Kurt Elizabeth

Husband, Father, Actor and very, very confused.

[lightscamerafashicn-archived]

Text: Hummelberry

Kurt: Rachel? Can we talk for a minute?

Kurt: I really could use an ear..

[militarycrab-blog]

Unplanned || Kurtbastian

[lightscamerafashicn-archived]

militarycrab :

“You obviously don’t know at what for ungodly hours I wake up.” He laughed. Sebastian let his finger run over the rim of his cup. He could feel Kurt’s eyes on him again, but couldn’t say anything about it. It felt like there was an unwritten rule between them now, where Kurt could stare and try to figure things out and he’d just take a sip from his coffee, pretending to not notice.It’s not like he hadn’t gotten used to it after those months with Blaine. At least time he had some coffee to pretend to be occupied with, this time. 

He shouldn’t have said anything. He knew it the moment he had said it, but there was no way of taking back the words that had sounded so well chosen in his head. But then again tact hadn’t always been Sebastian’s strongest side. With a soft sigh he wrapped his fingers around his warm cup. On one side he wished he had the ability to keep his mouth shut. But maybe, just maybe, it was good to finally say the words he was going to say out loud. 

“I’m not a jealous guy. I know that’s what all the jealous people say, but…” Que the awkward laugh. The laugh that told the world he was definitely not made for conversations like this one. This would be around the right time to go back to holy grain kind of snark. “It’s…surprisingly also not the strangest thing about this whole situation.”

“This would have been a whole lot easier if I just didn’t like you.” 

Kurt couldn’t possibly be more folded into himself as he sat perched on his stool.  He laughed because Sebastian did and even if both of them knew it was because he was trying to lighten the mood, going along with it was easier than not.  Or maybe it was just an uncomfortable sort of laugh?  Reading someone he barely knew was taxing but his astute observation from the corners of his eyes of the man beside him did trigger something.  He knew that look on Sebastian’s face.  Because he was so used to making it himself.  His own version for his own reasons.  But how far off could they be?

Hearing about jealousy, or the lack thereof, made his stomach tighten a little.  How true was it? He wanted to believe Sebastian.  That he was understanding and would give him the amount of time he needed to properly get over this.  He just wasn’t sure.  Not yet anyway.  Not with knowing that the person who Sebastian actually came here to see wasn’t going to come home anytime soon.  Kurt wondered maybe if at all.  

Bringing that up wasn’t going to do him or his case any good.  So, he didn’t..for now maybe..and just continued on with the conversation.  Bottom lip jutting out as he toyed with the edge of his mug handle in thought on what to say next.  After a brief pause, he found his words again (his wits were still a little scattered..and had been since he opened the door..) and cleared his throat.  “I guess it’s a lot nicer that you do like me.  I mean..  This would feel impossible if you didn’t.  Even if I haven’t given you any reason to..and absolutely none to trust me.  It’s just..I don’t like hurting people. Lately, that feels like it’s about all I do..and I’m just trying how to figure out not to.”  Shoulders hitched in a shrug and he peeked over at Sebastian again.

“Most of the time?  I just want to go back home, you know..?”

[militarycrab-blog]

Unplanned || Kurtbastian

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sebastian;;

Sebastian knew insecurity when he heard it, and this was definitely it. It had been a quality he had once used to find out other’s weak spots. Now, it brought another feeling. One that told him that maybe things weren’t exactly as he had interpreted them. Now would be a good time to shut your mouth, Smythe. “I mean, it’s all relative. There’s no rulebook for situations like these. I kinda wish there was. Someone telling me what to do right now would come in pretty handy.” A short laugh escaped him. He didn’t mind being interrupted by the sound of the coffee machine. 

“If I had machines like these, I’d probably be addicted, too.” The familiar scent filled his nostrils and immediately brought his smile back. There weren’t many things that a good cup of coffee couldn’t make just a little bit better. Especially good coffee like this. “You’re going to have to look out with giving me the good stuff, you don’t want me for my morning cup here every morning.” 

