Send me a♮ and i’ll generate a number (1-353) of what my muse will say to yours.
“I’ll make it very clear: you slip me the cash, and I’ll slip you the weiner.”
“Don’t fuck with the babysitter.”
“Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues.”
“Get out of my house!”
“I can only dream about having somebody like her as a girlfriend, but you’ve got her, and you treat her like this?”
“Don’t waste your time, half pint. Her legs are locked together at the knee.”
“I’d love to hit you. I’d love to pound on your face!”
“You’re so slimy, I won’t sink to your level.”
“If you give me any grief I swear to God I’ll kill you. Dead, murdered, stabbed.”
“Get in the car and run him over.”
“How could a righteous babe like you be lonely?”
“That’s the sweetest thing anybody’s ever said to me.”
“My only shot at ever being in a gang fight and all I get is one stitch?”
“Tonight is going to be the greatest night of your life.”
“I am not losing anything, I am still in control here! Got it?”
“I’m trying to get a date, you’re cramping my style!”
“Girls like you come along once in a lifetime.”
“And you’re just a girl in love with an asshole.”
“I got a little banged up.”
“Great Scott!”
“Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”
“This is heavy.”
“Why do you keep calling me Calvin?”
“It’s written all over your underwear.”
“Hey, you! Get your damn hands off her!”
“I finally invent something that works!”
“Maybe you were adopted.”
“I guess you aren’t ready for that yet.”
“You look so familiar to me. Do I know your mother?”
“Are you sure about this storm?”
“Since when can weathermen predict the weather, let alone the future?”
“You’ve really made a difference in my life. You’ve given me something to shoot for.”
“I’m really gonna miss you.”
“Even if your intentions are good, it can backfire drastically!”
“If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything.”
“What the hell is a gigawatt?”
“It’s not like I’ve never parked before.”
“You seem so nervous. Is something wrong?”
“I swiped it from the old lady’s liquor cabinet.”
“If you let people walk over you now, they’ll be walking over you for the rest of your life.”
“I figured, what the hell?”
“Since you’re new here, I’m gonna cut you a break, today.”
“Why don’t you make like a tree and get outta here?”
“I thought I told you never to come in here.”
“I’m your density.”
“I’ve never picked a fight in my entire life.”
“I can’t keep up of all of your boyfriends!”
“History is gonna change.”
“One rejection isn’t the end of the world.”
“What are you looking at, butthead?”
“I’m gonna get that son of a bitch.”
“Say hi to your mom for me.”
“Where are my pants?”
“I’ve never seen purple underwear before!”
“I have your car towed all the way to your house and all you got for me is lite beer?”
“You really think I ought to swear?”
“We don’t have a candy machine in the boy’s room!”
“I’m not particularly concerned with whether or not you like me.”
“I can’t believe you’re saying this.”
“She thinks you’re shit. And deep down, you know she’s right.”
“It’s called a sense of humor - you should get one - they’re nice.”
“C'mon, I’m talking about more than just sex here.”
“You know, I’ve been out with a lot of girls at this school. I don’t see what makes you so different.”
“I have taste.”
“You’re a bitch”
“I’m off like a dirty shirt.”
“I just want them to know that they didn’t break me.”
“You don’t have the guts to tell me the truth.”
“That’s a major appliance, that’s not a name!”
“You know what an older women does for me?”
“May I admire you?”
“Drinking and driving don’t mix – that’s why I ride a bike.”
“Why don’t you just… nail her, and get it over with?”
“Why are you getting involved?”
“I’m getting really bored with this conversation, all right?”
“If you want your piece of low-grade ass, fine.”
“Does he have… strong lips?”
“This is a really volcanic ensemble you’re wearing, it’s really marvelous!”
“I believed in you. I just didn’t believe in me.”
“Good Morning! Welcome to another day of higher education!”
“This is an incredibly romantic moment, and you’re ruining it for me!”
“Love’s a bitch.”
“Do you hear yourself? Do you hear the same asshole shit I hear?”
“What, do I have to spell it out for you?”
“Nobody appreciates your sense of humor.”
“Why don’t you go to take a shower, you look like shit.”
“We’re all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it, that’s all.”
“I’ll do anything sexual. I don’t need a million dollars to do it either.”
“I’m a nymphomaniac.”
“I’m not going to discuss my private life with total strangers.”
