“Never,” she sighed, rolling her eyes, “I make it a habit not to bring up women’s ages. I’ve heard it’s tacky.” She didn’t really have any idea how old Lidia was, she’d just been assuming she was older than her. “Since college,” Sage sighed, a frown pinching her forehead. It made her sound like a shitty person, she was sure, and she’d picked up on the shift in Lidia’s voice. Granted, she wasn’t perceptive enough to really understand what that shift meant. She liked to hope that it wasn’t Lidia judging her, and she had a nagging feeling that was, in fact, the case. “I don’t know, I’ve just…I don’t like to take the holidays for myself, I guess.” She shrugged, running a hand across the back of her neck. “I mean, people have families, you know? People have kids and husbands and wives that they want to spend holidays with. I don’t. I mean, I’ve got River and Grace here, but my parents are still over in Tennessee. So I don’t see why I shouldn’t be the one taking the shifts because like…I don’t have kids.” It had seemed a selfless thing to do at the time, but now that Sage thought about it, the more it seemed like she was neglecting her own family. She felt another sudden flash of regret race through her chest, and she brought her right hand up nervously to rub at it. “You don’t have to,” Sage assured her, brow still pinched in thought, “I mean, they’re not your parents, you know? It should probably be my responsibility.” She tried to speak to them when she could, at the very least. She’d call them often, and they’d have phone and facetime conversations, but she knew they’d like to have her home at some point. “Somehow, I doubt that happening. People live off coffee,” she said, laughing for perhaps the first time throughout the exchange.
She felt herself swell, shoulders rolling back and lungs filling with air before she abruptly deflated. “You know…fair. I couldn’t do it. I could try, but I couldn’t do it.” Lidia was shorter than her, sure, but that didn’t mean anything. With zero training, Sage couldn’t make anyone but maybe a kid go somewhere they didn’t want to. And it would have to be a toddler at that. “I’m not –” she began, before she felt herself cut off with a sigh. “I’m not trying to be high and mighty. I’m not. That’s not who I am. I’m just saying you need to tell me if something hurts. Because…because…” She tried hard to think of a reason, any reason that Lidia should tell her. The obvious, of course, being that she was a doctor, but that excuse felt vapid and stupid. “I don’t know why, okay? Because I want you to.” That was the truth,at least. If Lidia was hurting, Sage wanted to help. Not only because she was a doctor, but because she considered Lidia a friend. She felt her cheeks flush with color again, and Sage cleared her throat uncomfortably, ducking her head. “I’m not – I don’t…” She fumbled with her words, giving up with a small, helpless groan as she tossed her hands up. “You’re probably just teasing me but I don’t – I won’t just do things so I can see you…see you naked.” She ground out the last part of her sentence with obvious effort, the bright red flush spreading down her chest. “No, that’s okay,” she sighed, shooting a glance to her kitchen, “I’ve got leftover stuff here. But uh…if you wanna eat meat, you’ll have to order something. I actually don’t eat it.” She waited for the stifled laughter or the incredulous glance. People reacted differently to her vegetarianism. Stifling a yawn in the crook of her arm,Sage shot the other woman a glance, shrugging her shoulders. “Okay, up to you. I’m good though, I don’t take up much space.” She gestured to the corner of the couch she was currently curled in, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lips. “But if you wanna get comfortable, offer still stands.” She stayed silent then, taking in the documentary, relatively rapt with attention. “Hm?” she said, once she realized she was being spoken to, “Oh! Oh, uh…well. I watch a lot of this, stuff about space. Um…I’ll watch some documentaries about space, some about crime, some about old stuff about America. Uh…anything, really. I don’t know. Uh…I like Breaking Bad too. I’ll watch that. It just kinda depends on what I’m in the mood for.” She stretched her shoulders, her arms going above her head as she stifled a groan. “What…else do you wanna know? I don’t…I mean. I don’t really know where to start…talking about myself. I’m not really that interesting.”
“Your parents have kids though. You’re their kid.” She remarked softly, smiling tightly once more at the other. She wasn’t trying to imply that Sage’s actions were inherently bad but Lidia just felt for the other and her work focus. Lidia would have given anything to return to two parents that longed to see her. She would have made so many plans to ensure she saw them but perhaps she could only acknowledge that because of the shitty parenthood she’d experienced. “It should probably be your responsibility but I’m not all war wounds and death glares. I never had any siblings. Never had much of a family in the way that I’m sure you do.” She admitted, realising that she was talking about herself but she’d put that down to the relaxed environment and blood loss. There were so many memories of her childhood where she wouldn’t see her parents for days. Not by choice. Her father was never there and when he was he was a whirlwind of self-loathing and clenched fists. Her mother may have been physically present in the home but the light in her eyes died long before Lidia was born. Just once she would have enjoyed knowing what a hug felt like without the sound of her mother sobbing or the stink of liquor on her breath. Just once she’d have prayed for her father to call her his little girl but he’d just deemed her as a mistake.
“I get it. It’s because you’re a medical professional and you feel a lot about people who are injured because we both know how committed you are to your job. I will tell you if shit gets really bad.” She sighed and tilted her head a little, letting her eyes close for just a moment or two. “I wanna say that I promise. But I ain’t much for promises.” But the entire moment was salvaged by the heat creeping along Sage’s skin. It made Lidia smile even wider, knowing that she could still have quite a fun effect on the other. It wasn’t like she tried to wind Sage up but ever since they’d met it seemed like she was pretty talented at it. “I don’t look that bad naked. Don’t get so worried about it.” She continued to tease before settling back. “Oh you’re a vegetarian. I too like to lick lettuces every now and then.” She was entirely joking and had no prejudice about Sage’s chosen dietary lifestyle but Lidia loved steak too much. Only good steak though. “Space. Able to make you feel quite small while also feel like you’re educating yourself to feel close to whatever is out there and crime documentaries are often sensationalised from the one’s I’ve experienced.” It wasn’t like she was speaking from experience or anything on the topic. “Breaking Bad is the guy in underwear that makes drugs right? I’m sure it’s more than that but I’m not much of a television person. I don’t get much time to just kick back and relax so maybe this is a blessing in disguise.” She tilted her head back and lazily watched the movement of Sage’s body. She sort of wanted to copy the stretch but knew that Sage would ruin her for disturbing her shoulder. She’d take medical advice just once. “Your own opinion on yourself is subjective, Sage. You’d be surprised how much interest people find in other people’s stories. You’re a doctor. A sister. A daughter. A friend to a lot of people I assume. You’ve probably been someone or multiple people’s lovers. Each day you live has its own narrative. So....you’ve gotta answer the real questions here and in response you get to ask me one question. That’s fair right?” She offered before rubbing her hand on her stomach. “What’s one thing in your life you couldn’t live without?”