( Emma D’arcy, 32/450, Jamie Vanderbilt, non-binary, they/them ) Underneath the sparkling sky, did you see EMMA D’ARCY being tipped by the Cauldron? No, that's just JAMIE VANDERBILT, who is the COMMANDER OF THE ARMIES from DAY. I heard that on most days they're LOYAL and PROTECTIVE but if you catch them on a dark night, they can be STUBBORN and RIGID. But if you really get to know them, you'll know that they vibe with LONG NIGHTS TURNED INTO MORNINGS, SLEEPLESS NIGHTS, TRAVELING THROUGH COURTS UNNOTICED.
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BASICS
FULL NAME: Leige Jamie Vanderbilt
AGE: 450
COURT: Day Court
GENDER: non-binary / transmasc
PRONOUNS: They/Them
SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bisexual
TITLE: Liege and Commander of the Armies
FACECLAIM: Emma D’arcy
Ever since they were a child, Jamie felt simply different. There was an itch in them to break out of all things imposed by their family. Stealing their brother’s clothes, refusing to let the maids do their hair and putting them in corsets, they spent their childhood running away and trying their hardest to not be seen if it was not how they wanted to be seen. Jamie got themselves in all sorts of trouble, definitely not a favorite in their father’s eyes who wanted his eldest daughter to be an example for the youngest. That was never going to be Jamie.
When the High Lord of the Day court passed and it was time for the crown to choose the next High Leige, Jamie felt it was their time. They deserved it and they knew it. All these centuries being told what to do, forced into roles they refused to follow, they had to count for something.
But the crown chose Talia.
Growing up Talia was the only member of their family who understood them. She was supportive, always taking in the Lady duties herself that Jamie rejected and they protected each other. Talia wanted the crown to go to Jamie, they knew this, but when the crown went to her, their own frustrations clouded their mind, not seeing that if she was the high ruler, it meant that they could have the freedom they so desired. She wasn’t going to force them into anything but they couldn’t see that.
Jamie packed their things and left the court without a single word to anyone and got lost in the woods. If they couldn’t find freedom within their own family, then they’d make their own freedom on their own. Away from everyone.
Wandering about, they found themselves in the training grounds in Dawn, sneaking in and seeing Elian, the commander of the armies of said court, training and caring for his men. It felt like the family they were never part of. After days of watching, of course Elian found them and offered them proper training, something Jamie wanted to do their whole life but it was frowned upon by their father. Whether Elian knew they weren’t from Dawn or not, Jamie never found out.
Jamie cut off their hair and donned an armor and for the first time, they felt like themselves.
Jamie was still shaken up by the after effects of such a dramatic revelation. They could do with less theatrics than this and have these enemies, the Asteri or whatever they're called, just face them, but here they all were still with no powers and no real answers. Trapped in an unknown land.
Finding Tarik in the aftermath felt like a breath of fresh air as everyfae around them were checking on their closed ones. They had already made sure that Talia was safe and guarded so Jamie made their way to the Spymaster and Lord. "This is getting more insane as time goes by. I'm still all out of sorts, lost on what to do." They admitted. Jamie was doing everything they knew they could. Protect their sister and the inner circle by keeping watch over them and try to maintain good relations with other courts but there was still this feeling that not everyfae was being honest here.
she understands the distrust, and she can stand behind wanting answers. but she doesn’t stand behind blaming starlight for things when there is no proof. “you do not know that. you are accusing them of risking us when it could have happened even without them coming to winter. you do not know.” zaina repeats. “they could have stayed here, and whatever thing is doing this to us all could still have done the same thing.”
“what makes you think they had a choice? what if the reason they came was not their own choice but something forced them? and the same thing that has been behind this, even if they were who removed the magic hiding them, what if they gave starlight no choice?” zaina counters. “if roles were reversed, if the day court was hiding for centuries due to some unknown, then something forced you all out of day, brought you to another court, held you hostage when you knew nearly no one, and then dragged everyone back to your court? but your court had nothing to do with it, had no choice in it, did not cause it. would you find it fair for others to blame you with no knowledge of how things occurred?”
"It's contrafactual now, isn't it? We'll never know what could or would have happened if they weren't there. But they were, and here we are." It was just a guess, what could have happened. "But they have. willingly or not, they did put us at risk. We were in Winter for a month and still didn't know who they were. That really doesn't rise any alarms for you?" Jamie asked genuinely. They weren't saying they were guilty but they did have a responsibility that wasn't going to be fix with a comfortable accommodation and pleasantries. And the lying, the betrayal. It was too much.
