★. // pikachu!

byun iseul. legacy trainee.

[lgcpeter]

Almost in Danger

[lgciseul-blog]

lgcpeter‌:

Peter could see the other guy was surprised by his sudden question, but he couldn’t thought on any other way to approach him. Peter was a bit sorry for interrupting him like that, he felt relieved when the other made a smile and accepted his request.

« Peter, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you too … actually we’re in the same training group but we hadn’t the chance to talk yet. There is so many people at Legacy and since I join last month I took the bad habit to only hang out with my roommates » Peter laugh off his embarrassment. He came closer, as Iseul invited him.

« I’d like to dance along with you but I’m not sure. Whenever I dance to Danger it’s totally wrong and I can’t get why … maybe I’ll find the answer if I watch you ? » Peter was hesitating, stumbling upon his words. He realized how strange he was sounding.

« Ugh it sounds awful, anyway thank you for letting me watch you, I won’t disturb you. » Peter hated himself for being so awkward. It was like he was back to middle school, not knowing how to interact with people. What was so difficult, he couldn’t ask a simple thing to someone his own age ?

He took a step toward the spot Iseul was showing him, making sure to not make any unnecessary move. 

dancing doesn’t come naturally to many, and iseul realizes that he’s blessed when it comes to that. cannot say he’s the best, but that’s the good of it: he’s still improving, and what’s growth without that? so, he finds himself fortunate either way. and so is everyone. learning is crucial, it’s the core of their being here after all, and even later after ( if ) they debut. he’s glad that there are still so many people around him willing to acknowledge their weaknesses, so he doesn’t feel as alone when he asks around for help. in return, he’s glad to be of service for those who need his help as well.

“peter,” he says, tasting the name on the tip of his tongue. the western name makes him quirk his eyebrow. “are you not from seoul or south korea? it’s all good, i should make it more of a habit to get to know more people too.” he offers a pleasant yet sheepish smile. “but yeah, that’s fine! let’s dance together to see what we’re lacking together.” looking into his reflection in the mirror, he prepares his own stance as everyone around them gathers again, back to their previous stations to continue with the training regimes. “it’s okay! don’t worry about it... i’ll try helping you as much as i can. you can just focus on your steps and i’m going to see if we’re moving the same ways.”

he starts by doing the initial pose, and as the song streams into the room gradually, he begins the dance too. the beats are simple for him due to the number of times he’s listened and trained to the song. it feels like muscle memory already, so it’s easier for him to look at peter to notice whether the other is moving according to the same rhythms in the same moves. there are errors in some parts that iseul notices, as well as having some out of the beats, but overall peter is holding up pretty well for a fresh trainee that supposedly isn’t dance-oriented, if it’s up to iseul’s judgment. when they reach the finish point, iseul grins at peter. “that was pretty good! you aren’t totally wrong, i think you downplayed yourself,” he explains. “it’s just that some areas can be out of place sometimes. let’s try dancing to the first verse first?” he offers, moving slightly to the side of the training room so that they aren’t in the way of others.

[lgciseul-blog]

one-way street.

★. //   thread: featuring @lgcwren.            timeline: present day, after family concert 2019.

in the confines of an environment like this, where some people would leave in defeat while many would persevere to flourish into someone bigger, better, it’s not uncommon for various happenstances to occur. this is just one of the consequences in practically living so long within the walls of the company. having been here for years, he has liked, and been liked. crushes that bloom and perish just like that at times. this is one of them, and he barely has had the opportunity to really know her before the ‘L’ bomb was dropped by a mutual friend. some people really don’t know how to just... not gossip, it seems. and they’re young ( and getting even younger and younger as the time goes, which scares iseul sometimes, because damn there are twelve year olds in this building ), so such things would be expected.

iseul himself definitely wouldn’t excuse himself from the gossiping part. sometimes it’s a good way to bond with people who would otherwise remain silent, but it’s also not a good behaviour. sure, he is aware of that. it’s not the way one should do to befriend others. but yeah, awareness of that aside, this is the result of gossiping: the fact that he’s now a tad awkward with a girl that he almost doesn’t know that well. just a fellow trainee that he just started getting to know. it was an old blossom, one that he should’ve dismissed by now. but still, the air shared between them is still... stilted. iseul is trying, however. he doesn’t want to make it even more awkward, and he’s certain that she’s moved on from him by now, so when he encounters wren in the hallway, he offers a smile, hoping this meeting wouldn’t be as stiff as previous ones.

