I like the contrast between the softness of affection and the intensity of desire
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@life4lovers
I like the contrast between the softness of affection and the intensity of desire
fomerly datesfordummies, I'm resurrecting my advice blog :) older, wiser, and now living in the love I've been dreaming of for so many years... let's chat x
desire may be the complete and utter end of me.
v. || exposingmyveins
My type: someone who wants me as much as I want them
did YOU know that you shouldn’t start dating people you don’t like?? AND you shouldn’t continue to date people you can’t love?? did anyone ever tell you that people don’t deserve you by default even if they’re nice or polite or funny or friendly??
did YOU know that simply not liking someone isn’t a bad thing??
AND that it’s actually a GOOD thing to trust yourself and not lead anyone on out of niceness??
did you know that this is mutually beneficial??
AND that even if it’s not mutual, it’s still good for you and that’s enough of a reason??
such a hard lesson as a people pleaser. but such a bringer of peace as well, through the discomfort.
is anyone still here?
Haven't logged in since idk when and there's no date on the asks in my inbox. If you see this, send me an xoxo with your ask and I'll get back to you :)
🤔 I have this crush that I worked with for several months now, and our coworkers would always tease us cuz he always offers to buy me food and asked for my Discord to send me memes while I was home sick. My coworker found out he likes me back and wanted a fun hangout with me and The Gang before asking me out, however a certain pandemic stopped that. I've been trying to chat since he left work to protect his folks, but he doesn't answer much if at all. Usually he says he's bored at home so idk?
🤔 (cont'd) I'm worried I'm being too annoying, but I wanted to get to know him more anyway so I might as well try rather than wait. I've been having to take the initiative so far (asking him on a date to the fair and finding out he's not a fair person... but he goes with his folks) so I feel like I should be ballsy and confess while he's out buuuut I don't want to be pushy either. It just feels like it'd get things over with and not be a waste of time, though I have little exp dating tbh
In my opinion I think you should hold off for a bit. If he's being distant there might be a reason for that; a lot of people are having a hard time coping w the pandemic especially if they have at-risk loved ones to worry about and protect. So, I think give him space for now. You can still initiate chats on occasion but if he doesn't seem receptive to them then let it be. Just trust that if you were both serious about getting together pre-pandemic those feelings will still be there post-pandemic!
That guy couldn't be more explicit about his feelings if he hit her over the head with a brick that says "I Love You" on the side.
🤭
hey i’m having a hard time figuring out if one of my guy friend is into me or not. basically 1) he wants me text, call, and see him all the time. and he’s bothered that i’m more closer to my other guy friends than him. he also teases me all the time and we sleep on facetime every night. he flirts with me and says “i’m just joking” at the end of it all the time. also, i notice when he makes a statement sometimes he always touches my arm. when we’re all hanging out in a group, he’s always right -
(cont) beside me.. but then when i talk about a guy or a future bf, he always says “he’s out there” or “your soulmate is waiting for you”
Uh yeah, for what you've said, I'd say yes! Maybe next time your talking, ask him if he likes anyone 😉
Can a best friend turn into a partner or is that just a mistake? I really want to keep her as a friend but I still adore her so very much :(
They absolutely can! If things are mutual, two best friends falling in love is one of the most rewarding relationships you can be in 😊
Cynical anon here again!! The dynamic we have is complicated since we had a weird moment a few summers ago and I thought it would turn into something else!! But no, and he went to date one of my friends and I was like, okay cool cool I'm happy for them!! And then it happened again this January and we realized that we both liked eachother but I think it might've been a bad idea to say yes to those dates. So I'm in for a bumpy ride 😣😣
Yeahhh you're gonna have to do the unfun bit then 😔 I think the best way to do it, self iso style, is a video call. Just find a time to chat and let him know where your head is at w everything. Maybe don't bring up emotional maturity. But just let him know you've done some thinking and feel y'all are better off as friends. It be difficult at first and he may get upset. But, if your friendship is strong and worth maintaining, y'all will work it out!
Hi!! I'm the cynical/confused anon!! Thank you for answering my ask, I'm glad to know that we agree on the decision based on what I told you!! Now, i know it goes against the entirety of this lovely blog but how would you suggest a way to split things off between emotionally immature boy and me? Quarantine isn't forgiving with letting us see each other in person and doing over text has never been my thing. I wanna be gentle with him but afraid our friendship will deteriorate..
