, that relationship probably won’t work out then, but you’re not entitled to know about someone’s genitals before you decide whether or not to date them just because you might hypothetically do certain things with them at some unspecified point in the future.

[hello-homophobes]

the incelsectionals are at it again. why do asexuals weigh in on normal relationships like they know anything about the rest of us?

who knew in 2018 we’d come around to wondering if monosexuality was a useful term. bc these assholes really act like the catholic church expecting gay ppl to have celibate relationships with the opposite sex, or like corrective rapists that we just have to figure out how to take the opposite sex’s genitals.

gay men aren’t attracted to biological females. lesbians aren’t attracted to biological males. these aren’t generalizations. conversion therapy, compulsory heterosexuality, and casual social homophobia all operate under the impression that homosexuality can be fluid and all gay ppl can have exceptions to our orientation. even our own parents caution us against coming out in case something changes down the line. being attracted to the same sex isn’t a preference. it’s not a preference for straight ppl either but they’re not as vulnerable to this nasty rhetoric so it doesn’t matter. stop preying on gay ppl for validation. sexual orientation is based on biological sex so stop conflating “i’m gay so i won’t date you” with “i won’t date you so i don’t respect how you identify your gender”. you tried to say this but contradicted yourself with the rest of your post.

nobody needs to consider other ways of having sex with ppl they’re not attracted to. nobody’s sexual orientation is based on gender or pronouns. your identity doesn’t control other ppl’s lives. if you’re uncomfortable as a trans man dating lesbians or straight men, don’t. if you’re uncomfortable as a trans woman dating gay men or straight women, don’t. but don’t expect the rest of us to pretend to be bisexual to validate you, to engage in traumatic sex, to pity date you, or to act like your identities affect our innate orientation. 

[lgbtautistics]

Dear newcomer: kindly never reblog any of my posts again, do not make completely out there generalizations abt people’s orientations on my posts, and please look in and ask yourself why you actually think incelsectional is either funny or a legitimate term to call someone. thank you for your time.

- Knight

[lilith-apologist]

aren’t us autistics supposed to be like…logical and shit -_-

[lgbtautistics]

i don’t need people to like me, and certainly not for my opinions. i don’t hinge my self-worth on having the socially appropriate opinions or on fulfilling damaging stereotypes about people with my disability. the fact that you assumed this makes me think that you hinge your self-worth on being properly “socially inappropriate” and controversial. sorry, you aren’t special, and no amount of trolling on tumblr is going to make you worth any more time than it took me to type this post. good luck on your quest for validation. you’ll need it.

[littledinosaurarms]

I think part of the issue here is that people have different dating styles. Some people date with the intent to have sex early on in the relationship, while others want to wait until an emotional relationship has existed for weeks or months, or even years. Depending on what your style is, you are going to handle the sharing of sex preference (genitals, positions, etc) differently.

On the one hand, it isn’t reasonable to ask probing questions about genitals on a first date (hookups are not the same thing- that’s an encounter specifically for sex and you obviously need to know up front).

On the other hand, it isn’t right to date someone for years without telling them the truth about your physical body and what you are comfortable doing with it. This would encompass being trans, whether you have had or have any desire to have surgery- some trans people do not want any surgery, or only partial- and also if you are ace or have any acts that are dealbreakers for you (have to have or can’t have).

It’s a complicated situation because people are complicated. Any attempt to oversimplify is going to end up hurting people.

[lgbtautistics]

exactly right. it's always going to be more complicated than "REAL gays don't sleep w trans people" vs "all gay people must sleep with trans people even if it makes them uncomfortable."

[lgbtautistics]

Yikes I had no idea this blog was run by a homophobe :(

i am a gay man 🤡

[lgbtautistics]

I am a pansexual autistic. This ask isn't about my situation specifically but rather something I am having difficulty understanding. Why is having a genital preference considered transphobic? If you can have physical preference for a certain gender, why not for genitals? What if someone couldn't maintain arousal/has sensory issues with certain genitals? Dating isn't just be about the physical side but for some a fulfilling sex life is important for a healthy relationship.

Okay, so, the thing is that having a genital preference in and of itself isn’t the problem. Having a genital preference can occur for many reasons and the personal choice to not have sexual contact with a particular set of genitalia, for whatever reason, is perfectly acceptable. 

