#cw vent

[tacticalhimbo]

wow nevermind i should just quit writing! ^_^

[jackks-monster]

not even ten minutes home yet and the delusions are already starting again ;~;

[dizz0]

I'm really freaked out right now. I really don't want anyone close to me dying. Please nobody die. I don't want anyone else to die.

[rqccharadreemurr]

there’s only one good thing in my life right now and it could leave so easily

[bug-infested-robot]

This is a long vent, with several segments going over things about my family

You do NOT have to read this if you don't want to, I just needed to get all of it out of my system

⚠️name dropping⚠️

⚠️mentions of perversion, misogyny, transphobia, homophobia, body shaming⚠️

I feel uncomfortable in my own home

Because almost everyday 8:00-20:00

Im home alone with disgusting sick men

"Oh but aren't you a guy?", yeah, a closted transman in a transphobic household.

And im not saying "disgusting sick men" in a sexist way, im saying that because im stuck with 2-3 guys that are horrible to me.

My dad's a fucking creep that constantly victimizes himself and refuses to respect boundaries

Joshua and Nathaniel constantly bully and harass me

Nathaniel might be worse than my dad, because he has targeted misogynistic remarks towards me, and theres been times (when I was younger) where he had walked in on me changing and just stood there staring at my privates.

I can't even be myself at home because im living with transphobic, homophobic, maga supporting, overly religious christians.

Whenever i try to express myself through my intrests im almost immediately shut down, either it being my parents finding the TINIEST FUCKING THING "demonic" somehow, or Nathaniel being a little whiney nosey bitch saying something about it that would make me parents hate. Or im just bullied.

I stopped masking my anger issues when I was around 11, and I've tried to re-mask but I haven't been able to. So whenever something makes me mad, im pretty clear about it, I can get loud and even physically aggressive.

And i am aware that its a bad thing.

One of the main triggers are my brothers, Joshua and Nathaniel, constantly picking on me. Commenting on my weight, saying I smell, etc.

I grew up with them constantly degrading me.

And what did my parents do? Absolutely FUCKING NOTHING.

Thats all of the stuff I can think of

I'll probably make another one if more stuff comes up

[angelicleadings]

|| I think I might be officially done with Twitter. I feel more sound on tumblr than I do on the other, as fun as it is.

[yearing-tgal]

i kinda wanna attempt.

do i?

i think it's more like: "i think i'd be great if i died rn"

and that's more like: "i wish i didn't think"

who came up with the idea that feelings could be described with words? they were stupid. you fucking cant.

[moxxietude]

// i need to stay away from tunglr or i'm going to delete

probably same for all my s.m. apps.

it's feeling like things would be better that way

and i'm a drain on the blogging ecosystem

so why not