"Wait— do you know something I don't? Because that sounds like you have more information than the rest of us do." Jamie pulled back and squinted, a bad feeling rising in their chest. "Are you hiding things from me as well? I thought we were friends." There was hurt in Jamie's tone, disappointment all over their face. "I would actually find it fair if other faes blamed us for the loss of their own because it would have still been something we, our curse brought on them. And I'd own up to it and take responsibility and I would definitely not act like the only victim here. But that's just me." Jamie turned around and left, needing to step away from this conversation to think about all of this.
CASSANDRA HAD EXPECTED SOME JUDGMENT. What she did not expect, though, was for Jamie to throw this entire thing on her. Well, her and Starlight, but they've been rather interconnected - one did not go without the other, anymore, unless she deserted into another court which she'd never do. Not even for a mate, if the Mother ever graced her with one. It wasn't the court of Starlight that had done it - it wasn't them that had caused it, either. This thing, whatever it was, it would have attacked them either way - even if Starlight was not violently ripped away from it's own territory and cast into the court of Winter.
ah, yes - they did not know that.
"Did it occur to you that we did not come willingly?" she spoke, voice quieted down to a seething whisper. "We received no invitation, so how could the sentries of the Winter court allow us in for the ball? We were cursed in the same manner as you have, so whoever had done this... they'd already known about us. You think you are hurting now, but our betrayal runs deeper - if a traitor is not one among us, then it is one from the only court that's been our friend for fifteen millennia. That kind of betrayal hurts more than you can imagine." she whispered out.
this was going too far.
"If you wish to be miserable, then it is on you. I wanted to apologize and make you feel as comfortable as you could given the situation, make your court - every court - feel welcome and provided for, but if you wish to mope then you are welcome to do so. But, do not blame Starlight for something that is not our fault. We are being targeted as well - do not forget that."
"How can it ever occur that to me if I just found out you even exist as a court, Cassandra?" Jamie said through greeted teeth. They didn't want to make a scene but the sudden winnowing, the recent loss in their army, the month trapped in Winter— they didn't know who they could trust anymore. "And why should I even believe you when you've lied to me all this time? We were in Winter for an entire month and not one of you said anything."
At her indignant, Jamie scoffed, shaking their head and looking away. Hearing Cassandra talk about betrayal when she's done the same thing to them was rich. "I think I can imagine how much a betrayal as such could hurt." Mope? So now they should be grateful too? "You say I want to be miserable as if it was a choice. How am I suppose to feel after losing someone from my court, from my own army? Happy? Leave the pleasantries for the High Lieges, I do not need it." Jamie stepped back, ready to follow the Day court so they could make sure everyone was settle.
Juliana hadn't seen Jamie since they'd left the Dawn Court to return home to Day. Most of their training had been from both them and Elian and it was those moments that she'd cherished forever. They'd made her stronger, smarter, and feel more safe. With all of the shifting between courts and magic being stolen, Juliana had been so busy worried about her High Lady. She could barely think straight. And there was only one person that somehow managed to distract her with training. It has always helped. Finally spotting their short hair, a smile reached her face. "Jamie, do you have some time? I remember training in Dawn had always eased my head. I was hoping we could do a little sparring or something? It might help me talk to the High Lady with a more level head."
Seeing Juliana approach them brought a quick smile to their face. It brought them such relief to know that they had so many fae they knew and trusted close by, especially in this circumstances. "You are in luck, I have my sword with me." They responded, following after her to the training grounds. "What do you need to talk to Zaina about? Perhaps I can help. She's easy to talk to, don't be nervous. You can tell her anything." Of all the time Jamie's known Zaine, not once they felt like they couldn't talk to the High Lady. She had always been very approachable, even now when they weren't totally agreeing on things, they knew they could speak their mind.
working towards solutions is more productive than worrying over her love life. even if it is a bit distracting. but she does agree that speaking with talia would be beneficial. speaking to as many of the other rulers as she can — again, in some cases. “i intend to speak to the other rulers as well. i want everyone working together.” she sighs at their words, shaking her head. “we don’t know why they came to winter, nor why they came out of hiding. it’s a major accusation to say they’ve put us at risk when we don’t know who or what is behind any of this. we likely would have been just as at risk in winter had they remained here, and we also do not know why they left home. they may not have had a choice in leaving, and they did not have the choice in returning with us all, the same as we had no choice.” she will not be talked into believing otherwise until she hears the starlight court’s side of things. zaina understands. the deaths, the horror of seeing the deaths. she’s seen enough death in her life. but she will not blame anyone if there is no proof.
