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[lifeishardthing]

you cannot run away from relationship just because you are afraid that someone will hurt you first, you are enough for someone to love you

[lifeishardthing]

Byliśmy kolegami i pewnie gdyby tak zostało życie byłoby prostsze, ale podobno nie o to chodzi w życiu... żeby było łatwo.Tylko, że ja mam dość istnienia wokół którego krążą tylko myśli które zatrzymują mnie przed rozwojem.Byles pierwszym...pierwszym przy którym czułam się inaczej, lepiej.Przy tobie czułam że żyje i miałam siłę codziennie walczyć.Chcialam odkrywać nowe rzeczy i byłeś pierwszym któremu zaufałam, zaufałam, że ktoś może mnie polubić za to jaka jestem.Od 3 dni czuję pustkę, przedzierająca mnie z każdej strony, czuję się jak zużyta bateria, jakbym wypiła środek żrący który tak bardzo mnie wypala, że zaczynam znikać.Nie wiem dlaczego wmawiasz mi że wszystko jest dobrze, kiedy widzę że nie jest i dlaczego ktoś nie może mnie po prostu kochać.Nie wiem czy zerwać kontakt z tobą i zmarnować szansę na to że jeszcze może być dobrze...raczej nadzieję. Zrobiłam sobie krzywdę, nie przez ciebie.Przez myśli które nie dają mi spokoju bo zmiana najdrobniejszej rzeczy w twoim zachowaniu powoduje że chce zniknąć, po prostu zniknąć.Tak bardzo chce żebyś napisał, wyznał prawdę, wiem, że może być gorzka, ale chcę tylko prawdy której się obawiam jak niczego innego bo wiem że wtedy mój overthinking będzie poprawny i wszystko zniknie tylko nie ja

[lifeishardthing]

You never really loved me, did you? I spent my days falling in love with the feeling of security I only had when I was with you. I can't let go of you when love isn't enough, but when I hear you say you love me. I was so happy with you, I still miss who we were and I can't cope with the fact that we were just not for each other I can't understand why I was never the reason for you to stay ...

[lifeishardthing]

your lips could say you love me and your mind was saying "destroy her by saying I'm breaking up"

[lifeishardthing]

if you didn't want to hurt me why did you let me choke on the tears you made

[lifeishardthing]

It's strange, I easily told myself that I don't feel anything, but it was hard for me to control my anger when I saw you in the arms of another

[lifeishardthing]

[lifeishardthing]

[lifeishardthing]

are you still here my little boy or is it just a reverberation of the emptiness you left in my soul

[lifeishardthing]

Are you still there my little boy? Have you ever been or is it just my dreams that you held me in as I fell apart

[lifeishardthing]

you are the most beautiful thing that has happened to me, but it is the loss of the most beautiful thing that hurts the most

[lifeishardthing]

I miss the times when the feeling of happiness didn't seem so sad and foreign

[lifeishardthing]

He was like everything that I missed for years. He was the one piece of soul that I was constantly looking for. It's so strange that you can meet the person where all your sorrows go away. I was afraid that I would lose him and he would take my honor with him and I would not find her anymore. He was like the sun after a storm. I waited for him like flowers that will be able to break out of the ground after winter. He was like a bottle of wine to me, I wanted him more with each one. I loved him because he wanted to know everything about me. He asked what color I like, not what my skirt has. I wanted to do everything with him and at the same time nothing because he was enough for me. I cared about him like dry earth in the rain. He could do something with me that no one had ever done before, he was with me but at the same time I was afraid he would leave me. Like a wind that I want to catch, but you can't catch it. He just looked like my love, it sounds so easy, but what I felt about him was something I couldn't explain. I wanted him to feel valuable and loved. I would like to give him everything I had, because I thought that I was not enough for him. I never went back to the film twice but he was the one I could watch endlessly. My little boy ...

[luthienne]

Adonis, Selected Poems; “Beginnings of the Body, Ends of the Sea” (tr. Khaled Mattawa)

[skyliine]

[lifeishardthing]

The sun loved

The moon so much

He died every night

To let her breathe

[lifeishardthing]

loving someone is giving someone a burning soul just to put out the light