life hacks jesus would want you to know!!1! @lifehacksfromthelord - Tumblr Blog

hot take #129

debra here coming at you with some science!! my son frakb recently came home from school and told me his teacher was trying to tell him about gLOBAL WARMENING! since when is liberal snowflake propaganda aloud in mY SCHOOLS. our representative alex jones will be hearing about this

#jake pauler #godchurch #christian #christian mom #jeshus #jesus christ #vegan

announcemneets!!

important!!! announcements!!!! debra has a BRAND NEW BLOG. I have always considered myself to be ssomething of a Filme Conneosiuer, so I’ve finalyl decided to apply my talents and artistic vision to create a filme review account! go subcribe to @debrafilms for some hot takes.

#god #church #godchurch #jesus #christian mom

life hack #92

is your knife too cold to cut through your butter? microwave it on high for 3 hours to cut through it in a jiffy

#christian #life #hack #lifehack #lifehacska #hack ur life #christianity #mom #christian mom #proud owner of a 2004 honda odyssey #jesus #christ #godchurch #jake pauler

🅱️ecipe #3

debra here coming at you with a hot new recipe!!!!! this is my ULTIMATE VEGAN VEGETARIAN PESCATARAIN VEGANTARIAN PALEO KETO NON GMO NON MSG GLUTEN FREE MEAT FREE RECIPE with ABSOLUTELY NO MEAT

first, take a roasted duck and stuff it with 6 lbs of hamburger meat. mix 12 dozen eggs with breadcrumbs until a paste is formed, deep fry, and wrap in bacon. stuff that in the roasted duck as well. deep fry the entire duck in crisco and wrap that in bacon too. repeat twice. boil it in milk, then sprinkle with cheese. serve lukewarm with a side of butter!!1!

great for picky eaters and vegantarians

#christian #christian mom #vegan recipe #vegetarian recipe #vegan #vegan christian mom #proud honda owner #jesus #god church #bible inspired #NO #MEAT

life hack #1

granola bars are are heathenous and unhealthy so i like to keep a stick of butter in my pocket at all times to crunch on to avoid that midday slump

#life #hac #lifehack #life hack #christian life hack #christian #christnaity #christian mom #jesus #god #church #godchurch #jakepauler #food hacc

life hack #19

screaming child? no worries. just place a plastic bag over their head to contain the sound and induce sleep. works perfectly!!1!

#christian #life #hack #jesus #church #godchurch #jeshus #life hacc #baby hack #ajke pauler

modesty hack

#modesty #christian #christ #jesus #christian mom #church #godchurch #jake pauler #conservative mom #modesty hacks #modest fashion #girl defined

rant #4

today i was driving my daughter Yeshuahuaia to sunday school and she got the aux and tried to play a song by Ari Ana Grand Day called GOD IS A WOMAN. WHAT. DO. You. MEAN. THE AUDACITY OF THIS WOMAN. GOD HAS A PHYSICAL FORM AND IT IS FRED FROM FRED: THE MOVIE. GET THAT HEATHENOUS GARBAGE OUT OF MY 2004 HONDA ODYSSEY

#disgusted #god #church #sunday school #arryana granday #only holy music in MY van #jake paul #fr*d: the movie #jesus #christian

by-grace-of-god

lifehacksfromthelord

so 😫 true 💯

#christian mom #jesus #lifehack #holy #holy hacks #christian #christinithy #jeshus #christ

life hack #017892

dehydrated?

studies show that the most effective way to drink is you fill a bucket with water, submerge your head, and inhale deeply through your nose and mouth simultaneously

#LIFE HACK #ur welcome #christian life hacks #jeshus #chuch #godchurch #christ #has #risen #today #works for infants

oscars 2k19 predictions

best picture.......sunday school musical

best soundtrack......sunday school musical

best director......rachel lee goldenberg (sunday school musical)

best actor.........chris chatman (sunday school musical)

best actress.........candise lakota (sunday school musical)

best daddy.......christian bale as spicy dick cheney (vice)

best animation..........the boss baby

best cinematography.........,,..gnomeo and juliet: sherlock gnomes

#oscars #oscars predictions #my holy household #christ #jesus #christian #god #godchurch #jesus christ #jesus h christ #h = hotdogs

life hack #2

does is your child a liberal?

use speghettios and bleach

#christian #christ #jesus #lifehack #churh #godchurch #jehsu #jsessus #jesuss #jah #lifeahc #jake pauler

flat earther of the month

is ...... father 🅱️en shapiro!!!1!!!

“vaccinations turn kids into leftists.” - bin shahuahua

we stan a 4′2″ king

#daddy #jeshuhs #chritian mom #christian mom #god church #church #flat earth #moon truther #thanks for ur service

kyftdjhc6uykghbjkftjdfghvkjkvcdrifglyuhiyftodchgvjhbhugyftidcvjugilo6r5ftlyuhogp78f6o7dirxcyguhopiuhilygfktghiop- Thanks

any time!!1!!

uwu,

Debra

life hacc #199

teach your toddler to swim in a jiffy!!!1! hand him a ten pound bowling ball for stability and just chuck him in the deep end!!!

#godchurch #christian mom #christian #christian life hacks #jeshus #it worked! my 2 year old hasn't stopped swimming for 3 weeks #life hacks from god himself

only 🙌 facts 💯 in this house 🏡 🔥🔥

#christian #jesus #christ #bible #it ain't neat to beat the meat #christian mom #the only thing i beat is my own children bless up #no puffing satan's cabbage

Storytime

I saw Suziana eating some gluten-imprisoned, honey-pulled-porked-roasted-nut cheereos BEFORE comUniON. that is illEGAL!!1!1!! she knOWS its bad for her health and that you do NOT eat before enjOYING the bLoOD and BODY of christOpher! Her disrespectful ass better go to heLL w Susan, Suzan, Süsån, and mitSu(san)bishi!!! God really be out here makin anybody these days... smh

#smh (shittily manufactured heathens)#gluten incarceration #süzan #free-the-gluten #jake paul #ben glutin-ro #godbod #meat #cheerios #jeesuz

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life hacks jesus would want you to know!!1!