absolutely no sequins whatsoever

The radio aches a little tune that tells the story of what the night is thinking. It's thinking of love. It's thinking of stabbing us to death and leaving our bodies in a dumpster.

[rylandgraces]

there’s a friday ass vibe about this wednesday boys keep your wits about you

[penny-anna]

The Martian of course was part of the small but notable genre of movies 'people expend huge amounts of effort to rescue Matt Damon'. In Project Hail Mary we see a foundational entry in the inverse genre 'people expend huge amounts of effort to send Ryan Gosling away forever'. Excited to see where we send Ryan Gosling next.

[humoristics]

The ocean molded this clump of bricks into a rock shape

via

[pochowek]

real life texture glitch

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

Domesticated rock has returned to the wild and become feral

[the-haiku-bot]

Domesticated

rock has returned to the wild

and become feral

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[pansy2025]

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

[mezzodical]

[scottishcommune]

We know at the present time that all animals, beginning with the ants, going on to the birds, and ending with the highest mammals, are fond of plays, wrestling, running after each other, trying to capture each other, teasing each other, and so on. And while many plays are, so to speak, a school for the proper behavior of the young in mature life, there are others which, apart from their utilitarian purposes are, together with dancing and singing, mere manifestations of an excess of forces— “the joy of life,” and a desire to communicate in some way or another with other individuals of the same or of other species—in short, a manifestation of sociability proper, which is a distinctive feature of all the animal world.

- Kropotkin, Mutual Aid: A Factor of Evolution

[throwbackblr]

[kozteskod]

[elnerdo19v2]

This is how we burned cds 💿

[cipheramnesia]

If I did an alien abduction story it would be about someone who got abducted and came back and went out to live in isolation, but when the aliens come back to try and abduct her again they discover she has prepared a series of looney tunes home alone style lethal traps, and it becomes a comedy where bugs bunny is abduction survivor with ptsd and alien grays are an infinite supply of wile e coyotes, but all the traps specifically rely on alien abduction clichés to set off.

Like she's being hit with the bright antigravity spotlight and as she's about to be dragged off she crawls behind something. Then you cut to the aliens on the ship watching a spec rising towards them, except as it comes into focus, it's a huge anvil and not a person. Cut back to the aliens frantically pushing buttons and then back to the girls on the ground as she sees a tiny little *pfft* of a distant ship explosion in the sky

[cipheramnesia]

Flying saucer gets lower and lower towards her, slowing, slowing. When it stops, it comes clear that it is pushing against a pair of giant rubber bands, and they slingshot the ufo back into space.

[cipheramnesia]

Alien leaning over her sleeping form under the covers, but we see her leaning over behind the alien until she goes like, "Ehmmm whatcha lookin at there?" Then the alien jumps up and spins arouns but when it tries to grab her, she shoves a gift wrapped box into its hands and then it opens the box which immediately explodes.

[rikmach]

Wasn’t there an entire episode of Animaniacs with this exact premise?

[cipheramnesia]

There's an entire looney tunes character with this exact premise

[garashir]

hey friends where is that picture of boromir with the gondor flag except its a pride flag?

[lesbiansforboromir]

Couldn’t find it so I made another because you’re right that it’s a crime and it’s definitely my duty to remedy it

[wizardarchetypes]

it’s sooo funny when rude customers encounter employees who can deny them service for the first time.

i was working at a little cafe where I could deny service over bad behavior, harassment etc. & mask mandates had just ended a week before & already people were being weird about me still wearing mine—an N95, the kind shaped kinda like a duckbill.

so this man walked in, looked at me sooo scathingly, laughed at me, and said “damn. never known a woman to choose…practicality over looks.”

And I just said, “oh. you can go, you’re not getting a drink.” And he said, “what???”

I said, “sir, you just walked in at 6 am & called women impractical and me ugly in one sentence.”

And he was so astonished he didn’t even argue he just turned around and left 💀🙏🏻 it was like he suddenly became self aware

[carolinalaurel]

One summer I was running ferry rides across a lake so people could see the waterfalls without walking 6 miles when a guy snapped my bra strap as he was boarding the boat. So i immediately threw him off, he started yelling for my manager, my boss cheerfully informed him that, yeah, she’s the captain of the boat and she can kick off anyone she wants. He goes to storm off, looks expectantly at his girlfriend, and she just goes, “Well, I’M not walking six miles, Michael! I’ll meet you back at the car!” and sits right back down!!!!

