lindsay marie campbell

  mother • wife • immortal? 

[lindsaymcampbell]

Evan tilted his head back to the sun when Lindsay mentioned their very first encounter, letting buried memories flood back like Helios’ ocean waves. He tutted, beaming as he considered how far they’d come since that first day. As she continued to relay their warmest moments, Evan pulled her into an embrace, placing a grateful kiss against the top of her head. He held her as she mentioned his mom, thanking her, before he did pull away to think through his reservations. As always, Lindsay’s words quelled his shortcomings. He stood in front of her more secure in this decision than before. He stole one more quick glance in their daughter’s direction before he caught how his wife too held concerns of her own. Directing his entire self to her direction, Evan instinctively reached out to hold her cheek against his hand, tucking her soft waves behind her ear. “Hey,” he began softly with resolve. “You mentioned my mother before, and I when I think of her, I think of how she would light up every time I entered a room. If I ever felt like I wasn’t enough, her smile told me otherwise.  And that’s a mother. You support and you love and you celebrate Alice everyday, just like my mom did for me when I was growing up. And from the moment you agreed to be in her life, you have never faltered, even other people did,” he paused, a pang in his chest below. “Even when I did.” He kept eyes fixed on her’s. “For those reasons, Lindsay, you are her mother. And always, always, always will be, and Alice knows that too. Do you hear me? Always. You have nothing to worry about.” 

Lindsay gladly allowed him to pull her close, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face on his chest as he kissed the top of her head. As much as she wished she could stay there––timeless, worryless––eventually Lindsay knew they had to pull away. Instinctively, as he cupped her cheek with his hand, Lindsay pressed a kiss to his wrist before sighing, his eyes heavy on hers. You can’t promise that, Lindsay thought to herself. In the end, only Alice got to decide who her mother was. Lindsay kept her eyes on his for as long as she dared before looking away, stealing a glance of Alice and Noah playing. “Maybe we should... tell her, I mean,” she said, biting on her lower lip. “How do we do that? How do we tell her the truth and shield her from the worst of Helios’ ghosts? And... I mean, Oliver, Athena... how much of them should she know about?” Lindsay asked, clearly overthinking about the task ahead. 

[lindsaymcampbell]

“i’m not affraid of him. i’ll call the big squirt ‘sweet cheeks’ if i feel so inclined.” garrett grins widely, leaning latently against the wall. “personally there’s a thousand places i’d rather be than here. but it’s better with you lot around.”

Lindsay sighed, holding back a laugh and rolling her eyes at him. “Sometimes I am surprised you managed to make it all the way through my wedding without throwing something at him,” she pointed out. Lindsay looked at Garrett and nodded, feeling exactly the same way. “Come on, I know how to lift both our spirits,” she said, offering her hand to him. 

[lindsaymcampbell]

He easily met Lindsay’s question with a smile, parting his lips to relay his intended itinerary before he paused realizing many of their happiest moments were forever tangled in something much more painful. He thought of when he’d kissed her for the first time, the magic he’d encountered, but how that paired with two sets of adultery and a wounded ankle. When she saved his life, it was the aftermath of a rather devastating car wreck. Their trip to the carnival with Alice was after they had fought. Their story never was the result of a straightened path, but he found “I would show her the moment when your book was published, when we first got Mac… when we baked m&m cookies….” some piece of him quieted himself before, “when you were with me when my dad died.” Feeling his heart lurch, Evan scurried towards a slight smile. “There’s a lot I’d love to share with her.”

He watched a new thought grace her features. “Lindsay, I agree with you,” he unfolded carefully, taking his hand back to run it over his hair. “Everyday, I’m more and more blown away by her capacity for understanding. I don’t know where she got that from,” he laughed dryly. “I think she deserves to know everything too. And I want that. I want her to know that we will always be honest with her. I hope I’m not…” Evan focuses past Lindsay’s eyes, organizing his thoughts before he meets with her again, looking her straight on. “There’s a lot in my past that I’m not proud of. I just don’t want her to think less of me. That’s all. That’s the only reason I hesitate.”

Lindsay watched his smile, taking in the way his eyes flickered as indicators of the conflicting emotions that their places and memories brought up. Lindsay’s cabin, where she had first turned a room into a nursery by herself. Alice’s first birthday party under Lindsay’s care, the day Evan came back for the second time. The hospital where they had taken her after Alice’s dollhouse fell on her. How do you begin to untangle such a story? Lindsay watched him carefully, smiling warmly as he listed the stops on their tour. She raised her hand to his cheek, caressing it lightly as she added her own suggestions. “The coffee shop where we first met and you flirted with me, the old police station where you used to work, the spot in the park where you taught her how to throw a football...” she said.

