what bi people want. what they really, really want…
I’m under the impression that there’s a lot of misunderstanding among gay and lesbian people on tumblr about what bisexual and other multisexual people are trying to achieve within the LGBTQ+ community. I can obviosuly only speak for myself so feel free to add/correct me, but the way I see it:
what bisexual people want:
having our queerness acknowledged by gay and lesbian people and not having it invalidated no matter our gender presentation, our relationship history or the gender of our current partner
not having our queerness considered as “lesser” than that of gay and lesbian people
having our identity taken seriously no matter our gender presentation, age, relationship history or current partner
the acknowledgement that our problems don’t stop when we’re read as being in a man/woman relationship
feeling welcomed, safe and accepted in queer spaces
the acknowledgement of the shared experiences and history between multisexual and lesbian women and between multisexual and gay men
the acknowledgement that we also face homophobia due to our same-gender attractions and that it’s just as real and serious as homophobia that gay and lesbian people face
the acknowledgement of the unique issues that bisexual people face that are not due to homophobia (that can also be unique and different for bisexual women, men and non-binary people)
the acknowledgement of the existance of a system that originates in heterosexist heteronormative structures that dismisses, invalidates and erases bisexuals (what we call monosexism)
the acknowledgement that erasure isn’t privilege
gay and lesbian people to stop perpetuating the same biphobic bullshit straight people say
gay and lesbian people to own up to their biphobia and finally address the prevalance of systematic biphobia and bi erasure in queer spaces and “LGBT” organisations
gay and lesbian people to call out others on biphobia and bi erasure
“LGBT” organisations to stop erasing and throwing bisexual people under the bus and start addressing the issues of bi people (such as high rates of abuse and sexual violence, mental health problems, poverty and homelessness)
“LGBT” organisations having openly bisexual leaders and activists instead of openly biphobic ones
being included in “LGBT” projects and campaigns
the acknoledgement of the existance of bi men, trans and especially non-binary bisexuals, and gender non-conforming bisexuals
the acknowledgement of existance of homoromantic bisexuals and biromantic homosexuals or biromantic asexuals
not being blamed for our own oppression (e.g. “it’s bi women’s fault they are raped three times more than other women because we’re sexually availbale to men” etc.)
for bisexual women, not to hear that we reinforce heteropatriarchy by sleeping with men or that we’re “sexually available to men”/ “for male gaze”
being able to discuss our own oppression without having these discussions derailed or getting accused of being lesbophobic/homophobic for addressing biphobia among gay and lesbian people
what bisexual people do not want:
prove that we’re “the most oppressed” in the LGBTQ+ comminity
prove that lesbians are “more privileged” over bisexuals (this includes bisexuals of all genders)
prove that lesbians are just as privileged as straight men or gay men
prove that bisexuality is somehow superior or “queerer” than gay and lesbian identities (e.g. “queerer than thou”)
prove that lesbians are biphobic because they don’t date men
prove that everyone else is bisexual
turn everyone else bisexual
date biphobic gay and lesbian people (really we don’t want to date you)
*this may be true though, I’m not sure
