before I learned civility

Lily Eliora Evans; 18, former Gryffindor, assistant potioneer, Order member

[lilyeliora-archive]

benjy-whoisleft​:

-

The second realization hit Benjy, the sheep had dissipated into a cloud of silver before fading into nothing. He had to take a few deep breaths to rein it in, finding his focus and a bit more calm—though the elation really only helped casting a second. This time, it lingered a bit more and gave Benjy a chance to get a proper look as it plodded around the grass, circling Lily and her doe for a moment. 

It brought him to laughing again so quickly, and he sat down hard next to her. “It’s a doe!” he agreed without a single idea why it was so funny. It didn’t matter. It was. He wiped the corner of his eyes again, trying to take a solid enough breath to get anything else from her. “Okay, okay,” he tried. “Why? A doe, I mean." 

He reached out to his, giving it a gentle poke and surprised by its warmth. It made sense; he knew it was magic which came with a warmth, but he suppose he suspected a similar chill to the one that came from ghosts. The sheep took it, barely startling at the "contact” and pawing the ground without making a dent.

“God, it looks just like Mia. Not a single thought behind those beautiful eyes, is there?” Just like that, it disappeared again, quicker this time. “Look at that, I think I’ve offended her.” Of course, he did. Entirely appropriate, that.

-

Why a doe? Truth be told, Lily wasn’t sure. If she’d had more of her wits about her, she might have been put out that she had such a soft patronus. She’d been hoping for something a little bit fierce, like a big cat, or a wolf. But as the doe dissolved into silvery mist, Lily found that she missed it, and not just the warm glow it emitted. She missed its gentleness and its bright eyes and alert ears. It felt right in her bones, for all that it wasn’t what she’d expected.

As for why it was so funny, that was easier. Your patronus was the animal form of your soul, after all, and Lily’s was a doe. A doe is a female stag and Lily was dating a stag, basically. Oh, James is going to have a field day with this, she thought. Lily looked around until she located James, and was not at all surprised to see a stately stag, that looked suspiciously like Prongs, standing next to him. That pulled a fresh wave of giggles out of her, and she leaned against Benjy for support.

“I love stags!” She blurted, then broke down again, because that was a ridiculous thing to say. She tried again. “Stags have been my favorite animal since I was little. They’re the king of the forest, you know? And now my patronus is a female stag.”

She took a deep breath to collect herself and pushed a handful of red curls out of her face. “What about you, why a sheep? Are they especially stubborn and opinionated?” She was mostly joking. She knew Benjy’d grown up on a farm, but she had no idea if it was the kind of farm that had sheep.

[lilyeliora-archive]

sirius-whoisleft​:

- 

“There’s the charm,” Sirius said at once, the words spring-boarding from his lips like he’d had them held there in his cheek the whole time he searched for Lily, lying in wait and ready for emergency deployment at the first sign of either fight or flight. 

He hadn’t been lying, when he approached; the toothless niceties were impossible to swallow and—well, self-loathing aside—all it took was some familiar sass from someone who knew he wasn’t breakable. Sirius didn’t feel better, but he did feel a shade more human. Which was something. It was a lot, actually. 

Sirius’s greeting had keep capped with a cheesy snap-and-point of his fingers, but he put his hand to better use now, fishing a pack of cigarettes out of his shirt pocket and tossing them into the grass by his knee—part laziness, part offer—as he considered whether it would feel odder to ask Lily for a light or to spark up himself, putting his wand to its first use since it’d lit up his nerves the night before. 

Alastor Moody had raised a big stink when the new recruits first arrived, chain smoking and surrounded by a cloud of London smog they’d brought with them. There was muttering about lung capacity and running for your lives and five more laps, Lupin and Black, you can join Sinclair. 

The only thing Sirius needed right now more than a cigarette was to break that pesky little rule of Moody’s. 

Not because Sirius was mad at him, but because Sirius was mad at himself – for how suddenly, deeply and desperately he wanted the older man’s approval. It was a revolting kind of irony that might have taken Sirius by surprise, if he hadn’t gone through it before; devils and idols all looking the same when his back was against the wall. Some rebellion was the only cure he’d ever found for it. It never held for long, but they weren’t at the Barns for much longer, either. 

“So,” he said slowly. “I’m sure you know what I want to talk to you about.” Humor wiped from his expression, Sirius fixed Lily with an unblinking stare and arranged his face into something flat, sober and serious that—ironically enough—made him look just as young as he actually was; a rare sight. “I’m back on women, and I’m in love with you. Run away with me, be my bride.” 

-

“You’re impossible.” It fell out of Lily’s mouth as easily as Sirius’ words had sprung from his. Old patterns were hard to break, even on unsteady footing. It was with warm familiarity and fondness that Lily rolled her eyes. 

The pack of cigarettes didn’t rest on the ground long before Lily picked it up, tapping one out for herself, then another for Sirius. She put the cigarette between her lips and, for the briefest second, waited for Sirius to offer to light it for her, as he so often did, before realizing he might not want to use his wand right now and withdrawing her own. She knew they’d get in trouble if they were caught, but she didn’t care. Right now, she was spoiling for a fight, especially one with Alastor Moody. 