“noona,” he starts, but switches in english naturally. “how are you today?” goodness, it feels so much like being a tryhard. but hell, he is one now. “how was the concert for you, still feeling tired from it?” he continues, smiling even when his muscles still feel like they weigh so much more with all the fatigue. all those hours of practice sessions really paid off, though. “are you going to the cafeteria? i’m starving... maybe we can have some lunch together? unless you’re not on a break.”

[lgcpeter]

Almost in Danger

[lgciseul-blog]

lgcpeter‌:

> LEGACY FAMILY 2k19 event

When Peter came back to the training room the day following his encounter with trainer Seo, his confidence and motivation were at their top level. His mind was clear and he felt well rest for the first time in the last two weeks. Even if he had taken days off the record store, he was feeling drained most of the days.  

He started dancing to Not Young and felt great differences. He was thrilled by the improvement. And the more excited he was, the better he was dancing.

But as Peter was attempting to dance to Danger, he felt gradually more discouraged. He knew the movements, he was executing them on rhythm and he was trying to actually enjoy it. But something was definitely wrong. 

“Well, you can’t transform into a dancing genius overnight..” he thoughts while drinking water, taking a small break. 

He looked around him, watching at the other trainees. They had agreed to do self training for the first period in the morning before group training.  A guy caught his eyes. He had join the company not so long before Peter.  Yet Peter hadn’t got the chance to talk to him. 

The guy wasn’t the best dancer in the room but he was glowing. He had charisma and that something Peter was definitely lacking. 

“Excuse me, can I watch you dance ?”  Peter approached @lgciseul​ shamelessly. After all, he too had to stood out during this concert.

there have been many critiques that come with his training days, but one that persists for quite a long time would be this. the fact that he’s spreading himself out so thin he doesn’t focus on one skill enough to make it stand out. he’s a good singer, a good dancer, all trained but not polished to perfection yet as of current. many have told him the same advice over the years: focus, and work on the rest later. but still, he’s here and stretching himself towards many other areas. he is proud to say besides mastering the art of beatboxing ( which definitely can be a variety material, along with its intrinsic musical values ), he’s also a not so novice rapper. he can play musical instrument, too. he is decent at modelling, and the rest, he discards them as necessary.

but he’s not there yet even with his dancing and singing, which is such a struggle at times because he’s been here for so long, and done those even longer. maybe if he isn’t so into pokémon... well, no. that keeps him sane going through all these harsh criticisms, the ever-rising demands of the industry that always increases their level to another notch. now, he just needs to concentrate on his dance, so that he can go back to playing his switch. or at least pokémon go. whichever. but now, one step, two step. danger is what he’s always into as both a song and choreo, so it might seem effortless on his end. he just needs to sharpen the moves, once again. and stays focusing — but it’s a tad difficult when he knows someone is watching closely. a stranger. sure, he doesn’t mind an audience, yet this guy... ah, right. after iseul is done with one regimen, the supposed stranger — is he, though? iseul has seen him around for so long without any chance to converse properly — approaches him.

there’s a polite request enunciated, leaving iseul slightly baffled for a moment since he believes that such thing doesn’t usually come with a formal inquiry like this. even with quirked eyebrows in confusion, he gives the stranger a nod. “sure thing,” he says, lips curving into a small smile. “or if you’d like to dance along with me, just let me know! we haven’t known each other before, i think? legacy is truly a big place.” he chuckles, offering a bow with his head. more like a nod, as he isn’t sure if the guy is of the same age or not. “i’m iseul. it’s a pleasure.” he hums, watching as the rest move around while resting. the session will be resumed soon, so he readies himself in his claimed spot. “you can take the place here next to mine if you’d like.”

[dazzlingkai]

KAI for W Korea (September issue)

[lgciseul-blog]

★. //   meme: honesty hour august - september ‘19.            status: two out of three, to be continued.

how do you plan to catch all ‘em fans? — a question sent by @lgcyonghwa.

