— & A BALANCING ACT ;

lisa ramirez community engagement and liaison officer. sixteen years sober and counting.

[liaisonramirez]

MEYER, STAN.

Stan held his notepad close to his chest as he half strode, half stumbled across the forests of Devil’s Knot. In truth, he had minimal thoughts regarding Brian. By the time he came to town, he had been around only a few months before the disappearance. The teacher had limited relation to the place itself, let alone one of its residents. But, it seemed to be the right thing to at least look like he cared, regardless of the truth of the matter. That and well, there was something about the feeling of a search party that intrigued him. The air felt palpable with emotions, as groups of roving searchers strode around their movements laced with a fervent belief that they would find something of use. However, as time went by, legs slowed, sighs multiplied, and the eyes that had been burning with fire and conviction were dying into the smouldering remains of doubt. 

As he peered out at the groupings, his dark eyes squinted and he bit his lip like an artist capturing a frame, though instead of drawing, he was jotting down notes with the fervour of a madman. Words, expressions, remarks on the location and atmosphere, all the tools for an author to paint their masterpiece. It was a long shot, but it seemed prudent to use this time not only to develop a well-meaning public persona but perhaps dredge up a new muse. 

The teacher had purposely set out on his business alone, not wanting many questions on his motivations, so he couldn’t resist a low sigh when a voice called out to him. With a quick flash of movement, he went from a hunched over, peculiar-looking specimen to a straight, charming young man (or so he liked to think). A smile flashed over his lips as he drew his gaze towards the woman, corners of his eyes crinkling at her concerning remarks. He was sure he’d seen her before, around town, but he certainly knew little about her, nor her name. 

“Ah…I appreciate the concern…but really, I’m quite alright, nothing I don’t expect around here.” He offers his words with a laugh and wave of the hand in polite dismissal, though the jumper he wore was of questionable quality and condition. His voice was surprisingly gentle and soft, and you could, should you know his job, quite easily see how he could enrapture youths to listen to him read stories for hours. 

After a moment, he stepped into stride with the stranger, offering a handout. “Wouldn’t mind some company though, gets a little creepy walking around here alone…thinking about what sort of macabre things could happen. Name’s Stan Meyer, I work at the Highschool.” 

Lisa took pride in all of the community engagement projects she partook in. She knew everyone, well, almost everyone. There was still people she knew of, but knew nothing about. Yet again, perhaps she knew no one considering someone she’d trusted had been convicted of a brutal murder. It made her question those around her; made her wonder if there were those who were still hiding unholy and unthinkable secrets. In her case, her damned sexuality was something she hid. If anyone found out, she wondered what it would mean for her career, or if it would matter at all. Still, the odds were stacked against her and she wasn’t willing to take that chance.

With every step she took, Lisa spoke a silent prayer. If she found something, or if anyone else found something, things would get bad. People would panic, that much she assumed, regardless of what was found. It was terrifying to think about, but they needed to uncover something. Anything would be better than searching all day to find nothing. At least, that was her opinion on things. If they found nothing, it meant that Brian could still, no, it meant that Brian was still alive. There could be no if’s, only certainties. Brian Goode was alive and would be found. End of story.

“I’m just checking in with everyone. I can’t have anyone pushing too hard. It’s looking like we’re going to be back out here soon enough.” The sun was getting close to setting and if they didn’t find anything by dark, they’d have to call it a night for everyone’s safety. It would only get colder and the human body just couldn’t take that kind of beating.

“Lisa Ramirez. I run community engagement around here and I’m running head on this whole thing,” she shrugged, not wanting to brag it. “Never knew a liaison in this town could be so busy. It’s not all it’s cut out to be.” It’d been fine before the disappearance, but no one was to blame for that... yet. “I take it you’ve heard about what happened in these woods a few years ago.”

[liaisonramirez]

DEERE, ELIAS.

In a town as small as Devil’s Knot, it’s inevitable that certain faces stick out and remain lodged in the memories of people that live there. Lisa Ramirez was one of those faces for Elias. Not because he was ever involved in any of her programs but rather because this case has brought her forward in a way that perhaps nobody wanted. It’s hard for Elias to imagine what it would be like to suddenly become the face of a search like this. Hopefully, he’d never have to know.