It was a dangerous mood for her to be in, not for herself but for the people around her. Ironically, the safest person for her to be around in this state was Sirius. Sirius, who understood the dangerous glint in her eye, who was all too familiar with the reckless rage burning in her. Before she knew him, Lily never would have thought she had anything in common with Sirius Black, but now she knew better. Now she knew he understood what it was to love fiercely, with fire in your veins.

Lily had been lucky enough to avoid the extra laps when they first arrived, not being a habitual smoker like Sirius and Remus, but she would have welcomed them now. It would have given her something to do with the angry energy rattling her bones. So she focused on inhaling the smoke, like if she took a hard enough drag Moody would somehow sense it. She held the smoke in her lungs until they started to burn and she finally exhaled. It didn’t magically summon Moody, but the action made her feel incrementally better nonetheless. 

Under other circumstances, Lily might have pushed Sirius to stop making jokes and talk about his feelings. She undoubtedly would later. But in the midst of it, she was grateful for the normalcy of his joking, it made it easier for her to ignore her rage. So she adopted a similarly solemn face to his. “Oh Sirius, I’m so glad you’ve finally stopped denying your feelings. We’ll have a little cottage in the Cotswolds and ten children.” She capped off her gushing with an exaggerated bite of her banana, rolling her eyes in fake ecstasy as she chewed following up with a shit-eating grin.

[lilyeliora-archive]

the-harperbaddock​:

Standing in the midst of the cat supplies, the variety of the offerings impressed Harper; it was like there was something for each cat. That means there’s a cat for you, she told herself, but manage your expectations the voice in her head nagged.

She soon returned to Lily and the cats, ready to jump back in. She was going to find the cat that was right for her. Maybe it would be today— she hoped it would be— but she wasn’t going to force it if it didn’t feel right.

Harper tilted her head slightly at Lily; “Thank you” she replied, hoping to convey how touched she was that the young woman had continued looking while she took a moment to recompose herself. Her gaze followed Lily’s outstretched hand until she was met with beautiful blue eyes blinking back at her.

With butterflies of anticipation, she made her way towards the cage; second row from the bottom, second to last column on the right. She saw the label that Lily had indicated, “sweet and clever.”

“Hi there” Harper found herself cooing to the cat as she reached out a hand for her to sniff, “You’re such a pretty kitty!” She didn’t know much about cat breeds, but this cat appeared to be some sort of siamese-balinese type mix; fur that was mainly whitish cream colored, with bluish-grey points and tabby markings on her head, legs, and tail.

The butterflies in her stomach intensified and the voice inside her head returned. Don’t get attached, it chanted like a mantra. But as the cat sniffed and then nuzzled forehead first into her hand, Harper couldn’t help but crack a smile, letting out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. Slowly withdrawing her hand and starting to turn back to Lily, her head whipped back around when she felt a tap on her hand. Sure enough, a single paw rested on her hand, and the cat let out a cheerful meow.

Returning her hand to its position just inside the cage, Harper turned her head over her shoulder to Lily, and motioned her over with her free hand.

“I think she likes me?!” she half-asked, half-stated, voice full of cautious optimism.

-

Lily watched Harper interact with the cat with growing excitement. It was obvious the two were connecting, and it was a special thing to witness. Nevertheless, she did her best to keep her enthusiasm to herself, not wanting to spook the cat or Harper. She waited as patiently as she could, all the while grinning like an idiot. It made her want to go home and cuddle Chess.

When Harper turned to look at her, Lily smiled and nodded encouragingly. When the cat reached a little paw through the cage toward Harper’s hand, Lily couldn’t help but coo. Chess had never been so sweet with her so soon. It was definitely a good sign, and Lily’s heart, already quite a watery thing, melted. She surreptitiously wiped happy tears out of the corner of her eyes as she came to stand beside Harper at the cage. “I think you’re right! Do you want to get her out of her cage and hold her?”

Without properly waiting for an answer, Lily turned and waved over the clerk, who’d returned to the front of the store. She could have opened the cage herself, and in fact had many times before, but she had a feeling Harper might be more comfortable with an employee’s permission. When the clerk arrived, she turned to Harper and gave the woman another encouraging nod, letting her take the lead on explaining what they wanted to do.

[lilyeliora-archive]

emma-whoisleft​:​

- 

Emma’s raised hand fell through empty air as Lily opened the door, interrupting the encore of earlier knocks. She recoiled slightly at the sight of her redheaded former classmate standing on the threshold – from the surprise, more than anything else. Emma hated surprises on a good day; days when her plans weren’t thrown off by sudden reunions with one fellow former prefect or the news that the one she’d actually come to see was nowhere to be found. 

“But we have plans,” Emma said; blunt and thrown and sounding very much like the universe ought to have made it impossible for Remus to be out when he’d made plans with her to be here. “Did he say when he’d be back?” 

Without waiting for an answer—much less an invitation—Emma stepped around Lily and into the flat, taking in her surroundings with a placid, implacable frown. They’d moved in more properly since Emma’s first tour of the flat, strategically planned during one of Sirius’s cursebreaking orientations. It was a mark that their friendship could continue to function even post-education, in Emma’s mind – the fact that she did not need to ask Remus to make sure her path crossed with Sirius’s as little as possible, and that he did not need to ask her if it was necessary. 