The expression on his face when he was told that he couldn’t get on the boat, then immediately told that his girlfriend was ditching him? PRICELESS. he just blinked at her and then stormed off like a child. I gave her a free hat and was like maybe rethink this relationship…….

[hickeywiththegoodhair]

i once had this fucker come up to order a beer. while i pour it he shows me the wanky fucking chemical structure tattoo on his arm and he’s like “hey. you know what this is” i was like “nah sorry” (never cared abt chemistry in school, plus having to look at a some rando’s pretentious tattoo gives me the douche chills). he decides to respond with “heh. you must not read many books”

i immediately stop pouring his beer. i reply: “heh. you must not want this beer.” thirsty boy immediately starts groveling like a worm “please please no i do want the beer im sorry im sorry” believe me when i say it was one of the most pathetic things ive ever witnessed

[lezbadeez]

gotta love people immediately backpedaling when they realise that there are Consequences To Being Mean

[lastvalyrian]

I genuinely believe that part of why it has become so normalized to be openly callous and evil in politics is that customer service culture has trained affluent people that they can treat everyone they consider beneath them however they want and still be treated kindly.

[markovchaingang]

hey you. teenage girl writing in her diary. quit talking about the boy you have a crush on and start writing about the current political situation, the valuation of currencies, and the level of technology your people hold. your diary might be the only piece of evidence our society existed after nuclear war fries all of our data backups. future historians don't need to know about damian, they need at least a secondhand accounts of the great water wars and whether or not your leaders truly did worship a deity called "the free hand of the market"

[mothnem]

Keep writing about your crush Teenaged Girl. About your clothes, and how that other girl wore the same dress as you. Paint me a picture of what you were like.

[enchantedlantern]

Historians are going to hear about Damian and they're gonna LIKE IT

[therealbeachfox]

Make those future Historians reverse engineer the socioeconomic hierarchies of the 21st century from dreamy descriptions of Damian's current fashions. It's giving them enrichment.

[vaspider]

Talk about the things you want to talk about. You never know what mysteries your diary might solve in future generations bc you are the only person who talks about something that other people thought was too obvious to talk about, like whatever that third condiment dish that used to be on the table with salt and pepper was for.

[rosstmcd]

Somebody should sell a product where you can write by, I dunno, etching onto ceramic plates or something that has a fair chance of surviving to be read by the archeologists of the future.

Because you know a minimum of 50% of people would be deliberately pranking those future scientists.

"Dear Diary (and future scientists, hi!) - how i wish I could sneak out to meet my secret boyfriend Damian tonight, but it's June 2nd and of course everybody has to stay home tonight with a whisk broom because of the carapaces."

[vaspider]

These things do exist. :)

[buffyfknlo]

Communication is key

[teaboot]

Too bad the prophet Cassandra never met Odysseus

[teaboot]

They say if she made a prophecy Nobody would believe her

[edgar-allan-possum]

I’ve gotta say, that is exactly the kind of stupid thing that probably would circumvent a curse.

[elidyce]

Cassandra: YOU ARE ALL GOING TO REGRET THIS SO MUCH YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. 

Odysseus: Regret it why?

Cassandra: You won’t believe me if I tell you. If I prophecy, nobody believes me. That is my curse.

Odysseus: … I’m Nobody. Fill me in. 

*A couple of months later* 

Odysseus: HELLO PENELOPE, I AM HERE PRECISELY ON TIME AND NOT YEARS LATE incidentally I rescued and adopted a Trojan seer while I was away, she’s great, got me home really fast, Cassandra this is your new mother who’s not going to treat you like shit. 

Penelope: … I’m going to need more details, but okay, sure. 

Cassandra: *in tears* I love you, new family. 

[cipheramnesia]

Cassandra: Penelope, I’ve had another vision.

Penelope, sighs: Go tell your father.

[val-the-bun]

HOW DARE YOU HIDE THIS IN THE TAGS, @a-dauntless-daffodil!

[ominous-signs]

has no one submitted the no parking signs on I-95 just outside of St. Augustine for the 22nd??

Official ominous sign sign sign sign sign sign sign si

[marisatomay]

Happy Pride

[spankerella]

@ perfectunion

[massachusetts-official]

Official Post of Massachusetts

[frutiguro]

[balaclava-trismegistus]

The bar just keeps getting lower on this image macro. Six months it's gonna say "clean water."

[lohboh]

what is happening in the replies to this post why is like literally every type of scam going on in there, what the fuck

[roycohn]

do it scared. do it stupid. but most importantly, do it bitching and moaning the entire time