The problem lies in subsequent generalizations. Refusing to date “men” because you hate dick is transphobic, and refusing to date “women” because you hate vaginas is also transphobic. There’s a big difference between “I don’t want to date trans men/women* because having sexual contact with their particular set of genitalia is not a comfortable experience” and “I don’t want to date trans men/women because they’re trans”. 

The big bottom line about people, though, is that you can’t make huge, overarching generalizations, especially not about what people may or may not have in their pants. So the problem isn’t the preference itself, but the generalizations that you can get caught up in.

Followers can also add on.

Knight

[sad-eyed-lady-of-the-low-lands]

like, I think the issue is when people say “I wouldn’t date a trans girl because I don’t like dick” or “I wouldn’t date a trans man because I don’t like vagina” when, you have no idea what’s in their pants, and by making sweeping statements like that you’re implying you do which is the issue. By all means say “I couldn’t date someone with a dick/vagina” don’t say “I couldn’t date a trans girl/boy.”

Explained in many less words than I did. LOL

Knight

[lgbtautistics]

This time on the right blog. :::T

[the-anchorless-moon]

Also like, genital repulsion only really comes into play when you’re having a certain type of sex with someone, so saying that you can’t date someone because they have x genitalia is essentially saying that you expect that anyone you date will want to have that type of sex with you. As an ace person that’s… icky. And like, if that’s a dealbreaker to you then fair enough, that relationship probably won’t work out then, but you’re not entitled to know about someone’s genitals before you decide whether or not to date them just because you might hypothetically do certain things with them at some unspecified point in the future.

[hello-homophobes]

the incelsectionals are at it again. why do asexuals weigh in on normal relationships like they know anything about the rest of us?

who knew in 2018 we’d come around to wondering if monosexuality was a useful term. bc these assholes really act like the catholic church expecting gay ppl to have celibate relationships with the opposite sex, or like corrective rapists that we just have to figure out how to take the opposite sex’s genitals.

gay men aren’t attracted to biological females. lesbians aren’t attracted to biological males. these aren’t generalizations. conversion therapy, compulsory heterosexuality, and casual social homophobia all operate under the impression that homosexuality can be fluid and all gay ppl can have exceptions to our orientation. even our own parents caution us against coming out in case something changes down the line. being attracted to the same sex isn’t a preference. it’s not a preference for straight ppl either but they’re not as vulnerable to this nasty rhetoric so it doesn’t matter. stop preying on gay ppl for validation. sexual orientation is based on biological sex so stop conflating “i’m gay so i won’t date you” with “i won’t date you so i don’t respect how you identify your gender”. you tried to say this but contradicted yourself with the rest of your post.

nobody needs to consider other ways of having sex with ppl they’re not attracted to. nobody’s sexual orientation is based on gender or pronouns. your identity doesn’t control other ppl’s lives. if you’re uncomfortable as a trans man dating lesbians or straight men, don’t. if you’re uncomfortable as a trans woman dating gay men or straight women, don’t. but don’t expect the rest of us to pretend to be bisexual to validate you, to engage in traumatic sex, to pity date you, or to act like your identities affect our innate orientation. 

[lgbtautistics]

Dear newcomer: kindly never reblog any of my posts again, do not make completely out there generalizations abt people’s orientations on my posts, and please look in and ask yourself why you actually think incelsectional is either funny or a legitimate term to call someone. thank you for your time.

- Knight

[lilith-apologist]

aren’t us autistics supposed to be like…logical and shit -_-

[lgbtautistics]

i don't need people to like me, and certainly not for my opinions. i don't hinge my self-worth on having the socially appropriate opinions or on fulfilling damaging stereotypes about people with my disability. the fact that you assumed this makes me think that you hinge your self-worth on being properly "socially inappropriate" and controversial. sorry, you aren't special, and no amount of trolling on tumblr is going to make you worth any more time than it took me to type this post. good luck on your quest for validation. you'll need it.

[lgbtautistics]

Reminder that this blog is anti-TERF

[biologicallygay]

I bet I can make you burn with rage using only three magic words.

[lgbtautistics]

[camsnotdeadneitherisska]

What words? I’ll wait.

[lgbtautistics]

no dogs allowed ):

[lgbtautistics]

Reminder that this blog is anti-TERF

[biologicallygay]

I bet I can make you burn with rage using only three magic words.