The place looked more lived in now, more loved. Newspaper pages scattered the kitchen table, but didn’t cover up a ring left on the wood from a coffee cup earlier in the day. Books populated shelves; one was draped over the arm of a comfortable, secondhand-looking chair by the huge factory windows. Plants—that she knew were Remus’s, especially because she’d weighed in on some of the pots herself—stretched toward the sunlight and soaked up all the air the high ceilings had to offer. 

It wasn’t to her taste. 

But, it seemed like a place where Remus would be happy. There was no accounting for taste, but that did count for something. 

“Why are you here, then?” Emma asked. Again, she did not wait for an answer before she paused, finding a target for her thoughtful frown in the form of the boys’ coffee table. She bent over and took hold of one edge. “Help me move this,” she said, the command directed at Lily amid a raised brow and a pointed look. “They picked the worst place for it.” 

-

Emma Vanity was not Lily's favorite person. She was, in fact, not even one of Lily’s favorite people. Much to Lily’s chagrin, Emma Vanity was a person she rather disliked. So of the people Lily might have reasonably been faced with upon opening Remus and Sirius’ door, Emma Vanity would have been her last choice. Nevertheless, there they stood, Lily: short, out of shape, bohemian, and Emma: still short but in a scary way, stately, and looking like she could crush a watermelon between her no doubt well toned thighs. 

Not that these differences were the reason for Lily’s dislike. No, Lily had retained the happy childhood belief that she could be anything she wanted to be, so for Lily these differences were more a matter of choice than inferiority. There were other, and to Lily more important, differences that were the seed of Lily’s tepid regards toward Emma. One of which immediately charged to the forefront as Emma declared her plans with Remus as if he should always be at her beck and call.

Lily stepped quickly out of the way as Emma burst into the apartment. She tried to keep a friendly expression to her face and tone, leading by example, as she’d done as Head Girl. “If you have plans, I’m sure Remus will be back soon.” Patience, not entitlement, she thought as Emma surveyed the flat with a less than enthused expression. Lily privately rolled her eyes while Emma’s back was turned.

The problem with Emma, in Lily’s opinion, was she was given too much as a child. Not that Lily knew any details about Emma’s childhood, but you could tell, she was not one accustomed to lack, or the word, ‘no.’ It rubbed Lily the wrong way, how Emma seemed to expect everything to turn up Emma not in the hard-won optimistic way Lily did, but in a too-privileged way. Emma always reminded Lily of one of her father’s sayings, ‘never wield such power, you forget to be polite.’

Lily opened her mouth to answer Emma’s question, then shut it again as the former Slytherin barreled onward without waiting for a response. Her eyebrows crept upward in a look that Remus would have recognized as a sign of impending doom. Lily didn’t want to start a fight with one of Remus’ friends, even if she did think Remus should do better. But Lily did not yet have all the patience that age brings, and she wasn’t about to stand around and let Emma ruin Sirius and Remus’ apartment, much less help. So she stood her ground and made no move except to cross her arms over her chest. “I’m pretty sure Remus and Sirius like it fine where it is, since they put it there.”

[the-alicefortescue]

Summer Walks, Little Talks //

Outfitted in a floral sundress, her hair up in a messy bun, Alice was at ease. She breathed in the fresh air as she began her stroll through one of the gardens near her humble apartment abode. The abundance of parks, gardens, and walking paths nearby was one of her favorite features of the area. Patches of various flowers bloomed throughout, and she fought the temptation to plop herself down next to one. It was a shame she forgot to throw a book into her bag on her way out the door.

It was a beautiful August Saturday; she was free of order and auror work (barring a crisis or emergency), and she and Frank had a date night planned for later. Alice continued walking, smiling when she noticed the group of small birds that flittered around as if they were playing tag, and waving to a mother and small child holding hands while the the child took unsteady steps on the grass.

A few minutes later, Alice heard another set of footsteps not too far behind her. She automatically slid her hand into her crossbody purse, before even checking who it was. Best case scenario, it was someone harmless (to her, at least) and she’d pull out a candy to offer them; worst case, she’d pull out her wand ready to defend herself.

[lilyeliora-archive]

-

Lily was never one to turn up her nose at a nice day. They were still a rare treat, coming from the North as she did, and she savored every second of it. At the moment, that savoring looked like a leisurely walk through one of her favorite London parks. She’d brought along a book and a blanket and was looking for the perfect sunny patch to settle in when she noticed Alice Fortescue was on the path a few yards ahead of her. 

Lily met Alice for the first time when she arrived at Hogwarts. Lily had been a bundle of nerves and excitement, and Alice had been the all-knowing and, most importantly, kind prefect. Alice was the person first year Lily went to whenever she had a question or was struggling. Years later, when Lily herself became a prefect, she sent Alice a letter, thanking her for all of the support and inspiration. Whenever Lily faced a difficult decision as a prefect, and later as Head Girl, she asked herself, what would Alice do?

She’d been thrilled to see Alice at her first Order meeting. It had been such a moment of fate and affirmation for Lily, a sign that she was making the right decision and moving in the right direction. She may not have trusted all of the leadership of the Order, but she knew Alice, and she trusted her. It had also been a moment of validation, Lily had idolized Alice as a young girl, and now she knew she was right to.