For the first time in what felt like ages, Sebastian let out an honest to God laugh. Despite the awkwardness of it all (telling someone what they should remember was probably nothing he’d ever get used to), it still felt very familiar. They had never been the ones to share deep feelings or secrets, but it hadn’t been the first time it had ended with the two of them making conversation. “Are you kidding me? Having someone who will dish it out to me on the same level is like finding the Holy Grail.”

“It must be weird for you,” he suddenly realized, “getting to know me, knowing that I… am with someone you…” love “…care about.”

“You showing up for coffee every morning wouldn’t even be the weirdest thing that’s happened lately.  So, by all means.  Enjoy.”  Fingertips toyed with the warm ceramic sat between them.  How did things become so out there that the husband of the boy you were in love with coming by for a morning coffee run wouldn’t be the strangest of the strange things going on around you?  Yet?  Here they were and it wasn’t.  The idea was equally mind boggling and hilarious in a masochistic sort of way.  All Kurt could do was smile and sip his drink, glad it was there for when words ran dry.

So they were both professionals at dishing out the sarcasm?  What a common ground to bond over!  Well.  Other than the obvious that he’d rather not think about.  You know, them both being in love with the same person.  Only...the person in question was the one Kurt considered his. Or was Blaine not his anymore?  Shutting that train of thought down, Kurt mused over the idea of ‘finding the Holy Grail’ level of snark capacity that apparently both of them shared with a hum and a crooked smile instead.  In his head? He was trying to piece together why they would have a reason to have done that in the past.  Sebastian seemed a nice enough person.  No amount of watching him gave Kurt the dawning of realization he was looking for.  He reminded himself to blink and look away before he stared so long it got creepy.

Thank God he returned his attention back to the contents of his cup when he did.  His distraction and focus on witty retorts he couldn’t remember was slammed so hard against a brick wall, if it’d been his face planting there?  He’d have come away with missing teeth and a broken nose. Care about?  You could say that.  More like love and you and I both know it.  Swallowing hard enough that it pinched his eyebrows together, Kurt quickly darted to speak rather than sit there speechless.  When he did, it was with a staggering start he was instantly mad at himself for having.

“I-I,” he licked his lips, cocked an elbow up on the counter and palmed the wet off his mouth. Fingers wriggled in the air near his cheek before his hand fell back to the countertop and he seemed to draw further into himself when the other hand was put between his knees and they both drew in to hold it tightly in place.  “It’s weird to put it lightly.  I’m sorry I haven’t been able to shut that part off yet.  It seems to be what everyone needs.  Maybe even him and I’m trying.  I really am.  But.  It’s just hard,” shaking his head and keeping his gaze locked on his fingers that traced the edge of a tile covering the counter, Kurt found himself at a loss for words.  Great. Just great.

[lightscamerafashicn-archived]

david;;

At first, he had barely been able to sleep. How could he? H held tightly onto Kurt, desperately hoping that Kurt wouldn’t disappear - - or worse, he wouldn’t disappear. He couldn’t imagine what would happen if he too had the same fate as Kurt. Dave buried his face against Kurt’s shoulder, praying it didn’t freak Kurt out too much. Sure, he was in love with Kurt, his Kurt, but in the time he had been with this Kurt, he felt himself falling for this Kurt. It wasn’t cheating in his head, they were the same person, but it was still different.

Eventually, he drifted off to sleep, praying that he wouldn’t loose Kurt - - not again. He lost himself in the dreams, dreams of old times and old memories - - of course, somewhat distorted, especially since the Kurt in those dreams was his mini-Kurt.

Dave felt something. He wasn’t sure what exactly, but he felt something. Something was different, very different. He couldn’t exactly tell if this was a dream or not, but as he heard the yelling, he ended up slowly waking up. The yelling was very much not part of his dream. “Wah-” he blinked, trying to figure out what was going on. There was Kurt, practically on top of him, no, pretty much on top of him. “Kurt?” he mumbled, somewhat confused. He couldn’t completely understand what was going on.

