The Lovely Lily

Lily Evans Lils, Lilypad but never Snaps or Red, unless you fancy being hexed Proud Gryffindor and Head Girl

[lilyevans1977-blog]

Because I'm stupidly optimistic (and also because we put so much work into those pages), I'm not actually going to delete them. That's not necessarily a guarantee that we'll re-open, but....I guess if I get into the swing of things and feel like I'll be able to manage it....we'll see. You guys are all so amazing, that's why it kills me to do this. Hopefully first year teaching won't completely destroy me, and you'll all still be interested if/when Hogwarts1977 rises again.

Personal.

[particularpyrotechnicsproclivity]

[my-ponchoboys]

[dorydoesntfrolickinmeadowes-blog]

Appealing to Reason || Dorcas & Lily

Dorcas sighed as she flopped down onto her four poster bed, not even bothering to conceal herself. This Amycus business was tricky. Of course Dorcas could handle him herself, no doubt about that, but how far could she go with him before attracting some attention from those in high places. Someone was bound to notice the flashing lights from hexes or the screaming and carrying about; assuming she full out attacked the Slytherin, like she oh-so-desperately wanted to. It wasn’t in her nature to just sit around and fiddle her thumbs like a Hufflepuff (which wasn’t to say she didn’t like the badger house, but rather they weren’t known for being proactive), but what else could she do? Amycus had to go down one way or another.

As she slid off her shoes, the thought occurred to her: Lily. Surely as Head Girl Lily would be able to do something about it. She might ask James, since he was her Quidditch Captain, but Dorcas wasn’t familiar enough with him to be asking him for help. Even so, she and Lily were friendly enough to call each other “friends”, but not the greatest of friends. Maybe Lily could simply give him detention in for harassment or something? Oh, that would be positively grand; anything would be, really. Regardless, there was no way in hell that Dorcas would go to McGonagall or Dumbledore. The last thing she needed was to for Amycus to know she was so spooked that she went to a head honcho. No; no way was that happening. 

Dorcas slid off her bed, her mind made up: she’d talk to Lily. She clambered down the stairs, searching for Lily’s trademark red hair, spotting it poking slightly above a couch in front of the fireplace. Dorcas made a beeline for the couch and plopped down next to the redhead, a bright smile on her face.

“Lily! How nice to run into you here! What are you up to? Doyouthinkyoucoulddomeafavor?” Dorcas questioned. She had said the last bit entirely too fast and wasn’t even sure Lily would know what she was saying, but oh well. Dorcas felt awful for appealing to Lily’s authority, instead of appealing to the girl’s friendship.

[lilyevans1977-blog]

Lily loved the privacy and freedom that came with being Head Girl: her own dorm, her own common room (well...shared with James), close enough to her friends in the Tower that she could see them whenever she wanted, but far enough away that she could seclude herself and concentrate on work when she wanted to. Of course, she didn’t always want to. The separation was nice, but could also get lonely, and more often than not, especially with the school population being in the midst of Quidditch tryouts (which she didn’t really much for), James wasn’t even around long enough for them to a have a decent conversation. They still didn’t get along very well, and bickered at least once a day, but just knowing there was someone else around made their Headquarters a little less lonely. Today, he was once again tunneled away somewhere, working out strategy and game plays, and Lily had decided that she didn’t much feel like staying cooped up alone.

She felt like a bit of an intruder as she walked into the Gryffindor common room, even though no one gave her a second glance. The weather was surprisingly mild for mid-September, so it was fairly deserted, the majority of the students outside and enjoying the weather while they could without needing ten layers and a hat. Which meant that her favourite couch, just off to the left of the fireplace, with a large winged back and  borderline saggy cushions, was free. Lily curled up in it gratefully, leaning her head against it and took a moment to enjoy the ambience before heaving up her History of Magic book. Opening it up in her lap, she started to read, her mind drifting occasionally, the weight of the tome comforting against her legs and the fire just the right temperature, as always, casting a warm glow over her arms. The chattering in the background blended into a pleasant hum and she inadvertently sighed. For her, the real magic of Hogwarts was in moments like these.