The High Rulers working together was something Jamie could get behind, or at least as many as they trusted but they were still weary of Starlight. Even though they trained in Dawn and they made them a good fighter, their politics and everything they learnt about them were intrinsically from Day and their parents and that's where their views deffer from Zaina's. "Whether they did it intentionally or not, coming to the festivities in Winter put us all at risk." That was how Jamie saw it.
"I can understand being protective of your court and doing everything in your power to protect your fae. Even hiding from all of Prythian. But if they were so worried about being found out and were safe here, hidden... why come to a celebration in the main land? Why not stay hidden if being discovered was so dangerous? Why bring the danger to the rest of us?" Jamie was giving them the benefit of the doubt about being behind all of it but they were responsible, in a way.
florencia has been doing her best to explore without running into too many people. as far as anyone was concerned, she was just a member of summer’s army, formerly a librarian. she could explain away random knowledge, as well as her ability to actually fight. and if questioned if she’s discovered… well does anyone trust strangers?
“you deserve the position. you know all the secret ways around your court. who better to lead the armies defending it, than the person who knows how outsiders might sneak in?” she shrugs. she misses getting to sneak through day to see halo, and retrieving things for jamie had been a fun exercise in stealth for her. “wonderful. because as far as anyone is concerned, i’m just a former librarian who joined summer’s army. so librarian me cannot sneak into anything.” she says softly so no one near could hear her but jamie.
"All of Day's secrets aren't doing me any good here, sadly so I'm barely breaking even right now." This was not how Jamie imagined becoming a commander and with a death toll already under them, it was weighing on them. The self doubt, insecurities all piling up all the time. Still, they tried their best and was vigilant constantly. No one was catching them off guard again.
"A former librarian huh? That's what you went for?" Jamie chuckled and nodded. "Librarian it is then. I'll confirm your cover if anyone asks, don't worry." It was a promise they intended to keep but Florencia knew that already. As they kept walking down the street, they saw a bench straight ahead and nodded towards it for Florencia to follow them so they could sit there. "Are you alright after the winnowing?" They asked, following it up with, "Have you managed to find out anything at all?"
☆ﾟ*·ﾟELIAN'S WAY OF processing information was different than most Commanders. He understood that war, fighting, and death was a part of his job. But if you didn't make something fun, your entire life would be focused on the seriousness of the matter. He'd gained the position because of his temperament, his way of being able to understand all sides of a situation, and simply the fact that when he got angry, it was justified. "The problem with this situation, Jamie, is that we do not know why they have hidden themselves. From what I understand, an external force was behind this entire situation, and it very well might have been one that put Starlight in severe danger. We have no information and that is not for us to demand or expect. They will tell us when they are ready, and unfortunately, we have to accept that." Elian knew that Jamie was frustrated. He knew that most of the other courts were, but he also knew that it was important to remain levelheaded to be a sounding board for anyone who might need it.
Sighing softly, Elian knew he'd said the wrong thing, but it hadn't been his intention in the slightest. "It was not meant to be funny like that, more in the sense that maybe their training should've been slightly better. And as a second in command, it was their job to ensure their high ruler and themselves were safe. None of this was your fault. You're not expected to watch over them like a hawk. They should've known better. They should've been checking every corner." Elian knew that the emotions were high and it would be difficult to explain how he was thinking and help ease frustration. "They weren't just your second. They were the entire court of Day's second. Take a moment and remember how others feel. How does Talia feel? Right now, she needs you to protect her, not worrying about someone who hasn't made it with us here." Shaking his head, he reached over and rested his hands on their leg. "You are a Commander for a reason. I'm not saying this because I trained you, but because you wanted it. You fought for it. You deserve every second of this job. Don't let this one death change that."
"If they were in such great danger, why didn't they remain here, then? That is what I keep wondering. Why put us all in danger by coming to Winter when they know they are in danger." Jamie retorted, frustration seeping from them. "I'm not saying it was intentional but they were careless and we paid for it." The Commander stood from their seat and started to pace a little, shaking their head. If only whoever or whatever was behind this would face them. But they were cowards playing games instead, that was what they were dealing with.