[lgbtautistics]

[lgbtautistics]

hey, neurodivergent allistic here. i know autism speaks is bad but i literally can’t find one single post fully explaining why, and my adhd hellbrain would sooner die than let me read through multiple posts to figure it out. i’m sorry if i come across as ignorant, i just really want to be informed because there are so few resources to learn about autism for people who don’t experience it firsthand. thank u

[This post] covers most of it. @neurowonderful has a resources page [Here - link does not work on app] that includes several links about why the autistic community does not support Autism Speaks. Hope this helps!

Knight 

[anonymous-ivplay]

Not to change the subject but dumb question, as someone who has been only recently diagnosed, how can one be neurodivergent and allistic?

[lgbtautistics]

neurodivergence includes learning and neurodevelopmental disabilities other than autism & mental illness.

Ex

[lgbtautistics]

hey, neurodivergent allistic here. i know autism speaks is bad but i literally can’t find one single post fully explaining why, and my adhd hellbrain would sooner die than let me read through multiple posts to figure it out. i’m sorry if i come across as ignorant, i just really want to be informed because there are so few resources to learn about autism for people who don’t experience it firsthand. thank u

[This post] covers most of it. @neurowonderful has a resources page [Here - link does not work on app] that includes several links about why the autistic community does not support Autism Speaks. Hope this helps!

Knight 

[lesbianpervinca]

Anybody know what I should expect the first time I bind? My binder should be here next Friday and I can’t wait, but I’m a bit worried. Please answer especially if you have sensory issues and bind. Sorry for bothering y’all.

[lgbtautistics]

Reblogging this onto here since this will definitely help other people.

So, it definitely depends on what makes your SPD react in terms of how a binder will feel, but for me, the biggest things were the thick, itchy seams and the somewhat rough binding material in the front. I have (TMI) sensitive nips and I actually have to wear pasties when I bind bc otherwise I will suffer all day. Yep. The easiest way to resolve this is to wear a tanktop under your binder, but in blistering southern heat I would salute you if you did such a thing.

As far as what to expect when you first try it on, total euphoria is usually the first response to looking at yourself in the mirror. You might notice it takes a little more effort to breathe. The binder will stretch out over use, so it won’t always be as tight as it is the first time you put it on. Taking some big deep breaths will help stretch your binder out. That being said, always listen to your body and take it off if you’re not comfortable.

Binding actually did wonders for my sensory processing issues since it’s basically a rlly tight hug, but I know some people absolutely can’t stand the seams. I have a GC2B binder for reference and have never used other ones so I can’t speak for what it feels like to wear other brands. If any followers would like to add on with their own experiences, please do so!

Knight & Ex

[lgbtautistics]

Headcannon: Izuku "Deku" Midoriya from My Hero Academia is Autistic and All Might/Heroes/Quirks are his special interests. Stimming includes rocking/swaying side to side when sitting sometimes and fidgeting with his hands. :v

I never got past chapter ten of My Hero Academia, but I agree with this wholeheartedly. Deku is a good bean.

Ex

[lgbtautistics]

PSA

The blocklist of this blog is expanding at an alarming rate bc people seem incapable of reading so lets review the things this blog does not tolerate at all:

- Aphobic rhetoric, otherwise known as the Ace Discourse. regardless of mods’ opinions on the subject matter, this is not a place to discuss this or to exclude.

- “Biological” male/female rhetoric that invalidates the identity of trans men and women, especially gay trans men and lesbian trans women

- Implications that an orientation is fundamentally transphobic AND that the inclusion of trans people is homophobic

Beyond this I gently remind everyone that Ex and I are both proud Jews and we check for antisemitism, which is ALSO not tolerated on this blog. peace be with you all.

- Knight

[lgbtautistics]

Some people are same gender attracted and other people are same sex attracted. If we try to understand each other, then one side isn't calling everyone homophobes and incels, and the other isn't calling them genital fetishists and transphobes. Can't we try to get along and understand that dating and sex are nice but not public resources, meaning nobody is entitled to them?

I disagree with nothing in your message my dude

Knight

[lgbtautistics]

I am a pansexual autistic. This ask isn't about my situation specifically but rather something I am having difficulty understanding. Why is having a genital preference considered transphobic? If you can have physical preference for a certain gender, why not for genitals? What if someone couldn't maintain arousal/has sensory issues with certain genitals? Dating isn't just be about the physical side but for some a fulfilling sex life is important for a healthy relationship.