Lily picked up her pace to catch up with Alice, and when she noticed the older woman reaching into her bag, Lily called out, “Hullo, Alice! Are you enjoying the lovely weather?”

[rxtaskeeter-deactivated20210706]

white noise // rita & lily

date: 6th august, 1978 time: 2:30pm location: apothecary @lilyeliora

Rita took her job very seriously. She had to - no one else did. Oftentimes at work she felt as though she were the unofficial Daily Prophet mascot, someone for people to parade around in a show of team solidarity but who, when it came down to it, was ignored and taken for granted. She worked more hours than the majority of the other employees did, not just because of her love of information and gossip, but because she was trying to prove herself as a legitimate member of the paper. When not chasing a story or reading tips, she was making connections that she knew would serve her well in future, or writing ideas for how she could better improve her column. It was exhausting, but it was all worth it if it would benefit her career and the paper.

Every so often, however, she needed to do something just to amuse herself. For the sake of her health.

She had received a tip that morning that she was almost entirely certain was false, her keen instincts telling her it was some bored or bitter ex-classmate trying to cause trouble. But she would be remiss if she didn’t follow it up, and besides, it was only a short walk down Diagon Alley from the Prophet office to the apothecary where Lily Evans was an apprentice. It had been a long and difficult morning involving a staff meeting and a disagreement over what did or didn’t constitute ‘inappropriate phrasing’, and consequently Rita had that itch that only someone like her could get - the itch to annoy someone.

Gryffindor and Ravenclaw weren’t exactly two houses that ran in conjunction easily, brawn and brains being as different as they were, and so while Rita was well-acquainted with the gossip surrounding Lily, she was less familiar with the girl herself. (Although really, what others said about a person was often more important than the person themselves.) Stood in the apothecary, leaning against a barrel of porcupine quills and observing her target, she couldn’t imagine that there was much else going on below the surface presented before her, though she supposed she shouldn’t jump to such conclusions so quickly. Rita fixed a smile on her face as she was spotted by the harried employee and offered a polite nod as she approached. This should be fun.

“Miss Evans, it’s good to see you. How has life been since your graduation?”

[lilyeliora-archive]

-

Lily was not having the best day. Usually, she loved her work at the apothecary; she loved interacting with customers and helping them find exactly what they need, and she loved flexing her potioneering skills building up a stock of the potions with a longer shelf life. So far, she’d had more busy days than slow days, and even the slow days had been made tolerable by various tasks she’d been assigned by Morwenna. Today, however, was different, because today was a slow day with no potions to brew or inventory to catalog. Today, Lily was bored. She was fairly desperate for a distraction but, as it turned out, not the one that walked through the door. 

Rita Skeeter was someone Lily knew of more than she knew her. Everyone at Hogwarts had been familiar with The Scoop, as well as who was most certainly “not” responsible for it. It was something Lily herself was quite torn over. On the one hand, she wanted to support all girls in their endeavours, whatever their passions may be. It was, after all, the feminist thing to do. But on the other hand, gossip was just so tawdry and, well, stereotypical. A large part of Lily felt like Rita was a discredit to her entire gender for perpetuating the belief that all women were obsessed with gossip. 

It hurt Lily to admit, mostly in the region that housed her pride, but she did not like Rita. She couldn’t help feeling that all of Rita’s drive and intelligence, which she obviously had quite a lot of, was wasted on such a profession, if you wanted to call it that, as a gossip column. What Lily wouldn’t admit, even to herself, was that Rita Skeeter quite reminded her of one Petunia Evans, with her bottle-blonde hair and her too sharp gaze. The resemblance made Lily’s personal dislike of the woman even harder, because Lily still loved her sister, even if they didn’t tolerate each other anymore.

Still, Lily pasted on the best customer service smile she could manage as she made her way over to Rita, though her eyebrows crept up at the woman’s greeting. It was surprisingly innocuous, and if there was one thing Lily knew about Rita Skeeter, it was that scandal was her favorite pastime. 

“Miss Skeeter,” Lily greeted her with a small nod, still wary. She answered the question with a healthy amount of circumspection, it wouldn’t do at all for Rita to know about what Lily had begun to think of as her extracurricular activity. “Life’s been good. I’ve been working.” She waved a hand around the shop as evidence. “Is there anything I can help you find?” She tried to steer the conversation toward the shop and away from her personal life.

[sirius-whoisleft]

some tricks up my sleeve || sirius & lily ||

DATE: week two, day eleven LOCATION: the barns SUBJECT: post-dark magic demonstration 

The problem wasn’t that people were avoiding Sirius, because they weren’t. The problem was the very pointed, tip-toeing-across-eggshell ways in which they were not ignoring him. Nobody deliberately avoided his eye; everyone caught it and flashed him the same, ordinary smile. As though making a point of it – or earning points from it, more likely. People asked him questions, but in a way that seemed like they had no earthly idea what else to talk about. 

Sirius didn’t know what sort of reception he’d expected after last night’s dark magic demonstration—after all, he hadn’t expected one to happen in the first place—but the reality of it had him feeling unsettled. 

