Tense looks are shared behind Lup’s back as Taako goes up in a beautiful pyre over the water. She’s not wrong, after all. Even though they’ve known eachother for a decade at this point, their situation is so unique that despite spending the past 11 years together, everything feels so impermanent that there’s still a distance between them that wouldn’t exist, had they simply been friends for 11 years in one place.
Magnus makes a silent promise to himself that this year, he’s going to get to know Lup better- and hopefully, by extension, get to know a little more about Taako, too. He comes up beside her, aching to put a hand on her shoulder or arm or something, some kind of physical comfort, almost more for his sake than hers. But it doesn’t feel appropriate.
“By this time next year we’ll have him back,” he says, even though he doesn’t know that, and he knows she doesn’t know that, either. None of them know for sure, and it’ll be a festering ache in the back of their minds all year. He looks down at Lup, and then back out at the pyre, where the flames have climbed twenty feet. “What do you need right now?” he asks her. “Name anything. Something I can do.”
she knows she’ll struggle this year, as much as lup is sure that she can manage a smile and pretend nothing is wrong until the weeks creep closer to reset — closer to the unsteady feeling in her gut that he might not come back — but she stops thinking about that. stops thinking about the thoughts that would drag her down in the months to come. they could take her down later, for now she had to find a distraction — grieving would get her no where.
‘ ——— i could go for something violent. or a nap for six months. both of them sound highly tempting. i’d go for some cuddles but that useless gay is out there and victim to temptation number one : violence. ‘ she heaves a breath in before arms cross over her chest and lup spins herself to look at magnus before taking a quick glance back at the flames that were the remnants of her brother ( in this world, she has to keep reminding herself ).
‘ —— i could honestly go for a cry. ‘ her voice is small, only audible from the quiet this world brought them all. but she takes a slow inhale again and forces back the urge. ‘ i don’t want to though. ‘