one, i think you and i just need to be better friends because our partners pick on each other so much and act like they hate each other -- i feel like we're brothers in arms because of that, you know? plus, i know you find it as hilarious as i do when they pick at each other. i don't even mind when lily-rose sends loud gifts to give my children, because i find it funny how she tries to get under bill's skin. though i will say i do feel bad about all the horror dolls that bill sends your guys way -- since i found out you don't really like scary things. i've attempted to get him to tone it down, so hopefully christmas will be a little less scary and a whole lot more jolly when it comes to what bill sends. but also, i'm currently trying to get bill to buy me a castle -- i've told him that you loved lily-rose enough to buy her a castle, so he should get me one too. and while i'm mostly just messing with him, because he messes with me so much, i'm here to ask you, how does one acquire a castle? what did you all do to find it? because i need to drop more hints, so if i got to email him links and be like, "oh, look at this one," then that's what i'll do. he won't let me have horses, so now he's going to get me on a castle kick! || @mackayhq
For @lilsychloe, @josephafq, @hackervinnie, @nchoult, and @anyakined:
Seeing as how you all are so incredibly special to me, I couldn't imagine having my big day without you right by my side for my wedding! Which begs the question: will all of your lovely selves be in my wedding party? If you're looking for a bribe to say yes, just keep in mind I've arranged to take you all out to dinner tonight at Purslane Restaurant, so you know, just an extra perk. But honestly, I'd love it so much if you guys could be there to help me celebrate my big day and make it all the more incredible. xo
You know I'm never going to complain about time off or being at home since it's always nice, and maybe I'm missing that a little having to film in Australia right now. Though I'm happy you and the girls were able to come with and that you've got some time off for it. But the yacht vacation was a nice last hurrah before we had to fly out here, don't you think? At least with my dad, we know we'll all age pretty gracefully, and thanks to my mom, too. We didn't get to go to a UFC fight in Vegas, but maybe we can plan for one soon. Or if they end up having one here magically, imagine how much fun that'd be? Well, I'd be surprised if Oona didn't at least have an affinity for horror when she gets older, since it's the majority of what I've done in projects. Do angels pout, though? Not sure they do, so you can't technically be one. I could say you're being stubborn about desiring a horse, though! See how that works out? I don't know what you mean when you girls will just teach me how to be pout immune if I'm seeing them all the time. And thank you for at least not bringing up horses to the girls, because pretty sure even Linnéa would start begging for one, and she hasn't even learned speaking proper sentences yet. That's my point though, I don't know why you want to shove me into the water when you're going to end up tipping the boat anyway! I think you just like seeing me wet, regardless. Maybe you got lucky and didn't tip the canoe over the last time we took it out, but I bet if we rented one here, your luck would run out. If there's one thing I'm always proud of as a father, it's Oona's ability to roast people in oblivion. We just have to train her not to attack us so much, I think. I love that pole dancing is what builds your core, and naturally I'm going to tell you to keep that up so I can watch. Well, you technically got me t-shirts for my birthday that say I can call you some form of old lady, so I'll take it. 36 really isn't old though, so that's easy. What's your mom making you feel guilty about, though? Because if she's like mine, who's acting like she'll perish with us being on the other side of the world, I bet you're like me feeling bad enough to make them our first visit when we're back at home. Definitely the kind of guilt trips I'd love to learn. I like your reasoning for learning Swedish and yeah, I want the same thing since it's easier for kids to learn these things early on. So, no wearing t-shirts with a ball and chain either? It wouldn't surprise me if we'll end up having to keep up with Linnéa running at the pace she's learning. I think Oona's given up on teaching Linnéa a proper somersault just because hers are so funny when she tries to do them. And you did perfect cartwheels, admittedly, another sign you aren't old in the least.
Do you think we could find some castles around Australia anywhere? It makes me laugh thinking about it, but it might be a fun mission. Was that a hint, saying you're jealous Lily-Rose has a castle? Japan was a lot of fun, and I'm always on board for you finding great places to eat since you know I love expanding my palette. I'm sorry we sort of lost track of planning the dinner party before I had to film, but we can plan it sometime before October when you have to film, maybe give people the chance to make plans to fly out. Don't mind me laughing that you're already wanting to get your hands on Lily-Rose and George's new babies. You mean aside from people's clown kinks? Because that's pretty weird. I love that you want to go big for your fantasy, and doesn't get bigger than St. Peters and Notre Dame. I'm already looking forward to the confession booth too, so don't mind me. How am I still your old man if I'm younger than you are, though? I'll accept being your young man. And it's a good thing you know my being a pain is my love language. Well, that's slightly out of my control now, given filming doesn't require a mustache. Are you going to make a suggestion to wardrobe about it? I'm sort of used to her teasing every time I have a noticeable change in my appearance though, and it's almost like tradition at this point. Maybe Linnéa will join in on it at some point. Well, Oona's probably torn because you look good with black hair, so it's a compliment she can't really think of a roast for that reason. And you know I like the black hair, no question there. I appreciate that you still find me sexy with short hair, too. I'm glad the horse we bet on won in Kentucky too, and it had to be a bit of extra luck from your dad, don't you think? And I'm thinking it's official that I'll never hear the end of it until we actually get a horse, that's what you're telling me. And I guess I can believe I'm more fun to spend time with than horses, and I know for certain that the girls are. an I love you may earn some extra sap, so may have to actually say it to confirm or deny. Plus you're giving me all the kisses if you knock over the boat? I'm already excited for these extra kisses. I loved racing on ATVs with you too, and it's fun to get dirty and gross with some things, isn't it? So it means we definitely need a rematch, and also to test out the one you got me for my birthday. We can definitely plan on more rock climbing places too, since we had such a good time with Greece. I'm still tickled you're as into rock climbing as I am. We'll have to look into rock climbing in Japan too. Though maybe we can find some places in Australia to rock climb, don't you think? Along with some fun things to do with the girls, aside from going to the beach. In case I haven't said it enough, thank you for all the gifts on my birthday, and I felt rather spoiled. I'll thank you extra if you put on the other of those pieces of lingerie, just saying. | @lilsychloe