Watching Dave wake up, Kurt’s eyes grew more and more wide as the seconds ticked by.  His David.  Not the David he, just yesterday, was sitting in the Lima Bean with having a conversation about nothing at all--trying to squeeze a little more time with before school started and they had to go to glee club practice. 

No.  This was the David he married, the one he lost before the storm that made him be somewhere else entirely.  Somewhere he’d spent years trying to leave only to be thrown back into his former seventeen year old self where he’d been stuck for so long (for what he was starting to think might be FOREVER).

Hearing his voice as he woke felt like a miracle.  One that made his hands tremble as fingertips fluttered against David’s cheeks as he tried to let it sink in.  “I’m home.  I’m here?  This is real?” Without thinking, without hesitation, a sharp laugh that no doubt confused his husband even more rang through the room.  Tears that were clinging to the corners of his eyes began to fall and inching down, he captured his husband’s mouth in a kiss that was so long overdue he felt his heart might explode now that he had the chance.

[lightscamerafashicn-archived]

david;;

The weather hadn’t predicted this storm. In fact, as far as he was aware, it was supposed to be a sunny day, followed by a clear night. Yet, halfway through the day, when things started to get dim and cloudy, he knew that this wasn’t going to be the case. So he canceled his plans. After all, he could take Kurt out or something like that for Valentine’s day on actual valentines day. It was weird to think that this was going to be his first Valentine with…this Kurt, but he was still excited. Sad he didn’t have his Kurt to celebrate with but excited. 

When he went to bed, that was when the storm started to pick up. If he was really thinking, he would have realized just how eerily similar this storm was to the storm that got them into this situation before, but he didn’t think too hard about it. Once he said his good nights, he was in his own bed, ready to sleep the night away, and mentally become prepared for the coming day. 

Dave saw his room light up, even with closed eyes. He opened his eyes and noticed the shadow. Rubbing them, he looked up to see Kurt standing in front of him, pillow in arm. Without even really thinking or really replying, he pulled back the sheet and comforter, allowing Kurt enough space to crawl in next to him. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you. I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” he murmured sleepily.

When Kurt went to bed that night inside his room listening to his Dad amble up the stairs, the storm was so intense that he left the door cracked open just to feel like his father was--somehow--closer than he would be if it was closed.  As Burt’s shadow passed by, Kurt called out.  He was thirty four years old and seeking comfort from his father?  Could you blame him? The aftermath of one as bad as this one landed him in a world he spent years trying to get out of and finally had.  A chill went up his spine when he thought about it.

Burt peeked into the door.  “I love you, Dad..,” he whispered.  ‘Love you back, son.  Get some sleep..”  Hours later..Kurt wasn’t sure what made him drift off.  Exhaustion maybe but he was grateful for dark swallowing him up and letting him drift off.

Daylight bled into Kurt’s consciousness. His arms were stretched out.  Legs a jumbled mess with another set.  And the chest he half covered while stealing most of the blankets was warm and steadily breathing.  When his eyes opened--Kurt stared at white, sheer curtains of a window shadowed by palm fronds.  The smell.  The feeling.  Home.  If he was dreaming, he could stay this way.  Daring to turn his head and see who he was sleeping on top of--his heart nearly burst. “Dave?”  His Dave. “Dave...?  DAVE!”  Both hands cupped Dave’s cheeks (where was his wedding band?!) and tears filled Kurt’s eyes.  “Wake up!!”

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“Life comes at you fast. It runs through your body and tries to escape and be expressed in any way possible. It’s a lot like lightning.”  -Chris Colfer

Lighting lit up Kurt’s entire bedroom.  Thunder so loud, he swore it shook the house.  Kurt sat in bed, staring out of the bay window with it’s curtains pulled open so the light dancing across the pool could flicker against his ceiling.  Tonight, he wished he would have pulled them shut before going to bed.  Now, blankets balled into two white knuckled fists, blue green eyes stared at each flash like he wished he could be anywhere else but here.

The last time a storm this bad happened...he ended up..