He smiled at her, doing his best to keep polite. She didn’t mean offense, though it still rankled. Elias knew his limits far better than anyone else in town and if he was there, he knew he was able to be. “Yes, I’m sure,” Elias responded simply, still smiling, though the undercurrent of steel in his voice was impossible to mistake. Don’t imply I don’t know what I am capable of, it said. Don’t push me on this.

“Coffee is fine,” Elias said. Truth be told, he kind of hated the stuff. The taste of it never appealed to him and after drinking it, it went through him like water. But to turn it down would be rude and manners were important during times like these. “Unless you can pave the whole search area, I’d settle for some company,” he joked, pushing forward again. Slower than before, perhaps, but still with the definite goal of helping.

She knew her limits, yet somehow she still managed to push past them in full force and determination. She had a job to do and if no matter what, she’d get that said job done. If it meant circling the woods all day to ensure her searchers were safe and somewhat sound, then she’d do just that. In Elias’ case, her worries came strong and concern came heavy. It was no secret he was at a disadvantage by comparison, but if he wanted to help, then she was in no place to tell him no.

“Okay,” she nodded, giving him a gentle smile despite still wondering if it was the right call. If something happened, no one would know until they quite literally stumbled across him. “It’s not so bad after a few cups. Might be more trouble than it’s worth,” she grinned, though she’d lost that side effect long ago. After years of chugging it down, her body had grown accustomed to the intake.

“I can stick around for a bit. I just need to check in with a few others in a bit.” She felt responsible for everyone in the search, but she couldn’t watch over everyone at every given moment. “So, besides the cold, how’s everything going?”

[liaisonramirez]

what were you doing last saturday?

"The same thing I was doing the Saturday before that,” she hummed, realizing how cold the words had left her lips. She was annoyed, not at the person across from her, but by the fact this was a waste of time. She had nothing more to give, yet it seemed like all everyone was doing was asking for more. She had to set up this or that, verbally dodge the reporters, keep up with AA, and tag along with whatever the mayor requested of her. If anything, she needed a break from the whole thing.

“AA meeting at the community centre. I basically spent my whole day there. It takes a lot to set up for those meetings. I have to organize the room, get the coffee ready, and make sure everything is in order before start showing up. I’d say the first members started coming in around six or a little after. People come in early to talk and drink coffee,” she shrugged, feeling like she was having to explain herself far too much. She understood that everyone would be questioned in hopes of finding something, but was there really another monster among them? Wasn’t Max enough for the town?

“The meeting started at eight like always. Nothing works better than routine,” she assured. “I’d say we wrapped up about nine, and I didn’t get home until close to eleven. It takes time to clean up and wash out the coffee pot and put the chairs back in place. Not to mention, people usually stick around for awhile after the meeting to talk.” She couldn’t recall what time she’d gotten home exactly, but her entire Saturday had consisted of AA. “If there’s anything else you need, you know where to find me.”

[liaisonramirez]

06 (ask meme)

how do you want to die?

“Can’t say I’ve thought too much about that,” she hummed smoothly. She hadn’t thought about death since her short time in Vietnam, but one thing hadn’t changed. “I guess if there’s anything I can say on it, it’s that I want to die with some kind of honor. Whether it’s the memory of how I best served my town or country, I just want to be remembered after it’s over.” As for the specifics, she’d never considered anything.

[liaisonramirez]

11

do you like someone?

“I don’t have time to worry about that kind juvenile stuff right now,” she replied, though she more than liked someone. “Anything else?”

[liaisonramirez]

01

do you have a good relationship with your parents?

“Quite difficult to have a relationship with two people you haven’t spoken to in years. I’d say I stopped talking to them even before I left for Vietnam back in ‘71. We were never close, so after the war, I didn’t bother trying to reach out. Sometimes I wonder if they even know I made it back in one piece, but parts of me know they wouldn’t care even if they did.” After they’d caught her with a female, they’d wanted to cut all ties, but at the age of sixteen, they had no other choice but to struggle through two more years of raising her. Once eighteen, they’d practically pushed her out the door and onto the warfront. “So, no. I don’t have a good relationship with my parents.”