And then, in a flurry of movement and sound, the couch cushion sank in deeper and Lily whipped her head around, torn out of her musings by the arrival of Dorcas Meadowes. She was a bit taken aback, as they had never been the closest of friends, despite being in the same house for so long. Dorcas was a tomboy and very eccentric and the two had simply never run in the same circles, though they were cordial and warm enough on the occasions they spoke. It seemed unlikely, however, that this was a gesture towards a closer relationship, so as Lily turned to face the blonde, shifting slightly on the couch and tucking a leg under her, she wondered what the motivation could be. Although it was possible Dorcas had spontaneously decided to extend a hand of camaraderie...it didn’t seem likely. Definitely not with the kind of frantic energy she was exuding right now, and the almost desperate curve to her smile. Ah...important business, then. Head business. Apparently exiting her office was no guarantee that she could escape her duties.

“Hi,” she smiled back, closing the book, sticking her finger in between the pages to mark her place. “I decided to come run among the plebeians for an hour or two,” she joked, becoming increasingly curious about why Dorcas had decided to come by. “I can certainly try to do you a favour, if you need my help.” The offer was genuine, despite their lack of closeness, because Lily very rarely turned anyone down if they wanted assistance, no matter how well they did or didn’t know each other. What had once been a personal credo was also a professional obligation, and she embraced the role as best she could, trying to disregard the occasional aggravation and frustration that stemmed from putting her life on hold in order to do a service. And Dorcas was clearly so wound up, her words all jumbled and her expression already pleading, that Lily couldn’t begrudge her the interruption even if she wanted to.

[truttle-deactivated20130816]

[barrythecastle]

20/50 . Karen Gillan (x)

[hermionns]

[lilyevans1977-blog]

deartonks:

14/50 Photos of Karen Gillan 

[my-ponchoboys]

[morning-in-may-blog-blog]

[narcissa1977]

Narcissa & Lily || Let's Be Candid

[narcissa1977]

All of Narcissa’s cosmetics were neatly packed and she was nearly out of the bathroom, but paused in mid-step as Lily spoke of library outings. Her face remained blank as Lily offered a small smile which piqued her interest. Usually Muggleborns never bothered to carry on a conversation with her and especially in public- they had every reason not to if they were outside of a classroom. Her distaste of average people didn’t go unnoticed. While Narcissa never paid much attention to her ‘mean’ girl reputation, it did permit ample breathing room.  Merlin forbid her form an acquaintance with a Muggle. That type of behavior wasn’t allowed in her family and she accepted it as fact with grace. It was healthier for everyone involved if Muggles just stayed the hell away from her.

Going against her better judgement, her current position was an enticing temptation. She’d continue the pursuit of being well-behaved tomorrow, she rationalized in her head. But for right now, she would take the rare opportunity of poking at the Muggle in complete privacy. Classes were still in session for a little while longer, meaning there would be no interruptions. She would have locked the bathroom’s door, but chose not to shock Lily by drawing her wand. She would leave no room for misunderstanding. Narcissa casually leaned against the cold wall with one foot perked up against it and closely studied the redhead as if she were a specimen. How did one begin such a conversation? Her usual wit drew a stalemate. 

Narcissa looked down and then away, desperately trying to not turn crimson. Due to her sheltered lifestyle, she rarely discussed intimacy with anyone- even her sisters. Her tongue felt heavy in her mouth making it impossible for her to form any words. If only she had a lollipop to distract her. Narcissa pushed off the wall, causing her blonde locks to bounce up and she looked around suspiciously out of habit before addressing the redhead. “Lily.” She pronounced slowly as if she were speaking a different language. Again, getting tongue-tied and uneasy, she crossed her arms in subtle defense. “I was wondering…”

Narcissa’s eyes sparkled with curiosity while taking a few steps closer to Lily. “Is it true that you caught my cousin, Sirius - Sirius Black - in a compromising position on the train?” Narcissa felt as if she could fall off the planet from sheer mortification. The redhead must have been stunned by her lack of tact. Oh Merlin, what’s done is done… Narcissa thought and tapped her foot on the tile floor. 