oh i know, you love getting to be at home as much as i do and part of me wishes we were home right now -- even if i do love being in australia right now, and i'm glad we both are filming here which makes things a lot easier. especially since i missed you and the girls so much when i was on the promo trail for swiped, i wished you guys would have been with me and it was so hard to be away from you three. the yacht vacation was a very nice last hurrah before we had to fly out to australia, i agree with that. i knew i made the right move in renting that for us, and we had such a good time being on such a big boat like that! oh i know, every time i see a photo from when your dad was younger, i just smile knowing how handsome you're going to continue to be when you're as old as he is! and of course your mum too, since she's beautiful as well. i know with our schedules being a little crazy we couldn't see any ufc fights lately, but i know we'll plan for one soon! though, if they had one here down under, that would be amazing! it would be the best date night for us, right? i kind of love the idea of her having an affinity for horror when oona is older, she's going to be into all things from like art the clown to jigsaw probably! i'm pretty sure angels can pout, so yes i can still be an angel and pout, bill. i mean, i guess i am a little stubborn when it comes to the whole horse thing, but i wish you'd just give in to me and let me get a horse! i feel like you know i'd be the best horse owner, right? nope, i know for a fact that you could never be immune to all your girls pouts and you know it, you're weak for us and you should just admit that now. of course, my love, because even with no matter how much i want a horse, i know it would be asking for trouble to bring it up to the girls. because yeah, even linnéa would be asking for one, and i love you too much to subject you to all three of your girls pestering you for a horse. so you only got to deal with the one -- me. when we went out in the canoe again, did i tip the boat into the water again? no, so stop assuming that i'm going to do it every time we canoe! or i really am going to start shoving you into the water! i'm not going to lie and say i don't like seeing you wet though, because you're very sexy wet. but yes, let's rent one here and see if i'm still lucky okay? we'll see that i am and that the canoe will be perfectly fine and neither of us will end up in the water! we really do need to train oona not to attack us so much when she's roasting people, she got me good earlier though, i'll admit that. i feel like my body is the best shape and tone it's been in since i have started pole dancing, don't you think? but i love that you want to watch me so much, so i'll always do my pole dances for you, love. i did get you some shirts for your birthday to encourage your old lady talk, though mostly calling myself a cougar even though i'm not that much older than you! my mum is making me feel guilty that she doesn't have more grandchildren, like my brothers aren't capable of giving her more! but she's also making me feel guilty about us being in australia too, like we've just come here for months to hide from both our mums and not work. but you're right, i do feel bad enough that they'll both be our first visit when we're back home, because i don't like them missing the girls so much, or us so much.
but when i was in london doing promo for the film, i was like chopped liver to my mum because i didn't have the girls with me! during promo, i said something in swedish when i was annoyed because i knew the person wouldn't understand me and i was like bill would be so proud. no, don't go out and get a shirt that says ball and chain on it, which i hope they don't make! linnéa took off earlier, and i thought i was going to get winded with how fast she was moving! and i think linnéa knows how to do a somersault for real, but she knows we laugh at how she does them, so she keeps doing them wrong for our laughs. and thank you, love, it's nice to hear that i'm not old in the least because i can still do a cartwheel! i bet we could find a castle or two while we're here in australia -- i mean, they have to have one or two, right? we'll start looking for at least one! that might have been a hint, i'm just saying. george got her a castle, an i know you love me enough to get me one, right? i might be joking a little, but mostly just want to see if you reply with the right thing. i'm glad that you trust me in finding great places to eat for us, and it makes me smile that you always want to expand your palate. i love that you're adventurous like that. hey, it's alright, we've got a lot going on right now. your filming is lasting longer than we thought, and now i'm filming in australia too. we'll plan for something when we're both not busy! i'm just so glad i got to see lily-rose and george's babies while we were in ecuador, and i got to hold them both! they were so tiny, and made me miss when linnéa was small like that, made me miss having a little one that small. i like to tell myself that there are not people out there with clown kinks, even though i know there are, because that's just such a strange kink to have! you either go big or go home, right? and it should be the same thing when you're doing your kinks, if you ask me! so i'm glad you're not fazed by the fact that i want to do some really big churches for my kinks, honestly. and i'm glad that you're already looking forward to the confession booth as well, that makes me very happy to hear. i don't know, i always hear people call their boyfriends/partners their old man, even though they look young to me, so i'm calling you my old man. be thankful i'm not trying to call you daddy, because i was at the store earlier and saw a woman call her husband daddy and i just am emotionally scarred because of it. of course i know that you being a pain is your love language, it's part of why i love you so much and am utterly charmed by you, of course.