[liaisonramirez]

20

where was the last place you made out with someone?

“Is this the sort of monotonous questioning we’ve stooped to? If I had to answer, which for the record, I don’t, I think it’d have to be my car? Late nights between the Mayor’s office and the station doesn’t really allow much time for that.”

[samxcamargo]

Don’t give up on the person you are becoming.

unknown (via samxcamargo)

[liaisonramirez]

ESPOSITO, FRANKIE.

There was a wryly amused smile that crossed Frankie’s face at Lisa’s words, but he didn’t say anything. She probably didn’t mean it humorously. Her sense of humor didn’t tend to be that dark. Still, he was amused at the ‘no use torturing ourselves’ comment anyway. If it had been another time he may have said something. Right now it seemed in bad taste, even to him…

He also kept to himself how much he didn’t believe Lisa was 'fine’. Frankie wouldn’t push that either. Hell, maybe she was fine besides being cold, and tired. Lisa was a tough woman. She’d been through a lot before. Would a rehash of a terrible memory really be what did her in? Right now? She was probably fine. For right now. “So, do you think there’s a point to being out here right now? If we’re all cold and tired?” For once Frankie didn’t mean that to sound like an asshole. He half hoped Lisa didn’t take it that way, but … he knew that was how it sounded.

It was just… a question. A little blunt, maybe. But a question anyway.

“I know how lost the town would be without me here, so I figured I ought to come,” Frankie said in a deadpan tone, pulling a cigarette and lighter out of his pocket. “I don’t actually have anything to do right now anyway, or later. Want to head to the bar after this? It might be a bit crowded…” Drinking seemed appropriate – alcoholic or non alcoholic – but Frankie had the feeling he wouldn’t be the only one to think that.

Did he really want to deal with the rest of the people in town even after this gathering was over? “The motel is empty, I might just head back there instead if you want to tag along.”

She wanted a lot to change, but everything was out of her control. She couldn’t change the fact that Brian was missing, or that they probably weren’t going to find him in the woods. She couldn’t change how nasty the cold was and how harsh it was to everyone in it. She couldn’t change the opinions of those who wandered around assuming he wasn’t there either. It was a twisted web of confusion they’d all been tossed into and found themselves stuck in, but there wasn’t a damn thing any of them could do about it. Until they found Brian, nothing would be clear.

“Of course there’s a point,” she exhaled, feeling guilty she’d ever suggested there wasn’t. If there was a chance they’d find Brian or something that could lead them to Brian, then it was more than worth the inevitable head cold they’d all end up with when morning finally came. “I’m not saying we’re going to find him,” she paused, words quiet, “but if we can find something that can give us answers, then yeah, there’s a point.” If anything was found, there was no promise that it would be in their favor, but it would be something. Anything was better than the nothingness they had now.

A quiet scoff was released at his words; it was expected and it helped a bit. She enjoyed his company, which was something that had even surprised her the first time she realized it. “I think it will definitely be crowded. Everyone has to go somewhere to warm up.” Even if she didn’t drink, she found herself at the bar quite often. It was a safe haven of course, which was rich for a recovering alcoholic. Besides, going on a night that many were feeling defeated probably wasn’t the best night to go anyway.

“Yeah,” she nodded, bottom lip snaking between pearly whites. She needed to rest before jumping back into work, but how did she do that when there was so much that needed to be done? “I’ll see what happens. I might have to head back to the Mayor’s office and see what we’re working with after the search ends. All work, no play.” She wished she could joke about it, but the past week had been draining. One could only imagine what the future would hold.

[principal-hawker]

Missing || Open

[liaisonramirez]

HAWKER, KEN.

A small smile wound its way onto the exhausted man’s face. Lisa was always a welcome addition to his day, even in the midst of such a terribly bleak one like today. She had her head on straight and kept everyone in line, something he sorely needed help with.

