Saying this as a fan of Ribbit, I do think she crossed a boundary with Jax and didn’t realize, and unfortunately Jax’s ignoring led to a situation where they couldn’t actually talk things out properly. Like they had an argument but that isn’t talking things out properly, it’s yelling at eachother while emotions are high and somehow expecting things to get through properly.
I like to think that with Ribbit having grown up Mormon, perhaps the people she was around operated in the religion in a more cultlike mentality. After all, it’s considered normal for Mormon communities to excise anyone who leaves the faith, ignoring them entirely and acting as though they don’t exist. I know it’s speculation and headcanon at this point, but I can’t help but imagine that the adults Ribbit was raised around tended to do a lot of cultlike actions that - over time - sowed seeds of manipulation within Ribbit.
I think Ribbit had only just begun their journey of deprogramming by the time they had entered the circus, and thus they hadn’t fully unpacked everything they’d been taught by the time they’d have to try to acclimate to ANOTHER situation she didn’t want to be stuck in. I genuinely think that while in the circus she didn’t really have to think too hard or examine the things she thought were normal because they hadn’t had to think about those things prior to Jax getting there.
I think that for the others, Ribbit’s approach to showing friendship and trust was kind of normalized. They might’ve been put off, they might’ve even found her strange, but with the group that they had at the time, it’s hard to imagine that any of them really confronted her about it. Kinger was Kinger, his darkness aid likely not being discovered at the time. Ragatha was Ragatha, still people-pleasing until the cows come home. Kaufmo was Kaufmo, the funny guy, the laugher, having a good time and hanging out. I think Kaufmo least of all would want to confront her with how inappropriate her approach to getting others to trust her was.
I think Jax’s reaction to what happened was the first time she considered she might have been overstepping the entire time. I think that she also had the realization that the others she’d considered to be her friends - considered to maybe trust her - had likely only divulged things out of obligation or a want to be perceived as friendly/trusting. I think she might’ve felt a growing guilt about it and it contributed to her abstraction.
All of this to say, I don’t think it’s fair at all to blame ANYONE for anyone’s suicide (or in this case, abstraction) unless that was their actual intention. It sucks that some people make their intentions clear, but we all have seen that Jax is not and was not one of those people. We literally got into Jax’s head during the finale and were explicitly shown that Ribbit’s abstraction was not an intentional effect of what all was happening.
Of course, none of this is to say at all that what happened is any one person’s fault. I don’t think this situation calls for fault, honestly. I think it’s the messy collision of two worlds that could’ve been good together but went a path that was very bad for the both of them. There’s always a world out there where things went fine.
Jkjk But yeah that is essentially what I've been saying. Ribbit's situation was a tragedy, and no one can really be blamed for her Abstraction--and blaming Jax for it (and likening it to driving to suicide) is dangerous because the sentiment says "If you distance yourself from someone who broke a boundary with you and/or have an argument with them about it, and they make an attempt on their lives, it's your fault."
Which is. A dangerous rhetoric to parade around.
I think people fail to realize that Ribbit's Abstraction was the reason Jax became a horrible person. S/he wasn't a terrible jerk before then. It was Ribbit's Abstraction that broke Jax and made her/him into a terrible jerk.
This is important to remember because people seem to think that like. Jax was ALWAYS this way when s/he wasn't. S/he was just a person with some trauma and issues but overall like. Not malicious or terrible? But people love to make it seem like s/he was always a jerk/god-awful person and could NEVER be redeemed because s/he was ALWAYS this way and thusly can never change or be better.
That's not how people work, guys. Everyone has their reasons to act the way they do.
I DO love your thoughts about Ribbit and her Mormon backstory though, that makes so much sense! Like the realization that she might be doing this to everyone ending up with her self-isolating? Delicious. Horrible. Give me More Angst.
I also think that it plays into why she took Jax's distance so hard, too. Your line, "It’s considered normal for Mormon communities to excise anyone who leaves the faith, ignoring them entirely and acting as though they don’t exist." especially gets me when you realize that Jax may have unintentionally been triggering her and her Mormon/Religion Trauma. Maybe Ribbit convinced herself that she was "shunned" for her mistake. UGH My heart...
I don't expect Jax to have known that (I sure as hell didn't know that!) So overall it was just. A TERRIBLE situation all around. God...
It really makes you wish someone had noticed they were fighting and at least try to mediate.
