Clouded mind

a poet. a geek.

[liah-li-blog]

A hawker in a soutane

A man in a soutane

knocked on my door.

Sweet kind eyes

you don't decline

Can't

like you can't decline

a hawker.

(can one decline his personal God?)

He gave me a business card.

And when he went away

a question was there.

Sitting in the corner

crawling under table, chairs.

'I didn't know that talking with You is

kind of business these days.'

And my quiet room

does not

answer

back.

- can you?

[liah-li-blog]

What they call love

That night,

you looked at me so fondly,

Like nobody ever before.

Was it,

(Is it)

What they so boldly

call

Love?

- I wish I've never felt that

[liah-li-blog]

A sum

For longest of times

I know

I am just a sum of

broken pieces.

And there is a glue.

I may say the glue:

The Purpose.

I just fear what happens

When the glue

dissapears.

- already happening

[liah-li-blog]

Benefits of owning pets

Who would ever say that new pet could ground you so much. You have your quadrillion of problems, and suddenly, there is a puppy who only cares about playing, eating and sleeping, completely relying on you without hesitation and it pulls you down, back to fundamental roots of life. 

It push you to slow down a little bit. Life is not so complicated for everyone.

I feel a fur of that small animal in my hands although I am not scratching him right now. And when it cuddle to my legs, silently saying I love you, I feel warmth in my chest. 

[liah-li-blog]

Your potential

You have potential.

You can do much better.

Do you have any idea,

how sour

that words

are?

- sometimes it is not so good to push my limits like this

[vasilinaorlova]

translation from non-existent original

red flower,

throwing itself in a well,

did you regret itself,

did you not want to become

a red feather?

[liah-li-blog]

Old enough, stupid enough

There are things,

which I am ashamed of.

Ones,

which are normal for ones of my age.

I wonder.

I am just older,

old enough to feel shame when I lie?

Or just naive,

believing in

happy

ever,

after?

- I wish I was wiser that night. This is sorry I would never say aloud

[liah-li-blog]

Drarry headcanon (because I am HP geek)

Canon where plp are distinguished according a season when they were born - winter, spring, summer, autumn. (And in this one I ignore when Harry and Draco were born according to canon)

Most of wizards are autumn or spring borns - they are not so influenced by seasons as much as winter and summer plp. Spring ones tend to have cheery personalities while autumn are melancholic, but that's all

Of course, Draco is winter born (pale skin, blond hair) and Harry summer born (dark hair and skin)

These two fall in love and on top of everything, living together is just ridiculous

Draco loves when temperature in their flat is chilly cause it is so refreshing and comfortable for him - but for Harry it is terrible, he is shivering half of time

Draco buys him as many comfy jumpers as possible (knitted, of course)

If Harry is not complaining, as a reward he gets lot of cuddles to warm him up

When Harry is first at home and turns heating up Draco just sighs and cast cooling spell on myself

Harry makes sure to have stock of his favourite ice cream to cool him down

In extreme weather - cold or hot - they just cant sleep in the same bed together -for one it is just too uncomfortable

They are not happy with that even after years together

Draco obviously hates beaches - bloody hell, who would want to burn himself on sand willingly? - but Harry loves it, so Draco goes with him

Draco loves ice skating and Harry goes with him although he is terrible

Draco startling Harry by putting his always cold hands on his skin

Harry warming Draco when he is sick and needs to feel heat

Draco unable to sleep when he is not sweaty thanks to Harry in their bed

Harry unable to sleep when their sheets are not little bit chilly thanks to Draco

These two idiots make it works after all

[liah-li-blog]

One Night Talk

You little people.

Crowling your little bit of warmth.

This time you failed.

Maybe your next One Night Stand

Would be better. Softer.

You try but tips of your fingers

are cold: Always.

Give me One Night Talk instead.

It's like cup of tea. A big one.

And my hands are suddendly warm: Always.