[lilyevans1977-blog]

Lily could tell when she was being inspected. There was always a sort of tingly feeling at the base of her spine when someone had their eyes on her, which some of her friends referred to as her sixth sense. It came in handy more often than not, and also made it difficult for people to sneak up on her and give her a fright. Which is why even after she turned her back to Narcissa to put her hands under the faucet again, she knew without a doubt that the blonde was looking at her. Intensely. The scrutiny didn’t make her comfortable, but she assumed that Narcissa was simply morbidly curious, probably never having been this close to a Muggleborn before. She was sorely tempted to turn around and challenge her.

But she didn’t. Maybe it was because of the reputation the Blacks had when it came to dealing with Muggleborns...Lily wouldn’t be the first to have suddenly succumb to illness or injury after a one-on-one encounter. Her mind was battling between the need to assert herself and the recognition of the very real danger and threat of being alone somewhere with a blood purist. She tried to remember if she had told anyone where she was going. Inside her chest, her heart was pounding frantically and she took deep shaking breaths to calm herself and focus. Surely if Narcissa had intended to harm her, it would have happened by now. They’d been in the bathroom for nearly three minutes and nothing had come to pass. With a huge lump in her throat, she chanced a glance into the mirror and saw Narcissa looking at her openly, resting against the wall. And she waited. The heaviness and pounding of her heart was so loud in her ears she could practically hearing it bouncing off the tile walls.

She was quite certain no one had ever said her name so strangely before. It was like a foreign creature on Narcissa’s tongue, and those two syllables seemed completely out of place in the air between them. Of course, they’d been classmates for years, but never on a first name basis. They acknowledged each other without referring to one another directly, avoiding the implied intimacy of direct communication. Turning slowly, Lily pushed aside the rising paranoia and braced her hands against the counter, leaning against it slightly to still leave considerable space between them. Wondering? What could she be wondering?

Upon being reminded of the incident on the train, Lily flushed darkly in an instant. Word had apparently gotten out despite her and James’ best efforts...as far as she could remember, Narcissa hadn’t been among the people they’d sent away from the corridor. Luckily, the blonde seemed just as discomfited and mortified by the question, which was a strange sort of relief to Lily, who always hated how easily all her emotions were displayed on her face. “Erm,” she said lamely, stalling for time even though her reaction was certainly all the confirmation Narcissa needed. “I....well, yes. It wasn’t....I don’t want to give details, per se, Head business and all....” Meeting Narcissa’s gave, she gave what she hoped would be an indeterminable shrug. “It seems like everyone knows anyways. Sirius certainly isn’t make a secret of it.” 

[steveharringtrn]

[gretty-catchlove-blog]

Potions in the Library|| Lily & Greta

[gretty-catchlove-blog]

Greta chuckled quietly, making sure to attract attention from the librarian. “I’ve never been a Head Girl, so I can’t say I do.” She glanced at her book, thinking about how she just wanted the Potions work to do itself. “Its a dull book. I’m trying so hard to stay awake whilst reading it.” She grinned at the ‘Troll’ comment. “I doubt even a Troll would understand this.” Greta wished they had more than a day away from the dreadful class. She still wondered how she had even managed to scrape up a high enough grade on her Potions OWL to take the course at NEWT. Greta questioned why Slughorn was giving them such a terrible potion on the first day, it was as if he was aiming to give them a hard time. What she probably didn’t realize was that if they started out with the hard things first, then as they progressed through the year everything else will be simple.

Looking over the mess she had made of her table, she sighed. She wasn’t sure how it had happened. She had to admire her skill to accomplish such a chaos. She eyed the direction of where Lily had come from. It was equally as messy but Greta was sure that it was most likely much more organized. “More than a load of junk, I’d say. It’s a natural disaster.” She bit her lip, unsure of how they’d manage to move either of their books and parchment. She opened her mouth to volunteer herself to be the one to move, but instead Lily spoke about the benefits being Head Girl should have offered, and probably did. She gave a bit of laughter at Lily’s so called confession. “It’s our seventh year and your Head Girl. I should think you of all people have a bit more leeway then the younger years.”