“Don’t shoot! Blame my misstep on the lack of sleep,” He stepped back, holding his hands high in surrender. “Please, fill on up.” At this point, Ken had been running on autopilot for so long he could have been sleepwalking. His feet were moving without a thought, his brain just telling him he needed coffee. But he wasn’t the only one. All of the people here needed it. They all needed a lot of things, really. But coffee was something tangible, something they all knew they could satiate themselves with. 

Ken’s eyes wandered over to the gathering news crews, groaning loudly. It had been a week. A whole week. Anyone who knew anything knew that at this point, it was more likely that they’d find a body rather than a child, but no one wanted to say it. No one wanted to believe it. If they said it, the notion became concrete. It became real. Hope would be lost, and their numbers would go down, and the chances of finding Brian went down to nearly zero. 

“Oh, you just gave me the best job you could’ve ever given me,” Ken grinned, miming rolling up his sleeves. “I might not be able to yell at our volunteers, but I can damn well yell at some reporters for ya.” It was a small relief, getting some of his frustrations out on the journalists looking to make a name for themselves off of someone else’s tragedy, but it got the job done. After a few moments of scaring off vultures, Ken returned to the station, this time checking that no one was in line before filling up his thermos.

“You know, that was pretty therapeutic.” He chuckled, the sound much darker and more hollow than usual. “Maybe I should add ‘yelling at intrusive journalists’ to my weekly activities.”

“We’ve got enough trouble as is, Hawker. I think the last thing we did is me holding you up at a coffee stand,” she joked, thankful that someone had brought a light sense of humor that wasn’t entirely condescending to the search. She liked Ken, perhaps more than she liked most of the people at the search, but it wasn’t like they were entirely close. Hell, truth be told, she worked with his father a lot more than him. They knew one another by association though, and that was more than enough for her. 

Nodding, Lisa stepped forward and filled her thermos, the smell of fresh (and strong) coffee filling the air. It warmed her with every inhale and she knew that this cup would be downed as quickly she’d downed the one before. “Hopefully we don’t run out. I hate that it’s so cold out, but there’s not much we can do about it, y’know? It’s this, or we don’t search at all, and I don’t think that’d be good for morale,” she admitted, feeling guilty to have suggested such a thing. There was a child missing and regardless of the weather, something had to be done about it, even if nothing was done at all.

Grinning once more, Lisa watched as Ken approached the lingering journalists that were brave enough to continue to inquire about the incident. After a few minutes and exchanged words with the principal, they didn’t seem so brave though. She appreciated his success in running them off, but she knew they’d be back, probably sooner rather than later. If they wanted a story, they’d find some way to dig it up, even if it almost killed them.

“Maybe. As long as this case stays open, I think you’ll get plenty of practice. You’d think that they’d have a little respect, seeing as everything that’s happened,” she trailed off, knowing that he’d pick up on the ‘84 flashback without explicit mentioning. No one wanted to remember that time. “We’ve been having problems since this whole thing got out. So, if you ever want extra practice, just stop by the office sometime and you’ll get your chance.”

[liaisonramirez]

GUZMAN, ARIADNE.

Realistically, Ariadne knew it was entirely possible that they had not, in fact, missed anything. That there was nothing to find — whisked away in the gentle autumn breeze, or that there’d been nothing there to start with. It wasn’t a game of Clue or a shitty mystery movie, they weren’t going to find notes taped to trees written in encrypted language. And there’s a certain hesitation that comes with her saying hopefully there was something. If they hadn’t found it —— which was worse? Carrying the accountability of being acutely you could have done more like the weight of the world on your shoulders, or knowing you were useless the entire time? That there was nothing you could do? 

So even though she likes Lisa, and trusts her, Ariadne keeps her mouth shut for once. Opinions — those she doesn’t know how to keep to herself. But the deeper, more intimate thoughts on tragedy … those might as well have been tucked safely in a vault. It’s easier to care as deeply as Ariadne does about the world around you if there’s less introspection involved in the whole ordeal. To look at things as they were: people that were sufficient, and people that needed help. Ariadne was capable, she was willing to be independent … ruminative thoughts were better reserved for comforting others than inflating her own worry. The people of Devil’s Knot, more often than not, needed help. And she was more than inclined to give it. 