It was an odd sensation, for someone so used to holding court and being the point-of-orbit in social situations. To realize, quite suddenly, that voices died down whenever you walked into a room. To understand that people were whispering behind your back. 

Hypocrites, Sirius thought to himself. But the voice didn’t quite sound like his, and the label didn’t quite fit. 

Today was a day off and, despite it only being a few days after their previous—and first—day off on Sunday, everyone seemed exhausted to their bones. Sirius was no exception to that rule. He’d been in the later half of recruits to rise that morning, after sleeping clean through breakfast and drifting out of his squeaking metal bunk with only the foggiest idea of what time it was. Without even a label-of-blame for his agitation, Sirius had taken to walking along the length of the paddock fence—having muttered something rushed about fresh air to a concerned James—and came back only when he heard the summons of the lunch bell. 

Everyone had been packed together in close quarters for almost two weeks. That closeness was reflected in an unusual spreading out: most everyone taking their lunch rations and seeming to find their own little corner of the property, exhausted and hungry and projecting an intangible personal bubble. A few folks had gathered together at a picnic table and were chatting in animated tones. Dedalus Diggle even waved Sirius over to come sit but Sirius—wholly convinced that it was nervous politeness instead of his paranoia projected upon a harmless invitation—smiled and waved a hand to decline. 

Isolation may have been a refuge for his fellow recruits, but to Sirius it seemed intolerable. 

Sirius didn’t know if he sought Lily Evans out because he thought she would make him feel better or because he thought pushing someone’s buttons was the only way to cut through his strange funk – but by the time he arrived at the redhead’s solitary picnic spot on the grass, he didn’t have it in him to be annoying. 

Yet, anyway, he assured himself. A consolidation prize, more than a promise. 

“Hello,” he said simply, lowering himself to the grass and tossing an apple back and forth between his hands, the fruit a deep red like Lily’s hair and landing in his palm with a pleasant thump each time. “Say something rude to me; everyone is being toothlessly nice and I need some of that patented Evans charm to restore the reality I’m comfortable with.” 

@lily-evans-wil​

[lilyeliora-archive]

-

Contrary to popular opinion, Lily Evans did not blindly follow authority just because she didn’t reject it on principle. There was always a review period, a time when Lily would withhold judgement as she observed any new authority figure, be it professor or head girl or even boss, to test their mettle. Until yesterday, Alastor Moody had been in that waiting period. He was stern, that much was obvious, but it was not enough for her to dismiss him outright. Now that had all changed. Now, Lily was sure he was a man she could never respect.

Lily had been fuming for well over twelve hours now, and there was as of yet no sign of her fury abating. So far, no one had been able to talk her down. Some of her friends had tried, while others had known her moods well enough to leave her alone in such a state. She’d been walking around like a small but very dangerous thundercloud all day, likely to snap at anyone who said the wrong thing. 

She’d managed to avoid confronting Moody outright by replaying the previous night’s events in her mind. The request and the shocked silence that followed and became somehow more shocked and more silent when Sirius actually stood up. The numb disbelief that kept her from standing up, from calling Moody out on his bullshit. What kind of man, what kind of coward, would call on a teenager before casting dark spells himself? 

As was usually the case, at the core of Lily’s rage was grief, because what kind of teenager knew such spells? Lilly had taken almost all the same classes Sirius had and she knew he didn’t learn Crucio at Hogwarts, which left only one place where he had. So as furious as Lily was with Alastor Moody, it paled in comparison to her wrath for Orion Black. She’d known that Sirius’ father wasn’t a good man, that much was obvious from the little she knew about Sirius’ home life, but she simply couldn’t fathom a man who would teach his child such things. 

Not for a moment, had Lily blamed Sirius. She didn’t think he was bad or evil or damaged for knowing dark spells or for being able to cast them, and it was for this reason that she’d been avoiding him since the demonstration. She’d even gone so far as to convince James to switch bunks with her for the night. She knew she needed to get her anger under control before she talked to him, otherwise Sirius, being Sirius, would assume it was directed at him and then he would blame himself. Lily did not want that, so she was avoiding him as the best of two bad options.

Of course, Sirius didn’t know any of that. So, of course, Sirius decided, after quite conveniently skipping breakfast, to seek out where Lily was very intentionally alone at lunch. And, of course, he would try to make light of the situation. “I don’t have anything rude to say to you.” It came out sharper than Lily had intended, the “you” more pointed. She huffed, then tried again. “And I don’t like the implication that I’m not charming when we both know full well that I am.”

[lilyeliora-archive]

ava-avery​:

Ava had always been a woman of priorities. At the high society parties, others would gravitate towards those of high influence, scrambling for any political power, while she was more interested in the well-travelled guests, looking to swap stories. Some chose to wake with the sun, she chose to sleep with the moon. And at the moment, the only content of her fridge was a stick of butter and a single egg. Rather than a nice market, or even the muggle store, she headed to the apothecary instead. Ava was more interested in the more useful things.

She stepped in, letting the little bell signal her entrance. Luckily it seemed mostly deserted –including a shop-keep- which was good. The last thing Ava needed was to get stuck behind someone who needed help finding half the store. She stepped over to the counter at the same time Lily emerged, a smile ready on her face as she recognized the other woman.

