The state of Chicago is deplorable.

All my fault. I didn't see you, Miss Gray!

#Josephine #chat

Damn this heat.

I feel like a roast pig.

#tschat #chat

The Bones of You || Roy and Victor

"I think I can manage," he said, steeling himself as Roy moved closer to pull the bullet out. He clenched his fists on his knees and gritted his teeth, breathing in and out through his nose as the extraction begain. It hurt without a doubt, but he had endured far worse.

When the bullet was out, he let himself relax a little, breathing in and out shakily. “That… that’s the only bullet,” he said, slightly woozy. He couldn’t help but be thankful for that.

"How’s it look?"

Roy closed his eyes, tried to keep from vomiting as he extracted the bullet, pressing a rag down hard, tying the rag off as a tourniquet, all professional, even though he hadn't done this sort of thing in ages, since San Francisco, really. The second rag, that was warm, covered in soap. Alcohol would clean better, but Roy didn't have any. He slapped that rag over Victor's arm and held it into place/

"Good." Roy forced a smile at Victor to let him know that this would all be okay. "I need you to hold this rag in place."

He turned away, looking for a thread and needle.

Roy Abraham

"The state of Chicago is deplorable."

#photo #moodboard

The Bones of You || Roy and Victor

He just managed a small nod and had Roy help him out of the car and up the steps to his door. He was feeling half dragged by the time they got in, though he still managed a small smile once he slumped onto the couch and Roy’s cat hopped right up next to him.

He let out a grunt of pain as his shirt was pulled open, the fabric having stuck to the injured skin where the blood had dried. “F.. fuck…” he mumbled, shrugging his shoulder out of the ruined shirt. He didn’t really want to look considering how uncomfortable Roy appeared, but he doubted it was as bad as it seemed. It certainly wasn’t the worst wound he’d sustained.

"For a bit there I didn’t expect to see you again… at least not like this. I thought you… I thought you would really take me up on the offer, put a bullet in my brain…"

#The Bones of You #victor

Tiburon had to get in the way. Roy sighed, slightly annoyed at the cat for distracting him, and picked his cat up, moving the animal to the table. "No, Tib. Not now. I'm busy."

He couldn't be distracted, not when Victor was injured and on the sofa, shirtless. No, he was shirtless and bleeding, shirtless and hurt. That's what mattered, making Victor feel better. Roy's own desires had to come second to that. Wordlessly, he took the shirt, threw it out. Those bloodstains weren't coming out.

Victor's words hurt, but Roy wouldn't let it show. "Look," he said, as he light a match, ran it over the tweezers he found. "This is gonna hurt. A lot."

The Bones of You || Roy and Victor

Victor didn’t know what to say, so for several seconds he just didn’t say anything, wondering if it might be a good idea to feign unconsciousness. That wouldn’t have been fair to Roy though, especially considering he had a head injury (albeit a mild one) and should he actually pass out it would likely cause panic in the other man.

He couldn’t exactly say he’d said nothing though, and he couldn’t pretend that what he had said didn’t have some sort of significance. He just had to hope that Roy wouldn’t get the full extent of what he’d meant and shut down on him. He had to hope that it wouldn’t lead to another fight, the inevitable end-all fight… He just didn’t think he was prepared for that right now.

"N…nothing," he said lamely, feeling like his face was on fire. "Just… trying to keep myself conscious."

#The Bones of You #victor

He'd been hoping, praying even, that Victor was say something else, anything else, but at least Victor was alive and at least nobody else had to get involved. If Victor wouldn't say the L-word, well, Roy wasn't exactly one to show off his emotions either. It would be hypocritical to get angry.

And at last, the sweet sight of his home, of his terrible little apartment, of a save haven where maybe he and Victor could...

No. There wasn't time for that. Victor was hurt, and Roy had to save him, had to stitch him up, make everything better, even though it wasn't Roy's fault this time, not properly at least. Maybe once Victor felt better, maybe then they could do things.

"Hey. Victor? We're here. Do you need help getting to my place?"

The Bones of You || Roy and Victor

Victor did his best to play along, but for the most part that amounted to glaring at anyone who looked his way and trying to stay conscious as they walked out of the station. Once he was in the back of the cop car he just laid down in the seat, tired.

"Hey," he said softly, a smile managing to form on his lips despite everything. "If I recall, I got blood in the last car you drove me in too. Admittedly, that was a bit worse than this. I’m not normally so weak…"

Roy made him weak though, in a way… He couldn’t say he minded that, despite the danger of it. He’d always been the type to get himself into trouble anyway, so what was one more thing?