“If you say you haven’t, you’re a prude. If you say you have you’re a slut. It’s a trap.”
“You’re a tease and you know it.”
“Why don’t you just answer the question?”
“What do you need a fake I.D. for?”
“You wanna come over sometime?”
“Eat my shorts.”
“I’m doing society a favor.”
“You really think I give a shit?”
“Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?”
“Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place.”
“Why are you being so nice to me?”
“Chicks cannot hold their smoke, dat’s what it is.”
“When you grow up, your heart dies.”
“I have a really low tolerance for dehydration.”
“I could disappear forever and it wouldn’t make any difference.”
“I might as well not even exist at this school, remember?”
“You’re so pathetic.”
“Don’t you ever compare yourself to me.”
“Do you know how popular I am? I am so popular. Everybody loves me so much at this school.”
“You won’t accept a guy’s tongue in your mouth, and you’re going to eat that?”
“I’m telling the truth, that makes me a bitch?”
“You have problems.”
“Speak for yourself.”
“You’re kind of sexy when you’re angry.”
“Would you mind telling me how you know all this about me?”
“I don’t think either one of them gives a shit about me. It’s like they use me just to get back at each other.”
“Being bad feels pretty good, huh?”
“You ask me one more question and I’m beating the shit out of you.”
“Have you ever been felt up? Over the bra, under the blouse, shoes off… “
“It’s our time down here.”
“Just throw everything into cardboard boxes.”
“Always separate the drugs.”
“I want you to spill your guts, tell us everything!”
“I’m not all alone in the dark. I like the dark. I love the dark.”
“That was so nice of you.”
“If you do a bad job you’ll be locked in here with the cockroaches for two weeks without food or water.”
“You know, your voice is kind of nice when your mouth isn’t screwing it up.”
“Your looks are kind of pretty when your face isn’t screwing it up.”
“C'mon, give me a lickery kiss!”
“Hey, are you hungry? I got a Baby Ruth.”
“You’re even hungrier than I am.”
“Is this supposed to be water?”
“I’m setting booty traps.”
“Looks fine to me.”
“Okay, this is the little boys’ room, and that cave over there is the little girls’ room.”
“Next time you kiss him, do it with your eyes open. It’s a whole different experience.”
“Senior Jerk Alert!”
“I’m gonna hit you so hard that when you wake up your clothes will be out of style!”
“What happened to your braces?”
“You know, I just want to say thank you. For offering to save my life.”
“Man! You smell like Phys Ed!”
“Watch your hair! Watch your hair! They’re goin’ for the hair!”
“My God, I’m in a crazy house!”
“This is ridiculous. It’s crazy. I feel like I’m babysitting, except I’m not getting paid.”
“I just saw the most amazing thing in my entire life!”
“First, you gotta do the truffle shuffle.”
“I’m pretty much ODing on all your bullshit stories!”
“You’ve got a great body.”
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”
“You’re my hero.”
“A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself.”
“I could be the walrus. I’d still have to bum rides off people.”
“You can’t respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn’t work.”
“Pardon my French, but you’re an asshole!”
“Look, don’t make me participate in your stupid crap if you don’t like the way I do it.”
“It is his fault he didn’t lock the garage.”
“I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life.”
“You’re still here? It’s over!”
“The key to faking out the parents is the clammy hands.”
“It’s a little childish and stupid, but then, so is high school.”
“Your ass is mine.”
“You realize if we played by the rules right now we’d be in gym?”
“The city looks so peaceful from up here.”
“Anything is peaceful from one thousand, three hundred and fifty-three feet.”
“I am very cute, very alone and very protective of my body.”
“Gummi bear? It’s been in my pocket; they’re real warm and soft.”
“You killed the car.”
“You have nothing to worry about. I’m a professional.”
“I think we should shoot her.”
“What are you interested in?”
“Get off of the float!”
“In a nutshell: I hate my brother.”
“Are you suggesting that I’m not who I say I am?”
“You’re a beautiful man. I want to thank you for your warmth and compassion.”
“I asked for a car, I got a computer. How’s that for being born under a bad sign?”
“Four thousand restaurants in the downtown area, I pick the one my father goes to.”
“Only the meek get pinched. The bold survive.”
“Go piss up a flagpole.”
“You heartless wench!”
“I weep for the future.”
