Proverbs 3: 5-6
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@lifewithboity
Proverbs 3: 5-6
I’ve come to realise that I have been spending so much of my time trying to create my own path for this thing called life. I have been trying to organise and plan it so much, that each time something small didn’t turn out the way I had anticipated it to, I’d slowly find myself believing that there was something wrong with me. (Generational curse)
I have been fighting for my education, to be able to go to a university and work towards getting my degree or even better, a masters, and all I’ve been getting, are either rejections, being placed on the waiting list, or getting accepted but not having the finances at that particular moment.
I have been fighting for my finances, applying left and right for jobs and getting no responses back.
I have been fighting for love, fighting for someone to be mine and only mine, and instead what I got was rejection from him.
I have been trying to control my life, who comes in and out, and at the end of the day, I’m all alone with no friends, and not close relationship with any of my family members.
Here’s the twist.
I’ve come to realise that what I’ve been doing wrong, all along, was to try to control my life, whereas all I needed was direction. All I needed was someone to guide me, to create the path for me , to lead me to where I am destined to be, to show me the door that’s waiting for me to open it. A door of abundance, a door of blessings, a door of joy and happiness, a door of financial breakthrough, a door of endless possibilities,
All I need, is for God to guide me, and I will walk in his path.
I am taking this time, to stay away from specific social media platforms because I want to block out the distraction and focus on my growth and my healing process. I’m dedicating this time to me and God.
To say that I’ve been in the pits of life is an understatement.
I’ve lost touch with a lot of things including myself. I kept convincing myself that “I’m back”and “I’ve got this” but when in all honesty, I wasn’t okay.
I guess I thought I was okay with the sudden change in my life. I kept convincing myself that I’ve accepted everything and we move. LOL I didn’t deal/ face my problems like a man. (Or a woman ig)
Before having a baby, I wasn’t really one to go out to clubs and all that, but I would go out for dates at a restaurant, or maybe a museum. I was 100000% confident in my body and felt SUPER SEXY??? I was obsessed with snapping pictures of how good I look in a particular outfit , or even on my crusty days. After I got a baby, I tried by all means to still feel sexy. I didn’t workout, but my postpartum body wasn’t really bad. I still looked beautiful, I just had to get used to the stretch marks that I got after the baby weight.
I hid myself from the world and deleted all of my social media accounts. I also deleted my previous friends numbers and changed locations as well. I didn’t want anyone to know where I was, what I was doing or what was/is currently new in my life. I wouldn’t say I felt ashamed, but rather I didn’t know how to feel. What I didn’t know, until now, was that I actually found myself dealing with PP depression.
I believe that PP depression exists. You slowly find yourself losing touch with reality, with life, with yourself because of the sudden responsibility you have. You shift all your focus to this new person that’s in your life and block out everything else.
I was in a journey towards upgrading my marks so I can re-apply in the next semester , but to be honest, I haven’t touched a book in a week. I really thought that I was done, and that it’s fine if I just stay at home-
YALL, there’s a lot of things I still need to accomplish in life and I NEED to get up and dust myself ATM.
So here I am, AGAIN, trying, AGAIN to be that educated hot mom who is an independent woman.
So here’s to the new week, and trying again 🥂
views.
I like how quiet this area is. I find myself just standing outside our house, looking out on the street and just appreciating the view. Sometimes you’ll see the neighbours walking out their dogs, or letting the kids play out on the streets -
A beautiful scenery.
A new morning mantra
“You can try again, today”.
What is growing up?
Being honest about what you feel , speaking what’s on your mind, being clear about what you want, and being able to say “This is who I am”.
there’s something about wine and rain that I can’t pin point. It’s either a perfect way to end a long day or babies are made.
Anyways, I’m preparing some dinner and I just thought, why not have a glass (or 5) of wine just to unwind?
Also, my red nails are H-O-T hot 🥵 yes? Yes.
I just realised that my first blog entry was just a random blog about self- discovery yet you guys know nothing about me, although I do have a mommy blog, I created this specific blog to share MY own journey.
So here’s a little info about me :
Who is Boity?
•I am 22 years old
• I currently reside in SA
•My pronouns are She/her or they/them
• I’m a pansexual
• I am a mommy to a boy
• A recovering procrastinator
•English/ Sesotho/isiZulu/ a bit of Afrikaans
•On a journey to obtaining the best results to study at either 4 of my preferred universities
• I can’t swim, but I really love water
• I have trypophobia
Interests:
•I spend most of my time Writing / blogging
• I enjoy watching Horror movies more than anything.
•Good in sports, netball to be specific.
•I have a thing for NASA documentaries
• Cooking is my thing WHEN I WANT TO.
• Music
•A DIY type of girl.
• “I like wine 🍷, I’m the gyal” if you don’t get it, forget about it.
•CannaMomma
Reasons why I created this blog:
To share my journey towards self-discovery
To share my journey on obtaining the best results for varsity
To share my life journey. The Good and bad moments.
To possibly find my life partner who can relate to my posts. 😂 no I’m joking , really
Hi,
Lol.
As my first entry in this blog, I am here to share my journey towards self- discovery. Let’s just say that, there are some things which I was interested in , in the past and I recently just discovered that “it wasn’t really that deep” meaning, I don’t think I really have a passion for them. Lately, I discovered that I enjoy doing handy work. Whether it being assembling something such as a table, a wardrobe or painting the house, putting up wallpaper on the walls- I wanna be bob the builder, basically.
I never thought about these things in the past because I always thought that “it was a Mans job” and then women can’t work in that department. Funny enough, I discovered how much I enjoy doing these things, when I was watching pregnant 💀
So, I recently gave birth, and for the first year, I’ll be with my son and home . There’s a few subjects (HS) subjects that I want to upgrade for varsity, so next year will be my official starting with varsity at my very “big age”.
Stay tuned for updates, and crying moments, and celebrations of my journey towards “building Boity”
Lol.