RUH ROH!!

stop being a dolt and call.... ⚡ B O L T ⚡ pricing to be discussed However, if you need actual help from actual heroes, call your local authorities. Or ask for the help of Supernova and her superteam! - Sincerely, Jeffrey Cohen Chang

[liabilityformo]

I may need to take my rubberband ball out of my office space as it’s getting a little too big for it to be considered not a safety hazard. It rolled on to the floor while I was alone and made the floor vibrate so hard I thought maybe there was another attack going on. But no, it just the result of diligent collecting for 53 years. Granted, a few of the really old rubber bands crumbled right off. It was... a sight. Hopefully none of the other Jones facility felt it and freaked out. Or should I just bring in some cookies to be safe regardless?

[liabilityformo]

wakennbake‌:

Uh…hey, guys. I know things have been weird and stuff, but I’ve actually had some kind of cool stuff going on. Mainly, I have an art opening that’s about to go down. I’d love to see a lot of friendly faces there, just in case no one shows up and I’m stuck drinking sparkling cider all alone and crying in a corner about all the money I’m not making. And if you’re a fan of art, or space, you should pop on in too. It’ll be a good time, if you’re into fancy boring shit and free champagne.

I also need a date or five so hit me up if you want to be my arm candy.

I know it isn’t exactly cool to have your brother as a date, but you know I’ll be there to support you and your art! I can’t wait to see it, and I know I won’t be the only one there. We’ll be sure to have a toast with the sparkling cider like it’s New Year’s Eve crica 1977! It really did become all the rage so quickly.

[liabilityformo]

TEXT 📲 HANSON

HAN: Testing, testing 1, 2, 3. Is this thing on?

MADS: why, if it isn't my knight in shining armor!!!

MADS: thanks for lifting a deli for me. well, for everyone else, too, but specifically the one causin me some troubles.

MADS: are you doing ok?

HAN [unsent]: You don't know how right you are about that.

HAN: Yes, yes, always a big deal when Bolt graces someone's life. I know.

HAN: You don't have to thank me for that. It had to be done. Granted it was... unexpected to see you under me.

HAN: As in under the rubble under my feet.

[...]

HAN: Yeah, of course I'm okay. You know me, invulnerability is one of my specialties. I'd be nowhere without it.

[...]

HAN: Are you doing okay? Did you get checked out?

[liabilityformo]

law-havoc‌:

These last 24 hours have been crazy, and I was just forced to leave the hospital due to hitting the number of hours allowed limit. But it was nice to see my apartment still standing when I did go home, although the earthquakes from everything last night made a bit of a mess. I think it’s better to think about all the people that were saved instead of the ones that couldn’t be… or at least that’s what helps me

That makes sense. I carted off a lot of injured civilians to the hospitals, and all of them were their own level of chaos. It’s good there are medical experts like you willing to go the distance, Doc. And standing apartment is the best kind of apartment, I say. My penthouse was mostly standing strong, just a lack of water. I did lose a few light fixtures though, but I wanted to redecorate anyway.

[liabilityformo]

kweencass‌:

My sweet lil lighting bolt, you do such a good job at taking care of this city. I’m so proud of you. You deserve ten showers and a nap, so I’m really sorry your pipes are all busted. And like, of course my shower is always open if you need it. Not even hitting on you this time like, please lemme know if you need to come over. Yesterday was…exhausting. And sad. I really am proud of you for all that you do.

My sweet, sweet Moonshine, you have been Bolt’s hygiene's saving grace and I appreciate you. So much. Along with your shower. I also would appreciate that you don’t withhold on the hitting on me, please. They’re the best compliments. I’m proud to of worked alongside you, as always. Along with the rest of your team. Chicago’s the most active city I’ve ever come across.

[liabilityformo]

private messages 📩 bolt ⇆ thyme

THYME: I try to fit in one bi-yearly moment of consideration.

THYME: I've accepted that my family falls low on your radar, so that's fine. Just know that my part in it was for the sake of them and our reputation, make no mistake.

THYME: Good.

[...]

THYME: What exactly do you mean 'the deal' with her?

BOLT: You manage to do it without it seeming like complete teeth pulling. Unless you find that enjoyable. Which wouldn't surprise me

BOLT: No mistake is being made, Thyme. I understand doing things for the sake of protecting reputation. So, as they say, you scratch my back, I scratch yours.

[...]

BOLT: As in... is she, for lack of a better word, a hitman? You threatened me with her a handful of times. And how can I tell you two apart so I know which one of you might *not* murder me?

[liabilityformo]

charlhuds‌:

Wait, how many Keurigs do you have? And in what colors? I’m surrounded by arts and crafts right now, but I don’t have much in the way of kitchen supplies, which probably just shows how misplaced my priorities are. 

I am! Well, almost. I mean, I’ve got the job, but I haven’t started the year yet, and it’s my first. I’m pretty excited. I appreciate your support, Bolt. I can’t pretend like it wouldn’t be super cool to stroll into this school on the first day with a superhero carrying my stuff–make sure the other teachers know I’m a force to be reckoned with, y’know–but I’m sure you’ve got much more important things to do. I really appreciate it, though!

(… But if you ever wanted to come in and visit with the kids as a service to Chicago’s youths, I won’t turn that down.)

I’ve got a blue one,a red one, a black one, a white one, a grey one, and my favorite is the purple one. Are you making arts and crafts or just have all the supplies surrounding you? A kitchen always needs to have appliances, that’s what makes them so neat!

Excellent! Most excellent. Teachers are some of the greatest assets to society. When does your year start? I’m happy to check my schedule and see what can be done. Bolt is always here to inspire the youth of all city’s he’s sworn to protect! I could even bring some pizza-- people love a superhero delivery service.