i'm still mad that you don't require a mustache for this role, how else am i to get mustache rides? but, you look hot in your military uniform, so i guess that works for me. that's true, because she does tease you a lot when you change your appearance, and it's always cute when she does it. and now that linnéa is speaking more, i have a feeling she is going to join in on teasing you, and i'm going to encourage it. since she ended up complimenting me about my black hair in the end, you might be right! though, i know i can't dye it red, because then she'll have all the roasts waiting for me. and i'm glad that you like the black hair on me, my love, even if it's starting to fade and i need to get it touched up again. please, you know i'll always find you sexy no matter what, i'm the luckiest girl because i have the hottest man. i like to believe that our horses did so good at the derby because of the extra luck from my dad too -- it makes me smile that you think the same thing. you're so smart, because you're right, i'm always going to bring up wanting a horse until you let me have a horse. though, i do love spending more time with you and our girls than i do horses, you're right about that. you'll always be my favorite three people to spend time with! i tell you i love you all the time, so that means i deserve to be getting some extra sap all the time, right? i love how you're so sure you'll get a lot of kisses because i'll knock the boat over, which we both know i won't, but i still probably kiss you anyway. even though we don't have our atvs here, i was thinking we should look and see if there are any places we can get down and dirty here on some atvs. what do you think? they have to have some mudding pits somewhere, right? and we'll find some places to rock climb as well, because i have been missing it! and i love that i got into rock climbing so much, because it's such a fun thing to do with you, i love that we love doing it as a couple, you know? either way, i'll rock climb with you anywhere! and i know we've done a lot of fun things with the girls here already, but i'm always looking for more fun things to do with them as well to make sure they're enjoying their time here as much as possible. and you know i'm happy to spoil you on your birthday, my love, so i was happy to get you everything and anything i could think of. and you thanked me plenty when i put on that lingerie too, which i can't help but still smile about, i love when you thank me like that. i might have ordered some new lingerie for here in australia as well, maybe i should wear some for you tonight? make up for all the time i've been gone. what do you think? || @skarsgardhqs
Press for Superman has been going on a little while now, and I feel like the constant theme for myself is being completely out of touch with most everything in recent pop culture. Like I can't tell you if I'm having a brat summer, because I have no idea what that means. Don't ask me what my favorite song release from the last year is, because chances are good I haven't heard any songs from that timeframe. I feel like reporters are often either frustrated by me or mystified by me for having no idea about these things. Though lucky for them, my costars are there to carry me through by explaining things and make up for me being completely clueless with all their knowledge. So, when someone compared me to Miranda Priestley and her assistants for how much they have to feed me information, I got excited because hey, I actually recognized that reference. I'll be happy when press is over and I can retreat back into my world of old time jazz, Star Wars, and my daughter. But in the meantime, while I'm still doing press, if you haven't seen Superman, do us all a solid and check it out. | @gonehollywoodstarters
as someone that had to play someone that created a dating app -- i had to get hip on all the things in recent pop culture just to play the part, and it was a lot, so i feel for you. because i'd never paid much attention to apps before i played the part and produced the film, so it was a bit surreal doing like a crash course on all things gen z. though if it makes you feel better, i've no clue what a brat summer is either. i know my future brother-in-law toured with the girl that its involved with, but that's about it. and as someone who loves classic rock and older music, i don't know much about today's music other than what my partner listens to, and that's mostly kendrick lamar. i bet the interview people weren't frustrated with you though, you seem like such a sweet man that's hard to be frustrated with! and it's always best when you have co-stars that can help you out, yeah? i was just on a press tour for my newest film and i was so overwhelmed because my partner and our kids were in australia since he's filming there, and if i didn't have my co-stars helping me through the interviews, it would have been awful. but i know press is over for you since superman is out streaming now, and i might have watched it a few times on hbo max since it came out on there! i hope you're getting to enjoy your jazz, your daughter, and your star wars. how old is your little girl? i have a bonus daughter that's six and a little girl that's about to be two in november. and like i've said, i've seen superman a few times. watched mainly for nick since he and my partner are very close friends, but stayed for your superman and rachel's lois because they were amazing! and now you've got me excited for the new one, though i hate that it won't be out until 2027. || @corenswethq
it's hard to believe another year has passed where we've been together and celebrating your birthday, but i'll just state, like i always do, that i'm so very happy that you were born today and so very happy that you're in my life. ever since i worked with your dad that first time and we met, i just knew there was something about you that was going to change my life forever, and honestly, i could have never imagined that my life would change in the way that it has thanks to you. not only did i gain a best friend, but i also gained the love of my life and someone who has given me the most precious gift of them all, children. and i wouldn't say no to a few more of those gifts, just saying. but i digress. because of you i became a mum, something i never really thought i'd do in life, and it's the best feeling in the world next to loving you that is. raising children with you has been one of the best things i've ever done, hands down, but also just being with you in general has been one of the best things i've ever done, hands down. you always have me smiling, even when you're teasing me, you're making me happy, and i can't stop grinning from ear to ear. but there's also those moments where you show me that you love me, and i love those moments the best, because you show me a side that you don't show many people, and for that i feel like i'm the luckiest woman in the world, and honestly i am. because being loved by you, there's no way anyone else could ever be luckier than that. so that's why i'm so grateful that you were born, because i know i wouldn't have nearly as amazing of a life that i have right now if you were not in it, my love, and i am so thankful that you are. i feel like i need to buy your dad another gift basket again for making sure we got to know each other, but this is about your birthday and not your dad being awesome and kind of fixing us up. but either way, i love you, and i really can't say enough how happy i am to be with you, how happy i am to have this life with you and how happy i am to be raising a family with you.
since it's your birthday, i couldn't help but want to make sure to get you some things that would make you smile, but also get you some things that would make you feel spoiled. i'll admit, some of the things i got you might seem a little silly, but i knew that you'd appreciate some gag gifts just as much as you would appreciate real gifts. just know that i spent time picking out each one with love in my heart and you in my mind, because i wanted to make sure you had the happiest of birthdays, especially since you only turn 35 once. so happy birthday, my love, i hope you have the best day today, and you know that the girls and i are going to spoil you so much today. whatever you want to do, we're going to do it. and then once the girls go to bed, after we've had your favorite dinner, i'm going to get on the pole and do a special dance for you. then once we're done with that special dance, i'll put on one of the things i got for your birthday and give you the best birthday treat a guy could ever ask for. you're going to have one of the happiest birthdays, there's no doubt about that. again, i love you, my love, and happy birthday. may all your dreams come true, may you get everything you've ever wished for, and may your year to come be everything that you hope it'll be.
i love you always and forever,
lily
everyone needs a good cake for their birthday, right? and you can never go wrong with a chocolate cake if you ask me, and i figure since chocolate seems to be both our favorite things sometimes, that's what the kids and i decided to make you for your birthday!
i read up on tradition swedish deserts and came across this swedish midsummer layer cake and decided to make that as well for your birthday, i really hope you like it, because i was so worried it wouldn't turn out well.
this candle made me laugh the minute i saw it, and honestly, i'm going to light it at random times and see how fast you give me that dick.
i was looking for a welcome mat for us, and the moment i saw this i just knew this was something you would laugh at. i can't wait to put this at the front door!
since your brothers always seem to like buying you cigars for things, i decided to get you this personal humidor.
i just felt like you needed a shirt to make sure everyone knew that you loved your hot older girlfriend.
this is to encourage you to grow another mustache and give me mustache rides since i'm a cougar, obviously.
