Give it Light, Love and a little Wit

What is common sense to me, seems to be unheard-of to others. I have strong opinions but I know that I'm not right but nor am I wrong. I have my beliefs and I feel that I need to share them. I hope that by sharing them, I can enlighten someone somewhere. If not then this is just a place a can rant/bitch/yell/get crap off my mind.

[lightnlovenwit]

It should take you four seconds to walk to that door, I'll give you two

Holly Golightly, Breakfast at Tiffany's

 - Audrey Hepburn

[lightnlovenwit]

Lack of communication is humanity's greatest flaw. It is everywhere, in everything, in everyone. At work, school, family, friends, media etc. Everyday there are thousands of people at work being scolded because they didn't know something, because their job has no inherent procedure for communication - i.e. email - memos - texts - message boards - huddles... -

Everyday there are thousands of students getting bad grades because or detention because they missed the previous class because of illness/appts/other teachers. The child comes to class unaware of assignments due, activities to take place, etc. and the child is the one who takes the heat because the teachers/office staff don't have a procedure for communication either.

Everyday there are families/relationships in turmoil because someone forgot to tell another person an important message or to-do list. When a relationship is first starting, the communication level is at it's worst. One person says they don't want kids, but they don't say -not ever-. They should've said they don't want kids -right now-. Kids, marriage, faith, beliefs, habits...these are the things that make and break relationships. Whether they are just beginning or it's a mom/child relationship. Granted, each relationship is dealt with differently, but the communication is still the same.

The point of me ranting about communication is because I have decided that honesty is the best policy. When I ask my boyfriend a question, I want him to answer truthfully and honestly, no matter how brutal it may be. I asked the question, I should be able to handle the answer I'm given. I would hope that he feels the same way.

My relationship with Mike is brand new, and we've already had our first "blow out fight", By "blow out fight" I mean, because of the lack of communication, and what we each want wasn't clear, I 'broke up' with him. After we talked and aired out our feelings/wants/needs, we're still together and taking it one day at a time. Normally he kisses me before he leaves for work in the morning, this morning he didn't. My heart sank a little and my brain automatically goes to 'he's mad'. About what? I don't know.

Eventually our communication between the two of us will get better. If our 'blow out fight' is a testament to anything, it would be to the fact that neither of us wants to be without the other. We are so different from each other, but somehow, we fit and we don't have to force it. We're comfortable in our own skins and we don't have to pretend to be something we're not.

[lightnlovenwit]

Another piece of my heart.

When a relationship ends no matter how short or long it was, both people hurt not just one. Why stay together when you are searching for different things? I want kids, you have two already and don't want anymore? I believe in God and a greater power, you tell me you think it's bullshit, corrupt and irrelevant. To me that means you are telling me that part of me is bullshit, corrupt and irrelevant. I never cared that your childhood was filled with anger, DHS, CPS and losing your family because your parents didn't want you. But for you to use that as an excuse at the age of 27 for your lack of commitment/family values/you're not a 'baby person' is weak.

To characterize me by where I live is also weak. Yes I live in rural Iowa and not in a city. I like my small towns and close-nit communities. I'm sorry that you don't like it, but you moved here not me. I've lived here my entire life. And to say that people around here are all the same? I take that as a complement. We have values and morals and a sense of self-worth. You have all those qualities too but in different proportions and quantities.

I can't be with someone who yells at me for believing in God and Jesus and all that entails. You looked at me with disappointment when I said I wanted kids. You made me feel insufficient and I didn't like it. You were technically still married and when I told you that it mattered to me, you told me that I was stupid. I didn't feel loved when I was with you. And the fact that we had been together for a while and my sister calls to tell me that you messaged her on OkCupid wasn't ok. You told me once that everyone in your life had used you. You said that you don't like people who use others, but you used me.

It's in the past now, as Rafiki says in The Lion King, "The past can hurt, but you can either run from it or learn from it." I'm choosing to learn from the time we had together. I hope and I pray that you find someone who loves you and treats you well.

[lomasdope]

[lightnlovenwit]

Communication is humanity's flaw.

Today is another day, and so is tomorrow. But in this moment, I don't know what I'm doing. I have a man in my life that does what almost every other guy does; he doesn't articulate what he's thinking/feeling. Which makes it really hard to ascertain where I stand in our "relationship". This man that I'm griping about is the same man from my previous post -Bad Day-.

I am so uncertain of things right now and I have come to the conclusion that I don't like how that feels. I'm the type of person that wants the details, so I can't paint the whole picture. Not just the general sense of the portrait to be painted because that leaves too much to the imagination and let's be honest, women don't do well when left alone with their imaginations. They tend to run wild and crazy, which leads to overthinking, which leads to creating problems that aren't even real! So a fight ensues based on something that a woman's imagination concocted all because the man won't/can't articulate his thoughts/feelings/wants/needs to the woman. Who else are you supposed to tell those things to if not your significant other. She won't judge you, and you the man, should judge her either.

Communication is humanity's biggest flaw, or rather the lack thereof. When you can walk into a room and feel the tension, you know something is up. But when asked if everything is ok, we jump to our failsafe; it's fine. Granted sometimes everything is fine, but I'm willing to guess that oh say 60% of the time everything is not fine. I know I'm low balling with that percent but I'm giving humanity the benefit of the doubt here. When things aren't fine, who are you supposed to let it out to? A therapist that charges $100 an hour OR (my choice) your significant other. Other than the physical aspect of a relationship, the other part is talking and sharing. Why does that seem so difficult?

[babwgirl]

[lightnlovenwit]

Bad day

Is it really so hard to understand that I want you all to myself? Men are so aggravating! And to top it off, we aren't even technically together! He's still married (waiting for the divorce papers) and he's not used to having someone in his life that truly cares...well get used to it! He asked me in a text message if I wanted to be his girlfriend...he's almost 27. He is an amazing man, he loves his son more than anything and he basically raised himself. He truly is amazing. We haven't known each other very long, and I've totally fallen head over heals. My brain has gone into "Red Alert Mode" but my heart tells me that my brain needs to get with the program. Every time I'm with him, and every time I'm not, it feels right to have him in my life. Why is every feckin thing that you want with every fiber of your being, beat of your heart and breath you take, have to be so G.D. DIFFICULT!!! AAAHHHHH!!! Well that's my 'rant' for the time being, I should probably get back to work 😒😧

[lightnlovenwit]

Dating? you've got to be kidding me...

I truly believe that I was born in the wrong era. What happened to approaching someone in public and asking them for a date? Granted some go about it the wrong way with the cheesy pick-up lines or the "creeper stare", but seriously...why is it that when we speak of 'dating' the first thing people think of is hooking up, a.k.a. having sex. I want an actual date.

Ask me on a date - set a time to pick me up - show up at agreed time to my home and take me on arranged date. We have a good time talking, getting to know each other and at the end of the night a good night kiss. Then call the next day because you had such a good time with me and would like another date. I would like to be wooed, yes I know that sounds cheesy/ridiculous. I want to be pursued, sought after, thought about every second, I want to be wanted. The question is, does a man like this exist? And if he does, will we find each other?

[lightnlovenwit]

Never let anyone make you feel inferior without your consent

Eleanor Roosevelt