Swallowing thick, Kurt shook his head and slowly stood up.  Holding his pillow against his hip, he made his way down the hallway to Dave’s room and cracked open the door to see the man deep in slumber.  Minutes passed by where Kurt crossed the room to stand in front of the bed debating on whether or not he should wake him.  But with the newest flash of light so bright it lit the room like day, a soft gasp stirred Dave awake and he heard him make a noise that sounded like a question.

“I’m sorry.  Can..  Is it okay if I sleep here tonight?  I’m not normally this bad but..it’s really..,” he cut himself off and bit his lip.  God, he didn’t like showing he was scared.  Ever.  “Please?”

[lightscamerafashicn-archived]

Text || Kurtofsky

Dave: Hey, just letting you know. I may have invited Rachel and Mike over for dinner to discuss possible plans about maybe having vocal lessons for Carter, but also so we could all hang out and stuff, and I just wanted to warn you, so you know, yeah.

Kurt: That sounds great, Dave! I'd like to see them both! Rachel and I haven't seen each other since our lunch last week. I haven't seen Mike since..everything.

Kurt: Are you thinking of asking Rachel to give him his voice lessons?

Kurt: Wait. That was a dumb question.

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david;;

Dave raised an eyebrow. “But you see, that’s part of the game. You have to make it to the end, no matter what you have to do to get there. If I didn’t kill you, someone else would have killed you, you know? You can’t say shit about me putting any kind of diseases on you, considering that you always seem to end up being the necromancer or whatever, and I always end up being stacked on evil disease or whatever it is that you give to everyone,” pointed out. Dave rolled his eyes at Kurt’s comments, though couldn’t help but laugh at Kurt’s points. “So wait a minute. You killed because you wanted to win? Okay Mister double standards, I see what you going at,” he teased. Dave glanced around, and then down at his clothes. “Well then, I hope you’re not planning on coming out of the room then. Because I do have the washing machine at my disposal, and since I didn’t have work today, I can just wash my clothes tonight. Hope you don’t mind nudity,” he teased through the door.

“I see how it is.  Willing to do whatever it takes--including murdering me and laughing at my misfortune--to get to the end of the board.  I’m taking notes, David.  Hey!  I made the smart choice and I never even played that game before. But when in doubt?  Go with the creepy monster that you know is going to let you win.  It worked.  Didn’t it?”  Grinning up at the ceiling, Kurt let his head thunk lightly against the door.  Just to prove he wasn’t going anywhere any time soon.  “I got to take you all out just be standing there.  Sounds pretty ingenious to me.” Hearing muffled laughter, he chuckled in spite of himself.  “You were open game the minute you decided murdering me was okay!  The gloves came off and I murdered you back.  That’s just evening the score,” he taunted back with a pitch in his voice that was tinted with his unending smile.  A brow lifted and he felt his face heat up at the tease.  How dumb of it was to blush at a threat like that whenever the person making it couldn’t even see you?  Still?  He did.  Then rolled his eyes right after and leapt back into snark mode rather than get tongue tied and messy.  “You can walk around however you want.  Seeing as how I got the room to myself?  Have at it.  Or you could just say yes!”  One hand lifted and reached back to touch his fingertips to the door. They tapped expectantly.  “Time’s ticking..  I’m getting sleepy.  Make your choice!”

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david;;

Dave couldn’t help but crack a smile.This felt familiar. He raised an eyebrow as he leaned against the door. “And what, pray tell, is your terms, Kurt? I may not be able to comply if you don’t tell me what they are,” he pointed out. Dave thought for a moment, a chuckle slipping through. “Well you see, we do have a laundry room Kurt, and I do have clothes in said laundry room. So clothing isn’t much of an issue, for the most part,” he explained, hoping that there was indeed clothes for him to wear in the laundry room. Dave thought for a moment. “Hang on, if you’re locking yourself up in there, there’s an issue for you too. You won’t be able to leave to get food or to go to work yourself without unlocking it, and potentially letting me into the room.”