Jesus, he was actually getting a bit delusional, thinking like that. He laughed a little to himself until he realized Roy was looking at him through the mirror, and it occurred to him that…

Shit.

He’d said all of that out loud. He’d told Roy that he made him weak and he enjoyed it.

Embarrassed, he just tried not to meet his gaze, swallowing thickly.

Roy was no nonsense as he got into the car, telling Victor to lie down, be careful in the back seat. This wasn't his car; Roy couldn't afford a car. It belonged to the police station and what Roy was doing was so, so illegal...

But he didn't care. A man's life was, after all, at risk. If a little bit of blood got on the seat, if Roy started inching the car forward before the light fully changed, well, nobody was going to be hurt by that. Roy was sure of that. Of course, when he returned to the station, Eddie was going to give him hell, but Roy could always say it was a judgement call. Eddie surely didn't want a man dying in the holding cell.

He drove quickly, silently, only half listening to Victor babbling away in the back seat. Babbling was good. Babbling meant that Victor was alive, and if Victor was alive, that meant Roy was okay. And Victor wouldn't be babbling much when they got to Roy's place, and Roy had to pull the bullet out.

And then... Roy almost slammed on the breaks at what Victor said. Surely it had to be a weak man's nonsense, but... Victor had sounded so happy, so serious.

"Excuse me?"

The Bones of You || Roy and Victor

"Hooray…" Victor said weakly. He would have been more excited, but he was in a pretty ridiculous amount of pain by this point. Not even Roy’s affectionate touches could distract him from it now.

He let his head thud against Roy’s side briefly, closing his eyes, tired. All in all, this had gone better than expected, even if he knew they would likely end up in the same position again. He knew that as long as they played this game, that was where it would end and that eventually they wouldn’t be able to come back from it for one reason or another. At the moment, he just didn’t care. All he cared about was that Roy was close by and that he didn’t hate him.

Victor loved him, and even though Roy couldn’t know— even though Roy was likely incapable of feeling the same way— this was enough. As long as Roy touched him, he could pretend. It was far from an ideal situation, but he could live with it… and when it was over… Well, it wasn’t like Victor hadn’t dealt with that before.

"Get me out of here," he said. "Take me anywhere. Just… get the bullet out of my shoulder."

It wasn't like Victor to sound so... weak, so defeated, so scared. Roy hated it, hated how it made his stomach twist and turn in disgust and sadness. God, if there was just something he could do...

Victor was so heavy, but Roy pulled him to his feet all the same. It was rough, rougher than Roy meant for it, but if anyone was watching, it would look believable enough. "On your feet, Madison." Roy let his mouth fall near Victor's ear. "Play along with me, Vic. Struggle some if you have to. If it looks too easy, nobody's gonna fall for it."

As he marched Victor out of the cell, Roy looked around. "Fucking gangster's been shot. I'm taking him to Doctor Young so he doesn't bleed out."

clickthefrog

#tw: blood #photo

The Bones of You || Roy and Victor

Victor bit down on his bottom lip, head tilting back a little at the nibble. “I don’t think my friends like to do this too much, but then, my friends don’t tend to interrogate me either…”

He turned his head slightly to watch Roy move around the chair, cringing a little at the pull of his injured shoulder. “There’s not much to tell, mind. I didn’t have anything to do with it. If you want to know who blew things up, you need to get some of the Macini in here. Macalester’s was a Lombardi building. We wouldn’t blow up our own building, and if we would, I sure as hell wouldn’t be anywhere near it.”

He pressed his hand against his shoulder, grimacing at the ache in his ribs from the movement. “Now I have a question… or a request, I guess. You think maybe you could get the bullet out of my shoulder?”

Roy frowned when he saw Victor wince. He wanted to rub Victor's shoulder to make it go away, to make him feel better, but Roy wasn't dumb enough to rub at a bullet wound. "Look, I believe you, Victor. I know you wouldn't lie to me. But the other cops..." In all honesty, they probably didn't give a damn either, but Roy couldn't let Victor think that.

"I just don't know if anyone else would let you go so easy. That's all." He bit his lip slightly, smirking when Victor's eyes darted up a little. Lord, he wanted to get Victor out of here, back to a warm bed, where they could be safe, but that was easier said than done.

It hit Roy like a ton of bricks. There was a way to get him out. "I can tell the cops you need to see Doctor Young, and then I can take the bullet out for you!"

thisabsolutelycharmingman-blog

#photo

The Bones of You || Roy and Victor

Victor was slow to open his eyes from the kiss, but when Roy posed the question to him, he almost had to laugh. “I didn’t really think that was up to me,” he said, bumping his nose against Roy’s. He even smelled good, Victor thought wildly, though he was sure that was amplified considering Victor’s state of disarray. He doubted he smelled fresh as a daisy— he probably smelled like ash and blood.

