[thoughtkick]

“My alone feels so good. I’ll only have you if you’re sweeter than my solitude.”

— Warsan Shire

[likemilkandhoney]

As I get back into my work posting schedule, I think the next phase is to focus on defining my audience. The sooner I figure that out, the sooner I can make stuff for those people. I feel like my content development is already getting cleaner and looking better than it did before. I'm seeing some results. The numbers are telling me something, but I know I need to stay focused.

The focus for now is slow and steady. Three things: 1. Lean into the consistency 2. Refine who I'm making it for 3. Continue to execute

Next comes refining my business plan for freelance work as I build up my personal brand. 1. Refine what my freelancing work (brand) offers 2. Research pricing details (contracts?) 3. Audit local companies 4. Make recommendations on which package incoming clients 5. Present audit and offers to potential clients

Let's keep going. Fighting ! 080326

d.

[likemilkandhoney]

I feel so lucky. I've been so down in the dumps, or maybe thinking about myself too much, to see all that I have in front of me. I have a home. I have enough money to buy food. I have my own space. I feel safe. I have my family who love me. I have my friends who mean so much to me. I've been unemployed for three months, and some days have felt so overwhelming trying to grieve the toxic environment I left. It took my body some time to catch up to itself. You're not there anymore. You're safe now. You don't belong to them anymore. But these days, it feels easy.

Isaac was a doozy. It threw me off my game in a way I didn't see coming.

As the days pass and I reflect, I'm appreciative that I can reflect. I feel free to reflect. I can sit in peace. I can read in peace. I can laugh in peace.

I don't have this horrible job I hate lingering over my head anymore. I feel like myself.

I felt like I was running out of time before, and I still feel that way, but it doesn't feel as heavy a burden as it once did.

The moment I realized that I could take a week off work to deal with what Isaac put me through, I could see it—that I was able to take a week off work. I could take the time I needed. I wouldn't have been able to do that before.

I feel good.

Every day is all there is, and I'm enjoying these days. 080326

d.

[likemilkandhoney]

It's been three months since I quit my job. It's been three and a half months since I've heard from Andres.

Honestly, fuck that job. Next.

I wanted it to last with Andres. Why are men so afraid of me?

I still have his birthday gift, and I think I will send it this week.

No notice or heads up. I'm going to be annoyed if he texts me after. I'm not sending this because I want to hear from him. I want to send it to him because I told him I got it for him, and I wanted him to have it.

I want to let him go. It's the last thing I need to do before I do.

I won't be reaching out to him anymore. I don't even know if I'll speak to him if he reaches out to me. What would I have to say to someone I got vulnerable with? Someone who didn't reciprocate his actions with his words. Someone who didn't write me back. No phone call. No text message. No nothing.

How do men treat people like this? I don't get it, but I'm ready to let him go. I'm ready to learn to let Isaac go. I'm ready to let it be done and move on. 080326

d.

[gremlininho]

let me. innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

[1anonyymous1]

[likemilkandhoney]

It's been about 3 weeks since I met up with Isaac for the first time, and it's been hard to get over him. I really did want it to work.

I took a week off because of it. Because it put me out of sorts. I felt disoriented and so sad.

After I got so much out of my system about the whole thing, I haven't yet been able to shake the feeling of wanting him to miss me as much as I miss him. At least, how much I missed the good parts.

Him looking over at me longingly, almost drawing me in for a soft, sensual kiss. Almost like I knew that was exactly what we both wanted. Just like the one we had at that red light. Once we came out of it, we made our left turn, and he told me a lady across the intersection just rolled her eyes at us. I didn't even care that she was watching us. I wanted more of him. I wanted to taste him, but I knew it wasn't time yet.

Wednesday, July 15th.

That date was, I think, the best I've ever had. Hands down.

The only thing that would've made it perfect is if we had lasted. If Isaac were the man I wish he were.

He's not. But I can still wish he was.

I can still hold onto the moments we had. I'm not ready to let them go just yet. 080326

d.

[likemilkandhoney]

I don't want to think about it anymore

I don't want to think about it anymore

I don't want to

I don't want to think about it anymore

I don't want to think about it anymore

I don't want to think about it anymore

I don't want to think about it anymore

I just don't want to 062126

d.