His terms?  Those were the easy part!  “You’re sleeping on the couch.  No ifs, ands, or buts. You murdered me, David Karofsky.  More than once!  And didn’t you give me some sort of infectious disease too?  Even if you didn’t.  I’m blaming you because I do remember you willingly killing me a lot of times.  Or laughing at my misfortune.  Why did you think you got a new name out of the deal?  It suits you!  Don’t you dare bring up my revenge killing.  You deserved that one and I needed to win that round.”  Kurt waited until he was done outlying his terms and by the end of it, it was easy to hear the laughter that he hid behind his hand until he couldn’t anymore.  “I don’t need to eat.  It’s too late for that.  I think there is a bathroom in here.  I’m good in that aspect! Work isn’t until later.  I’m, also, appalled that you think I’d let your clothes lay in the dryer.  I hung them up.  In THE ROOM, David!  The EXACT room I’m sitting in right now!  Go to your couch! I’ll sleep in this damn chair. Don’t think I won’t!”  Oh, he could be stubborn and that was something new and old and never changing.

[teachcjanderson]

Beach Day || Klaine

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blaine;;

Blaine perked up at the idea of there car sessions. “I miss those, it feels like they were just yesterday, but others would argue that point” He smiled softly his hand squeezing Kurt’s back as he watched the scene fly by. His mind when it came to his missing years would give him what felt like headache pains as he tried to grasp or even remember something as small as what he would do in the morning

He turned his head away from the landscape and let his eyes taken in the man who was his best friend, his confidant, and more well at least to him he was. He could still feel all the emotions from their present past, yet all the past future ones with Sebastian whenever he was around him. Sometimes he couldn’t handle the whirlwind that was in his still small body. 

“You know, I think we should get the group together, you know you, me, Rachel, Tina, and the rest and have a night of it.” He offered, back tracking quickly “If you want.” He paused not knowing what Kurt wanted if he just wanted the private moment of them, he would give him what he wanted. 

“Well, they weren’t really that long ago..  But it feels like forever.  It’s not getting,” Kurt cut himself off before going further and wriggled his fingers around in Blaine’s until they were laced together and the pads of his fingertips were resting on the back of Blaine’s hand.  Palm to palm and hanging on so tight that the color bled out of ivory toned knuckles.

“It’s not getting,” and just like that--there was a segway to something different entirely, “any less late in the afternoon.  We’re about there. Promise.”  Touristy beaches were giving way to more private stretches of highway where hotels and homes marked the area. Shops turned into private driveways.  Wherever they were going, Kurt seemed to know and followed the GPS to an address he must have looked up.  Right?

“I think that’s a great idea.  Mostly.  I mean.  If we’re spotted out like that?  It’ll just look like a bunch of old friends getting back together and we don’t need to find some weird karaoke bar so far out of the way that it’s ridiculous.  It’d be great to see everyone again.  Together.  Like we’re used to.  Who knows?  Might be something a lot of us might need?  A little bit of something new and a little bit of something familiar.  Could help?  I’d even let Rachel have all the attention she wants if it means I get to sing with her again.  Don’t tell her that.”

[militarycrab-blog]

Unplanned || Kurtbastian

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sebastian;;

Sebastian smiled as he heard Kurt’s opinion on Dave. If those two, with their history, could deal with their situation in that way, maybe that was a good sign for the rest of them too. “I’m glad to hear you two are at least getting somewhere.” Maybe, just maybe, there was a part of him that was happy because Kurt getting closer to Dave might get his mind off Blaine a little bit more. Not that he considered himself the jealous kind, he knew his husband well enough to know he didn’t have much reason to worry about those things. But there was no denying that Blaine had woken up in love with Kurt that day. And those years definitely hadn’t done Kurt wrong… 

The awe in his eyes was probably visible as he entered the kitchen, and sat down on the seat Kurt subtly had assigned him. As much as he liked his own smaller, and definitely more sober kitchen, he couldn’t help loving the one he had stepped in just seconds ago. “I normally take mine black, but I won’t hold you if you want to experiment with that thing.” He smiled as he nodded towards the coffee machine. 

