I was diagnosed with preeclampsia late into my 3rd trimester with my second baby. The doctors made sure to try to keep me as calm as possible about it, but I was scared. I remember coming home crying from my appointment after they told me that I needed to get my baby out as soon as possible. My first pregnancy went so smoothly, that hearing that news sent me into a straight panic.
I went completely natural with my first. Labored at home for 3 hours. Went to the hospital. Waddled around the labor and delivery room for 3 hours and then had my baby just in time to order some lunch. Yes the contractions were painful at the end, but I could breathe through them. I always knew they would give me breaks and so I made sure to super relax between the contractions. I kept comparing the pain to a tooth extraction I had in high school after a car accident and birth was a breeze in comparison to that.
Then speed forward to me getting induced with my second one. All sense of control was out the window. Fears of being told my kidneys and liver are failing are filling my brain as the nurse inserts an IV into my hand. Originally the plan was to give me a gel and I sleep with that and then start Pitocin the following morning. It was snowing hard that night (4 inches by the time I arrived) so I was glad I wasn’t in a rush.
However, when they checked me before inserting the gel I was too far progressed that it was better if I just started the pitocin drip. This is where the horror stories from google started to creep in. “It’s more painful,” and “the contractions come closer together and come on faster than in normal labor” had me on edge, but I didn’t have a choice. So they started the drip.
It didn’t take long for the monitor to start picking up my contractions. I think only an hour had passed. Then once the nurse told me I was having contractions I started to really focus on the feeling in my body. I could hardly feel them for a while, but then they started really kicking it into gear.
In my first birth I never screamed, only cussed under my breath like 2 times (mostly cause my mom was in the room), and with my husband’s help could manage everything well. Never shed a tear until I held my baby for the first time. Induction is a totally different animal.
It started off fine. I leaned against the wall or the bed and breathed smoothly through my contractions. I felt confident I could do it. Then time progressed and I literally cried in pain. The nurse eventually gave me some pain meds in the IV and it helped... but it only lasted in 30 minute and I could only receive it ever 60 minutes. So there was 30 minutes of intense pain after every 30 minutes of tolerable pain. (I had it two times)
Once my water broke (while I was standing mind you) things escalated quickly. The nurse suggested I get on the bed and stay on my knees. By this point I could only catch my breath between contractions. I would scream and bite the bed to try to manage my pain. I’d make the most gnarly growling sounds I’ve ever hear. They were so deep and loud that I didn’t even recognize it was me making that sound. By this point I was also throwing up between contractions. Things got so crazy that no doctor could get to my room fast enough. The nurse I was with delivered my baby while I was still on my knees facing the inclined mattress and biting the sheets.
The weird thing I noticed this time is I didn’t shake after birth. After my first I was scared to hold my baby without my husband right there cause I was trembling so hard. This time I had none of that. The nurse helped me lift my outfit, handed me my baby between my legs and I was able to turn around, lay back, and hold my baby while we waited a bit to clamp the cord.
The afterbirth was a lot harder this time too. The first time I had my doctor tell me to relax and then push and I was done. It took at most 15 minutes. She then proceeded to show it and explain it to us. This time I need more Pitocin and more pain medication (this was my 3rd bout with it now) and it took almost an hour to come out. I had an actual doctor there for this and she pushed hard on my stomach trying to make it come out.
If I could have avoided it, I would have. But I have my baby now and that is all that matters. I’m also glad a nurse delivered my baby cause a doctor would have made me get in that awful laid back and legs in the air position. Nonetheless, I had nightmares about the whole experience for a full week and now cringe anytime someone talks about birth.
I’m glad I at least had one good birthing experience. I’m also glad my newborn and I are healthy and safe.
But oh boy.... never again.
