Lili

I like writting as my personas or characters

[lilismoonhouse]

I need to fall onto traps Then be trapped all alone Find my homes again So I will know my own I make the same mistakes But keep my mind volatile Rebuilt rules I have broken But keep my heart alive

- Lili (me ;) )

[lilismoonhouse]

For my grown up child

Years watching you Playing alone Running around Smiling at the phone

Then I hear you cry Clomplaing about the time You felt all alone All on your own

You can blame me for the mistakes I made Maybe I was too rough But what was I going to say Without making you feel hurt?

If you're going to blame me Then blame me for the bad and for the good For making you happy, for giving all I could For spending days and nights To become perfect for you Even thought I know no one can be that good

Praying for you Working for youPretending for you That everything was fine

Now you're grown up Making plans you don't tell me And just wish I did better than I could But you're so beautiful and smart Just like I always knew you would be

If you're going to blame me Blame me for bad and for good For making you happy, for doing all I could For putting you first For being right there I just couldn't ever live without you

You'll never know how this love feels like Until you feel it

So don't leave me Don't let me go away I was always there So let me stay

Don't leave me Don't forget about me Keep me in your heart Until your last breath

- Lili (me ;) )

[lilismoonhouse]

Girl growing up

I've grown a little bit old My boody and boobs have changed, you know But I still kinda fell the same

I go out in the same clothes That I would wear five years ago But now there're different eyes on me

Do they love me? Do they hate me? I don't know, but I know That I'm arguing with my parents a lot

Do they love me? do they hate me? I don't know that And neither how I feel

They say I look sweet But I doon't know what that means I'm feeling unconfortable I don't know what's going on But I know somethings has changed

When I wanted their love they called me wierd Now they're begging my attention Looking like a creep Oh, I feel something wrong here Some adults say that those boys Couldn't handle such a mature young lady like me I don't know how I should feel

Do they love me? do they hate me? I don't know but they're calling me cute names

Do they love me? Do they hate me? I think maybe they're not such nice guy anymore

They're trying to touch my skin And I don't want to sound mean I'm feeling unconfortable I don't know what's going on Some people say that I'm just seeing things

- Lili (me ;) )

[lilismoonhouse]

Devil's child

Oh Lord Oh my lord Why do I have to suffer this way? The fire down here burns my skins But I'm only paying for my fathers sins Oh my Lord I'm just the Devil's child

I was whishing and hopping you'd hear my voice But my faith is already in hell I know nothing but bad But I was always good So please let me leave For my heavenly soul And my body made of sins Please, my Lord Just let me leave I was never a demon I'm just the Devil's child

- Lili (me ;) )

[lilismoonhouse]

Yellow light issues

There was a life time After a lifetime I covered the path with stones Made my decisions my own I never doubted it Maybe someday I did I can not find it I can not find who I was before here

They traveled miles But what's that supposed to mean? Maybe I've born tired Of the idea of "playing be" I'm not pretnding I'm simply changing Dressing me out Etheral landing

Yellow light issues Night's wierd visions Tyler what's your number? I feel like I'm lost again But I lost your number too... Shit!

- Lili (me ;) )

[lilismoonhouse]

Friends going ghosts

I'm jealous of my past God, I wish I could go back I swear I wouldn't change a thing

I'd make the same mistakes With a smile on my face

Oh, I miss every tear This river was clear And our matching white socks Won't make us not fear All the sand thrown away On our front tier We will have to go away There is no other way Of life for us

Ther's no pride when you're losing a friend And I don't wanna lose you, not again All my truth was told till we faint But that funny feeling will stick us till the end

- Lili (me ;) )

[lilismoonhouse]

Once best-friend, now ex-acquaintances.

I needed you to feel the void and feel happy for my life. I must confess, I was miserable… but you,… you gave me a reason to belive it was worth living and that everything was better than I could see. I guess you were miserable too… and you saw me as your hope. I was the only one to see the good in you at the time. I was your chance (the only one you had) to be (considered) a man.