“ I mean … as long as you weren’t expecting a carnival, we can look on the bright side and say the bar wasn’t lowered on expectations. ” They had been on her side, eternally determined to keep working until the problem was fixed. But this wasn’t something that could be shot out in one night, even she knew that … so the mood around the station had been a little deflated. Wordlessly, she passes her cup over to Lisa, offering the half consumed coffee to her. She could fix one thing in the moment, at least. “ I … don’t know, though. I — I agree that there’s … something that’s not … ” Of course, nothing about the situation was right, so she couldn’t exactly phrase it like that. Sentence is abandoned, and instead, she drills to the center of the sentiment. “ I just wish I could have been more helpful. Like … I wasn’t expecting to Nancy Drew the whole thing and be given the key to the city. ” She really always was. “ But … you know. ”

If Danielle was there, perhaps things could’ve been different. Wherever the detective was, she was missed, though Lisa would never admit it aloud. She trusted Ariadne, she did, but Danielle was her person and everyone needed their person in a time of sheer crisis. Looking around the darkening woods, Lisa released a quiet huff. She was frustrated with herself, but more so frustrated with the search itself. Why the hell did this have to happen? Why was the small town of Devil’s Knot being punished once more? Was it unfinished business from the tragic event of 1984, or was this something wildly unrelated? Swallowing down the growing questions, Lisa allowed her arms to fall to her sides, a silent sign of retreat from whatever poor emotions she’d let build within her. This wasn’t their fault. This was no one’s fault. Brian was okay. She had to repeat it all and continue with every step through the bitter cold.

Then again, what if this was their fault? What if there was something that could’ve been done in order to prevent Brian’s disappearance in the first place? Should his mother have watched over him a bit more securely, or should police have been more involved in what was happening in their community? “The turnout was good,” she replied, not sure what she was expecting. There were people who didn’t want to be there and they made that quite clear, but they’d still shown up and that was more than she could’ve asked for. Odds were, if they found nothing, another search party would be organized in an attempt to rake through the same woods they’d done before. It was a losing process, but they had to do something instead of sitting around and waiting.

“Look, we just have to keep looking. We can’t give up and that’s because we have a mother to look out for. If we give up, everyone else gives up. We can’t let that little boy slip through the cracks because we don’t want to keep looking,” she expressed, every word leaving a trail of existence against the cold air. “You’re doing all that you can and even more, officer. Don’t you think the doubles you work and the late nights you’ve helped me are showing that? Don’t stretch yourself too thin, alright? We need you on this case. I think you know that.” She was a valuable resource, even if she didn’t realize it.

[liaisonramirez]

ESPOSITO, FRANKIE.

He didn’t want to be here. He really, really didn’t.

The only real reason Frankie had shown up was because he decided it would look … suspicious if he didn’t. He didn’t need to give people any more of a reason to talk. So, he showed up – late. Alright, he’d only been there for about ten minutes. But he was here. No one could say he didn’t come. He showed up, and did a horrible job at feigning intrest in finding a little boy they were not going to find out here just wandering the woods like he’d lost track of time and forgot to come home or something.

Maybe the kid was dead, maybe he wasn’t – but he wasn’t going to be out here. Some would call that pessimism. Frankie liked to believe he was just being realistic.

His attention was drawn when he heard Lisa, turning to look over at his friend he gave something of an amused grin. “I’m fine,” Frankie said, as he walked over to her, “unless you’re giving me permission to leave. Then I’m freezing, and tired, and will probably collapse if I’m out here any longer…”

Of course he was probably doing a lot better than her, knowing Lisa she had been out here for hours. “How are you feeling? You’re not projecting are you?”

All hands were desperately needed on deck, even those that could’ve been pegged as useless and uninterested. She wasn’t sure where to put Frankie on the spectrum, but he’d showed up and that was more than could be said for a few others. In an odd sense, she trusted him, but in another, she knew him and knew better of something so juvenile and reckless. This wasn’t about trust though, no, this was about accountability and his presence was a fine act of that, even if he seemed entirely uninterested in the whole thing.