“Lily Evans, hello! How are you?” she greeted. Some might be mortified at recognizing anyone at the apothecary, but Ava was always happy to see a familiar face. And it wasn’t as if she was here to buy anything embarrassing. “It seems as though my storage of potions meant as hangover cures has mysteriously run dry, so I need to stock up. Or just ingredients if you don’t have any potions; I should be able to sludge together something myself.”

-

-

Lily saw all sorts of people at the apothecary. Sometimes she saw rich, haughty people who only saw her as a means to an end. She saw frustrated people who used her as an outlet for their bad day. She saw harried people who didn’t seem to have the time to be polite or friendly. It could be demoralizing, even to someone as positive as Lily, to have to deal with unpleasant customers, so whenever she saw a friendly face it was always a bright spot in her day. It was an even brighter spot when it was a familiar friendly face.

Lily was quick to count people as friends, but Ava Avery had, in Lily opinion, well and truly earned the title. They’d bonded while at Hogwarts by virtue both of being Gryffindors and being quidditch fanatics. Ava was the person she sat with at games and talked to about plays and scores and rankings. They hadn’t been the closest of girls, there were still plenty of things that they didn’t share, like their family backgrounds for one, but Lily was happy to see Ava nonetheless.

“Ava! I don’t think I’ve seen you since you graduated, how have you been?” Lily gave the older girl a one armed hug, the more professional version of her usual greeting, then remembered that Ava had asked after her. “I’m good. Still getting used to being graduated, definitely don’t feel like an adult yet.” As she spoke, Lily ushered Ava toward the front of the shop. Lily had convinced Morwenna to move some of the most popular items, including hangover cures, to near the door so people who knew what they were looking for could zip in and zip out. 

“We’ve got our ready made hangover cures right here, but if you want something stronger, I can get it made for you by the end of business tomorrow. We also do delivery for custom orders.”

[lilyeliora-archive]

the-harperbaddock​:

-

Harper swore she could feel her blood pressure rise at Lily’s mention of a ten year commitment. It  wasn’t the prospect of caring for a living creature for ten years that gave her pause; Harper was no stranger to responsibility. It was the concept of 10 years down the road that she struggled with. Who would she be? Where would she be? Though it would be nice to have a companion to face the uncertainty with. Besides, Lily had a cat, as did Safiye, and Geraldine had her dogs.

She scanned the cages of cats, trying to determine where to start. Some of them, she noticed, had small descriptions of the creature within.

Pale green eyes caught hers first and drew her over to a brownish gray tabby with white paws, as if he stepped in paint. “Calm and independent” his description read. He gave Harper a sniff and she swore he rolled his eyes before turning his head away from her.

In the cage diagonally below sat a lankier, mostly black, tuxedo cat with amber eyes. She’d been batting at a toy in her cage and when Harper’s attention shifted to her, the cat’s energy increased, though with a slightly territorial edge. Trying to calm the cat she took a step back. It wasn’t until then when Harper noticed the note describing her as “highly energetic though a little possessive”

Somewhat randomly, Harper picked a different section of cages to focus on. Inside one, a medium sized cat with multicolored patches of fur— she thought Lily had called it a tortie— slept soundly, and she couldn’t bring herself to disturb it. The chunky, cinnamon toned tabby in the neighboring cage stretched and let out a gravelly meow before retreating further back.

A few rows down, a small, solid grey cat with emerald eyes let out a meow crossed with a chirp that made Harper crouch to its level. Offering her hand, the creature bumped it with its forehead and rubbed against it. Heart melting, she looked for a label with any descriptions or requirements, and smiled when she saw none. But, as if to dash her hopes, a shopkeeper walked by moments later. “A lovely little girl she is. Just arrived yesterday evening so I haven’t had a chance to add a label yet, but we’d like to keep her and her brother together” she commented, gesturing towards the cage next to it, where a similar looking cat was curled up lazily. Harper knew she couldn’t handle two— she was still concerned about messing up one.

“I’ll be back in a minute” Harper said quickly, trying not to show the dejection she felt. She took a partial lap around the store, stopping among the aisles of cat essentials and accessories.

-

Lily watched Harper introduce herself to the various cats, and it reminded Lily of when she’d first gotten Chess. At barely 11, Lily had taken the whole affair very seriously. She’d visited the local shelter several times looking for, as she put it, her cat. It had been difficult, there had been several animals who tempted her, tiny sweet kittens and stately older cats, but none of them had felt just right. She still remembered the day she’d met Chess. He’d been a newborn kitten, mewling with his eyes still closed. Abandoned by his mother, the shelter’s owner had said, he’d need someone special to take care of him, and Lily had just known. Of course, now she knew that she’d gotten lucky, that Chess had grown up into the perfect cat for her, but she still believed in that knowing.

While Harper was talking to the shopkeeper, Lily looked over the cats Harper had already checked out. The “highly energetic though a little possessive” tag made her chuckle, because it reminded her of Chess. The tabby with white paws was a handsome fellow, but Lily wasn’t surprised Harper had passed on “calm and independent.” She couldn’t keep herself from attempting to get his attention, holding out her hand and clicking her tongue. She prided herself on being something of a cat whisperer, and after a few moments he rewarded her with a cursory sniff of her hand. She scratched his chin and then left him be. Her hopes rose as Harper seemed to connect with a small grey cat, only to be dashed by the shopkeeper’s words.

