lilac breath

a creative corner of the internet :-)

[lilacbreathxx]

this is so scary to do but...take a gander at my soul, folks. y'all know i love emotional voyeurism lmaooo (at Highland Park, Los Angeles)

[lilacbreathxx]

hey friends ✨🌸 i'll be reading some work tonight at a lil' bookshop in highland park. Book Show @ 8pm! it'll be two short stories from my literary zine 'Fragments' and an excerpt from an unreleased project! follow @lavenderlist to stay up to date with new projects and also for weekly inspiration ~*~ (at Highland Park, Los Angeles)

[lilacbreathxx]

***emotion*** entire outfit cost $6. american thrift hooks it up.

i've been looking for boots like this for months!! and the thrift store is loaded with them BUT never in my size....today was my lucky day. i am obsessed.

[landed-aristocracy]

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last wednesday i spent the night sobbing in my car because i felt like being an adult was very lonely business and this wednesday i am at peace with that.

i’m trying to figure out what it means to be a functioning adult with functioning relationships and so far i’ve learned that there’s no such thing. growing up is a lonely space and often times you’re going at it in solitude. not to sound incredibly dreary but, i mean, all your close friends get full time jobs, get into serious relationships or go off to school. with that, you begin to see less and less of them. they’re still your close friends, but the constant interaction begins to dwindle, and instead of them being there right alongside you, you sometimes find yourself recounting it all to them weeks later, because that’s when your schedules aligned.

communication and selflessness have probably been my two biggest takeaways these last few months. it’s important to bring up that pressing issue between you and your friend, it’s nice to buy them lunch sometimes even if your bank account advises you not to, it’s vital to reaffirm them with your words, or to call them out lovingly when they’ve done something wrong. 

it’s been a very emotional time for me lately because there are a lot of changes happening in my current circumstances but also within myself. i’m questioning many things in my life and i’m learning so much about the way i love and care for people. i’ve also been able to find ways to verbalize the things in my heart and solidify parts of my theology. lets just say, it’s been a relationally, spiritually, socially and politically telling time. it’s almost like i’m hovering outside of my body watching as i go through the cliche Find Yourself In Your Twenties stage. i’m so aware of that and it sort of takes away from the awe of it, but i am constantly inquiring deeper and expecting more from those around me, but also myself. now, this isn’t to say i’ve got everything figured out. i’m still very much stuck in the messiness that is young adulthood but i guess what i’m trying to say is that i am trying, and i’ve unearthed my own key foundations:

i’ve decided forgiveness isn't negotiable. if someone has hurt me i will forgive them. doesn’t mean that’ll happen instantly but i will always leave room for discussion and discourse. i will be open, which means i will get hurt but also means i’ll grow and learn to heal.

in life you’re sometimes going to get hurt and sometimes you’re going to be the one causing the hurt. once you let that sink in healing becomes easier.

if i feel like i am being disrespected in the work place, at church, or amongst my friends. i will speak up for myself. i will demand respect and offer respect in return.

i won’t be embarrassed about telling my friends i love them. words are important. so is treating a friend to ice cream, dying their hair to them, or shooting a “thinking about you, love you” text.

[garbagelord]

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west coast lovin' x madewell black v-neck x thrifted black mom jeans x all saints Bonny valley leather boots x opening ceremony red scarf x thrifted burnt orange French leather bag

[amnessy]

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January Favorites ✨

this year has started off bitter sweetly. i’ve sort of slipped into a starry eyed sense of being and i’ve got a surge of inspirational energy buzzing through me. i’m so ecstatic. ecstatic about life, love, new friendships!! ah, i can just sense new air ahead of me! anyways, there’s been a few constants in my life this month, and i love them so much i wanted to share them with you!!

x Franny and Zooey by J.D Salinger: now one of my absolute favorite books ever. thanks michelle for the recommendation ;-) maybe it’s a bit troubling that i was able to relate so deeply with Franny and Zooey on some sort of level but nonetheless this was such a great read! refreshing, crisp, thoughtful, and witty narrative. i’m really glad this was the book i started my year off with.

x Eyewear: i’m fake as hell and i wear glasses for style. wish i was sorry about it, but i’m not. these two frames are on constant rotation in my wardrobe!! they’re so much fun. both bought off amazon for very cheap. thanks naomi for the wire-framed ones ;-)

x Glossier: if you know me, you know i’m a glossier girl, through and through. i swear by their products; light weight, sensitive but effective. ugh. i am obsessed with moisturizing and spritzing rose water spray on my face throughout the day!!! haha. anyway, glossier came out with their face cleanser this month and it works like a charm. my face is really clear and it also works as a make-up remover. did i mention i was obsessed?

x Five Year Memory Journal: thank you sam for the perfect birthday present!! ✨ this journal has been attached to me, almost everywhere i go. everyday there’s a different prompt that requires maybe a 1-2 sentence response. it’s super easy but deeply thoughtful, and it helps me take some time out of my day to just Be, while also creating memories. there are different prompts for each day, but every year it starts all over again, so you see how you’ve changed and whatnot. i’m not doing this little journal any justice but it’s really sweet. anthropologie always has the cutest lil’ gifts.