“We don’t have to be out here too much longer. Once the sun sets, we’ll have to call it a night. No use in torturing ourselves,” she started, though she easily cut herself off from such harsh words. It shouldn’t have been considered torture; they were searching for a good cause, but part of her knew they’d find nothing. Whatever had happened to Brian wouldn’t be solved as easily as stumbling through the woods. If it were that easy, they would’ve found him already.

Arms tightened around her chest at the question, one of assumption, but clearly based off fact. He knew her, but that didn’t mean she’d give him the truth. “Cold, tired,” she shrugged, “as is everyone else. Besides that, I’m fine.” She had to be fine, because her job didn’t allow her not to be. After the search was completed, she’d have to return to the Mayor’s office to put together some kind of formal speech that stated what they’d found, or what they didn’t find. Then, it’d be up to her to start another attempt.

“Have any plans for after this whole thing ends?” She could go for some food, but then again, it was hard keeping an appetite with so much stress. “Thanks for coming out, Frankie. I know this isn’t on your top ten list of things to do, but it’s appreciated.”

[liaisonramirez]

LEHMANN, ZIG.

          Rejoined with the search party, the sun sets hints at a day soon to close. Fatigue starts to settle, an extension of a boredom he could never mention. Not when he should be feeling the palpable tension, the high-strung stakes of a missing kid. But he’s not, wrung by the emotional toll, but instead anticipating the sweet of relief of buildings and road, a warm shower that washes away wasted time and looks forward to the blank slate of the next morning. 

         Even with his hands stuffed into the fleece-lined depths of his pockets, he moves with a uncanny balance, gliding easily over tripping hazards disguised as dormant branches and deceptively uneven ground. “Very cold.” He agrees, the way his entire face flushes is boyish, as if he’s a child who mistakenly went without a coat. Even bundled so tightly, his face still deceives. “I’ve got runner’s stamina, Ramirez. Could go all night if it was allowed.” He asserts with a grin that brings his teeth to his lower lip, a guard against the confidence that oozes with every word. It’s not a game, god-forbid anyone tarnish perfected melancholy with a smile. 

         Thankfully, the upturned wisps of his smile dither away, replaced by a concern that bring his brows together. “Are you doing okay?” It might have sounded patronizing said to anyone else, but there’s no inkling of exaggeration that would giveaway that he doesn’t actually care, and instead, he’s left with a genuine want to know.

Perhaps an unreasonable request would’ve been to do just that; go all night. The thought lingers in her mind for a few short moments, but anyone with a viable head on their shoulders knows that the request is impossible. Regardless of how badly they wanted to locate the child, searching all night wouldn’t do them any good. If the cold didn’t get them, then their lack of sleep and nutrition surely would. It was a tough pill to swallow for those eager to close the case, but even more so for the mother that awaited the results of the search.

“How many times have you said that before?” It was a playful remark, one that she could’ve probably went without knowing the actual answer to. "I wouldn’t say that too loud, though. Might gives the others an idea.” She couldn’t stop anyone from searching, but she could advise against it. Besides, what was the point in putting more people in danger?

Of course, the age-old question. She’d asked it a hundred times that night, but somehow this was the first time hearing it in return. Did the answer matter? Would it change anything for her or her placement in it all? Forcing down her desire to be truthful, the female stands a bit taller against the cold front and nods. “I think my biggest problem is this empty thermos. That, and I’m worried about what happens when this thing ends and we’ve got nothing.” If there was anyone she could painfully honest with, it was him.

[liaisonramirez]

WHERE: the woods.

TIME: 5:45 pm

OPEN TO: anyone.

The sun was disappearing and the daylight was fading, but the efforts of the search were still going strong. They’d go until there was no daylight left to protect them from the unwavering cold and one could only hope for a final Hail Mary of a miracle. It was human nature to wonder the obvious; to wonder if Brian was even in the woods or if whoever had taken him had thought better of it. After all, anyone who knew of the tragic ‘84 murder would know better than to fall back to the scene. Then again, what the hell did she know?