Okay, so, the thing is that having a genital preference in and of itself isn’t the problem. Having a genital preference can occur for many reasons and the personal choice to not have sexual contact with a particular set of genitalia, for whatever reason, is perfectly acceptable. 

The problem lies in subsequent generalizations. Refusing to date “men” because you hate dick is transphobic, and refusing to date “women” because you hate vaginas is also transphobic. There’s a big difference between “I don’t want to date trans men/women* because having sexual contact with their particular set of genitalia is not a comfortable experience” and “I don’t want to date trans men/women because they’re trans”. 

The big bottom line about people, though, is that you can’t make huge, overarching generalizations, especially not about what people may or may not have in their pants. So the problem isn’t the preference itself, but the generalizations that you can get caught up in.

Followers can also add on.

Knight

[sad-eyed-lady-of-the-low-lands]

like, I think the issue is when people say “I wouldn’t date a trans girl because I don’t like dick” or “I wouldn’t date a trans man because I don’t like vagina” when, you have no idea what’s in their pants, and by making sweeping statements like that you’re implying you do which is the issue. By all means say “I couldn’t date someone with a dick/vagina” don’t say “I couldn’t date a trans girl/boy.”

[bosooka]

Explained in many less words than I did. LOL

Knight

[lgbtautistics]

This time on the right blog. :::T

[the-anchorless-moon]

Also like, genital repulsion only really comes into play when you’re having a certain type of sex with someone, so saying that you can’t date someone because they have x genitalia is essentially saying that you expect that anyone you date will want to have that type of sex with you. As an ace person that’s… icky. And like, if that’s a dealbreaker to you then fair enough, that relationship probably won’t work out then, but you’re not entitled to know about someone’s genitals before you decide whether or not to date them just because you might hypothetically do certain things with them at some unspecified point in the future.

[hello-homophobes]

the incelsectionals are at it again. why do asexuals weigh in on normal relationships like they know anything about the rest of us?

who knew in 2018 we’d come around to wondering if monosexuality was a useful term. bc these assholes really act like the catholic church expecting gay ppl to have celibate relationships with the opposite sex, or like corrective rapists that we just have to figure out how to take the opposite sex’s genitals.

gay men aren’t attracted to biological females. lesbians aren’t attracted to biological males. these aren’t generalizations. conversion therapy, compulsory heterosexuality, and casual social homophobia all operate under the impression that homosexuality can be fluid and all gay ppl can have exceptions to our orientation. even our own parents caution us against coming out in case something changes down the line. being attracted to the same sex isn’t a preference. it’s not a preference for straight ppl either but they’re not as vulnerable to this nasty rhetoric so it doesn’t matter. stop preying on gay ppl for validation. sexual orientation is based on biological sex so stop conflating “i’m gay so i won’t date you” with “i won’t date you so i don’t respect how you identify your gender”. you tried to say this but contradicted yourself with the rest of your post.

nobody needs to consider other ways of having sex with ppl they’re not attracted to. nobody’s sexual orientation is based on gender or pronouns. your identity doesn’t control other ppl’s lives. if you’re uncomfortable as a trans man dating lesbians or straight men, don’t. if you’re uncomfortable as a trans woman dating gay men or straight women, don’t. but don’t expect the rest of us to pretend to be bisexual to validate you, to engage in traumatic sex, to pity date you, or to act like your identities affect our innate orientation. 

[lgbtautistics]

Dear newcomer: kindly never reblog any of my posts again, do not make completely out there generalizations abt people’s orientations on my posts, and please look in and ask yourself why you actually think incelsectional is either funny or a legitimate term to call someone. thank you for your time.

- Knight

[lgbtautistics]

Attention

Due to the intimidating and looming amount of messages in the inbox, I deleted all of them! If your message has not been answered, please send it again!

Ex

[lgbtautistics]

Do you have any idea how to comprehend/understand and figure out your gender when you're autisric? Cuz I have 0 idea how.

Unfortunately, I can’t really tell you how to understand your gender. Gender is a highly complicated, personal thing, and only you can really learn to understand what it is and how you relate to it. Just like I can’t teach you how to feel happy (or understand that you are happy), I can’t teach you how to understand your own gender. If anyone has any tips, feel free to respond.

Ex