"Lillian," they said. It had been meant teasingly, their lips curling up ever so slightly and a fading glimmer of mischief entering their eyes. It was gone as soon as it came. Their teasing and joking were a fool's shield against the truth bubbling up in their throat. It was them running away from that which they dared not speak.
They had only just gotten to speak with Lillian again for the first time in weeks, yet it had felt like years. To speak their emotions truly and lay their heart out for dark-haired Lillian... They would scare her off, most likely, like the intensity of their heart had done oft before. It felt like a cruel joke made by a careless god.
Thorsiffe was scared. Scared of what Lillian would think and say, scared of slaying that stubborn bit of hope that clung to the uncertainty of it all.
Yet Thorsiffe knew fate when it looked them in the eyes. Hope meant nothing if it only lingered in the shadow of fear. The decision made, Thorsiffe's lips parted, words forming before they could think on them.
"I love you."
An icy feeling crept up her throat, clinging, holding on and pulling the rest of her under with it. The cold spread from her stomach, to her head, to her fingers, and finally to her heart, a thick, inky mixture of dread and, and... and heartbreak mixing and spilling out into the rest of her.
There was a long moment when she stood, still and stiff, letting the feeling wash over her, knowing that the longer she sat and let herself drift, the greater a foothold she was allowing everything she suppressed.
"I... Thorsiffe..." she said, struggling, words thicker than her feelings. "You deserve better."

