You dissapeared and ghosted me.

I felt like my organs were stabing each other and drownning them in my blood, which would start to come out from my eyes at any time… or I'd simply explode. But I didn't. Now I don't need you to feel the void anymore. I don't feel empty anymore. I feel that, for the first time, I'm trully entirelly happy. Thank you for dissapearing from my life. I hope you never come back. I wish you do the best, because I know Karma always does it's work.

- Lili (me ;) )

[lilismoonhouse]

I WANT TO FOLLOW PEOPLE WHO ARE MAKING THEIR OWN MOVIES ON TUMBLR!!!!!!!

[lilismoonhouse]

Love interests in movies, Creeps in real life

It's so funny to think about how a stranger suddenly inviting you to spend the night in a different country with them in real life (specially nowadays) would make most people afraid of them as if he was a creep (he probably is), but movies and books can make it so magical. I think that's one of the reasons why I love Before Sunrise. It started in an unpredictable way and turned out on a humanly magical night. If you think for a second it is all about two strangers who take their time to get to know each other. It is a very long conversation with some 'different moments' at the end of the night. I love to see the human essence in this movie. Their slight conflicts and different beliefs, this is so human but the movie makes it so beautiful. I also love how Jesse tries to come out as this rational guy who doesn't believe in many things Celine does, but he's still more impulsive and someone who lets his emotions win. This last part is easier to identify in the second movie and, even though I prefer the first compared to the second, it doesn't make it less good, it's just as perfect as the first one, but the surprise I had on the first and the fact that it is longer makes me like it more. I love every interaction of them, every single one.

- Lili (me ;) )

[lilismoonhouse]

1… 2… 3… 4…

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate it! Just you and me, a stupid blank screen and nothing comes up. I can't choose between French, Russian, Korean, German or Italian to learn; I can't decide between engineering or cinema; I can't decide anything. I don't have time to make mistakes. All my parents' dedication to providing me not only with a decent life, but a life with plenty of options. Always going out to good restaurants with the most different menus but always maintaining the highest quality; everytime we went to the shoppping center (which happened almost every week) buying me clothes, make-up or accessories; buying my skin and hair products; paying for me to go on an expensive school... All this so that I could rise in life. Even so, this is an investment so that I can be happy,... so that I can secure stability more easily and then be happy, and have children with even more opportunities, as they did with me and my brothers,... but they started with nothing. Not that their family didn't have enough income, because one of them did, but they never saw that money reach their own hands.

I never wanted to follow my dreams. I wanted to be rich. I never had the desire to buy a thousand clothes or mansions, but to be able to raise my children in the best possible way. When you grow up outside the elite (and you realise it) the truth is brutally thrown in your face, and the attempt to console yourself by showing that the reality of others who have more difficulties than you doesn't end your suffering. For me at least, it only increases, because not only I have no control over my own life, but I also feel powerless because I can't help anyone else.

It's always been clear that I'm a 'math person', but I fell in love with literature and cinema. The reality is that I found my passion for intelligent stories, or even if they weren't so intelligent, stories that made me see something about life, that hooked me and made me want more and more of it, getting deeply involved even with shallow stories, but that somehow captivated me. I've never been much of a reader, and definitely, many things in the area of languages always seemed like a very complex jigsaw to me, and I've never liked jigsaws. But literature is very cool and very interesting, just too complex for me,… but cinema… CINEMA! I love the cinema. It took me a while to discover this passion, I confess, but when I did, I fell completely in love. From creating scripts, directing, casting actors, filming, editing, setting,… everything! It's a magical world. Seeing the finished film is a great experience, I can't deny that, but the creation process is the most magical part.

- Lili (me ;) )

[lilismoonhouse]

Just for a moment all the stars stop shinning and you realise your hope is completely gone, and that your future depends fully on you, because faith failed you.

- Lili (me ;) )