“We actually got along pretty well after we finally really got to know each other.” Sebastian laughed, answering. “It’s not like we were the kind that saw each other each few days, we both ran —or still do, whatever— on way too busy schedules for that. But you’re honest with a good dose of snark, and I quite like that in people.” He spoke as he slipped off his jacket, actually just too cold for the weather they were blessed with, and softly put in on the seat next to him. If Kurt was going to make him some coffee, he just as well might get comfortable. “It was mostly you inviting us for some events and premières though. That’s not exactly my world, but good company makes it better.”

The corner of Kurt’s mouth twitched at the mention that him and Dave were getting somewhere.  After the chat with Rachel about her and Mike?  He felt like he was ages behind where everyone else was getting to when it came to connecting to the people they were with in the here and now.  After a stare that was nothing short of a near unblinking daze, the would-be but not-quite smile faded and Kurt seemed to be back in his body and overly aware at the pause.   “Right.  Yeah.  I mean we are,” and he wished that his voice didn’t lift to nearly make that sound like a question.

Reprieve from that awkward situation came in the form of the two of them discussing their relationship with one another before this.  Oh!  And coffee!  Thank you, coffee.  “Black it is then. I’ve been mixing together so many concoctions with this thing, I think it’s becoming a weird addiction.  Still keep going back to my mochas though.”  So said the chocolate creamer he poured into his own mug before filling Sebastian’s with just straight up dark coffee.  He slid it across the counter gently for Sebastian to take and then joined him on the stool beside him.

Quite honestly?  Kurt sort of preferred they stay on the current topics rather than have to go back to the other route and practically jumped with all claws out to cling to it so it couldn’t run away. “Snark comes easy when people seem to give me plenty of reasons to dish it out when and if I have to.  I’m taking little to no credit for what comes out of my mouth.  Inspiration can be found within minutes of most conversations revolving around..  Well...  I guess it used to.  Let me guess?  If you know enough about me that you know I’m good at sarcasm..  Did I dish it out to you?  Hopefully not at these events I invited you to.  God, that would have made things uncomfortable.  I saw you at some of them and it did make me curious about who you were and what we were like when we were around each other.”

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tina;;

My first reaction would’ve been to bitch at you for such a comment, but you know what you are right. I have dated more gay men than you have and right now I am in a good place, I have a good job, I mean…I had a good relationship as well. It’s bumpy now but maybe it will get better, who knows? So if I can remain optimistic throughout the years…everyone can. Well at least in theory. I know you are…and it is okay to lose hope at times, feel sad and cry and all that, just dug a hole and hide in it for the rest of your life. That is all I am asking for, okay?

Thank you for sparing me the lecture.  I didn’t mean that as horrible as it sounded.  Jokes are not my forte’ lately.  I think I need to tell myself to stop while I’m still somewhat ahead.   I’m not going to dig a hole and bury myself.  That’s not who I am.  Do you really think it’s okay to lose hope sometimes?  To do all of those things?  I’m not sure if it is..  It feels like put together is all I can let myself be. 

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rachel;;

I mean, I am…and that is so strange. But it just really felt like I know this feeling. And I don’t mean kissing in general. And I am so thankful he is so patient with me but in that moment I was so sure he was kind of relieved I wasn’t pushing him away. Because let’s be honest it could’ve turned out that way. And I am still sure he would’ve stayed patient then as well, because this is Mike and as you said he is patient in general. No it is okay that you tell me this Kurt, don’t dare to not speak your mind okay? I get what you want to say and I promise I won’t push this so hard just to…you know make others happy and to be the person I obviously used to be. I want to remember and not pretend. And I can say without any kind of pretending that…this was an incredibly special kiss. It felt so familiar…so much like home. I obviously remember kissing Jesse and Noah and also Finn, but this was different. I loved Finn, don’t get me wrong…I mean I sometimes wake up and still feel like I love him so deeply, because that is what I remember, but this was different. I have no words for it. It made me speechless…almost speechless. And we both know how much I like to speak. This conversation being the absolute proof.