Lily sat beside her. As the other girl checked around, Greta moved her things to make a bit of space for the red head. Lily’s objects could have been considered deadly projectiles, they were lucky no students were walking about. She shifted her book to let Lily see what exactly she was reading up on. “Mine was more blue-green than anything else. Lovely color but not what I needed.” Greta huffed. She really was wretched at Potions. Perhaps, she should become an author and write a book on how to fail Potions. She reread the page again, trying to find where she had gone wrong. Frowning she asked, “I couldn’t find the effects of the potion in the textbook. I might have overlooked it. Do you know what they are?”

[lilyevans1977-blog]

Lily tried not to be discouraged as she stared at the page in front of her. Potions was not being very kind to her this year and for whatever reason, Slughorn already seemed to have high expectations of her. His favourtism towards purebloods was widely known, so she was confused when he went out of his way to praise her and single her out during class. It made her intensely uncomfortable, but she hoped it was a momentary thing that would soon pass. Surely once he learned of her ancestry, he wouldn’t be nearly as attentive.Then maybe the “Lovely Lily” business would stop as well - it was bad enough to have that be the unofficial nickname from a teacher, but now other people were beginning to adopt it as well. Especially James. The thought of it made her shudder.

She refocused back on the textbook, dragging her mind to the current predicament: riddling out this borderline impossible potion. It was bad enough that she had failed to concoct it properly in class, but to not even be able to understand the theory behind it? For some reason, that made it even worse. Looking over at Greta, she gave her a sympathetic smile and nudged her shoulder. “At least yours was nice to look at. Mine looked like someone’s upchuck after too much Butterbeer.” She pulled a face, remembering the putrid smell of it as well and gave an involuntary shudder. “Not pleasant.” Her attention went back to the page, until she had read the same section at least four or five times, and no closer to deciphering its meaning. Aggravated, she tried to refrain from physically pulling at her hair and took a calming breath.

“I think Slughorn said it was an analgesic? Or maybe a sedative...” Brief clips of the complicated explanation prior to the class floated through her brain, but she couldn’t seem to find the precise moment when he described the usage of the potion. Pointless. And now she was struggling in absolutely all aspects of the class...including listening. “It could be a poison...I know that Chelidonium are like poppies...” After a few moments, she shoved the book slightly and slumped down into her chair, resting her head in her heads. “This is impossible,” she muttered, half to herself, feeling confused and embarrassed and frustrated all at once. “Bloody impossible. At this rate, I’m going to need a tutor.” 

When she said those words, without warning, a truly unexpected face popped up in her mind’s eye. Severus. Once her best friend, and a master at all things Potions related. The one who used to come with her to library...to a table not far from the one she was currently sharing with Greta...and work with her until she was done her essay or assignment, even though he would’ve finished it hours earlier on his own. She swallowed hard at the memory, fighting down the rising guilt and pain in her chest, turning her chair deliberately so that familiar perch wouldn’t be visible. “Come on,” she said to Greta with a forced levity and a smile she hoped would be convincing. “We can figure this out, I’m sure of it.”

[narcissa1977]

Narcissa & Lily || Let's Be Candid

[narcissa1977]

Color Narcissa amused, no pun intended, to learn that Lily Evans struggled in Potions today. It wasn’t a secret that she was the professor’s pet given her high marks on everything related to the class. Muggleborn or not, Narcissa had noticed her in class because of it and couldn’t avoid hearing the professor coo over her during his little club meetings. While it felt like the professor was nice to Narcissa out of respect to her parents, he seemed genuinely fond of Lily. Not that she’d ever admit it to anyone- she’d rather die- she was a little envious of the redhead because of it.  How nice it must feel to be recognized for something other than being an offspring from a legacy family. In contrary, Lily would never know the duties required of Narcissa. The two couldn’t be more than different than day and night, they were from different worlds.

“I’m fine.” Narcissa replied curtly. “Use hot water and you will be too.” She added quietly as if she revealed a dangerous secret. But she wasn’t being malicious. If Lily used cold water, she could do a lot of damage to her skin. Narcissa wasn’t sure what to say next, somehow the words ‘trust me’ got caught in her throat.

Narcissa simply waited and stopped applying her mascara. She was curious if Lily was going to follow her advice or not. She didn’t know where her sudden conscious had sprung up from, but she rationalized that she could get in trouble if another student was seriously injured in her presence. Yes, that had to be why she’d given Lily the correct advice.

