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Frog and Toad

By Kristina Ingrid McGowan

I know it seems like I’m the problem. I might be the problem in their eyes. Their world. Their point of view. With my mom she doesn’t know boundaries. I decided to jump off that carousel because I couldn’t handle it any more. This is the longest I haven’t talked to her. My best friend, I thought I was just helping her. I was afraid something bad would happen to her. She is an alcoholic and her boyfriend was a drug addict. She had already went to rehab and admitted she thought about harming herself. She was discharged and was okay. He got into trouble again and I was afraid she would relapse. I called her parents because she wasn’t replying back. But apparently that made me nosy. If me being “nosy” is what helped in the tiniest way. That’s okay. My other best friend and I had some words. Just because I sometimes don’t want to be around people when they drink shouldn’t make me the bad person. Well, I lost her too.

Out of everyone though…. I am more brokenhearted about my bestie than my mom. (I mean it still sucks losing her. I always wanted that mother daughter best friend thing. But it doesn’t work for us.) Losing the best friends is way worse.

And I understand having to let go of people in your life who don’t benefit you. But to stop being friends with someone and act as if you didn’t have any part in the downfall is crazy. Putting all the blame on me is delusional.

I still love them and miss them.

Hope they truly have the life they want.