“If you’re not over here in fifteen minutes, you can find a new best friend.”
“You’re not dying, you just can’t think of anything good to do.”
“Do you have a kiss for daddy?”
“What a little asshole.”
“You sounded like Dirty Harry just then.”
“You wear too much eye makeup. My sister wears too much. People think she’s a whore.”
“I can’t drive when you’re yelling at me!”
“Smile, babe. Just smile…”
“Do you wanna kiss me?”
“I get the feeling you’ve been kissed a lot, and I’m afraid I’d suffer by comparison.”
“I thought only pansies wore neckties.”
“I thought only assholes used the word ‘pansy’.”
“Son of a bitch is gonna pay for that!”
“Hey, hey! What’s this I see? I thought this was a party.”
“I’m no saint you know. I’m not even a virgin.”
“Don’t you talk like that here!”
“How come you don’t like me?”
“What makes you think that I don’t like you?”
“You never talk to me at school. You never look at me!”
“I see you chasing after her and I see her running from you.”
“I was almost jealous.”
“Sometimes people run out of things to say.”
“Hey, I like that hat, man. They sell men’s clothes where you got that?”
“I thought I was alone.”
“You want out of here so bad you probably memorize bus schedules.”
“Who were you with?”
“I don’t want you to see him anymore.”
“I’ve heard he’s a troublemaker.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.”
“You like it or not, this is it. It doesn’t get much better.”
“I just don’t know that I believe in everything you believe in. But I believe in you.”
“If you ask me, he’s a total fox.”
“It seems that a lot of people are pointing the finger in your direction lately.”
“You figured where there’s smoke there’s fire, right?”
“You’ve got an attitude problem.”
“Is that what I get, huh? I treated you decent!”
“I was about through with you anyway!”
“No fights, you don’t even know this guy.”
“Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Teresa?”
“If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn’t be a human being. You’d be a game-show host.”
“Greetings and salutations.”
“When teenagers complain that they want to be treated like human beings, it’s usually because they are being treated like human beings.”
“Real life sucks losers dry. You want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly.”
“So, you teach people how to spread their wings and fly?”
“You’re beautiful.”
“I sound like a fucking psycho.”
“Are we going to prom or to hell?”
“You look like hell.”
“Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs.”
“The extreme always seems to make an impression.”
“What’s your damage?”
“That’s the stupidest question I’ve ever heard.”
“I don’t patronize bunny rabbits.”
“Save the speeches for Malcolm X, I just want to get laid.”
“You don’t deserve my fucking speech.”
“There’s a new sheriff in town.”
“I was teasing. I loved you.”
“They all want me as a friend or a fuck.”
“I say we just grow up, be adults and die.”
“If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you?”
“Why are you pulling on my dick?”
“I don’t really like my friends.”
“Some people need different kinds of convincing than others.”
“Why do you have to be such a mega-bitch?”
“Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?”
“If you don’t have a brewski in your hand you might as well be wearing a dress.”
“Will someone tell me why I smoke these damn things?”
“I shop, therefore I am.”
“You were nothing before you met me.”
“This kind of thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth.”
“That was my first game of strip croquet.”
“Can I borrow your underpants for ten minutes?”
“That’s why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they’d call ‘em something else.”
“What’s happenin’, hot stuff?”
“I want a serious girlfriend. Somebody I can love, that’s gonna love me back. Is that psycho?”
“I’ve never bagged a babe. I’m not a stud.”
“Don’t be a smartass.”
“You own a church?”
“Where the hell am I?”
“He is totally enamored of me.”
“I mean, I’ve had men who’ve loved me before, but not for six months in a row.”
“By night’s end, I predict me and her will interface.”
“They fucking forgot my birthday.”
“I can’t believe my Grandmother actually felt me up.”
“You wanna know what happened? Buy the book!”
“I’m not really a farmer. I’m a freshman.”
“I’m kinda like the leader, you know? Kinda like the king of the dipshits.”
“Would you stop feeling sorry for yourself? It’s bad for your complexion.”
“There has to be a more dignified mode of transportation.”
“When you don’t have anything, you don’t have anything to lose. Right?”
“I think you’re just being a little selfish… and immature.”
“I’d shit twice and die.”
“Will you hurry it up? I’m breaking like, thirty major laws here.”
“I can’t believe I gave my panties to a geek.”