"I don't feel guilty but I feel responsible for my fae in arms. I'm sure you would feel the same if it was Juliana who fell." Even though Jamie didn't know their second in command well, in fact, it was no more than the mere weeks they had been trapped in Winter, they still felt responsible, even for Apollo who hated their guts. "Talia is protected, I saw to that. I'm not worried about our second. I'm angry. I'm angry about a festivity turned into a blood bath and we had no way of protecting our fae and we are still unprotected." Perhaps Elian was right about one thing. Perhaps Jamie's anger and pursuit of justice was exactly what Day needed in a commander right now.
☆ﾟ*·ﾟTHE HEART WAS a fickle thing, the kind of thing that could surprise you at every turn. Meeting them was one of those moments. Nothing in Kenna's life prepared her for the moment she'd pinned them down in the training arena and every wave of emotion that flushed through her was a positive one. All her life, she'd focused on her job, being part of her court's inner circle, training, becoming as strong as she could be, trying to live up to the color of her fiery red hair. And then, they practically flopped into her life. She couldn't stop thinking about them, no matter what she did. Every inch of their glorious face was imprinted into her brain at all times. That face distracted her and yet fueled her at the same time. She knew that the harder she fought, the stronger she got, and the more she believed, one day, there was a possibility that they could be together.
But now, with the courts dropped in a location that Kenna had only known of in stories, she was more than confused. Her messy red curls seemed even more unruly than usual. She liked to believe that her hair held her emotion. It got curlier and frizzier with her level of stress or worry. And the worry was high. Not only did she not know where she was, but her worry laid with much of her High Lady. She wanted to protect her with every ounce of her being, but she couldn't stop worrying about Jamie. They were nowhere to be found. And now, with her High Lady wanting her close, protecting her just in case, it was even more difficult to sneak off and find them.
Both Kenna and Omar were asked to be on constant call should their High Lady need them, and in this moment, she hated that fact. Because the longer she waited, longer she worried about the one that had her heart, the more stressed she became. It would mess with her duties, with her intensity, and with her ability to protect with the utmost integrity and ability. She hated that it'd come to this, that her feelings could impact her work balance as much as it did. But Jamie had stolen every inch of her heart and she didn't want it to stop.
As she walked through the hallways, she spotted Omar speaking with her High Lady, Kenna took this as a moment to sneak off. She slipped through the hallways, asking everyone she could where the Day Court was staying. With the information now relayed, her speed increased. Finally finding the door, she knocked, praying to the Mother that they were in there. The moment she saw their face, her entire body sank. Her shoulders relaxed and a breath escaped through her soft lips. Hearing Jamie's voice, Kenna shook her head, melting into the forehead kiss and hugged them tightly. Breaking away for a moment, she pushed a strand of light blonde hair out of their face. "No, no, I wouldn't do that to you. I'd fight through death to come back to you. Don't you ever worry. And if fate shall have it, I would take you with me. Fear not, my love. I'm here," Kenna's voice was soft, gentle, and breathing lightly on their lips. Even though the redhead wanted nothing more than to kiss them, she didn't need to, because in they stood there in each other's embrace.
For a moment, Jamie just held her and watched her while she spoke. They were so relieved that she was alive that nothing else mattered in that moment. No curse, or hidden court, not even the fact that her High Lady would probably have their head if she saw them. "I will take that as a promise, little soldier." Finally, a smile curled on their lips and they relaxed as the fear washed away. Their problems might not be solved but she was here now.
Jamie looked sideways to check that the corridor was empty and dragged her inside Day's quarters. There was no way Jamie was going to share a room with Apollo because they feared they wouldn't wake up alive the next morning so they managed to get the smallest chambers for themselves where they walked Kenna to with an arm wrapped around her waist, closing the door behind them. They guided her and sat her down on the bed, sinking down on their knees in front of her and taking her hands into theirs, kissing her knuckles before resting their forehead on her thighs. "I missed you." They whispered muffled into her clothes.
When they lifted their head and looked up, she looked as beautiful as ever and Jamie bit their bottom lip, letting out a soft chuckle. They were so lost for her and the commander knew it only meant trouble for them both but that was a thought for another time. "How are you? Are you alright? Were you hurt in the winnowing? What happened in Autumn?" Jamie asked, they wanted to know everything they might have missed and especially make sure she was alright.
she is glad that jamie came to her court and trusted them, that they are friends now. she wants jamie to be happy, and she will do what she can to ensure that they are able to find happiness. “i am honoured that we have been able to be a part of your journey. it is you who have made yourself who you are, though. we just had the honour of getting to be a part of that journey,” she smiles softly. “you are going to do great things.” she says. she shakes her head, “i’m hoping to speak to the starlight court’s high lady, and perhaps one of their commanders… but in the meantime, we’ve been looking for any information we can to learn more about the court and explore what we can. but… their people seem happy. that is a good sign, i believe.”