[liabilityformo]

TEXT || FINN + BOLT ⚡

FINN: I'm thinking of throwing a relief fundraiser at the stadium. Think you can make an appearance?

FINN: I'll invite some extra press just for you, and you know my preferred number of cameras is 0.

BOLT [unsent]: I think I need to take a few naps first

[...]

BOLT: Of course I can. Anything for the adoring public, and you.

BOLT: I don't know why that is, you have an epic profile, Finn! If I wasn't such a big football fan, I'd say you should really be a model before your face gets more funny looking.

[liabilityformo]

If I was still a paid by the hour hero, then I would have been making my keep from the last 24 hours. Which I would have gladly given up if it meant I would have hot water for a nice shower when I got home, but I didn’t. Apparently Chicago’s waterpipes to the Boltpad were a causality along with more people than I want to think about from yesterday’s... everything.

[shoujojidies-deactivated2016122]

[liabilityformo]

talonsj‌:

I have a new lover and her name is Mary Jane. Has anyone else ever met her? She’s pretty dope.

Mary Jane? Like from Scooby Doo? I like her, when she’s not possessed by strange demons. Or are you taking about the one you need to have a medical license for in the state of Illinois? Because if you don’t have one, then boy do I have a Bolt PSA for you to watch.

[liabilityformo]

charlhuds‌:

I think I went a smidgen overboard at Target today (as one does).

I’m pretty excited about being allowed into my classroom to start setting up next week, so naturally I’ve been stockpiling decorations and supplies to make sure I’m all prepared before I have to meet all the parents at open house. I’m nervous enough about having to battle looking like I’m sixteen–I can’t risk being unprepared, either. 

Anyway, I didn’t really consider the fact that I don’t have a car to tote all this stuff to the school, nor did I think about the bills I have to pay this month. Whoops.

There’s actually no way that you can’t go overboard there. Even I fall to its traps for home decor and kitchen appliances. I have more color coordinated Kureigs than necessary, but it means I can make my hot chocolate, tea, and coffee in separate machines. 

Are you a teacher? Bolt is always an avid supporter of 21st century education. If you still need a hand, I’ve learned that my flight is of great help in these situations.

[liabilityformo]

TXT MSSG 📞 ATRIA + BOLT

ATRIA: a bird got into my office and I’m so amused but also terrified.

BOLT: The Boltline is meant for true emergencies. Just because it's on billboards doesn't mean it's an open line!!

BOLT: Unless it's a genially altered for evil bird. And pigeons do count. Their eyes are... haunting

[liabilityformo]

private messages 📩 bolt ⇆ madison

MADS: I can’t turn it off. It’s a permanent mode. (:

MADS: NUMBA 1, you’ll never be able to out dad me. i’m the dadliest catch. NUMBA 2, you have to decide if you want your picture or a bolt pun. you can’t have both.

MADS: oh jesus christ

MADS [unsent]: YOU SURE WEREN’T COMPLAINING WHEN YOU HAD SOME RED ON YOU THAT NIGHT amiright

MADS: i may have temporarily switched places with a cute redhead. did you experience that same phenomenon???

BOLT [unsent]: Okay, true.

BOLT: You’re very difficult sometimes, did you know that?

BOLT: NUMBA 1, I could absolutely our dad you!! I’ve been listed as a Daddy AND Zaddy in multiple Ranker hero lists. Survey says I’m the daddliest. NUMBA 2... WHY? You can’t expect me to choose. That’s impossible.

BOLT: No, I changed with a very tiny brunette who talked to a redhead at a karaoke bar and perhaps... did some more than that.

BOLT: and now i’m certain it was you

[liabilityformo]

crusherhudson‌:

It’s not the possessions I’m worried about.  I’m sure we’ll get another trophy this season.  One step ahead of you, man.  I upped my security, I just dunno how they got into my building.  This place is pretty swanky, we got a couple guards and everything.  It makes me miss having a place in the suburbs, but it’s way closer to the stadium.  

None yet.  Couple of false leads with people just after the reward money.  If you can bring him home I’ll give you both my Superbowl rings.  

A place in the suburbs? I can’t relate. Did you have a Brady Bunch kind of home? Because that I could understand.  The suburbs of Hawaii are a lot different than that. At least in Oahu. Not a lot of elbow room or large yards, and I’d hate to go back to them. I am more of a Diff’rent Strokes life with a Penthouse. They’re the best way to live.

I don’t need your Superbowl rings, Hudsonator! You’ve earned those fair and square on your own merit. But you could get me some good seats for a Crushers game. I can get them myself, but I like the bragging rights that come with player tickets. What are some of Bo’s favorite foods?

[liabilityformo]

eddiesmythe‌:

Aw, you can’t afford it? Here, let me afford it for you. ALL ON ME. Yeah, what’s been up with that? Like, things have been going off the past week. I’m not sure if I should be worried. Worried for my son. Not so much me. I think I’ll be fine.

Wait, no, scratch that. I didn’t mean I can’t afford it because I can, absolutely. But you know, hero business and drinking don’t go so hand in hand. If there’s an emergency, I can’t say no to a Boltcall from being under the influence. You don’t have to worry for your son, if anything major happens, I’m here to protect. It’s my sworn duty.

[liabilityformo]

olliejovian‌:

Let’s just say I was forced to change some things, if I knew what was best for me. Cass’ idea.

Well, if it was Cassiopeia's idea, then that definitely means it was a good one to go along with. So you’re not just body swapped? Or are you, but we’re okay with it now?