your boyfriend is banned
t.fushiguro x f!reader (req by irl friend)
the second you walked into your favorite café, something felt... off.
the cashier looked up from the register and immediately sighed.
"...he's with you, isn't he?"
you frowned.
"who?"
instead of answering, she silently pointed behind the counter.
taped to the wall, right next to the employee schedule, was a laminated picture of your boyfriend.
🚫 banned 🚫
you blinked.
"..."
"..."
"...why is toji on your wall?"
before the cashier could answer, the front door chimed.
speak of the devil.
toji walked in with one hand in his pocket and glanced around the café before spotting you.
"hey."
you pointed at the sign.
"...care to explain?"
he looked at it.
"..."
"...that's still up?"
you slowly turned your head toward him. "still?"
he rubbed the back of his neck. "thought they'd have taken it down by now."
"toji."
"what?"
"what did you do?"
the cashier raised her hand. "would you like the short version or the long version?"
you didn't even hesitate. "the long one."
toji sighed. "...seriously?"
"you've clearly earned it."
the cashier smiled. "it started about three months ago. he came in every morning and ordered the exact same thing."
"large black coffee," toji muttered.
"correct."
"okay...?"
"the problem wasn't the coffee."
"then what was it?"
the cashier looked directly at toji. "he kept reaching over the counter to grab his own lid."
toji blinked. "they're right there."
"...because employees are supposed to hand them to customers."
"that seems inefficient."
you let out a small scoff, bringing a hand up to your forehead. "toji."
"what?"
"after we asked him to stop..."
the cashier reached under the register and pulled out a laminated sheet.
it read:
please do not reach behind the counter.
you stared.
"...you made a sign because of him?"
"we had to."
toji looked offended. "one sign."
the cashier looked at you. "and he ignored it!"
"oh…." you said, trying not to laugh. "that's not ban-worthy."
"oh, we're not done."
you covered your face. "there's more?"
the cashier nodded.
"a customer asked if he worked here."
you looked at toji.
"..."
"...don't."
"toji."
"..."
"...i said yes."
"WHY?"
"they already started asking me questions."
"you could've said you didn't work here."
"felt rude."
the cashier jumped in. "he spent ten minutes helping people find things."
you tilted your head, furrowing your brows in slight confusion. "but that's... nice?"
"he was confidently wrong."
toji frowned.
"i wasn't that wrong."
"you sent someone looking for oat milk in the pet food aisle."
"..."
"...close enough."
"toji!"
by this point, you were crying laughing.
he looked at you.
"you're supposed to be on my side."
"i'm trying."
"you're failing."
"i know."
the cashier wasn't finished.
"then came the sugar packets."
toji immediately looked away.
"..."
you didn’t even bother to hide your amused expression at this point. "how many?"
"guess."
"ten?"
"..."
"twenty?"
"..."
"...toji."
"they're free."
"HOW MANY?"
"...thirty."
the cashier coughed.
"thirty-eight."
"same difference."
"that's an entire box!"
"i was gonna use them."
"for what?"
he shrugged.
"coffee."
"for the next six months?"
"inflation."
you stared at him.
"you don't even put sugar in your coffee."
"..."
"it was for you ."
the cashier laughed.
"after that, the manager decided enough was enough."
she pointed to the picture again.
"so now..."
🚫 do not serve until supervised by girlfriend 🚫
you blinked.
"...wait."
you walked closer.
"...that's what it says?"
toji looked at the sign.
"..."
"...they changed it."
the cashier smiled proudly.
"last week."
"why?"
she looked at you.
"because every time he comes in with you..."
she gestured toward toji.
"...he behaves."
you slowly turned to your boyfriend.
"am i basically your parole officer?"
"looks like it."
you laughed so hard you had to grab the counter for support. "i cannot believe this."
toji looked genuinely confused. "i still think they're overreacting."
the cashier slid your usual drink onto the counter. "watch this."
she looked at toji. "would you like any sugar?"
toji opened his mouth.
you gave him a look.
"..."
"...no."
"napkins?"
he glanced at you again.
"...one."
the cashier smiled.
"see?"
you shook your head.
"he's house-trained."
"barely," she replied.
toji sighed dramatically.
"you all act like i'm some kind of menace."
at that exact moment, he absentmindedly reached behind the counter to grab a straw.
three employees shouted in unison.
"STOP?!"
he froze.
"...right."
slowly, he put the straw back.
"...old habits."
you buried your face in his shoulder, laughing so hard you could barely breathe.
toji looked down at you, a tiny smile tugging at his lips.
"...my bad."
"no," you sighed.
"absolutely not."
he leaned down just enough for only you to hear.
"...you're still buying me a cinnamon roll though, right?"
you looked up at him.
"after everything i just learned?"
"especially after everything you just learned."
you sighed even louder.
"...fine."
a grin spread across his face.
the cashier groaned. "great, now he's rewarded."
toji took your hand as the two of you walked toward the pickup counter.
"...see?"
he said.
"being banned isn't so bad."
you looked at him.
"you're unbelievable."
"yeah."
he squeezed your hand.
"...but you still like me."
"...unfortunately."
"good enough."
errr this was kinda buns but it’s been sitting in the drafts for a while and im sick of looking at it. also i cant decide if i want to write a gojo one shot orrr someone else