x Moonphase Bandana: one of my favorite accessories this month!! i bought it online at urban outfitters, it’s really cute and simple but adds soo much to a look. i’ve been tying it around my neck. i also got my first kiss of the year while wearing it so it’s been extra good luck for me ;-)

[tmar-deactivated20170818]

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this past sunday, i got tickets to go to the Soul Cleansing event hosted by one of my greatest inspirations: Solange. i’m inspired by her eloquence, her authenticity, her blackness, and her artistry.

leaving the event that night, i had this little voice in my head urging me to curate more, love more, and have more fun. it’s crazy how seeing solange motivated me to do just that. she has this ethereal, free spirited way about herself, and it made me just want to love life. i’m in the process of figuring out myself—understanding why i do the things i do, and well, i’ve realized that sometimes i’m just too damn intense; i want to fully encompass and understand everything. if there’s a problem, i immediately want to take it apart and figure it out—find a solution. if there’s no solution i want to understand why there isn’t. i seek understanding. i encourage discourse. i enjoy the discussions and debates of life. along the line, i’ve somehow expected the world to take care of me emotionally. it’s a frightening position to be in a world who, frankly, doesn’t give a damn about a 21 year old dreamer.

one of my favorite quotes in the world is by Aldous Huxley,

“It’s dark because you are trying too hard. Lightly child, lightly. Learn to do everything lightly. Yes, feel lightly even though you’re feeling deeply. Just lightly let things happen and lightly cope with them. ……… So throw away your baggage and go forward. There are quicksands all about you, sucking at your feet, trying to suck you down into fear and self-pity and despair. That’s why you must walk so lightly. Lightly my darling, on tiptoes and no luggage, not even a sponge bag, completely unencumbered.”

i think i love it so much because i can’t ever seem to sink into this Light existence. i’m constantly seeking depth—at the grocery store, at the hole in the wall diner, at church, at dinner etc. i get antsy when i can’t feel something out, but i want to loosen my grip. i guess what i’m saying is, solange knowles has inspired me in a way i didn’t expect. i’ve tapped into a new well of inspiration and i want to live freely, surrounding myself with good people, motivated artists—dreamers! i want to surround myself with dreamers! shoot. i just want to float alongside solange knowles in all our black girl magic!!

[pastelyfresas]

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cardigan weather

x madewell black v-neck x thrifted leather belt x forever 21 fuzzy cardigan x american eagle high rise jeans x thrifted black purse x madewell gold bracelet

[ktrkradio]

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favorite birthday jam!

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twenty-one and fun! i’d like to thank all the sweet souls out there, that thought of my little existence, and wished me a happy birthday yesterday! your kind words are forever in my heart. thank you! 💫 x MLC eyewear cat eye glasses x Nathalie du Pasquier for american apparel collection: tent dress x urban outfitter sandals x Philip Lim soleil bucket bag (thank you patrick for my fav birthday gift!!!!!!!!!!)

[stranger-thing]

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Thrift or Treat ;-)

i had SUCH  a nice time thrifting this morning with my new friend, Noelle. she just moved down here from New York, so she is automatically way too cool for me, but nonetheless, we had so much fun and went home with lots of goodies. we were supposed to be shopping for halloween costumes but those jackets, sleeveless turtle necks, and vintage shoes were calling our names in a melodic tune too sweet to ignore. 

people always ask me where i shop, and usually assume places like, american apparel, urban outfitters, etc. which i mean, yea i do love me some AA, UO, and madewell but honestly, my closet is mostly made up of thrifted finds. how do i uncover such great items? well, i have a formula and it works great for me so maybe it can help you too.

1. go early. all the best things are there early and are most likely long gone by the evening. wake up, get dressed and wear something that is easy to slip out of to make trying on your finds effortless. trust me. you do not want to spend more time than you absolutely need to in those dusty fitting rooms.

2. go alone or with friends that are for you and not against you haha. it’s always the best when it’s a friend who knows a little about your taste and can subconsciously shop for you as they go. i’ll be going through a rack and see a really cute halter top and think, “oh shoot, this will look great on Allison.” or like today, two of Noelle’s rejects ended up in my pile. it worked our perfectly. 

3. have at least one to two items you are specifically looking for so you’re not aimlessly walking around the shop. it can get a bit overwhelming. if i know that i am looking for a long skirt with buttons going down the middle, i make a beeline for all the skirts and work my way through there. it’s nice to have some semblance of order within yourself while in the midst of thrift shop chaos.

4. if you see something you really like at one of your favorite stores, make sure it's not an item you can easily find at a thrift store. for years, i wanted mom jeans but refused to pay the price at american apparel, so i waited until i found a pair that would fit me at a thrift store. now i own four pairs and my favorite ones are my light washed Levi mom jeans, that i got for one dollar. yea. definitely worth the wait.

hope some of these tips were helpful! thrifting is a favorite past time for me and i know it can seem kind of stressful, but when you uncover a hidden gem in the piles of weird, outdated, and questionable items it’s VERY rewarding.