while these are for me to wear, i figured i'd buy some new lingerie to wear for your birthday tonight once the girls go to bed. you can pick which one you want to see me in first.
you know i have a weakness for you in leather jackets, so i got you this one from saint laurent and i know it's going to look gorgeous on you.
and i had to get you some matching boots, of course!
since you won't buy me a horse and all, here's a fake one for us to ride.
this is one of those purchases that i'm not 100% sure about, but since you love to cook and since we have such a good entertainment area outside, i decided to get you this professional grill and smoker. it can also travel, hence the wheels, if you want to take it to your brothers or your parents as well.
since we like mudding on our atv's so much, i got this side by side atv where we can both be together while we're going mudding and i thought that would be a lot of fun. we'll take turns driving it!
i wanted to book us another private island vacation, but i figured this time we'd take the girls right away and just stay there for a couple of weeks when we're not filming. it's called necker island, and it's got so much fun things to do while you're on the island, that i know we'd have so much fun while we're there. and i booked the whole island, and since it sleeps 48 i was thinking maybe we could invite some family and friends to come with as well, but if you want it to be just our family i have no problem doing that either, my love.
What's not to enjoy about you being on your knees? And your lap dances, so I'd have a problem trying to choose between the two. So, it's a good thing you're so generous and willing to give them out. It's okay, you know I'm always excited for you whenever you're starting new projects. And now that you're finished filming, maybe we can figure out a vacation once we've been at home as much as we'd like to be. There's no doubt we probably take more after our dad since he's such a character, and who doesn't want to be like him? Well, you get to spoil him a little since it's his birthday, and I know he'll appreciate us all showing up to see him. I'm glad you're up for another UFC fight, especially since they have some amazing ones in Vegas! I know we're probably both afraid of melting in all that heat there during the summer, but we could probably find ways to cool off too, don't you think? I'm so glad you enjoyed the trip for rock climbing too, especially since we got some pretty cool vacation pictures. We'll keep that it was funny I made Oona cry between us, okay? And at least that's how I know that I did a great job with playing Orlok. We'll see if she ends up liking horror or if I've scarred her for life. Sorry, you're not angel no matter how much you pout. And that power won't work on me for a horse, either. Don't tell me you've been teaching Linnéa to pout already though, because that would be extremely unfair. So, you're basically shoving me into the water as a shortcut because you're going to knock the boat over? Some interesting technique, but I buy it given you always tip boats over. Plus you can't say you did that on purpose just because I look good wet, either. I'm just not a liar, which by the way isn't angelic behavior either, in case you didn't know. Well, that's certainly the advantage of having parents who roast each other regularly, that our kids will always be good at roasting people. We're teaching them our skills, after all. I love that pole dancing is getting you in such fantastic shape and it's a reason to keep going with it. Nice bonus that I get to watch. And now that we're at home again, you can always utilize the pole here. Mentioning 36 isn't old allows me to call you my old lady? I'm feeling so accomplished right now. Of course we can make our kids feel guilty when we're older, since it's practically our right as parents. Our moms are basically just teaching us the best methods for it. I know Swedish is a little weird to learn at first, but you've done a great job learning it, and I know even the girls are impressed. I don't get how calling you my ball and chain is more preferred than my old lady! If anything, that phrase is more offensive. Though I guess The Missus isn't too bad. I'm proud of Linnéa and how she's steadily getting better at walking, even if she's picking it up too quickly. And I know Oona's excited for how much she can do now, like learning how to do sommersaults, or do them in her own way since Linnéa hasn't quite perfected hers. Cartwheels will be fun too, and I'm sure you'll still be able to do one! Though I think you should practice, with me watching.
As long as you’re admitting that you’re encouraging me, which I don’t mind in the least when I love teasing you. And I’m taking note that you like castles since there are plenty of those around, though I shouldn’t be surprised with the whole princess thing, right? The girls would be thrilled with the princess treatment, too. I’m glad we managed to find a decent place for a date while we were in Japan, and you know great places to eat are always my weakness. You’re welcome to cook for me anytime you’d like to, and you always take the best care of me, for what it’s worth. Well, now that we’re back in Stockholm and I don’t have to film until August, unless you end up filming something else, maybe we can plan the dinner party before then? What do you think? The church one probably isn’t the strangest link I’ve heard though, don’t worry. Now I’m curious about which churches you have in mind, just so I have my priest garb in order. I get whatever I want in the confession booth? Because that sounds like an amazing thing to me, just saying. That’s fair, since I wasn’t planning on calling you my old lady often. And it’s also only fair you get to call me your old man, despite being younger than you are. I’m just going to be a pain and remind you of that every time, fair warning. Riding motorcycles in Japan technically counted as a date too, don’t you think? Especially when it was a lot of fun. We’ll definitely have to do that every time we’re on location. Knowing how much you like the mustache, I’m tempted! And it’ll even be worth Oona inevitably teasing me about it. Well, you could technically say you’re copying after The Little Mermaid since she’s another princess, and maybe Oona would warm to the idea with that in mind. Though yeah, she’d probably still tease you a little for it regardless. I’m laughing that you just wanted my hair to grow back. What if I end up having to shave it again for having another military role? The Kentucky Derby was a lot of fun, and seeing how it was something you’d always wanted to do, I just wanted to make sure you had the best time. Plus one of the horses we bet on won, I don’t think it gets better than that. You can admit it, you liked spending time with the horses more than you liked spending it with me. I won’t be too offended, though you’ll have to make it up to me and my feelings. That’s not fair to mention you like when I’m sappy so I’ll be tempted to be sappy more often. We’ll see, though does this mean I get extra kisses when you do end up knocking us over in the boat? Now that we’re back home again, we’ll have to race our ATVs in a mud pit like you wanted, since that seems like the perfect way of celebrating if you ask me. You were lucky and maybe I let you win, ever think about that? I appreciate you making sure we both get a lot of time with the girls, and we’ll have to plan a yacht holiday for sometime soon. I’m so glad you enjoyed our trip to Greece too, and I knew you’d enjoy the rock climbing and the views over the whole city. And it’s the type of soreness that hurts so good, right? I’m just happy you’re as into rock climbing as I am. I know going to a climbing gym in Japan wasn’t quite the same as Greece, but you still had fun, right? I’ll take you on a rock climbing vacation in Japan sometime to make up for it. | @lilsychloe