“My sister…” Narcissa began and felt awkward because she wasn’t talking about Bella. Most muggleborn students had the common sense to be afraid of her. “Andy.” She clarified in a louder voice.

“Andy warned me about this class. I thought she was exaggerating, but she said this level Potions didn’t compare to the previous years. She actually admitted to saying the jump in curriculum is a bit unrealistic.” Narcissa didn’t know why she was saying all of these things. She really should just shut up. “I’m sure you’ll do fine though.” She added, the bitterness in her voice was obvious. She turned back to her sink and began to pack up her things. She had stayed there long enough watching over Lily. So far, so good, she wasn’t screaming and now it was time to return to the real world where they didn’t speak to each other.

[lilyevans1977-blog]

Lily wasn’t entirely surprised at Narcissa’s less than friendly attitude towards her. Although they didn’t know each other very well, the Black family’s stance on Muggleborns wasn’t exactly a secret. Most of the time, the Black sisters never even acknowledged her, despite the fact that they took a number of classes together, and though it used to bother her when she was younger, Lily had learned to accept the disdain of quite a few number of blood purists at school. She knew that her academic achievements, which often drew attention to her both in and out of class, didn’t help her blend in or avoid attention, but she had promised herself never to compromise or lessen her abilities to make others more comfortable. 

Which was why she was surprised that when she followed Narcissa’s advice and turned the tap to make the water flow warmer, it did actually help the alleviate the pain. The look of surprise on her face was obvious, grateful that she caught what was most likely inadvertent words of wisdom. When she glanced over at her, she was even more shocked to see Narcissa staring quite openly back, her mascara wand poised in the air, simply watching her. Lily turned off the faucet quickly and rested her hip against the counter, not willing to risk the friction of the towels to dry off her dripping digits. Her instinct to conduct a regular conversation with this girl she hardly knew was proving difficult to follow through with. Despite the helpful advice she provided her, Narcissa’s caustic tone was impossible to ignore and Lily bit her lip, contemplating the best course of action. She could easily snipe back, but what would it accomplish?

“She’s right. Your sister.” Lily nodded and shrugged her shoulders. “There’s a huge gap of information between Sixth and Seventh form, it’s as though they expect you to just absorb the information by osmosis. Even I’m having a tough time with it.” Blinking, she continue quickly, not wanting to sound falsely self-deprecating. “Honestly, I was cooped up in the library with Greta for ages the other night. It’s amazing how frustrating it can be when a yellow potion just refuses to budge from green.” Here she chanced a small smile, not entirely certain what she hoped would happen.

[gryffindorgirlx]

Girls Just Want To Have Fun || Lily and Marlene {September 4, 1977)

[lilyevans1977-blog]

marly-moo:

A real, albeit small, smile spread across Marlene’s lips when Lily hugged her. The red-haired girl was always looking out for her and she couldn’t be more grateful. Lily was her closest girl friend, and Marlene would have gone crazy sometimes if hadn’t been for her. “I still can’t believe I missed the World Cup,” Marlene replied. “Things were… hectic,” she added hesitantly.

Marlene was unsure of how much to tell Lily about what happened over the summer. She desperately wanted to talk about it with someone, but didn’t want to burden her friend with it when she already had so many responsibilities to think about. As Lily slipped her arm through her own and tugged her toward the Great Hall, she decided to give her a watered-down version - enough to satisfy Lily’s obvious worry over her but not enough to cause her any extra stress. “Tea sounds wonderful, but only if there will be biscuits too,” she said in a noticeably happier voice. Just making the decision to let Lily in had lifted the burden somewhat.

In no time, they reached the Great Hall and quickly sat in their usual seats at the Gryffindor table. They had to shove aside a couple of fourth-years in order to claim their seats, but Marlene wasn’t fussed. Selecting a few biscuits while Lily fixed the tea, Marlene was soon munching away, and her mood lifted by a few degrees. “So Lily, what’s on your mind? What sort of crazy adventures did you get into this summer?” she asked her friend, turning towards her and tucking one foot under her other leg.