“by my cuteness?” he asks, preparing to do the ‘bbuing bbuing’ aegyo, but he puts his hands down before doing it for real, laughing freely. he hums, thinking about the possible answers to this. “just joking! i don’t think i’m that cute.” but he puts a lopsided smirk that indicates he might or might not think of himself as cute. “well, i think fans are like us, liking specific people for specific reasons. it can be looks, can be skills. i can try being more well-rounded, be it in my skills or my personality, so that when i debut i will be ready to catch them all hearts! i’m certain that not everyone is going to like me, though, since there are also others, fellow members and idols. so it all boils down to preferences.” he rubs his chin, as though deep in thoughts. “so actually, it’s more about me being chosen by fans, as opposed to the other way round. so sadly, my plan to catch ‘em all may or may not fall through. but hey, i’m optimistic! i can catch ‘em, some of ‘em!”

if another company were to offer you a contract, would you continue to stay with legacy? — a question sent by @lgcjaesun.

that’s one hell of a question to answer, placed right after the pokémon dream team one. he furrows his eyebrows in a pensive manner, trying to sort the answer in the most polite fashion. this, after all, is a reply that might make a perception of himself. make or break, really. being with legacy has been a part of him that defines; it is something that he’d regard as a part of his identity. that’s been how he’d describe himself, as a legacy trainee for the past nearly three years, and that kind of sticks. he’s had his ups and downs with the company, all those months spent onto his training to become an idol one day, hopefully. “to become their trainee?” he asks to confirm if he’s got the question right. “no, i don’t think so. i don’t think so if it’s to become a debuted idol either, unless legacy decides to kick me out because of one reason or another. i think it’s a mutual symbiosis between the company and me. like, i’ve exerted a lot of efforts to train here, and legacy has invested a lot of their resources into my growth as a person and a possible idol in the future, too. there’s a form of attachment here, i think, and i don’t know where i’d be if not in legacy. so in short, that’s a no, yeah.”

what sacrifices would you make to debut? — a question sent by @lgcezra.

“uh,” he forms a pensive pout as he faces this question. it’s another tough question to answer, and he knows it’s going to sound very cheesy, but he’s trying. it’s better than not providing any answer at all, he believes, and he tries to formulate the reply as much as he can so that he doesn’t sound too generic, or too pompous. eyebrows knitted together, he licks his lower lip before suturing the haphazard list into something more cohesive. “i think this answer won’t be much of a difference compared to other trainees. after all these years spent on training, i believe my fellow trainees and i would give up just about everything we have to debut, but in my case, i’ll be facing some other challenges. maybe i’m risking my relationship with my father, depending on how it unfolds. he only agreed to my debuting because i’ve promised him something. he’s still not in accord fully, though. i’d also make other sacrifices necessary, as asked from me. maybe my biggest compromise is to be less of myself, and more of what the company wants out of me. i’m pretty sure there’s a persona that an idol will have to wear in front of their fans, and i’m not going to be an exception. i like being as genuine as i can, but i believe if it’s what it takes to be in the industry, i’ll do it.”

[lgciseul-blog]

★. //   meme: honesty hour august - september ‘19.            status: one out of three, to be continued.

since you seem to have a split personality as pikachu, what would be your dream pokemon team? — a question sent by @lgcxking.

this definitely wins the cake when it comes to a hard question, because if there’s anything byun iseul cannot do, it would be to choose one dream team of the many many pokémons that exist in the world. well, no, he cannot do many things in all truths, but choosing a team would be one hell of a task. he takes his time, mulling over it. fathoming what kind of dynamics that would work within the system, how the group would be both offensive and defensive, cohesive at the same time. he squints for a bit, calculating and re-calculating until he has one definite answer that he’s happy with. “this is by far one of the most questions anyone has ever asked me, but,” he hums, “out of anything, right? can be from any region? legendary included? i’d have to go with my pikachu baby as a starter pokémon. no evolution, please. and also, psyduck for my psychic. i’d also love to have gyarados in the mix, along with umm... groudon for the ground type. my other and final two would be flareon and dragonite! phew, that was a difficult decision to make. i can make some more teams, definitely, but these make the best combination for me since i only had one team to make.”

skills aside, how different are you today as person compared to when you first joined legacy? — a question sent by @lgcmiso.