I’m sure he was.  Pushing him away would’ve hurt him so much.  I’ve seen that look of wishing turn into disappointment.  I’m so glad you two were able to get to that point.  I think he’s good for you.  Mike would be good for anyone but I think he somehow balances your passion out with something calmer to rely on.  Okay, okay.  I won’t feel bad I said it but I don’t want you to think twice about this if it is something you see yourself falling into because it’s what you feel inside. I’ll be there to root you on all the way if that’s what you feel it is.  You deserve every incredibly special kiss you get, Rachel.  And, most important, you deserve to feel like you’re home.

Do you still love Finn?  Or is that going away?  I might be asking for selfish reasons and you don’t have to answer.  But...  Anyway.  Maybe if Mike is who you are meant to be with, then that’s why it’s so easy?  Or maybe this is something that’s always been there?  I mean--I didn’t see it.  You didn’t see it.  However, that doesn’t mean that something didn’t start this year or...

I had a point but I think I lost it.

Speechless is good.  If a kiss can make you at a loss for words?  Then it must have been amazing.

[teachcjanderson]

Beach Day || Klaine

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blaine;;

Kurt’s fingers in his was the distraction he needed he returned the squeeze of the hand in his and smiled. It was nice to have someone have faith in him. He was sure that Sebastian had faith in him, but not like Kurt did. Kurt just knew him and knew what he was capable of and always had his best interest at heart 

“Thank you,” He paused “you always know what to say!” he added with a small squeeze of his hand and really let his mind thing about Kurt’s words. Maybe this could be his, “you know, I miss singing.” He confessed, “I have found myself looking for open mic’s lately, if I find out that’s out of the way would you go with me we could wear disguises and sing like we use too” he let his fingers rest in Kurt’s as he let the landscape catch his eye once more. 

Holding Blaine’s hand felt like a small piece of heaven after going so long without it.  They were used to having this whenever they wanted, barring a drive that made them wait for the other, but never going without seeing each other or having this simple thing to connect to each other with for as long as they had.  Some days were easier than others.  The ones where he let himself focus on becoming this person that his agent, manager, Dave and everyone else needed him to be.  Some days were just empty.  So?  He held on tight once he had it and didn’t think about letting it go.

“That’s because I know YOU, Blaine.  I know what you need to hear like you know what I need to hear,” he spoke softly with a sad tone to the words.  But a huff and a quick smile were a defense mechanism he had at the ready and fired at will to get past it.  Perking up and looking over at Blaine, glasz eyes sparked back to life.  “Oh God.  I miss it too.  I’ll go!  We can figure out the details!  But I will.  You know?  We always could make due in the car like we used to on the drives from Westerville to Lima.  Or..even right down the street.  I miss your voice.”  That wasn’t all he missed about Blaine but it was the easiest to confess to if he wanted to keep the mood light.

[militarycrab-blog]

Unplanned || Kurtbastian

[lightscamerafashicn-archived]

sebastian;;

“I guess so,” Even despite the whole situation it somehow didn’t stop feeling weird getting those kinds of questions. “Some better than others, of course.” Sebastian shrugged, not entirely sure if that was a good or bad thing to say. “I think most of us found each other back after high school. But it’s the outcome that counts no?” Probably not if he’s like Blaine in any way. Crap. No surprise there are people specialized in those kinds of things. And he definitely wasn’t one. Running back to his car and just disappear started to sound like a better plan every minute. But there was something in Kurt’s eyes, curiosity maybe, that held him from doing so.

“He’s a good guy.” Sebastian nodded, realizing damn well that if anything was going wrong between Blaine and himself, it was the fact that they didn’t talk. “He seems to be dealing pretty okay with the situation.” Unlike others. And suddenly the invite in felt like a present send by the gods, stopping him from talking even more nonsense. “If there’s one thing you should never apologize for, it’s coffee. There are worse things to swear by.” Sebastian followed Kurt inside, glad to at least exchange some words about something as trivial as coffee. 