well, it makes me happy to hear that you enjoy me being on my knees -- and my lap dances so much, honestly, so i'll always be generous and willing to give both out, of course. i'll admit that i like the fact that we've had so much time off since i've finished filming, and it's been so nice being at home, hasn't it? but do you think maybe we should plan for that yacht vacation now? or should we plan for something else? that's very true, and i love that you and your siblings are so much like your dad, since i adore him so much, though i adore your mum too, of course! and it was fun getting to spoil him on his birthday, and he just proves how fantastic you're going to look as you get older, since you have his genes. i've been looking at some of the temps in vegas lately, and they've been hot, but i'm still game for a ufc fight with you there again! and i'm sure we can find a lot of ways to cool off, they have tons of amazing pools there to have fun in, right? or i can shove you in a fountain, because at some point you'll likely tease me about something. and you know i'll always be up for rock climbing with you, no matter what part of the world we're in, and we did get some great photos! and yes, we can't let her know we think her crying was funny, people might think we're bad parents! but we all already knew you did a great job as orlok, love. i think she'll end up liking horror, though, i don't believe you've scarred her for life! i'm very much an angel, and i'm going to pout a whole lot until you admit it. you're also being very stubborn about my desire for a horse i'll have you know! that's exactly why i'm teaching linnéa how to pout, because it would make you triple melt if all your girls were pouting at you at once! be lucky i haven't brought up the horse topic to the girls, but only because i don't want them upset with you for saying no. i love you and all and don't want them mad at you. no, i'm shoving you in the water for picking on me! i'm not going to tip the boat over. i don't know why you don't trust me on this, and since the weather is nicer, we're taking the canoe out sometime this week, and i'll prove it to you! but you do look good wet, by the way, so i'm not lying! oh hush, i'm a full-blown angel, and you know it! that's very true -- and i love that we're teaching our kids our roasting skills, they're going to really burn people when they're older, even though oona already is doing a pretty good job at her age! you know, i started going back to the gym since we've been home, but i swear i get a better core workout when i do the pole dancing! plus, it's fun having you watch. well, you made me feel good telling me 36 isn't old, so i'm a little more open to you calling me your old lady because of that, but only sometimes! oh, our parents did a wonderful job at teaching us the best methods for making our kids feel guilty when they're older. my mum has been the worst lately with making me feel guilty! i can't wait to do that with our kids. swedish is a little weird to learn, but i'm glad that i've done a great job learning it, plus it makes me smile that the girls are impressed. i just want to make sure linnéa speaks as fluent swedish as oona and you do, so it makes sense to speak it as much as possible at home, you know? you're right, your ball and chain is more offensive than your old lady, so don't call me that. linnéa is so good at walking now, and i agree she picked it up too quickly, and she's far too sturdy on her feet now! it still makes me giggle every time linnéa tries to do a somersault, though, because she thinks she's doing the best job and she's so happy with it, i love it. our girls are so cute! well, i did a few cartwheels with you watching, and i didn't injure myself, so i think i can do them with the girls now, right?
i had a feeling you loved teasing me -- and i do encourage it, i'll admit that. and good, because i can't help but want to go to all the castles that we can go to, and you're right, i'm very much a princess and deserve to be in castles, honestly. little jealous that lily-rose has a castle and i don't, if i'm being honest. but you're right that the girls will enjoy the princess treatment as well, and we'll make sure to get them the best princess gear, right? we did have some great dates while we were in japan, didn't we? and we had some great food, which i always love that great places to eat are your weakness too, because i always love finding great places for us to eat because of it. i'm just glad you like my cooking when i do cook for you, love, and glad to hear i take the best care of you too. yes! let's plan the dinner party before you start filming in august, because as of right now i don't start filming anything until october, so we've got a lot of free time! i want to invite lily-rose and george so i can get my hands on those new babies. now you've got me wondering what's the strangest kink you've heard. well, i was thinking st. peters in rome and notre dame in paris for starters, because we should go big, right? of course, if you're going along with my kink, that means you get whatever you want in the confession booth, that's the rule. okay, good, then i'll allow you to call me your old lady from time to time. and hush, you might be younger than me, but you're still my old man. you wouldn't be the man i love if you weren't a pain and reminded me of that every time. so, i told you i liked the mustache ages ago and you've still not grown another one, love, i'm pouting over here about it. or are you to worried about getting teased by oona about it? which if that's the case, i understand, she'd been a menace with teasing lately. that's very true, and i could have gone with that had i dyed my hair red -- but since i dyed it black, i'm not sure oona knows what to think or how to make fun of me just yet, but i can sense it deep in her soul that she wants to make fun of me. you like my black hair though, right? if you need to shave your hair again because of having another military role, i suppose i'll be okay with it, because i do find you sexy no matter what. you did make it so i had the best time at the kentucky derby, there was no doubt about that, and it made me so happy. and it was neat having a horse we bet on win, i've never been lucky with betting before! i did like spending time with the horses, because they're so beautiful and they made me want one, but you know i'll always love spending time with you more than anything. so no needing to make it up to your feelings, because you're my favorite person to spend time with, well you and our kids. so me saying i love when you're sappy will get me more sappiness from you? i love it, because i really really love when you're sappy. if i knocked us over in the boat, which i won't, but if i did, i would give you all the kisses you wanted. i had so much fun racing the atvs in a mud pit with you. we got so dirty and gross, but it was the best feeling in the world. can we do it again? oh you're silly, you didn't let me win, i'm just awesome. maybe we can plan for the yacht holiday next week? i don't think we're doing anything, are we? rock climbing in greece was so gorgeous, and i loved getting to see all the views too, and would love to find more rock climbing places like that! and yes, that soreness is a good hurt that i rather enjoy a lot, so i'm glad that i got into rock climbing and that it's something we can do together, love. oh, i did have fun at the climbing gym! and you know i'll be all for a rock climbing holiday in japan as well, since i loved being there so much and i would love to go back. but right now i just want to take a holiday with you and our girls! || @skarsgardhqs