“Darling, is something bothering you?”
“You’re really acting like an asshole.”
“I thought she hated my guts.”
“I swear to God this has got be a joke.”
“She’s supposedly real sweet.”
“It’s really human of you to listen to all my bullshit.”
“I think you’re terrific; you’re beautiful, you’re intelligent, you’re sensuous…”
“What’s my mother going to say? I’ve disgraced my whole family!”
“You’re not going to tell me I have too much experience, are you?”
“What’s up? You seem kind of upset.”
“That was a very expensive vase, you bitch!”
“Just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water.”
“Why do you keep saying the exact opposite of what I say?”
“I should warn you, I’m packing an iron.”
“He’s a person, I’m a person. I can’t say hello to him?”
“You really know how to sweep a girl back onto her feet.”
“I heard you calling me telepathically - I’m VERY psychic - so of COURSE I rushed right over.”
“You want me to spy on him?”
“Just tell me one more time what your solution is to this crisis.”
“You should go together. You look good together. “
“You should try to be more positive with your life, or you’re gonna wind up miserable.”
“Ohh, no, I am not available.”
“You’re irresistible when you turn on that boyish charm.”
“People better stop calling me bimbo!”
“Is it something I could get fired for?”
“Why haven’t I met you before?”
“Okay, so you don’t eat lunch. Do you eat dinner?”
“I was having fun on this job! You had all this energy, and all these crazy ideas… and you kept taking your pants off.”
“Just follow the smell of money.”
“I am not a bimbo!”
ST. ELMO’S FIRE“We’re all going through this. It’s our time at the edge.”
“It’s true love, my friend.”
“Love, love, you know what love is? Love is an illusion created by lawyer types to perpetuate another illusion called marriage to create the reality of divorce and then the illusionary need for divorce lawyers.”
“You break my heart. Then again, you break everyone’s heart.”
“I always thought we’d be friends forever.”
“Yeah, well forever got a lot shorter all of a sudden.”
“She is the only evidence of God I have seen with the exception of the mysterious force that removes one sock from the dryer every time I do my laundry.”
“That’s Mr. Asshole to you.”
“Don’t you enjoy anything anymore… like girls?”
“You ran out on this relationship. You take the consequences.”
“I can’t believe this is happening to us.”
“Haven’t you heard of the sexual revolution?”
“I hate you, you little bitch!”
“There are several quintessential moments in a man’s life: losing his virginity, getting married, becoming a father, and having the right girl smile at you.”
“Well, you’re all I think about.”
“How come you never ask me if I want a date?”
“I thought you were taking steps to phase out everything that wasn’t working in your life.”
“It ain’t a party till something gets broken.”
“Never trust a woman who says she isn’t angry.”
“Too bad they took your car, man.”
“As soon as I learn how to walk on water, I’ll get right on it.”
“Hey, everybody’s staring at me.”
“Life isn’t a problem to be solved. It’s a mystery to be lived. So live it.”
“How much longer are we gonna be doing this, man? I’m about to pee in my pants.”
“I thought things were supposed to be easy when you have money.”
“I don’t think you can hold onto anything until you let it go.”
“It was all for you.”
“It was NEVER for me, it’s your whole life.”
“I gave her my heart, she gave me a pen.”
“You just described every great success story.”
“Kickboxing. Sport of the future.”
“The world is full of guys. Be a man. Don’t be a guy.”
“I love you. How many more times do I have to say it?”
“You’re a distraction.”
“Why do you eat that stuff? There’s no food in your food.”
“I just can’t have any social life right now.”
“If you start out depressed everything’s kind of a pleasant surprise.”
“I have this theory of convergence, that good things always happen with bad things.”
“I draw the line at seven unreturned phone calls.”
“Nobody knew me before tonight.”
“This is great. This gives me hope. Thanks.”
“Why can’t you be in a good mood? How hard is it to decide to be in a good mood and be in a good mood once in a while?”
“I’ll always be there for you.”
“Bitches, man.”
“You used to be fun. You used to be warped and twisted and hilarious… and I mean that in the best way - I mean it as a compliment!”
“Dude, I don’t even feel that way about my car, man.”
“Is the movies a good second date? You know, as a date?”
“That was a mistake.”
“Everything else means nothing to me. If I hurt you again, I’ll die.”