Lily would never consider herself someone who was good at reading people, but she was. More accurately, she had a sort of instinctive understanding of people’s emotional needs, so when Harper walked away, Lily didn’t follow. She gave the woman a few moments to collect herself and waited patiently for her to return. While she was waiting, Lily checked the labels of the other cats to see if there was another one similar to the small grey cat in personality. When Harper came back, Lily smiled encouragingly. “So we know now that you want a friendly and affectionate cat, that’s a step in the right direction. I looked at a few of the labels, I think you should introduce yourself to her next.” Lily pointed to a cat with bright eyes whose label read, “sweet and clever.”

[lilyeliora-archive]

remus-whoisleft​:

-

“Yeah, I - sort of got the feeling we were all there for a sense of, er, well - comfort probably isn’t the word. Strength in numbers? Not trying to scare us off?” Remus mused, worrying at his bottom lip between relief-filled drags of his cigarette. “I reckon they’ve got so many spells and wards up on that place that anyone trying to give away the location’ll be hexed to next Thursday. The rest - I dunno. There aren’t that many of us, are there? It felt comforting to see some older folks there. Can you imagine if it was just, y’know, us and Caradoc Dearborn standing in a circle in there? Christ.”

As Lily shivered closer to him Remus made sure to wrap his arm properly around her shoulders, offering what - very little, but something - warmth he could. Anyone who saw them walking would be convinced they were closer than friends, but that thought hadn’t bothered either of them since, most likely, at least third year. The talk of torture, the shift to morbidity - the humor was there, but it still left that painful sinking feeling in his chest. Lily being tortured for information was bad enough, thinking about any of them in that situation. Thinking about Sirius in that situation… it was enough to quell the excitement of newly-acquired vigilantism for a few moments.

“It’s going to be that, don’t worry. Cool spells they’d never teach us at school, saving the world training.” He said, giving her a side-armed squeeze to try and will some of the more negative thoughts away. It wasn’t that easy, obviously, but he was drawing on that excitement to help the cause. “You’re too bloody good to be captured and tortured, anyway. You’re going to be a nightmare to fight against, we’ve always known that.”

“Merlin,” Remus laughed, glad that the topic change had worked and the mood felt instantly lighter - back on the precipice of enthusiasm rather than dread. “I, honestly, feel like it suits him. He was always this golden boy at school, wasn’t he? Seeing him break the rules like this is… challenging, maybe, but I reckon if any new recruits were going to get scoped by Moody it makes sense it was him.” He glanced over at her, grateful for the chance to delve into some gossip instead of less enticing conversation. “How do you two get along these days, anyway? Did you catch James shooting any jealous looks at him? Because that would be hilarious.”

-

“There was a sense of community to it, that was nice.” Lily liked being a part of something, especially something that felt bigger than the sum of its parts. It was one of the reasons she’d been so excited to be a prefect while she was at school. She felt like being in the Order would do real good in a world that was hurting, at least that’s what she hoped. Lily took a drag of her own cigarette as she considered. “I don’t know, I think we could be intimidating. Caradoc at least looks like a brick wall.” She giggled. It was partly a joke, but also partly serious.

When Remus wrapped his arm around her, Lily cuddled into his side, bony as it was, it didn’t bother her. Nor did it bother her knowing what it must look like. She was no stranger to the rumors her friendship with Remus, or Sirius, or any of her other friends, sparked. She was just a cuddly friend. What did bother her was the subject, the thought of torture. She wasn’t afraid of being tortured as much as she was afraid of her friends being tortured, of seeing James go through that, of not being able to stop it. If push came to shove, she’s the type of girl who would trade her life for another’s.

Lily wrapped an arm around Remus’ waist and returned his squeeze. “We’re gonna be bloody heroes.” She echoed his earlier words in an almost reverent tone because that was all she’d ever wanted, to change the world, to make it a better place. She’d always walked the line between seeing the world as it could be and seeing the world as it was, seeing both at the same time. If she could she’d fight every battle, win every war, but she knew that was unrealistic, so, for now, she was just focusing on this one. 

She was pulled out of her reverie and perked up under Remus’ praise. “I can be a little terror, when the need arises.” It was, perhaps, an odd thing to consider a compliment, but it suited Lily just fine. She never wanted to be a doormat, never wanted to be someone always more concerned with other people’s opinions than her own. She never wanted to turn into Petunia. 

Lily snorted loudly in response to Remus’ words. “Are we talking about the same Edgar Bones?” She rolled her eyes, refusing to admit that Remus made some good points. “We get along fine. We had a perfectly civil conversation after the meeting. He’s always perfectly civil.” Her tone made it clear this was not a good thing. “I’m sure I didn’t notice anything of the sort.” Her voice was all too honeyed innocence. She had noticed, and she’d let it slide. Even though she was a strong, independent feminist, part of her had liked the way that James held her a little tighter when Edgar was looking their way. It didn’t feel smothering, it felt safe, it felt like he was hers just as much as it felt like she was his.