Do you ever have those random moments when you realize being an adult is such a great thing? Looking past all the ways it's sometimes stressful, I mean, and just embracing the personal perks of adulthood? For instance, my parents used to only allow us one, maybe two sugary treats a month in our household, and that's if we were lucky. So of course now, I eat desserts damn near every day, and there's always a lot of excitement around having cupcakes or donuts or iced coffee, all the things I know would have made my parents cringe. Not to mention all the occasions for celebratory cake. And I always do that with a lot of delight because hey, I can make or order and eat as many treats as I'd like. Never claimed I was a responsible adult, but you know, if that means having sweets, that's fine with me. So, what's your favorite part about adulthood? And if it's eating sweets like it's the case with me, maybe we can share some cupcakes. | @gonehollywoodstarters
it's funny that i love being an adult, obviously -- but a lot of the time, i have those random moments where i wish i was young again, especially when i'm watching my bonus daughter and my daughter playing, and i think my god, wouldn't it be lovely to be as carefree as them? but then i remember all those perks i have as an adult, and it doesn't last long, but sometimes dreaming about being young again is nice, isn't it? sorry, i got off the track there for a moment. it sounds like you and my partner would get along really well -- because he's very much a man for sweet treats, i don't think he's ever met one that he'd turn down. and he loves making them as well, though i'll admit that i love making them for him too, because you can never have too many sweets, right? and that really is a perk of being an adult, no one can tell you how few sweets you can eat now! my mum was on that eating little sweets train when i was a child, and it was nonsense if you ask me! though, i would say my favorite part of adulthood is just being able to mostly do what you want, within reason, without having to answer to anyone. i mean, i know to a point i can't do anything i want because i have a partner and a family -- so i do have to run things by him, but for the most part i can do what i want, and i love that part of being an adult. especially when my mum was a little on the helicopter parent side. || @dastmalchianhq
What can I say, anything that involves you being on your knees is excellent in my book, even when it's asking for forgiveness. I'll definitely keep it in mind that you want to return the favor on a fantasy for me, and the moment I think of one we haven't done, you'll be the first to know. It's just a rite of passage for kids, being embarrassed by their parents, so that includes both of us. Do I still deserve lap dances even though I've finished filming? The important question. I'm all for just enjoying the house for a little while now that we're back from vacation, and not just because I'm sore from climbing. I know, and it's like my mom just join the family when she's shocked about our humor, like she wasn't married to dad and know that's probably where we get it from. We'll definitely have to go on another UFC vacation sometime soon, since we just covered a rock climbing one. Well, at least most people seemed to be scared of Orlok than wanting him like those weird Twitter folks, right? Plus making Oona cry while I was in costume was all worth it, if that doesn't make me a completely terrible father. I think Linnéa takes after you, thriving on attention, just like you're the bad influence too. Maybe she'll like horror too, though. Oh, plotting like that pretty much disqualifies you as an angel, sorry to say. And you're making plans with that pout of yours. You can promise not to accidentally fall into the water again though! And if you shoved me into it, just goes to show you want to get me wet in advance for knowing you'd knock the boat into the water later. That's not how being an angel works, and you keep treating the halo like a loophole, which it is not. We'll just have to see if your canoe skills are any better, though I'm still banking on being in the water at some point, and not just because you pushed me! If Linnéa is anything like Oona, she won't have much problem with roasting people at all. If the pole dancing is helping your leg muscles, just all the more reason to keep at it, don't you think? And a bonus that I get to watch. You're saying that like 36 is old, and it's not in the least, despite that you won't let me call you my old lady. We can definitely tell both our moms not to make us feel guilty, though at this rate, they'd probably do that for the fun of it. I'm glad us rubbing off on you has helped your Swedish so much, and you're doing great with it, honestly. You're not fun, just wanting me to call you my partner. I'll crack some other phrase you like before you know it, just you wait. Well, you know Linnéa would look cute in any suit in my biased opinion, though she's doing a little better with walking now, don't you think? Maybe not as wobbly as before. Plus with Oona around to teach her tricks like somersaults, I know she'll have walking down in no time at all.
They'll definitely be cute playing together, and a plus that we don't have to go to the gym as much when running after them will be a workout in itself. You basically just said that you love teasing, so I hope you know that you're just encouraging me at this point. It was a good idea to have a date night at a castle while we were in Ireland too, and who knew you had a soft spot for those, being a princess and all? I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised, technically. I won't even argue if you want to cook for me, let that be known. And you are amazing at taking care of me, for what it's worth. You make a good point that high quality catering needs to be booked early, and we'll make sure we do that once we figure out when we can have our dinner party. Who knew being in an actual church would be a turn-on and inspire you to get on your knees? Well, you know I'm all for going to both abandoned churches and occupied churches for the cause, just say the word. Plus we wouldn't be doing things right if we didn't sneak into a confessional booth, don't you think? And well, are you giving me permission to call you my old lady in public? Because I could, you know I'll take advantage in a heartbeat. We could always rent motorcycles on location if you'd like, and it'd be a fun way to explore new places, don't you think? You're going to end up encouraging me to grow another mustache with that kind of talk. And of course it cracks you up when Oona makes fun of me, though don't think you won't be a target if you have to change your appearance in any way. I don’t know how you didn’t just make a wish given how many times you rubbed my head! Although at least it’s growing back now. The trip to Kentucky Derby should be a lot of fun, and I’ll get to see what you like so much about it. Are we betting on the horses too? I should have known part of it was a fancy dress and hat. Does that mean you’ll help me out with something to wear? You would like it when I’m sappy! Though it makes me happy that you liked the gifts, and honestly, anything that puts a smile on your face works for me since you know I love seeing you smile. Does that count as romantic? If you don’t actually knock us over in the canoe, which I’m thinking you’re going to, I’ll gladly apologize for all my picking on you. Oh, it seems you already have an ATV at your disposal, so I’m all for racing and winning anytime you’d like to. You know we’ll all happily go with to Botswana, since we all like keeping you company. Although I’m thinking about if we both end up filming at the same time, what we’d do with the kids and the like. The girls will definitely feel spoiled on the yacht, and from what you’re saying about a pool and private chef, I’m going to feel spoiled, and I already can’t wait to go on his vacation. Speaking of, did you enjoy our vacation in Greece? I have a feeling you did, though just want to make sure with the rockclimbing. | @lilsychloe
