my perspective

this is my world, you're all just a guest... and I am just a guest in yours

[lifewithme314]

#ermahgerd https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp_KmaMhoXHRQj56DBtd2rGrSoY3o6m5iTUMts0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=khe1e2ss6kj

[lifewithme314]

#giftsofrecovery #oneyearandcounting https://www.instagram.com/p/Bp-6WPaBV6IWklp2deVFlqqN79gtDjwEgbq-jk0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=9yg4y1x1xu7t

[lifewithme314]

Tattoo #19. This is so symbolic for me because this time last year and for years prior I was a hopeless mess. I thought I didn’t deserve anything good and never thought I would do anything with my life. I thought I was just doomed to be a loser forever. Now I have hope every day and know I’m destined for amazing things. Hold on pain ends! (at Cheap Trx) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpU47sunE7thFyq8HKsE1s_Bd3C2Be4UzcsgPM0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1oov3okdfq4x8

[lifewithme314]

About the only thing I can swallow right now thanks to my glands being swollen #coffeeislife https://www.instagram.com/p/BpKNnTEHmwDYKjKmIhibuXz0kK7GJamQSYFwE40/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1y2orx45lnfxu

[lifewithme314]

Celebrating 11 months clean today and my roommate, as well as co-worker, surprises me with flowers and fudge! This really means the world to me because on days I feel like I’m barely making it I am actually inspiring those who are just like me. What they don’t understand is they are just as inspiring to me 💜 #whateverittakes #11months https://www.instagram.com/p/Bor4JgAHYxHBQygAwlOfkATyzTibYHBj_IiNao0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=163lvc6n14tde

[lifewithme314]

Short shift today but still feel like a zombie. #sixshotespresso (at St. Louis Bread Co.) https://www.instagram.com/p/BomghbcnIkNenOiyIIDBvzKhe_iWC9nE_Q0s8A0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1eigpjnptzri7

[lifewithme314]

Here lately I have been in one hell of a funk. It doesn’t help that life has completely shifted in all ways all at one time. I just had my one on one with my counselor in drug court and worked some of the shit out. I’m thinking some of it is the med change so I’m going back to just one medication...again. I’m seeing my sponsor tomorrow, which is something that needed to be done and is long over due. I need to get back to the schedule of things and not allowing the actions of others to bother me in such a way that I get pushed out of my square. I will get there. First step is realizing there is a problem. I’m on the second step, working towards fixing the problem. #progressnotperfection #whateverittakes #irefusetosink (at St. Louis) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bn6wGUWntfPSvfi77Bp8SB40yz8AxfrAQmPCzc0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1rb36y8o2dt43

[lifewithme314]

Made my own today! Dared the #eightshotespresso challenge. I have to say this is FIRE. When I was told I was going to die, I reminded my coworker I used to do a lot of meth so I will probably be okay 🤣🤣 (at St. Louis Bread Co.) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnor6eFniiXCwaMvCMZ4j0kW6_p29Lb8qmIaU40/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=iowh10yjd07h

[lifewithme314]

Thank you @trevorbokern for helping to cure my case of the Mondays #mycrewisbetterthanyours #quadshot #effmondays #opengame (at St. Louis Bread Co.) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bni1e2cHvSpch9By9Cbp7EXolEyrJ1qZAaTCFQ0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ifax44rrpslj

[lifewithme314]

Yay! Coffee by my favorite Hippy. Thanks @trevorbokern oh and don’t mind my manager @alikatt18 she just wanted to relish in the magical coffee splendor (at St. Louis Bread Co.) https://www.instagram.com/p/BngXVKoHvhVx6QrQ1G2euZ8beYlhzCsfH8P0wI0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=267e5oqwgyj9

[lifewithme314]

Ten months ago I was a fucking mess. I had been up for a few days and was sleeping in the holding tank at the St. Louis City Justice Center at about this time. Ten months ago I had NO IDEA what was going to happen in my life nor did I really care. I was defeated and depressed. I was hopeless and lost. Ten months ago today I was a completely different person with a whole different mindset. Today life is completely different. As I celebrate ten months clean today, I have reflected on how much I have grown and how far I have come. Instead of being a lost girl, I am evolving into a strong woman. I am working a program and have found an amazing support system, my tribe. I’m actively involved in the lives of my children and I work a full time job. Some days are rough, but most days are amazing. No matter what, it is all beautiful. I no longer feel like I need something to numb the pain on the bad days, or desire to search something to help me hide from life. I face life head on and am learning how to deal with life on life’s terms. It’s not always easy but it is all so worth it. #whateverittakes #justsarah #justme #irefusetosink (at St. Louis) https://www.instagram.com/p/BnfWbJyH_1AxG_ooxOjgAWVyIS3MYTD44TpB8w0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=179lqmxg0bmir

[lifewithme314]

Just got home from an HA meeting at the Harris house and now I’m back at the house with my girls about to zone out on some Shameless. I def needed a meeting in my life tonite cause shit has me straight tripping and irked. But no matter what, I got this shit for real. #whateverittakes #justsarah #justme #irefusetosink (at St. Louis) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bnc0dRtBEoZ_feplO5K47Bh7SqBNYkABLjrb5A0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1fhnfkbta39wl

[lifewithme314]

That moment when you are home after a great day spent in recovery. #shameless https://www.instagram.com/p/BnaR3jfHiNHWdqvYt4MmopHEQc9hpUoHEztpw80/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=accl6w27hiq3

[lifewithme314]

Headed to the Drug Court picnic with my fam 💜💜💜 https://www.instagram.com/p/BnZZLJ-nJ97yxv6FtjSXdcOVorFOSZR_DkdF780/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=lwpqc43tij9y

[lifewithme314]

Iced caramel macchiato quad shot on the left for me 😍 some pumpkin spice bullshit on the right for @taylormarie3537 🤢 regardless I love my bestie cause she gets coffee is life. She even made sure I had a quad shot before she paid 🤣 #shegetsit #mybestieisbetterthanyours (at St. Louis) https://www.instagram.com/p/BnZRTs3nfFGiaO5ezi3dKOarJrKR0Dnt8jP4sc0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1o5snzvysoy5u

[lifewithme314]

Headed to pick up my bestie for treatment, then group, then Drug Court picnic with the boys then the Gift tonite!!! #whateverittakes #justme #justsarah https://www.instagram.com/p/BnZGMfdHd_Jom6g8tzFTsO1RGmoHqGK8gSgkd40/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1dknrzhffqrp7

[lifewithme314]

First photo is today. Second one is a year ago today and third one is two years ago today. I’m almost grateful for the fact that I took so many pics of myself while in active addiction because they are reminders. Actual physical reminders on the rough days that I am way better off now than when I was using. I always justified my use with stupid reasons. I needed more hours in the day. I was anxious and meth made me not be anxious. Blah blah blah. I still need more hours in my day, but that just means I need to schedule my time better. I still have social anxiety but that just means I need step outside my box and actually speak up and speak to others. I am living proof that we do recover and I will continue to not bet anonymous. #whateverittakes #irefusetosink #justme #justsarah #lovethislife #wedorecover https://www.instagram.com/p/BnX_J-uHi0-COXAVOl3pTZYA0mBX9ivk_SQjcg0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=161l9kjy86kj5