[coldely-deactivated20210320]

[lilyeliora-archive]

ended up here: closed for emma vanity

Lily was looking for Sirius. Really, Lily was looking for James, but where one could be found the other was often nearby. There was no urgency in her search, she was just bored, and more than a little lonely, puttering around her apartment on her day off. So she made her way to Remus and Sirius’ apartment, figuring that if she didn’t find the boys there at once, she could always wait and they would return there eventually.

She was a little disappointed when no one answered her knock at the door, but she wasn’t deterred. Lily had a key to most of her friends’ apartments, and Remus and Sirius’ had been one of the first she’d collected. So she let herself in and, after picking out one of Remus’ books to skim, settled onto the couch to wait. It was somehow less lonely being alone in Remus and Sirius’ apartment than in her own. There was a promise of company in the air, even though no one else was around. 

The promise was fulfilled sooner than Lily expected when she heard a knock at the door. For a moment she debated whether she should answer someone else’s door, but eventually she decided that she should at least tell whoever it was that neither Sirius nor Remus were in.The person at the door knocked a second time just as Lily was coming to a decision, solidifying her choice. “Just a mo’,” she called as she marked her place in her book. She opened the door to see none other than Emma Vanity, hand raised to knock a third time. 

“Hello Emma, Remus is out.” Lily didn’t bother to mention that Sirius wasn’t in either, she knew Remus was the only person Emma would be here to see.

@emma-whoisleft​

[shawnsmelodies]

I love and respect her

[lilyeliora-archive]

Open Starter

Lily enjoyed working in an apothecary. It had all the scents of the potions classroom, which had been one of her favorite places at Hogwarts. She liked working quietly brewing tonics or arranging solutions on the shelves, but her favorite part of it was helping customers. It didn’t matter if they were a regular who knew exactly what they needed or it was their first time in the shop, it was always a welcome interaction. 

She always learned something about someone based on what they purchased or ordered, possibly more than anyone realized. It was rarely useful information, but frequently interesting. She liked to bring stories home and tell them to Mary over the phone or James over dinner. This woman who seemed so put together bought wart elixirs regularly every month and tried to claim they were for her dog. That man came in hoping for a perfume that would make his girlfriend feel as beautiful as he thought she was.

This morning, she was in the back of the shop getting caught up on work that had gone undone while she’d been gone for two weeks. She’d been intentionally vague as to why she needed so much time off, and her boss had been polite enough not to pry, but she could tell the older woman was curious. When the bell over the door chimed, Lily called out, “Welcome to Morwenna’s Apothic, I’ll be with you in a moment!”

Lily washed toadstool off her hands before emerging into the front of the shop. “Thanks for waiting, how can I help you?”

[mariodaymiller]

[benjy-whoisleft]

fate has nothing to do with it ||

Benjy was sweating as hard as he’d been dueling. Maybe as hard as he’d been running, but if there was one small mercy there, it was early enough in the morning that the dew hadn’t burned off and they weren’t relying on fire as the primary source of light. Somehow, the day off had left him more worn out than he’d been before, and it was showing through the cracks.

He pushed it all aside with the feeling that came with seeing his family at Kings Cross every holiday. He breathed it deeply, and exhaled the incantation, “Expecto Patronum!”

Finally, finally, the white cloud amassed into something, well, corporeal. It took a second for him to place what, exactly, was truly plodding a circle around him, he started laughing. IT stopped at his feet which only made him laugh harder, fueled by joy and exhaustion and relief, as it looked at him expectantly. 

“Oh my god,” Benjy said, wiping at his eyes. “Of course, it’s a sheep. Fuck.” It was dissipating now, and he had no hope of pulling it together enough to stop that or move on to the next step, not yet. “That’s rad. Okay, yeah." 

[lilyeliora-archive]

-

It was day nine of fourteen at the Barns and Lily was definitely slap happy. Despite sleeping better than she has in a while, she was still waking up exhausted every day. The constant physical conditioning certainly did not help. Lily had thought she was in fairly good shape, not quidditch good shape mind, but still fairly good. She’d been wrong. Now she was reaching the point of extreme exhaustion where everything was funny. Her boys had been taking advantage of her giggly nature mercilessly, so when it came time for the patronus workshop, she’d moved close to Benjy in the hopes of being able to actually concentrate.

She’d spent perhaps more time than she needed to picking the perfect happy memory to focus on. At first she focused too much on the memoryness of it, trying to pick one single instance that was the happiest moment of her life. When the older Order member who was leading the workshop noticed she was struggling, they recommended that she focus on a feeling, not a specific memory, and that helped. She thought about her amortentia, and focused on the chalk dust smell of her father coming home from work. It had always been Lily's favorite part of the day as a child, when Howell Evans opened the door, calling for his girls, and Lilly would take a running leap into his arms. 

That did the trick, and Lily was finally able to produce more than a cloud of silvery light. When she finally recognized her patronus, she had to sit down, she was laughing so hard. The elegant doe nuzzled her hair, as if to ask if Lily needed anything from her, which sent Lily into another wave of giggles. She looked around for someone to share the joke with, and saw that Benjy was in similar hysterics next to her. 

“Benj,” she wheezed, “Benj, it’s a doe!” She giggled again then, because it wasn’t in her nature to make everything about herself, she said, “and look at your sheep!”

[radicalgraff]

“The only dangerous minority is the rich”