i had a feeling that you enjoyed me being on my knees for you -- and especially liked it when i'm asking for forgiveness. and that sounds good to me, love, though i do love we've already ticked so many of your fantasy boxes, same with mine, honestly. you know i'm willing to give you lap dances no matter if you're filming or not, since i enjoy giving them to you! i'm sorry that we're not getting to enjoy the house as much as we'd have liked since i'm working again, but glad we got some time to rest after vacation, especially since we were both pretty sore from the climbing. exactly! and after watching your dad on stephen colbert the other night, i realized even more just how much you guys are like your father, so your mum has to see that too. your dad was cracking me up, though, on that show. he's the best sort of father-in-law. i'm all for going on another ufc holiday sometime soon, love, and i'm still smiling about our rock climbing one since it was perfect! yes! you did a good job of scaring people as orlok, and i'm laughing that you just said it was all worth it to make oona cry, though you know i'll never say you're a terrible father, especially when it was kind of funny she cried, but don't tell her i said that! you're silly in thinking that i'm a bad influence on linnéa when clearly i'm the best influence! it would be cute if she liked horror, though, i love the thought of that. nope, even with my plotting, i'm still an angel, sorry to say. i have more plans with my pout too -- horse related plans, which you already know about because i told you i wanted a horse at the kentucky derby. but don't worry, i've not said it in front of the girls, so you'll not have three pouts thrown at you. i've already told you we weren't going to fall into the water again, you just don't want to believe in me! which is why you're going to get shoved into the water! maybe i just want to get you wet because you look good wet, and not because i know i'm going to knock the boat into the water later? maybe i want to objectify you? i just don't think you understand how i'm a perfect angel, and you don't want to accept that, and it's probably because you're a heathen. the only way we'll both end up in the water is if i push you in and i then just decide to jump in after you, so that's that. i have a feeling linnéa is going to be just like oona with roasting people. i feel like any children we have will be good at roasting people, honestly. i like the way you think because i feel like the pole is really helping my muscles all around, honestly, so i'll keep it up, don't worry. got to find a pole here in tokyo, right? well, you're making me smile telling me 36 isn't old in the least, and that's almost enough to let you call me your old lady. i wouldn't be shocked if both of our mums make us feel guilty for fun, does that mean we can make our kids feel guilty when they're older for fun too? i'm glad too, because i always felt so awkward with my swedish at first, but i love that i'm getting better and that we can speak swedish more around the house for the girls sake! i'm sorry that i'd rather you call me your partner and not a term that has old in it, why don't you just call me your ball and chain? the missus? i mean, linnéa looks cute in anything, so i agree with you on that. but she is doing a lot better with walking now and is not so wobbly. plus, she looks so proud of herself when she walks without falling too, which is adorable. oona teaching her somersaults is probably my favorite thing, especially with how linnéa tries to do them. i can't wait until she's old enough that i can show her a cartwheel, if my old self can still do one, that is!
i did say that i love the teasing -- so i guess you're right that i'm encouraging you at this point, and that's fine, because it really does make me smile. i do love when we have date nights when we're on location, and even more when we can have one at a castle, because you're right, since i'm a princess, they are a massive soft spot for me. once a princess, always a princess, right? i was thinking we'll have to find a good spot to have a date night here in japan, though, don't you think? because i'd like to have it at least once while we're here. i'm glad you won't ever argue when it comes to cooking for you, since i love to do that from time to time. and i love hearing that i'm amazing at taking care of you, since i love to take care of you, love. that sounds good to me, though both you and i keep booking new roles, so we're both booked and busy right now. hopefully we'll find time to even have that dinner party! well, i don't have many strange kinks, but my church one might be borderline, so i'm glad you've been willing to roll with it. so it means a lot that you're willing to go to both abandoned churches and occupied churches with me for the cause, and i'm already thinking about which ones we can visit! and you're right, sneaking into a confessional booth is a must, and you'll get whatever you want in that confessional booth, just saying. if i tell you that you can call me your old lady in public, can i place limits on it? like you can only call me it once in a while? and can i call you my old man? i love the idea of renting motorcycles when we're on location -- and i'm thinking about how fun it'll be to ride them here in japan. what do you think? wait really? you'll grow another mustache? because yes, please. i'm sorry, it's just so cute when oona teases you, i can't help but laugh! oh believe me, i know, i asked her what she'd think if i dyed my hair red, and she scrunched up her nose like it was the worst idea i've ever had, so i know if i ever dye my hair red, i'm going to get teased. i did make a wish! that your hair would grow back, and it did, so. the kentucky derby was a lot of fun, right? i mean, you enjoyed yourself, didn't you? and thank you for indulging me like you did, love. i know wearing the outfit you did wasn't your favorite, but it meant a lot to me that you matched the girls and i! plus, it was fun betting, wasn't it? i'm glad we decided to bet on two different horses, and one of them was the horse that won. that was fun! and thanks for coming with me to look at the horses before the race, that was probably my favorite part too. i loved the time alone with you, but the horses were so gorgeous. as you can tell, i had the best time! i love when you're sappy, since it's rare when you are and it always makes me happy! like right now, you saying you love seeing me smile, that's you being sappy! and of course romantic, you old sap. you're going to have to kiss me a lot to make it up to me for all this talking bad about me you've been doing when i don't know us over, just saying. we had fun racing our atv's once we got home, right? we just need a mud pit to race them in next, that'll be so much fun and dirty! also, i won, not you! well, so far we're lucky that you don't have to work yet, but i've been wondering the same thing because i want to make sure you get the same time with the girls too. i feel like we're all going to be spoiled on the yacht holiday and want to go on more yacht holidays because of it! i did enjoy our trip to greece a whole lot, it was the perfect getaway for just the two of us, and the rockclimbing with you was so much fun. i was really sore when we got home, so you know we had fun rockclimbing! maybe we can find a place to rockclimb while we're in japan? || @skarsgardhqs