At least some of the tension in Marlene’s body started to melt away as they made their slow path towards the Great Hall and Lily was grateful to see her friend relax, even to the smallest degree. She felt so delicate and light in her arms when they hugged a few moments before, and Lily was overcome with the urge to shield Marlene from whatever was going on in her life and in her head. It was ironic, considering that Marlene was usually the strong one, the support, the rock in their friendship, but at this moment, with this unknown force of wrong looming over their usual closeness, Lily felt as though she should shove everything aside and just cradle up Marlene in a tight little ball. It wasn’t like her friend to be so quiet and timid, although her mood did seem to improve as she selected a few biscuits and divvied them up between their two plates. A small, fond smile crossed Lily’s lips as she steeped their tea, and she rested her elbow on the table, propping her head up in her hand and grinning over at her.

“Well,” she said, with an air of purposefully affected importance in her voice, “you missed out on quite the development. A scandal really. You’ll never guess.” She widened her eyes dramatically and wiggled her eyebrows and then reached over the table to pick up a spoonful of sugar, slowly mixing it in with her tea with intense concentration. Beside her, she could practically hear the gears churning in Marlene’s head and couldn’t help but giggle at her friend’s impatient squirming on her seat. Picking up her cup, she took a delicate sip of the steaming peppermint brew, glancing up at Marlene wickedly and feigning complete innocence. 

“The Cup was amazing though,” she continued, deliberately changing subjects and enjoying the look of complete disbelief Marlene threw at her. “I made all sorts of Lithuanian friends. They’re very nice people. The seats were awful, of course, but it was just so nice to get away. Petunia was especially tiresome when I left this year, I was eager to get out of the house.” Although Lily made a point of not discussing her family with many people, Marlene was someone she knew she could trust implicitly, and they never kept anything from each other. Which was why, despite being extremely worried and curious about whatever was troubling her friend, Lily knew better than to press her for information. When Marlene was ready to confide in her, she would. Until then, Lily would try her best to amuse her with stories from her summer and enjoy the few minutes they had to catch up before class.

[spoilme-emmavanity-blog]

Hogwarts Homecoming Party // Lily and Emma [evening, 1 Sept 1977]

[spoilme-emmavanity-blog]

Emma is amused by Lily’s admission about being unnerved by large magical creatures. Having lessons about them with her tutors before she was going off to Hogwarts, Emma could never imagine not loving all the different creatures there are in the magical world. And even the ones she learned of in the muggle one as well after her years in Ireland. However, the three courses Lily lists as the ones she’s most fond of are ones Emma finds no passion for. Arithmancy is a constant for Emma, simply because it was another area covered by her tutors and the only reason she chose it as one of her three elective lessons is because it feels strange to not have it in her life, regardless of whether she really enjoys the complex numbers and equations. It also comes from a consideration for what will best serve her intention to become an Unspeakable in the future. If she does.

The Slytherin is slightly startled by Lily’s question, having just been thinking of her true plan for after school. No one knows about that desire though. Not even Greta. The one she tells everyone is that she wishes to play Quidditch professionally, because no one would question it. Of course the real truth of the matter is that neither career paths seem likely, given her position.

“The real question is what I’ll do after school if my parents can be dissuaded,” Emma says before taking another swig off her butterbeer. After she swallows the sweet beverage, she continues with a forced nonchalance. “The usual for a Pureblood daughter is to be married off, produce an heir to the family of her husband, and then sit on her arse, making idle chitchat with other Pureblood wives and making arrangements for any events or functions she and her husband host. A standard affair and one my parents are familiar with, as they wed in that fashion. The likelihood that they’d consent to my wish to play Professional Quidditch instead of take up house with one of the many upstanding Pureblood males here,” Emma’s blue eyes sweep over the other students in attendance and then glance at the castle towering in the the shadows of the night sky, “is frightfully slim.”

She shrugs, as if the topic doesn’t bother her. “But I’m sure I can have my fun while still following in line with my parents wishes. I only hope that whomever I do marry is decent.”

It isn’t the thought of being married to someone that truly bothers Emma. Her parents and her aunt and uncle were paired off by their families, as are so many of her housemates parents. The thought of being tied down and unable to do as she pleases with her time, both during the preparations for the wedding and after they’ve said the traditional vows turn to the business of being husband and wife is what rankles. Married and quickly moving on to produce an heir and uphold the traditional role of Pureblood wife would mean no more adventures through the woods of Athlone, no pick up games of Quidditch with mates or tossing back a few butterbeers like she is now. As an Unspeakable, sure she would find herself working long hours, but she would be doing something productive with her life and when she isn’t in the bowls of the Ministry, she can fill her time with whatever she likes.

