Trans/Enby Confessions

[transenbyconfessions]

Cw: bottom dysphoria

I recently saw what an actual v looks like (I haven’t shaved down there since starting to grow hair four-five years ago because of dysphoria, and before then I wasn’t exactly aware of what it looked like before I was a child) and… oh no. My bottom dysphoria has been steadily growing over the past year as those parts have developed and I’ve started to recognise a v as being it’s own form of genitalia and not just a ‘not p’ (I’m nonbinary and having that would be absolutely terrible for me)

I don’t want this… this thing. Why do I have to suffer with this for the rest of my life. Why the fuck did I have to be born like this. It’s fucking disgusting to have these genitals and the idea that I’m never going to fix it… just, fuck

Submitted July 16, 2023

[transenbyconfessions]

whenever I think of my younger self, I always subconsciously call them “the flower child”.

my deadname is a flower (and a color), so it makes sense. I think it’s just a cool cryptic way to refer to my past self

Submitted July 16, 2023

[transenbyconfessions]

I didn't have this problem before, but I started to get those annoying impulsive thoughts to misgender people... It's like another voice in my head speaking over mine each time a gendered language appears. I even misgender myself, and I would understand if it was only me, because I have to do it around my family anyway. But other people? I'm kind of afraid I'll misgender them out loud one day. Like wtf, if I could control it, I would never do that

Submitted July 16, 2023

[transenbyconfessions]

Sometimes I touch my chest and it just feels… weird? Like it’s there, attached to my body, but it doesn’t feel mine like touching my arm does. I’m currently in a low dysphoria phase (fluctuating dysphoria team let’s go) and this kind of dysphoria is quite unfamiliar to me because during mid/high dysphoria phases so much as brushing against mg chest sends alarm bells ringing in my brain. I have heard it happening to other people though

Submitted July 16, 2023

[transenbyconfessions]

Gender is fake, do what makes you happy.

Submitted July 16, 2023

[transenbyconfessions]

I need to be a stereotypical frat boy (but in a nice, respectful way) and I’m actually stupidly upset that that will never be a thing for me

Submitted July 16, 2023

[transenbyconfessions]

I'm a nonbinary adult, AFAB, living with my sister and Grandmother. Whenever I hear people talk about me it's always "she, her, ma'am". My sister is the only one in my family who knows and respects my identity; my grandmother doesn't know even though she is accepting of queer people of every flavour we have discussed, even accepting my sister's and my own sexualities, whereas my parents are more conservative. My mom acts like my identity is an insult or a result of her not raising my sister and I right, whereas my dad straight up said my identity is wrong and grammatically invalid (speaking to an English major that's bullcrap). My friends accept me, but they're so far away that their affection feels distant compared to my parents knowingly invalidating me and my job and grandmother unknowingly doing so. I wish that it was more accepted to be nonbinary, to have people accept that being outside boy/girl wasn't a disease or fad or lie created by the media, as it hurts every time to hear my dad say "girlie" like he has since I was a kid, or "ma'am" when I'm working with customers, or "she" when I'm in the same room as most of my family members.

Submitted July 16, 2023

[transenbyconfessions]

I used to be anti neopronouns, and I thought they/them was just the better of the two options...

(Hello, I'm it/any now.)

Submitted July 16th 2023

[transenbyconfessions]

I wish i knew more trans women like me. Well, I want to know more trans women in general, but I wish i knew more poc trans women like me. I'm Puerto Rican, but grew up stateside to an incredibly americanized family. I don't fit in with other boricuas well. I don't even speak Spanish even though I grew up with it. White people tend to assume I'm white too, and even though other latinos recognize me as latina it's still hard to fit in. The most boricua thing about me is my hair and the way I say the word "pastelillo", it seems. By being transgender as well, it means I've never met anyone I truly fit in with or seems to be like me. It almost seems like every transfem ever is white, and it's hard to talk to them about poc things. I can't even enjoy picrews bc so many cater exclusively to white people by not including darker skin tones or curly hair. Most of the time, they don't look like me. They look like me IF I was white. Yet I'm not sure if I'll belong with other latinos either considering how yanqui i am. I've been called a gringa before by internet latinoamericanos, and who knows what else they would've called me if they knew I was trans.

Submitted July 16, 2023

[transenbyconfessions]

I love being trans I love being a tranny I love my tranny body I love my dick I love my tits being trans isn't a problem other people are a problem.

Submitted July 16, 2023

[transenbyconfessions]

I am russian and not so long ago a transphobic bill was passed in my country that bans trans people from any kind of transitioning, it means that as long as I'm here I won't be able to start hrt, change gender markers in my documents or get any kind of gender affirming surgery.

I'm thinking about moving to Canada after I finish college, I'm 16 now and I'll be 19 by the time Im done. I must start preparing for it now so I could move by the time I'm 21. This is my only chance to live a life I'm longing for, I don't have a choice here.

Submitted July 16, 2023

[transenbyconfessions]

I looked through my old art and I found out a reference sheet for a character that was my OC for some time-

I. I just realized that I made a gender ambiguous character at 10 years old. Before I even understood that gay people exist. I didn't know that the term I needed was "nonbinary" and so I always said that I had no idea what gender my character has. "Girl" or "boy" didn't feel right for them.

Yeah and.. that character has a name that I'm planning to do by nowadays which is.. what

I used to think that my nonbinary-ness(???) came out of nowhere and that I wouldn't have discovered it if not for the internet, but this oc kind of proves me wrong. I guess I don't remember my early childhood at all, so I may have been nonbinary from the very start- That makes a lot of sense, actually

Submitted July 16, 2023

[transenbyconfessions]

I thought Xenogender/Neogender wore just made up for attention or by the mentally ill.

(Hello, my gender is treeboy.)

Submitted July 16, 2023

[transenbyconfessions]

I used to not understand how someone could be trans without dysphoria.

(I now no trans individuals without gender dysphoria and respect/understand them.)

Submitted July 16, 2023

[transenbyconfessions]

i wish i wasnt fucking dysphoric dude oh my god. one of the most frustrating things about the space of trans ppl i exist in on the internet (tumblr specifically) is that theres this weird implied idea that if youre dysphoric you Simply Shouldn't Be. like sorry but saying "just be a man with boobs!" to me is like saying "just stop being depressed!"

like just because that mindset works for you (alleviates your dysphoria, helps validate your gender, etc) doesn't mean it works for everyone! dysphoric trans people aren't stupid for being dysphoric, its literally something we cant control.

maybe this is just me, and nobody seeing this relates but i just need to get it out. trying to talk about my dysphoria can sometimes get really difficult, i mean ive literally had mutuals ask if i was a transmed JUST because i was venting abt dysphoria. and like i purposefully try to word myself very carefully to make sure im talking about MY issues with MY body, and nobody elses, and yet 🤷‍♂️

people act like because i hate my chest and genitals means i hate literally every trans person that likes their body as is, its so annoying. like actually im fucking jealous of them dude i wish i could be even slightly more comfortable with my body.

idk maybe this is dumb i just needed to rant lol

Submitted July 16, 2023

[transenbyconfessions]

How do you start researching surgery? I really think I want a meta but I have no idea how to start looking, what to avoid, ext.

Submitted July 15, 2023

[transenbyconfessions]

Cw: nsfw content mention

I noticed that on here, nsfw is often trans related. Honestly it's really comforting to read something nsfw and have it casually be t4t or mention someone with he/him pronouns having a vagina and stuff. I think i personally see more trans-made nsfw on here then cis-made lmaoo

Submitted July 15, 2023