Bill couldn't say he was familiar with the Kentucky Derby despite having grown up with horses himself, and he hadn't had much interest in attending until Lily expressed a desire to go. For Bill, that instantly turned any indifference about seeing the race around since he knew it meant something to Lily, and therefore knew would make her happy. Plus he had a feeling their girls would also enjoy the weekend and the horses, so under Lily's guidance, Bill was all on board for the Kentucky Derby. Besides, maybe there was the chance it would become a tradition, which he had a feeling Lily would be more than excited about, given the race had already been on her bucket list. Bill took her lead on wardrobe and picked out a suit that matched the colors of Lily's dress and hat, a turquoise suit decorated with pink flowers that to him was certainly a busy design, but Bill was always a good sport about these the things that made Lily happy. He had a feeling she'd love the suit and that they matched, even if he felt a little silly and Oona had confirmed that feeling when she giggled at his attire and couldn't stop picking at the fabric flowers. But seeing the way Lily was enthusiastic about attending the race and the added bounce to her step. Bill knew that was worth any teasing and wearing a suit he wouldn't have touched otherwise. Bill was all too willing to accompany Lily to the horses for a visit before the race, especially with how excited she'd been to see them, something Bill thought was endearing as he gave her hand an affectionate squeeze. Watching Lily interact with the horses was a treat in itself, and while Bill would have normally moved in to interact with them too, he felt content to let Lily mainly do so, knowing how much just being there meant to her. And the horses were gorgeous, as expected when they were top race horses, far more elegant than the ones he grew up with even despite Bill loving them as much as he did. Just when Lily was taking a closer look at Sandman, a gorgeous gray horse, Bill was on the verge of teasing and saying they couldn't kidnap him, and that he knew she was thinking about it. So her next words outright made him chuckle for the chain of thought, before he shook his head. "You're worse than Oona," he told her, playful lilt to his voice. Sandman's neighing briefly cut through the conversation, which Bill took the opportunity to capitalize on. "See, he agrees with me," Bill teased, grinning over at Lily. But for the most part, Bill let Lily interact with the horse and watched her with a smile, knowing just how happy she was to meet with any of the racehorses. He couldn’t help laughing again hearing her talk about leaving out of being tempted to steal the horses, which was something he knew had crossed her mind, without a doubt. “You’re right, and we also can’t watch the race if we’re in jail, either. This guy would be disappointed if you missed his race, too.” When Lily moved closer, Bill instinctively leaned down a little to make it easier for her, giving her lips a quick kiss in return and smiling a little when he met her gaze after. He wasn’t expecting Sandman to chomp his teeth in that moment, least of all at Lily. “Is he upset that we didn’t bring him a snack?” Bill asked, grinning a little and looking at Lily. “I mean, are they allowed to eat those before races or would we be committing the same crime as trying to kidnap them?” | @lilsychloe
it really meant the world to lily that bill was so quick to be on board with going to the derby -- and that he was all for taking the girls as well. she loved the idea of this being a possible tradition for them, a memory that she not only had with her dad in watching it with him, but a memory she could make with her partner and their girls by possibly going every year. a thought that made lily emotional, honestly, and she did her very best not to get all misty-eyed as she thought about it, but she couldn't help it, because her dad would be beyond thrilled that she was here right now with the love of her life and their daughters. it also meant the world to her that bill went along with the dressing theme as well, so when he came out wearing the suit that he was, she couldn't stop grinning or stop kissing him for how happy she was. and she told him countless times that he looked handsome -- no matter how many times oona laughed as she picked at the flowers on bill's suit, lily was beaming because they matched, and she made sure to put the girls in hot pink and turquoise as well. they were a family that matched, and lily couldn't help but love that, and she knew they would get plenty of photos together before the event was over! she was going to want to hold onto those photos for sure, given the memories she wanted to keep from this being her first kentucky derby and all. lily couldn't recall the last time she was so bouncy and full of energy, and she caught bill smiling at her a few times, so she knew that he was probably amused by her mood, and that honestly just made her happier. plus, when they went to visit the horses, she was so glad that bill was with her not only for the alone time with him, but so they could experience seeing the horses together and be up close with such important horses as well. some of these horses were over eight million dollars, which was wild to lily, and being around them made her feel a little awestruck. while she couldn't help but want a horse herself, maybe two, she knew she could never afford something that was so elegant as these horses, so it was nice to see them up close and personal. which is why she said what she did to bill about getting one, and she couldn't help but laugh when he shook his head and said she was worse than oona. "where do you think oona gets it from?" lily can't help but tease right back, because sometimes lily was guilty of hinting while the girls were near that she wanted a pet and getting the girls to join in so they were triple teaming bill. lily just laughed when sandman neighed, and bill took that as the horse agreeing with him, and lily just shook her head. "nope, as soon as we're back in sweden that's a conversation we're going to have," lily joked, before getting caught up with talking to sandman and telling him he was a good and pretty boy. and seriously, if she could steal him, she would because he was the prettiest horse there, no doubt about that. she laughed at bill saying they couldn't watch the race if they were in jail either, and she gave him a playful look with her brows raised before speaking, "or have conjugal visits since we'll both be prisoners and all." lily made a pleased sound when he leaned down a little and kissed her back when she kissed him and just gave him a sweet smile when their gazes met. and when sandman chomped his teeth at lily, she wasn't at all afraid since she had moved out of the way and honestly had been warned it could happen. "maybe? he's probably thinking, this lady is sweet-talking me but didn't think to bring me a sweet treat too?" she chewed on her bottom lip for a moment and looked around before looking at bill. "i don't know if they're allowed to eat those before races because i think they do inspections after the race, so it probably is just as serious as kidnapping to them -- but i'm so tempted to go and get him an apple right now." she laughed before batting her eyes at bill, "if i go get him an apple and get arrested, you'd bail me out, right, love?" || @skarsgardhqs