"Figured you wanted to question me about the explosion, lock me up," Victor said. "Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do, Lieutenant?" He was teasing fondly to an extent, but he was also genuinely curious about it. Could Roy really just walk him out of here? Would he?

Even if he did, Victor feared he might not be in any sort of state to really… perform. He was barely keeping himself sitting upright at the moment and found that his desire to sleep with Roy right now had a hell of a lot more to do with actual sleeping. Of course, he couldn’t say such a thing— he knew that was a line not meant to be crossed. Even if they weren’t fighting anymore, that fight had made it abundantly clear what this whole thing was to Roy.

It was sex— a fling, really, albeit a long running one. The feelings on Victor’s part had been his own fault and would just have to be something he got over.

Having him in his lap, pressing kisses to his lips, however… that was making it very difficult.

Alright. The question was stupid. Roy couldn't exactly waltz out with Victor; there were rules that had to be followed, and Roy always did follow the rules, even when he didn't want to. And he certainly didn't want to now.

Playfully, he swatted at Victor. "Fine. I can't just let you go, and I do want to know what happened. But not as a cop. As... as friends." Friends was the wrong word, but anyone could be listening in, and if they were listening in, they were also watching. It couldn't look good, for him to be sitting in Victor's lap, so he jumped up neatly and circled around, mouth pressed against Victor's ear.

It was mean, but Roy couldn't help nibbling on the other man's ear.

The Bones of You || Roy and Victor

"You’re out of your mind if you think I ever couldn’t kiss you back," Victor said shakily, pressing a kiss to Roy’s bottom lip, softer than before. "You don’t know what you fucking do to me. You have no fucking idea."

He bit down on Roy’s bottom lip before sucking on it to soothe the sting, hands gripping tightly to Roy’s thighs. He felt dizzy, sick with need. “You destroy me and build me back up just to do it again. I can’t stand it… I can’t stand it…”

He dropped his forehead to Roy’s shoulder, panting raggedly. He was in so much physical pain, but it was easy to ignore with Roy sitting in his lap. No, the ache inside his heart so much worse, the sting of Roy’s words from the night they parted still tearing him apart. Even with Roy in his lap he was still so unsure of himself, of this, of them. Roy couldn’t know how deeply he could destroy Victor with every kiss, how weak Victor’s heart was for him. He could never know how far he had fallen.

#The Bones of You #victor

Roy cupped Victor's face in his hands, wishing he could kiss away the fears, the wrinkles, all of this. It wasn't fucking fair, that this was there reality, that no matter what happened, neither could quite trust the other. "I thought... If you were mad at me... I wouldn't want to think about kissing you."

He gave a short laugh and sighed as Victor nibbled at his lower lip. It was a gentle move, nothing more, but that was what Roy needed right now. He needed the reassurance that he was at least partially forgiven, that Victor didn't hate him anymore.

But goddamn, it was hard to think straight with Victor's hands all heavy on his thighs, and Victor's mouth only inches away. It was hard to be straight around Victor.

Still... If anyone caught them...

"Victor? Do you want me to let you go or do you want to stay in this cell? Because I'm not sure if we can do... this... here."

The Bones of You || Roy and Victor

His mouth fell open in pain when Roy’s hands landed on his shoulders, but before he could manage even a sound his lips were being met with a kiss. Victor hated it, hated himself for how alive it made him feel. He even cursed as they parted, whimpering, “bastard,” before tugging him back in again like a drowning man seeking air.

"I don’t understand you, I don’t understand," he found himself rambling between each new kiss. "What do you want from me? Fuck…"

He wanted to be angry, to be spiteful, to be hateful. He didn’t like being used, and the night he had walked out the door of Roy’s apartment he certainly had felt that way. He’d never intended to give in to anything Roy did here and now, not so easily, not like this, and yet here he was, helpless and practically begging for more.

His hands slid over Roy’s chest, fingers trembling from the pain and the adrenaline, and he was surely leaving dirt all over Roy’s shirt. He felt dizzy and lost, angry and needy and relieved…

"It’s not fair…" he whispered against Roy’s lips, voice shaking from the weight of it all. "It’s not fair to do this to me…"

Roy had been expecting Victor to punch him, not to pull him down into a kiss, hands roaming over his back and his neck, hungry for his mouth. Roy didn't think he would have to kiss Victor back, that he would end up half in Victor's lap, kissing him.

