But we are family, no matter what they say

me: we're excited to do artfight this year! we finally have motivation to do art again!

exotrauma: hello :)

one of the things that really sucks about exotrauma (apart from it being trauma) is that very few people take it seriously. i don't even think many fictionfolk take it too seriously (tho this is probably bc they are pressured not to!).

late last year i was having exotrauma show up and i talked about it with my therapist, and she immediately looked for an equivalent in this world. she thought that it must have been my brain painting over memories and traumas from this world. and that put me off from talking about it more. i'm aware there may be an overlap between trauma from here and exotrauma, but i don't think viewing it purely as 'real world' trauma that's been hidden is actually that helpful, at least for me. if anything i think it's had a negative impact, because now sometimes i worry we have more trauma than we think we have, even though before that conversation with our therapist we were fairly confident in what was trauma, exotrauma, and some of the things that fell in between. and even if she's right and it was all based on real life trauma, i don't know if immediately suggesting that is a good idea, because clearly we aren't ready to face that

#gbl.txt #idk i'm just rambling now.#cw vent

this is probably controversial (sadly) but i think exotrauma can just be exotrauma.

i don't think anyone's immediate reaction to hearing about someone's exotrauma should be assuming it's based on something that happened in this world. that might be the case sometimes, but i think that's something for the individual to figure out themselves, and not be forced into.

it just feels invalidating and insensitive to have someone compare it to 'normal' trauma without me suggesting the possibility first.

me: we're excited to do artfight this year! we finally have motivation to do art again!

exotrauma: hello :)

#gbl.txt #WHY NOW #cw vent

one of the things that really sucks about exotrauma (apart from it being trauma) is that very few people take it seriously. i don't even think many fictionfolk take it too seriously (tho this is probably bc they are pressured not to!).

late last year i was having exotrauma show up and i talked about it with my therapist, and she immediately looked for an equivalent in this world. she thought that it must have been my brain painting over memories and traumas from this world. and that put me off from talking about it more. i'm aware there may be an overlap between trauma from here and exotrauma, but i don't think viewing it purely as 'real world' trauma that's been hidden is actually that helpful, at least for me. if anything i think it's had a negative impact, because now sometimes i worry we have more trauma than we think we have, even though before that conversation with our therapist we were fairly confident in what was trauma, exotrauma, and some of the things that fell in between. and even if she's right and it was all based on real life trauma, i don't know if immediately suggesting that is a good idea, because clearly we aren't ready to face that

#gbl.txt #cw vent

me: we're excited to do artfight this year! we finally have motivation to do art again!

exotrauma: hello :)

etunaz

people with fnaf redesigns + ocs pspspspsps

i might try and add monty as well but i'm making no promises, i doubt i can draw a ref and thumbnail in that time but who knows.

my d&d guy is also there. for variety.

#hi

Will y'all behave if I talk about internal relationships between alters?

For some reason sanism and cringe culture I've found internal relationships to be one of the biggest things people get weird about when it comes to DID.

Some of the worst takes I've seen either completely disregard it and say it's impossible / not real or worse, they essentially equate it to incest (ok so... first of all not all internal relationships are romantic or sexual, but that aside, masturbation is incest???)

But even when it's just people saying that internal relationships don't count or they're part of a delusion etc etc etc that's just fundamentally misunderstanding how DID works.

Our internal relationships are just as important as our external relationship with the partner.

But but but-look, if you think that sounds wrong, then I want to know why you believe that your relationship to yourself is less important than your relationships with others. That sounds unhealthy.

Discourse aside, I really do want to talk about this.

An internal relationship can be anything that an external relationship can be. Romantic. Sexual. Friends with benefits. Partners. Spouses. Exes. Kinky BDSM relationships with power dynamics. "What are we" relationships. All of the above is what I had in mind when I made the post, but as I said, it can have nothing to do with any of that, too. It can be platonic, familial, or even involve caretaker and therapeutic relationships.

The way we feel for each other is not less real than the way we feel for anyone else externally. The difference is that the way we interact and carry out those relationships is (obviously) within the context of sharing the same body.

Our system has alters who are:

Parents to other alters.

Essentially adopted siblings.

Best friends.

Married to each other.

In a QPR with each other.

Friends with benefits.

In a dom/sub relationship.

Polyamorous with multiple other alters.

Personal protectors for other specific alters (or enemies because of a protector vs persecutor thing).

An internal therapist to other alters.

We're real people so we have real relationships (they just happen internally, which is complex, and can be upsetting or frustrating at times in its own way). Parental figures are proud of the progress we make because they're watching their kids grow up. People can get jealous because of the time their favorite person is spending with another alter. We have years-long tension over breakups that cause some alters to avoid each other or not get along. Relationships between spouses were built over a long time before those alters considered themselves married. People stress over the way that dynamics change over the course of our life. Normal shit.

neon-glowing-rainbow-stims

Some of us don't even know each other; we've never met and only "know" about each other secondhand. Some of us straight-up dislike each other. Etc.

💿 ~ Retro Puterism ~ 💿 (shifterco)

(Credit if you use these!)

#gif #bright colors tw

we've started writing our thoughts on things down more, yesterday we wrote just over 1k words on how SL fits into our timeline and today we've written nearly 2k words on mimic game... it's been good to write it all out, but we're debating on whether we want to share it anywhere or not. on one hand we would like to, on the other hand we also hate exposing our feelings about things.

our dog survived the surgery and is home again :] still not eating unfortunately but she shouldn't have tooth pain anymore, so hopefully that will change

#she has kidney disease as well tho which can make them feel sick and not wanting to eat #if that's what stopping her from eating then there isn't much that can be done other than give her iv fluids #we our feeling hopeful overall tho #cw animal illness #seb.txt

.

i think we might have to put our dog down... we've been dreading this possibility for years. it feels horrible to have to make this decision.

#cw animal illness #cw animal death

she's going into surgery tomorrow. there is a risk she won't survive it, though it sounds like the risks are a lot lower than it used to be with modern medicine. hoping that everything goes as good as it can.

#cw animal illness

.

i think we might have to put our dog down... we've been dreading this possibility for years. it feels horrible to have to make this decision.

i kind of want to be team comedy ngl but my headmates chose team mystery...

we have one week to get references done for artfight and chat idk if we can do it.

I DID IIIITTTTTTTTT well i added one (myself). i could and want to either draw a full body ref or get Freddy's ref done but it's past 3am. i shouldn't be awake. as much as i want to keep drawing

we have one week to get references done for artfight and chat idk if we can do it.

hm wait. i'd still have to draw this but i could just add myself to artfight. i could do this. i could even add two versions of me (human form and animatronic form). and i could even add my oc (which is actually just me). but this all depends on whether i can draw it.

it would be so funny if i did manage to draw it all and then none of my headmates end up adding anything. artfight could be Mine this year <- don't actually want this but given that we have exactly one (1) week-

we have one week to get references done for artfight and chat idk if we can do it.