Oh. I am thrilled for our night together.

If only for once.

[liah-li-blog]

Right was said, right was (not) done

My teacher told us to write a poem.

I did.

I wrote something grey,

covers and covers to hide

vibrant colors.

just to be one of many.

Right was said.

I have vibrant and vulnerable words.

Teacher,

what this world did to me,

that I want to hide them

so much?

Right was not done.

[liah-li-blog]

To the survivor

I can guarantee that you are going to be tired. Exhausted. 

It may look silly - you did nothing physically demanding and still...

Well, actually, you did. 

Clenching and barring your teeth, gulping down words you did not want to say. Avoiding eye contact, your fists hitting wall in frustration...

You did a fucking marathon. And now you have right to be tired.

Your limbs are heavy and your mind blank. You feel beaten. It´s gonna take time - to take away a poison they infected you with. You feel like you are breathing black squashy substance, poison is everywhere, venom inside, outside-

You are gonna be a little distant for next few days at least. Your recovery time. You smile little less, you are little less spontaneous, considering every of words you have spoken, just to make sure you did not make a mistake because then you are really that stupid and worthless like they told you-

Every time you come back from there you are reserved. Your closest friends, well these ones usually know why. And they do their best to remind you your worth. That small things and problems for which someone else consider you less worthy in fact do not matter at all. 

They remind you of kindness. 

Please, do not let ones who wronged you lure you back by promises, shelter, food, money. That this is their way how to show their love for you. Because it is bullshit. Love should not hurt. It does not bend you, does not bring tears and shame. That´s not love at all. 

Behind every corner you expect a disaster. At this point, you are practically scared of life and opportunities itself.

They have no right to do this to you.

If you know what I am talking about, how heavy this can be...

You are the survivor. 

[liah-li-blog]

About good leader

He knows people under him personally. As persons, humans, not just tools.

She takes care about them. Good leader is also a protector.

He knows how much they can take and does not ask for more than they are ready to give.

She is humble in her power. Always.

And when the time comes, he will give his power to somebody stronger, better. Because reaching the goal and safety of team is far more important than who is holding a power.

Every good leader has a power and respect.

Every good leader is aware that he owns it only for short period of time.

[liah-li-blog]

Sweet girl, I have a confession

It

Should not

Feel so difficult to tell you.

Because I know you are

my sister in arms

already.

But I am so unsure

even afraid,

That it could change something.

And

every time I say it

it feels more and more real,

although I do not know

if it is set in stone already

or not.

And I do not want to lie to you

in any way.

And, Sweet girl,

if it feels like this every time you tell it

beating hard, no air, feverous fear

of your bare being to be rejected,

then you have not only my frienship

but also admiration.

I hope I am gonna be as brave as you soon.

-coming out

[liah-li-blog]

I am surrender

In big scheme of things

(which we call life)

Are not winners.

You can be a victim

Or

A sweet surrender.

Nothing more.

Nothing less.

-who are you?

[liah-li-blog]

Drizzle outside, drizzle inside

When autumn days come,

you know how it goes.

Eternal puddles, crispy air,

your shivers - outside is so cold and your home so warm!

They tell us to face the music.

And I tell you to face the fall drizzle.

Tilt your face to the angry clouds

and

close your eyes.

(maybe sadness can wash away something you do not need anymore).

They tell us to face the music.

I tell you to face the drizzle outside of you.

And then

be brave

and face that drizzle

Inside of you.

- it is okay to be sad

[liah-li-blog]

Funny stuff

Absent when required.

Refused when offered.

Because first was too painful to

accept second.

-that's love for me

[liah-li-blog]

Wolf or lamb?

I have my best clothes on me.

Which specifically means:

Shaggy jacket, so cool,

and red lipstick screaming

sin.

And standing at the corner of the street,

I hope that you notice me (the wolf)

And then that you notice,

That I am just lamb,

in wolf's cloak.

-seeking love