The cold was making itself comfortable within her stiffening body, but she refused to leave. She couldn’t walk away out of weakness, no, she’d faced worse than this in Vietnam. If she could survive that war, she could survive this. “Son of a bitch,” she mouthed, a cool, unexpected breeze rocking her to the core. No one would want to give up the search, but the odds were quickly stacking against them. They couldn’t search safely after dark and if they stayed out too long, they’d be useless in the days to come.

“Hey,” she called out, voice hoarse in comparison to what she’d expected. “Hey,” she repeated, this time a bit stronger than before. “How are you feeling? It’s getting colder out and I have to make sure no one is overdoing it.” Rich coming from someone who was doing just that.

[under-a-godless-sky-deactivated]

If a song i really like comes on, i will not hesitate to air guitar and swish my hair around pretending i’m on stage.

sorry not sorry.

[leohearts]

I have a big heart. I trust, I love, I miss, I believe with all I have, with all I am and sometimes it gets me in trouble. I’ve been hurt, let down, left behind and betrayed. But I never let it change me. I’m always going to be me and I’m always going to wear my heart on my sleeve.

Leohearts (via leohearts)

[liaisonramirez]

GUZMAN, ARIADNE.

OPEN / Cheeks were bitten red by autumn wind, and feet were aching from walking across uneven ground. The campground feels like territory she’s walked ten times over, and so does every other inch they were supposed to be canvassing. Part of her wants to go rogue – certainly if she walks with authority and badge gleaming on her chest, no one would stop her — but sensitivity stops her. She can’t imagine complaining to someone about why they can’t traipse on in there, because she knows, and the trauma isn’t hers to trivialize. There’s a scar over Devil’s Knot, and no matter how often she looks at it and attempts to tend to it … she’s too small, and it’s too big and runs too deep. It isn’t her cross to bear, no matter how deeply it affected her before she even step foot in town. 

She’s gazing at the treeline again, the mouth of the forest open wide and menacing, like it wants to gobble her whole. AND YET — as she has been almost all day the patches of forest she sees draw her closer, because it’s fucking useless what they’re doing. But still — she’s been here since the morning, like she had been for every other search, helping set up spots for coffee and doling out first aid kits in case of minor injury. Thank you for coming out. More useful than the phone calls, at least, were people showing an effort that wasn’t fear mongering. And still, even with traits of logical reason, she gets being scared. Lighting rarely ever strikes twice, and who’s to say the rules don’t apply to tragedy? 

She must have been idling for longer than intended, because she can feel the presence of someone closer to her, also still. She doesn’t know, as she turns, if they were even looking at her or not, but they’re facing one another now, and she has to say something. As a person that generally tried to be good, and as someone with even the slightest modicum of authority. “ Everything okay? ” 

As a resource herself, Lisa was being stretched painfully thin. If she wasn’t at the Mayor’s office trying to smooth over the talk, then she was at the police station or hosting a sobriety meeting. She needed to stay on top of her game if she wanted to help find Brian, but how could she be everywhere at once? How was she supposed to fight off every wandering journalist, but also ensure that her recovering companions were getting the support they needed too? It was a tough game to play, but she had no other choice but to go all in. If someone needed her, regardless of the hour or the day, she’d be there. She had to be there.

The liaison bounced from small group to group, checking in on those that were within range of her worrying ways. It was cold out, perhaps too cold out to be searching, but it a child’s life on the line and that trumped everything. Her once full thermos was now feeling empty as she held it to her slightly chapped lips. They were doing everything they could, but was it enough? Were there places they’d forgotten to check? Were there areas on the map that they’d left out, and that only certain locals would know of? Regardless of the answer, they were doing all that they could do, even if it felt like they weren’t.

Lost in her own head, Lisa paused to look at every person around her. They were scared, but they were present and that alone meant everything to her. No one wanted an ‘84 repeat, but no one could help it if that’s exactly what they found. A week had passed and everyone knew that even if Brian was trapped out in the cold missing, it was too much for a child to handle. Swallowing hard, Lisa pushed down the negative thought and stepped forward, stopped by the face to face interaction of a familiar (and friendly) face. “Depends. I’m freezing, I’m out of coffee, and I feel like we’re missing something,” she hummed, head shaking. “Other than that, yeah, everything is okay.” Except it wasn’t.