And really, it would have been smartest to stop it after the first kiss, but every time Roy pulled back, he couldn't help kissing Victor back, falling further and further down. "I..." Victor's teeth nipped at Roy's lip and Roy tipped his head back and hissed.

"I don't... I don't know what I want." But Roy did know what he wanted. He wanted Victor to forgive him, to not hate him, to never stop kissing him.

Roy settled himself in Victor's lap; his neck was getting a crick and his back ached. He grabbed the other man's collar and looked into his eyes before kissing him again, rough and angry. "You're not fair to me either. I didn't think you'd kiss back."

The Bones of You || Roy and Victor

"You made it abundantly clear, Lieutenant," he said, sneering, but once again the anger was just a poor mask for the hurt. "I know when I’m not wanted. Don’t try to undo it just because I’m sitting here now. Why would you want to? You chickening out on killing me? This scum? This mobster that you hate so much?"

"After all, you’ll recall that I was pretty angry too, but I didn’t say that I hated you. I wasn’t the one who walked away without saying anything. Come on, Lieutenant, where’s your fighting spirit? Where is your desire to scrub the dirt like me off the street, huh? Where is it?!"

He didn’t expect to get this close to hysteria this quickly. Just being close to him made him go crazy though, had ever since he’d first laid a hand on him. He knew that Roy didn’t, couldn’t feel the same way for him, and Victor frankly hated that he felt this way anyway, but Victor couldn’t deny it… just like he couldn’t admit it.

"You’ve got to be out of your fucking mind if you think I was only thinking of myself," he said, eyes stinging a little. "I didn’t know what to do… I was going to try to fix it… and you exploded at me. How am I supposed to believe you don’t hate me when at the first sign of trouble you tucked tail and run? I knew what it was, all right? I knew what we were… but don’t you dare try and take it back now because you don’t want to kill me. Kill me or don’t, but don’t fucking lie to me now."

God, it would be so, so tempting, just to shoot Victor, or to make him suffer, hitting his shoulder over and over, kicking him, beating him with the chair. It would be so easy to just lie and say the prisoner tried to attack him, that Roy was just defending himself and his city.

But Roy couldn't do it. "If you tried to kill me, I'd kill you back. But otherwise..." He shook his head. "I don't kill unarmed men. I'm not that sort of monster, Madison. Thought you knew that by now." And he didn't kill men who, against his better judgement, he still loved. "I want you and all of your friends gone, Madison, but I'm no murderer. I'm better than that. And don't you ever forget it."

And suddenly, he was close to Victor, far closer than he had expected, hands on the other man's shoulders, mouths only inches apart. all he had to do was lean in and steal the kiss. His eyes darted around. Please let another officer come, but no. Everyone else was, goddammit, too busy.

And so, Roy gave into temptation.

The Bones of You || Roy and Victor

"Oh, of course not," Victor said, rubbing his wrists, still not meeting Roy’s eyes. "I’m sure having a guy like me in here is going to bury you in paperwork. What a hassle."

He could sense Roy looking at him, eyes sliding over his injuries as if trying to assess their severity. After having his throat slit it was hard for Victor to find anything that left him standing as a serious wound, but he was beginning to think he was a little worse off than he thought. He still wasn’t entirely sure if he was lightheaded from blood loss or if it was just Roy’s presence though.

"Come on, lieutenant," he said, managing a weak smile. "Where’s that high and mighty attitude from the other night? You sure didn’t care about hurting me then. You actually hated me then. Called me a fairy, if I remember right. Where’s your fighting spirit, huh? You’ve got one of those dirty mobsters you hate so much right here and unable to put up a fight. You gonna shoot me? Or are you gonna ask me questions and then shoot me?"

He met Roy’s gaze then with a sneer, but even he could feel the mile wide crack in the mask. There was hurt in his eyes, he could tell. He dropped his gaze again. “I was standing too close to the explosion. It knocked out my hearing on one side.”

Roy opened his mouth and closed it before he said something he would regret. It was easier just to be stern and silent, concealing what he was feeling, than to speak the truth, especially to Victor.

It could get damn hot in these cells, and Roy unbuttoned his top button, loosened his tie some, even rolled his sleeves up to his elbows. He did it slow, a bitter slower than he normally would have, because the actions were going to help him clam down. It sure as hell wasn't for Victor's benefit.

"I'm not gonna shoot you. Jesus." Roy turned away, hurt. "Did it ever occur to you that I said those things to you 'cause I was mad? Or are you too bull-headed to think of anyone but yourself?"