he quirks his eyebrows at the question. he’s one to contemplate, to overthink, definitely. so, when this kind of inquiries arises, he’s no stranger to the answers. still, iseul believes that he’s not as shallow as many would think he is, and he takes this type of talks seriously. self-growth is one thing that he’s always nurtured since he practically grew up without any impactful parental guidance. relying on himself has always been the way, and therefore, this comes as no surprise now that he tend to be reflective. he smiles politely, then, and tries stitching the answers together to make a coherent compilation. “i think i’ve grown in many ways, especially in views. you don’t see this kind of view in many places, especially school, and by this i mean having such a competitive environment as your surroundings. it’s cutthroat, and sometimes we would be tempted to see people as rivals all the time, but i learned to separate roles based on where we are. my friends can be my rivals at the same time, and i’ve made many friends, seeing different perspectives from people with so many different backgrounds. i used to believe that the industry would suffocate me, too, but now i don’t think i’d have it any other way.”

what do you miss about melbourne? — a question sent by @lgcsohee.

it’s a home away from home for him; melbourne, as beautiful as it is, has never been the first. seoul is where he knows he grew up in, but melbourne is one place where his mother resides, chasing after her dreams relentlessly. for that, the memories of the place are diluted with mixed reactions. feelings are contaminated with various factors, but he definitely always keeps this place on his mind no matter where he goes. it’s a second home, still, but it’s where he once belonged, too. “i definitely miss the coffee!” he chips in firsthand with a fond grin growing on his face. “the place is also idyllic, people have such rhythms that feel quite different from seoul. seoul is... busier, i think? people seem to hurry, but it also maintains a pace that i like. seoul is also warmer in terms of people, even when we all know that the freedom to express things is rather... limited. melbourne is definitely where people can be more open-minded, but it isn’t free from many issues as well. and i miss my place there, and my mother. i correlate melbourne with my mother, mostly.”

if you weren't training to be an idol, what would you be doing? — a question sent by anonymous.

“a pikachu impersonator?” he laughs. “you know like the people in japan who wear pikachu costumes and dance around together? i’d be one of them.” the jest pushed aside, however, he alters his expression to that of a more serious one. hints of playfulness are still there, though. he chuckles, then, and shakes his head. “i’d probably be studying more seriously. there are people who expected for me to excel not only in academics, back then. or, well, thinking about it... actually no. my parents didn’t expect much from me when it comes to my school results, but they definitely wanted me to follow their footsteps.” a pause, he lingers in the silence for a bit, looking slightly forlorn in reminiscence. “some people might think i’m a bad son because i clearly defy all those hopes, but i’ll manage something in the future about it. but to be honest, if i weren’t training to be an idol, i’d still be doing something else that wouldn’t follow that path either.”

[lgciseul-blog]

★. //   solo: preparation for family concert 2019.            word count: 922 words. status: pika?            skill points: +5 dancing, +2 notoriety.

the reverberated sound of the music has been on repeat since the day commenced, and like the rest of the group, there are always spots to improve on. the dance of this song has always been one of his favorite choregraphies, among plenty others. he had memorized it far from before the day of announcement that the trainees could perform was enunciated, but he believes he isn’t the only one with such advantage. after all, a huge portion of the trainees in legacy look up to their seniors so much, and this song is no exception as the fancied songs for many.

but there’s always that pressure at the back of his mind. to become better, and better, and better. there’s the sense of competitiveness that never really leaves him, regardless of all the self-reflection, inner talks that he’s done to ensure his sanity during this relentless journey. sure, he’s read a dozen of books that tell him not to be fixated on competitions, for the races will wear him down. instead, focus on the greater parts, on how everyone can be a winner, that it should be a win-win solution. but is there such concept in the industry that seems more like homo homini lupus in practice? no matter how much he tries to see his friends as friends, fellow trainees always pose their own threats. sure, he wants to erase that mindset from his mind, but sometimes it intervenes. interjections aside, though, he’s going to try and be the best version of himself most of the time.

alas, his concentration is nowhere to be found in this second session of the training. the day feels long, the jaunt feels endless. maybe it’s because of the fact that he did make a bad decision by playing pokémon ( again? ) after midnight, resulting in the lack of sleep. and after the morning routine, the lunch break was welcome but it also makes him a tad lethargic now. maybe he’s too full. who knows, who knows. or maybe, all those sharp moves exerted throughout the morning have unclenched his energy level. his stamina isn’t usually this bad, though, but perhaps it’s just one of those days— snap. the music stops right when he realizes he’s made a mistake, and when jaehyuk calls him over, he knows he’s messed up.