They moved into a more strategic conversation, something Jamie is more cmfortable talking about because that's what they know and what they've been prepared for and they listen, nodding as they think. Talia should talk to the High Liege of Starlight as well. Perhaps they should go together, take the scary High Lady of Autumn with them too. "Talk to Talia. Take her with you." They suggest. "In fact, take as many High Lieges you trust as you can. I still don't trust them, no matter how happy their faes might seem. They put us all in risk by coming to the Winter festivities with the rest of us, Zaina. If they wanted to stay hidden to protect themselves, that's alright but they should have stayed hidden then." Their tone very cut throat. Jamie can't erase the body of their second, Talia's look of horror. The screams. At this point, they don't care if they're good or bad. They are responsible in a way.
☆ﾟ*·ﾟELIAN LISTENED TO Jamie's concerns, completely understanding both sides of the equation. When his own High Ruler had wanted to stay in the palace, he didn't think it was the best idea, but he trusted Zaina, and always wanted to do what she thought was best. He knew he could still provide his opinion but in the end, Elian would protect her, no matter what. "I see both sides, Jamie. I know you want to protect her, and you have every right to do so, but think of it the opposite way. What if you could be so close to all of the action that you'd get every secret? By staying in the palace, we have access to the staff, run of the corridors, and even the delivery fae. Trust goes both ways. And if we show the Starlight fae that we trust them, they're more likely to trust us." Elian wanted to always believe there was good in others, even if it was difficult to choose it. Because as Commander, his job was to fight, and there wasn't always a reason to fight.
Elian reached forward, lightly placing his hand on their arm, a comforting gesture, that in a fatherly manner was meant to soothe and comfort other fae. "You have my condolences for the loss of your second. I must admit, they may not have been the best second if that was the result of them leaving their High Ruler." He hadn't meant to laugh, really, but the idea was funny. "Surely you have a better suited fae now? Between the two of you, no matter where your High Lady chooses to stay, you can be there for her." He wished he had all of the advice, because the fatherly instinct in him wanted to, but sometimes it just wasn't clicking the way it needed to. "You're slightly safer in the palace than out in a town you don't know. At least here, there are other commanders, guards, and members of your court. In an inn, you're separated."
To be perfectly honest, Jamie was a over having to depend on other courts for their safety. It did them no favors in Winter and fae lost their lives while everyone trusted their court. They did nothing to protect the rest of them and now with Starlight? "If they don't want to trust us, fine. We weren't the ones hiding for centuries and deceiving other courts. By protecting themselves they put us all in danger at the Winter festivities and a lot of good did to stay there." Jamie was frankly angry and frustrated at this point. Their elbows digging into their knees as they lent in and rubbed their hands over their face.
A frown formed on Jamie because— what was funny about losing a commander? "They were surely onto something if their murder was a warning. I don't see it as a laughing matter, Elian. And it was under my command. Not even a month into it and I already lost my second." Jamie snorted a laugh about the better suited second. "I don't know how it can be of any use to have a more capable second when he hates me and thinks that my job should be his. Maybe he's right too." They were still not convinced about any of them staying in Sterallia but Jamie had no choice. "Because a palace full of commanders worked so well last time." Sitting back in the arm chair, Jamie stretched their back, cracking their neck, their face hardened since before they all arrived in Winter. Something had changed within them.
after everything, callum had decided that he was sticking close to those he knew he could trust, he wanted to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, he prided himself in it, even, but there was so much at stake now and so he was choosing to play his cards a little more carefully. he had been meaning to meet up with jamie since their celebrations at winter, and now since they had officially become the new commander of armies in day it felt as good a time as ever to see them. he was grateful to hear that they were there as well to help zaina through the insanity in winter, strong ties between courts was the only way they'd be able to make it through all this, the man strongly believed that to be true, and he was trying to hold onto it.
once he sees them his smile widens, picking up his pace to meet them half way. "i've been meaning to catch you! new commander of day, huh? congratulations, truly, i'm happy for you. I would've come to tell you sooner, but...well..." he presses his mouth into a thin line, really no need to finish the sentence, awkwardly shoving his hands into his pockets. "...how have you been? settling, I mean? everything as alright as it can be?...actually, drinks on me. I think a proper celebration is in order."