[lilyevans1977-blog]

Although Emma seemed nonplussed as she explained the likely unfolding of her future, Lily couldn’t help but cringe at how calculated it all sounded. Jane Austen, indeed. Arranged marriages, engagements straight out of school and all these incredibly dated sounding notions about the place of the woman in the home and the role that they were expected to fill was making her feel distinctly uncomfortable. The thought of having a child at her age actually made her feel a bit panicky, because as much as she liked to say and think that she was mature, she was fairly certain that she would fail entirely if she was responsible for another human life. It actually filled her with a very definitive sense of dread to imagine being so irrevocably tied down at such a young age. She was looking forward to the freedom that would come her way after school, of being able to explore and grow and learn as an independent adult, without needing to rely on parents or any sort of institution to shelter her. 

There were some days she wasn’t certain that she would marry at all because it just seemed so unnecessary. Perhaps she was just being a selfish seventeen year old, but she enjoyed her autonomy and lack of accountability. At that thought, her mind flicked briefly to Richard, working and toiling patiently away in Cokesworth, a few years older than her and probably convinced that they’d somehow, someday wind up together, but she quickly shifted her focus, not wanting to linger overlong on the inevitable guilt that rose up inside of her whenever she contemplated him and their burgeoning relationship. It had hardly even started and she was positive they would encounter their share of large obstacles...starting with the fact that he was a Muggle. And had no idea (of course) that she was anything different. She’d built a convincing lie that had to do with her going away to boarding school, and it was believable enough...but she knew that eventually, if there was going to be any long-term possibilities for them, she would either have to eschew witchcraft, or reveal herself to him.

Shaking her head, she gave Emma a wane smile, not entirely sure how to respond to all these revelations of the details of pureblood etiquette. “That sounds very complex,” she attempts warily, swallowing against the sudden ball of unpleasantness in her throat. “I hope you’re able to do what you want and not...what you...don’t want.” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, feeling incredibly unsteady and slightly warm under her blouse. Maybe it was the Butterbeer finally catching up with her. Worrying over Richard certainly hadn’t helped, and that familiar pit in her stomach had cropped up again, as it always did whenever she started trying to riddle out their relationship. A shuddering breath made her bring the empty bottle up to her forehead, pressing the cool glass against her clammy skin. “I think I should go...” There was no question in her mind that she had overstayed, overdrank and overthought. “Thanks for inviting me, sorry to just...barge out...too much alcohol...” She fluttered her fingertips against her forehead again and took a stumbling step, looking at her apologetically. “I’ll see you in class.” And with that, she took off up the hill towards the castle, walking quickly and trying to leave all these musings behind her. 

[lilyevans1977-blog]

White, peach, magenta.

White: My first kiss was a boy named Mark who lived on my street and he was very sweet but incredibly shy and nothing really happened after that...

Peach: My favourite teacher so far is probably....Professor Edenthaw. I love that we have a female teacher for Defence Against the Dark Arts! Finally!

Magenta: Well...I don't talk about my family much. It's hard for me to discuss and...it's not like many people ask, anyways. Parents and siblings and all the rest don't really seem relevant when we're all tucked away in the castle, you know?

[lilyevans1977-blog]

Colour me :)

Yellow: When you get older, where would you want to live?

Orange: Where do you want to be right now?

Lilac: What is your dream vacation?

Beige: What is your favorite dream?

White: Who was your first kiss?

Purple: Who was your last kiss?

Tangerine: Give a description of who you like.

Gray: Share a relationship story.

Green: Share a family story.

Gold: Share a story that makes you smile.

Black: Share something you did embarrassingly.

Blue: Are you still friends with the people you met in elementary school?

Magenta: What is something you barely tell anyone?

Red: What are your hobbies?

Violet: What college do you plan to attend?

Brown: Would you rather have a relationship or friend with benefit? Explain.

Peach: Who is your favorite teacher so far?

Pink: What is the meaning behind your url?