the thought doesn’t need long to be proven. when he’s being called to move forward, and then to the side of the practice room after the instruction to rest is dispatched for the rest of the batch, his heart is ramming against his chest. maybe from the adrenaline, maybe from the anxiety. both seem like a good combination to explain, too. jaehyuk doesn’t have to say anything for him to wear guilt on his expression, and he knows that jaehyuk sees that clearly. “is there anything that bothers you?” jaehyuk doesn’t wait before asking, sounding genuinely inquisitive about iseul’s wellbeing, which warms him. he swallows, and the answer “no” would be the normative, acceptable one. but this time, when they’re talking privately like this, he feels that he doesn’t need to lie. and he’s sure that lying wouldn’t do him any good when it’s obvious anyway.

lacking sleep isn’t a good excuse — each and every one of them is. so he tries to be honest, and returns the question with an honest reply. “i just don’t think i’m enough sometimes. like, there’s always something wrong, even when i get better.” he swallows, and dares to look up at the coach. he mulls over it for a bit, a pause that is kind enough to let him ponder also makes him ask the senior back. “did you feel that too when you were a trainee? like, everyone was better than you no matter how much you improved?” the conversation is in whisper, almost. at least from iseul’s side, he feels comfortable enough to share this with jaehyuk even when he knows maybe jaehyuk is just doing his job. the pause is prolonged, then, and he looks hopefully at jaehyuk, but receives no answer before jaehyuk smiles. this time, iseul cannot seem to decipher the true meaning behind the countenance.

“well, i still feel that until now,” jaehyuk says. “being a debuted idol doesn’t make you invisible to these thoughts.” at that, iseul blinks. what is missing when someone is like jaehyuk, having been a successful group member, and now a solo artist too? “at the end of the day, we can keep improving no matter how much we have got better. nothing is the end until you’re done with it.” and that sinks in for a while. iseul takes a moment to let the words seep into his flesh, understanding some of the minuscule meanings behind all this glory. then, he slowly nods, feeling relieved.

“i understand, sunbaenim.” goodness, it feels good. it might be a subject to ponder over later, but for now, it’s enough to satiate all these hungry thoughts. he appreciates it when jaehyuk rests a hand on his shoulder, giving it a good squeeze.

“i’ve seen you all these years, and sometimes these things can be a bother. but you know, keep it up, as cheesy as this sounds.” jaehyuk chuckles lightly, and iseul returns it with a smile of his own. “now don’t mess it up again. keep the thoughts at bay. that’s how you get to be a professional,” the advice continues, and he listens attentively, nodding. “we all have our demons, but don’t let them rule you.”

[lgciseul-blog]

don’t let that gif fool you because this byun iseul right here is a clown™, but that put aside for now, hello! i’m your resident trash for pikachu, so i made iseul an even bigger trash. before you ask, yes, his voice reached that high-pitched pikachu voice after years of training. and he’s shameless. this character is a self-insert, you’ve been forewarned— i exposed myself too much. whale, whale, if you’d like to plot something with this pikachu enthusiast ( me, not iseul ), please like this so i can come running to your im’s. i also have discord if that’s easier for you, so if you’d prefer that medium, feel free to im me with your username and i’ll add you right away!

tl;dr about iseul, he’s a chaebol in disguise. he was born as a ‘99 liner in melbourne, raised a bit in seoul, raised a bit in melbourne, raised a bit in seoul again until he entered the company as a trainee in january 2017. he attended snu for a bit until last year. he’s in a gap year period right now to focus more on his training, but he’s also still frolicking to avoid stress. he sings and dances, and also beatboxes. rapping is eh but he’ll survive. performance is a-ok++. he plays drum, is bilingual. another secret ammunition is his high-pitch after those years training to become pikachu’s voice actor. he’s very easygoing, shameless, sometimes easy to jokingly be bullied. not seriously, though — if that’s the case he has smol fists to fight like a meanie. all dynamics are welcome for him, especially if you’re into pokémon. he allegedly spends what little is left of his free time to play pokémon let’s go pikachu. your variety show material right here, would do anything to entertain. would come off as a tryhard at times. hit me up for more dose of this wreckage, and we’ll come up with something together!