Jamie was rubbing their face in frustration when Callum approached them, frowning at the fae's perky demeanor. The commander was far from happy, about their new position or— well, anything else really. "Um, thank you Callum. Yes, it's been quite the commotion I suppose. I heard all of Dawn is staying here in Sterallia just like Day." Their sister and Zaina seemingly in a similar train of thought even though they didn't agree.
At his question, Jamie shook their head, surprised at Callum's words. "I'll accept the drink but i don't think there's nothing to celebrate." The way Jamie came into their position felt wrong and it felt even worse how their cousin was breathing down their neck and it seemed like he was waiting for Jamie to make a mistake to claim the position for themselves. When Jamie dreamed of having the honor to command their family, their court's army, it didn't look like this. "We've settle, that's about as much as I can say, I'm afraid. Just like with Zaina, I had my sister take on a personal guard. I hope Zaina is settling okay with him. I know she wasn't happy about it." Zaina tried to fight it but Elian and Jamie agreed that this particular times demanded it.
CASSANDRA HAD NEVER BEEN AN INSINCERE FAE. While she may have seemed like it, now that Starlight's secret got out in the open, she had hoped her friends and loved ones had known her to be honest and true.
taking one look at Jamie across the room told her enough.
She'd always known it would come to this. Hoped it wouldn't, or at least hoped it would have been on better terms and more peaceful times, but how does she begin to explain it to them? That it was not a wish of hers to lie to them, nor was it done out of malice, but rather a necessity? A necessity that had tied the hands and tongues of her fellow citizens for over fifteen millennia.
they wouldn't understand.
Still, when Jamie approached, Cassandra offered them a soft smile. It would solve nothing, but at least it might show sincerity. The question did not surprise her - she'd expected as much from them. "It is." Cassandra admits with a slow nod.
"I owe you an apology, Jamie, but I hope you can understand my hands were tied at the time. Starlight's wards have not been breached in thousands of years. Speaking of it outside of the circle of those who had been privy to it's existence had not only been hard - it was impossible. All of us had been bound by it, our own High Family included." it was an ancient curse - cast by the founding line of the court of Starlight. Even if they have been extinct by now, their curse had remained.
until this -- whatever it was -- shattered it.
"I do hope you will be content in here. It seems we are stuck in the Twilight isles for the time being, so why not make it enjoyable?"
Her smile did not solve anything, in fact, it carved in them something ugly, bitter. It wasn't free that they found out about them. Remaining hidden put other courts in danger as well. An apology wasn't going to cut it. "But you still came out to the Winter festivities and put us all in danger." Jamie complained through gritted teeth but in a low voice, still talking to her closely. They weren't going to start pointing fingers or blaming her for things greater than all of them but there was certainly a lapse of judgment in the Starlight courtiers.
"Enjoyable like this is some kind of vacation to an exotic land? I doubt that, Cassandra." They said pointedly. "I lost a commander, faes lost their lives in Winter. It's far from enjoyable to be here. If you wanted to stay hidden then you should have stay hidden here instead of bringing death to the other courts doorsteps." Jamie finally stepped back, arms wrapping around themselves as they looked her up and down with disappointment.
the timing was wrong, for her to be realising that she’s in love. with everything going on, they should be focusing on finding solutions. and yet… half of her focus is consumed by the debate on whether she says anything. and if they don’t come out of this alive, if she loses anyone she cares for, she will be devastated. if she endangers someone… she needs to protect her court, her friends.
she has been trying to convince her whole court to drop the formalities with her, but her parents had always been far more formal, and it had been ingrained into the court, and she knows that jamie had come from a family that valued that as well. she nods, “i know. you have to create your own path for this. but if you need advice, a sparring partner to let off steam, you have friends who will be there. and none of us will do anything that would undermine your position.” she says. “once you have gotten more used to the position, you will become more comfortable. you just have to find the method that is right for you. and if anyone tries to say you aren't right for the position, or anything, you just do what you have to to prove you're better than them.”
Jamie nodded, relieved to have such a good friend and ally in Zaina. Every day they are more certain that their time in Dawn was not a mistake, that it was what they needed to better themselves, to get the life they wanted for themselves. "I know I can count on you and everyone in Dawn's inner circle. You've made me who I am today and helped in making me the person I always wanted to be. You gave me a blank canvas to make myself from scratch." This was as good a chance as any to tell Zaina this, after all, none of them knew what was going to happen to them here, why they were all cast into the hidden court. "Have you been able to find anything out? I've been dealing with in court problems as of now, you are the first High Liege I talk to other than my sister. I'm hoping you've had better luck than me."
