amongst the stars ✨✨

[lighteningblue]

Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me

[lighteningblue]

Because you're a horrible person you deserve everything you're getting

[lighteningblue]

In this year, say no to being a pushover

[lighteningblue]

Why doesn't anyone ever listen to me

[lighteningblue]

the world is so full of people yet there's loneliness

[lighteningblue]

There's really no one I can truly share my problems with, no one but myself

[lighteningblue]

I left home because I thought it was going to give me the peace of mind that I so much desired, I got a semblance of it for a month? two? but sadness was creeping insidiously over the false layers of happiness that I had piled, I made new enemies by leaving, they couldn't believe my gut, I was strong on the outside but my insides were crumbled, shattered. I moved around a shadow of who I've never been but have always wanted to be and in every gathering I found myself, in every company I found myself, be it of sapiens or of trees, of birds or of worms, I looked for warmth.

The world has become so cold to me, what I desire even more than peace of mind is warmth.

[lighteningblue]

It's so fucking hard to breathe but okay

[lighteningblue]

Look, I love every single one of you

And I hate that I treat you like trash

It's just sometimes I can't help it, I hope that you can hold onto me till I get through

And if I don't, I hope you choose you and let me go

[lighteningblue]

These days all I do is regret 😭

[lighteningblue]

One day you'll come looking for me and I'll be gone

You can say whatever then but now is the time that I wish you'd look into my eyes and see beyond my fake smiles

You'll look past my happy demeanor and see my pain and inner struggles

Now is the time I wish you'd hold my hand and help me stand tall

[lighteningblue]

Laugh now, cry later

[lighteningblue]

I've been thinking of the poem 'morphine' by Heinrich Heine lately.

[lighteningblue]

I made friends with an emotion that burns

now we've made a mess

spilling guts and breaking hearts

setting souls on fire

I am human and impulsive

you made me like this

what can I do about the burning houses

what can I do about the emotion that makes me drill holes deep enough to sink me

No home awaits me when I return

no one awaits my arrival

the emotion has reduced acquitances to ashes

to rest at night I have made a home I shall destroy by morning

-lightening blue 🖋️

[melloncolliegalaxies]

something about gripping fingers instead of empty bottles

and burying heads in necks instead of vacant beds

and nibbling earlobes instead of biting nails on shaky fingers

and inhaling cologne instead of gasping for air

and hearing the words instead of trying to remember what they sound like

and caressing their skin instead of grazing yourself, that makes it hard to be alone.

- "gripping fingers"

[lighteningblue]

[lighteningblue]

I hear death whisper in my ears at night

When all is dark and night birds call from afar

When she walks in, a chill spreads through the room.

-lightening blue🖋️

[lighteningblue]

Scars are proof that we survived!!