“We weren’t exactly friends.” A small chuckle escaped him while speaking. It would have been an easy chance to lie, except that he didn’t want to. He might have changed a lot since then, but his idiotic teenage ways were something he somehow looked back on with a small smile. “But that was more my mistake than yours. I didn’t really took the time to really get to know people back then. I ran into some people later on, though. Mike in the military and then later on Blaine…” Sebastian shrugged, as if it were the most logical thing in the world “You guys definitely kept the whole ‘friends after high school’-thing going.”

A quiet hum and a smile followed Sebastian’s explaining how it was the ‘outcome that counted’ versus the path it took for some of them to come together.  He supposed that was right.  Hell, he might even agree if he knew what ups and downs some of those ‘paths’ might’ve been when it came to how he connected with people.  But being in the dark about them while others remembered everything made agreeing wholeheartedly a little difficult.  Still.  Kurt understood the good intentions behind the answer.  Appreciated them even.

“I agree.  Dave is a good guy.  I get Towards the end of the brightly lit hallway with it’s high ceilings and skylights open to let the sunshine in, Kurt veered them off into the kitchen where a row of stainless stools ran along a centered kitchen island where his little makeshift coffeeshop was set up.  Whatever idea he had in putting this in here (or buying the house with it installed..no idea), it had to be one of his favorite parts of the house that he discovered so far.

“Oh?  We weren’t,” the question was rhetorical and delivered by a foot tapping the stool on the end for Sebastian to take a seat while he stepped around the bar.  There was a slight twitch of his jawline.  Questions that were thought of, dismissed and turned into something else entirely because he wasn’t sure he wanted to put them out there. “I see. Were we friends after high school then?  I’ve seen you in some pictures.  Did we like each other?”  A fond grin and Kurt met Sebastian’s gaze with one hand on the coffee pot handle.  “Seems that way, doesn’t it?  I’m glad we did.  Guess we really are family in that sense. Or stuck with one another depending on how you look at it.  How do you take your coffee?”

[lightscamerafashicn-archived]

tina;;

It was funny though when you look back at it from some kind of distance. I feel that way as well. Well we needed a few more lessons I guess. That is right for sure. I mean I have dated several gay guys and seen way too many girls who turned out to be straight after all to tell from experience. I can only imagine how difficult it must be, but…maybe it’ll be worth it in the long run. I mean maybe you will find out more about yourself through this. I walked a long way to find the amount of optimism really, and to be honest most of the time I still struggle with it. But in this case we should remain optimistic.

Tina.  The route you’ve taken in your dating life alone should be a testament to someone coming from where they were previously to being as optimistic as you.  Regardless of what you had to go through to get there.  I mean..  I think you’ve dated more gay men than I have from what I’ve seen and look at where you are.  I’m trying.  Even if it gets hard some days.  I’m really trying..

[lightscamerafashicn-archived]

rachel;;

No need to go crazy. We are too young for that. There is too much still ahead of us, right? Yes…yes we did. And I mean I agree, that thought is strange. It still is to me at times as well. But there are moments I understand. I start to believe we are actually happy together. That we seem to belong together even. And that is something I never thought I would think, you know? But when I see all those pictures, the texts between us, the things he still does for me and how patient he is…that must mean we are actually very happy. And well it kind of overwhelmed me in a good way and it happened and…yes I am happy. Somehow. Strangely. But I am also freaking out because…I don’t know what to do. How to continue. You know?

Rachel, I’m so glad you’re this excited!  I’m sure Mike is so happy things seem to be falling into place for the both of you.  He’s a good guy.  He always has been.  I couldn’t see him giving you anything but support and patience above everything else.  God knows, he must have infinite amounts of that considering he dated Tina.  I love her but she does require infinite amounts of that sometimes.  Or did.  Don’t freak out.  I don’t think you need to know what to do.  Just let things evolve the way they have been and make sure you’re being you the way you want to be. Not the you that everyone else says you are.  It’s great to work towards a goal of connecting with yourself but you can’t lose yourself in the process.  Does that make sense?  Ignore me. That was too big of a damper for this conversation.  The two of you kissed.  What was it like? Details, woman.