[lamignonette]

[philosophybits]

“Those who do not want to imitate anything, produce nothing.”

— Salvador Dalí­, Dali by Dali

[unreasonable-desire]

[thoughtkick]

“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.”

— Mo Willems

[likemilkandhoney]

I saw a video recently that spoke about how jackie a ina does a really good job establishing her brand and a great way to do this, and deciding on three words that encompass who you are and how you want to show up in your personal brand.

I went to my notes app, and this is what I jotted down:

elevated | articulate | feminine

together | feminine | articulate

knowledgable | put together | feminine

other words

feminine | gentle | articulate

elevated, articulate, feminine, together, knowledgeable, put together, gentle...

these are all the words that came from my brain dump... "elevated" because casual, even simple living, can be done with intention and still look put together. "articulate" because I express myself clearly, and can simply express complex ideas; I'm proud of that. "feminine" because while I can have a harder exterior at times, I am most at peace and most myself when I'm gentle, soft, and leaning into more femininity. words that are associated with femininity include sensitivity, sweetness, empathy, and tenderness. "put together" comes to mind because I do not embrace looking disheveled—a little intention goes a long way in a polished perception. "together" refers to one's life, mental state, or emotional maturity. it's speaking to someone's organization, competency, groundedness, and having their life under control. "knowledgeable" meaning having information, understanding, or skill that you get from experience or education, or simply being well educated. finally, "gentle" came to mind because I like to approach information or expressing what I know without harshness and in a soft, delicate way.

I'm gonna dump then into Gemini and see what I decide. I'm excited. 06122026

d.

[likemilkandhoney]

started on somewhat of a "content creator" journey, and it hasn't been easy, I'll admit.

I knew it wasn't going to be just so easy, but now that I've started, I feel a little overwhelmed and a bit lost in it.

when I initially thought about doing this this is what I thought...

I love beauty. I love beauty products, I love the stuff that gets me "ready," and if I can't get into the industry by applying for the job, then I might as well create my own personal brand and get featured by the brands... maybe even build relationships and partner with the brands sometime down the line.

and as someone who values beauty, intention to detail, and culture, I thought that I could marry it all together.

plus, I have a background in marketing, a degree in video production, and I have been in online spaces for a long time. it's not like I'm open to helping brands just because I can... it's more like I know how online spaces work. because of algorithms and culture, it will continue to evolve, but I'm an internet kid at heart.

this is a safe space for me in a lot of ways.

it gave me the background to work in digital marketing as a career. it's been an outlet for me since I was a kid, and it ultimately gave me the push to leave my toxic job.

in a sense, the internet is home for me. and I think that amidst the backend logistics, creating a workflow, and navigating a routine to consistently create good content, I lost sight of some of that.

this is what I know.

I don't want my online presence to be focused on relatability and humor. if I don't want to be known for that, then that needs to stop. I got kind of intrigued by it because I want consistency, so if I don't have content ready, I want to just put out something to keep my account warm. but now that I'm saying this, this is exactly what my old boss expected of me, and I hated it. I understand that sometimes quantity serves a purpose and has value. and I also know that consistency in your quality is even better. thankfully, that is my default, so it won't be too hard for me now that I see the trap I fell into.

I want to show up authentically, and I've seen all kinds of content creator advice and info speaking specifically about how you need to have brand pillars and things like that. I don't think that's untrue; it is important, but I think for me, my first priority is consistency. getting in the groove of creating content that I want to see and I consume myself.

I am an amalgamation of different interests. I'm learning about healthy intimacy in relationships. I'm learning better food habits. I'm navigating walking away from a job and environment that insisted on keeping me stunted. I'm designing my home space. I'm learning how to navigate content creation independently for the first time and on my terms. I'm creating a life that is my own, and I want to invite people who want to join on that journey. I love movies and media and pop culture. I think people are hypocrites. I contain multitudes.

I know I don't have to tackle everything at once, which is the point.

my content creation can be bite-sized pieces of my life— if someone wants to come along, they can grab a seat or say hi in passing if they want. 06122026

d.

[sweeetchai]

[dreamstars]

[kosmogrl]