Don't worry, I'm down to help with anything even if it's like anti-dating 😅
But to better answer this do you mind telling me like a bit more about y'alls dynamic? Like was he aware of your crush and that you were considering him in a romantic way? Has it been expressed that he feels the same way (even if he hasn't told you, like is he flirty and showing signs of wanting to date?)
If he hasn't and was never aware of your feelings then I don't think you really need to do any sort of breaking things off. Just dial back the flirting and keep vibing as friends. But, if he's been reciprocating those feelings then it's going to be a trickier conversation 😕
Sorry I feel like w all of those follow up questions I'm giving you homework 😅 you can keep reaching me as anon in my inbox if you're happy w that or you can always private message me! Whichever you prefer 😊
hi, your blog is really cool! and so sweet of you responding to these questions😇 i hope you can help me out too! so i really like this guy and we've hung out a couple of times but a couple months back he said that he's not really looking for something serious :( and i kinda wanna know if he still likes me and if maybe he's changed his mind 🙈 im not really confident in texting first tho! what should i do? 😕
Thank you sweetheart 🥰😘
If you want to find out what's going w him you can wait and hope he texts you. But, the only real way is to text him. I promise it's not that scary! It only takes like a minute of courage to type a little "hey, how have you been?" and hit send. I know you can do it 😊😊
Once you send that, you've gotten the conversation started. I'd say maybe chat a bit to refresh the friendship and then once you feel more comfortable you can bring up the topic of feelings. But, I'm sure just from the casual texting alone, you can sort of start to get an idea of how he's feeling towards you. Best of luck and you got this!!!
i've been in a ldr since before everything was in hard lock-down mode. i offered to drive to my bf of 3 yrs so that we'd quarantine together & he told me not to - he didn't want me to rush to move in with him. at the start of quarantine, when i first called, he would be busy with work or sth else so we wouldn't talk much, but when i ask what he's doing he's normally playing games/just hanging out with his roomie. he doesn't bother calling back & i feel like i'm not important to him
His concern of rushing moving in together is a fair concern to have. Especially going from ldr to suddenly being stuck inside together all day every day for who knows how long 😅
But his current behavior does raise some alarm to me and there is a chance that you're right about him prioritizing other things over you. But, let's not jump to conclusions yet! Talk to him first. Shoot him a text or give him a call to ask if he's doing okay; there might be something personal going on at his end that's making him withdraw from your relationship and he might just need a bit of space for now. I think we're both aware that his behavior might be caused by something in y'alls relationship and that things might not work out between y'all. But, it could also be something he's going thru on his own. Either way, talk to him about it!
I wish you luck! Hopefully it's nothing too serious and everything works out for you 😘
Do you have any tips on how to find a partner? Not really feeling like tinder etc
Usually my advice is along the lines of socializing and getting out as often as you can like going to parties or join clubs, just kinda seizing any opportunity to meet new people. But, w social distancing going on in most parts of the world I realise thats kinda tricky right now. I'm gonna be honest and say that, if online dating/apps aren't your thing, then the search for a partner is gonna probably have to go on hold for a while. But, take comfort in the fact that you aren't alone. A lot of single people are feeling hella lonely rn, myself included! I think for the time being, focus on personal growth, stay home and stay healthy!
i think i’m starting to have feelings for my friend. we are both boys and i have bpd so it makes liking people really terrifying but all i feel when i think about him is that i just want to talk to him and get to know him more. even writing this now i miss him.
Unfortunately I'm not super well educated on bpd especially when it comes to romance and dating 😔 but, talking doesn't hurt right? If you want to get to know him more then do it! You can take things slow, build your friendship w him and then when you feel ready you can maybe start exploring the idea of adding romance to the relationship
hi! this school year i had seen a guy who is just a year older and I’ve just been feeling this attraction to him! he’s tall with dark wavy shoulder length hair and he has the most intense dark eyes!we would always pass each other in the hallway and share some really intense eye contact and he would always smirk. one time i accidentally pointed at him and he pointed right back at me i was so embarrassed lmao. do you think he might be interested? im just not sure because we’ve never talked :c
It's hard to tell! I think he's definitely taken notice of you in a positive way but based off of this alone I really can't say. And it might be the same for him, it sounds like he maybe is intrigued by you but doesn't know enough to really feel drawn to make a move. So you have to make one! Idk what the quarantine situation is for you but if you can see him irl then talk to him! Introduce yourself or give him a compliment, anything just to get the ball rolling. If you are stuck in quarantine then find his instagram account or whatever social media he uses and give it a follow! Maybe DM him to ask how he's doing w everything going on. I think in this case, if you want something to happen your gonna have to make the first move!