“I know where she gets it from,” Lindsay said warmly. “You were always so understanding with me, you still are. Even through the worst. You get that from your mom,” Lindsay said sincerely before staying quiet, letting Evan put his thoughts in order. She listened patiently until he was done and she swallowed, picking the best words to use to figure this out. “Alice adores you, Evan––she could never think less of you. She has no reason to. Aren’t you right here? Didn’t you choose to work from home to spend as much time as possible with her over the past few years?” Lindsay stroked his arm gently before crossing her arms over her chest, trying to quiet her racing heart. “Your bond with her, there’s no breaking that. Even when you were gone, I remember she used to sleep in the same position as you.” Lindsay swallowed, looking down at her feet. “But I promised Athena. I promised her Alice would grow up with a mother, not with an Aunt Lindsay... and I am not ready to give up the title. I don’t think I’ll ever be,” Lindsay said quietly.  

[lindsaymcampbell]

 “Lindsey, we both know exes cannot be friends and as much as I know you don’t want to believe that, I mean I take full responsibility for how things ended between us, it was a shitty way of handling things. But if I didn’t do what I did, you wouldn’t have been happily married to Evan right now, with a kid and living the life you always wanted.” Something I couldn’t give you, Oliver said in his head, shrugging his shoulder as he placed a smile upon his face. “I mean I’m practically tied at the hip with Matt and Garrett now, they kind of keep me on my toes along with being a teacher so you don’t need to worry about me.”

Lindsay looked at Oliver, trying to read what was going on in his head and failing. It had been too long and their thoughts were not in sync anymore. “I love my life, I am not saying otherwise. I am just saying God knows how long we’ll be stuck in this island together, would it kill you to be...” Lindsay sighed, the writer at a loss for the word that encompassed what she wanted. “But fine. If you want to be just exes, then I’ll respect that. I know I have no right to ask anything from you. I’ll shoot you a smile when we cross paths and that’s it.” 

[lindsaymcampbell]

“Oh, Mrs. Campbell, I like where your head is at. Do you mean like a…. just you and me memory?” he unfolded suggestively, green eyes dancing. “Or not so much? Not so much is good with me, too,” Evan backpedaled sweetly. He stole one more glance in Alice’s direction. “Truly, though. I’ve been thinking that it could be nice to give Alice a tour of the good moments. Show her how we became us, this family. I think it would help all of us. I know I feel like I’m tiptoeing around this place when I know it wasn’t all bad. I just need a refresher.” 

Lindsay laughed as his voice dropped at the suggestion, watching his green eyes flash with a plan. She then followed his gaze to Alice and Noah, the two lost in a world of their own as always, swinging back and forth as high as they could. “What stops would you include on Alice’s tour?” She asked him, linking her fingers with those on his free hand, looking down at their joined hands before looking up, seeing the bench where she had seen Athena last after scheduling a play date for her and Alice. “Sometimes I wonder if she was right, you know? Athena. Maybe Alice should know the full story, get the full tour. How does it make sense for us to wait until she is eighteen?” Lindsay sighed, looking up at Evan and smiling warmly. “But then I think it’s for the best, not every stop has to be on the tour, right?”

[lindsaymcampbell]

“No, no you had no reason to tell me anything Lindsey, once we left the island it was kind of in the air on what we do with our lives. But I guess that kind of beats the whole purpose now we’re back at where we are.” Oliver rambled on with a shrug of his shoulders, “who would have thought we’d end up back here huh? But if I’m being honest, you do look happier with married life and I’m sure Evan has been treating you better.” 

“But isn’t that messed up?” Lindsay asked finally, looking into Oliver’s familiar eyes. “I used to tell you everything... and now there’s ‘no reason for me to tell you anything’? How is that fair?” Lindsay didn’t look away from him, hoping just this once he would stick around to sort things out. “I am happy, Oliver. I’m the happiest I have ever been. And when I see you, I don’t want to pretend I am not or tiptoe around you, I want to tell you. And I want you to tell me what makes you happy, not just hear a second-hand story from Garrett... you know he’s terrible with details.”

[lindsaymcampbell]

Evan let Lindsay guide his gaze away, for he certainly didn’t wear ‘unobtrusive’ very skillfully, especially in a place like this. Something deeply rooted told him to keep a close eye on his two favorite people. He threaded an arm across her low back so a hand could rest against her waist. “For all of the nightmares we endured here, I can remember the good stuff just as vividly.” Evan nodded his head over her shoulder. “That beach. It’s where we skipped stones, remember?”

Lindsay turned around to see where he was nodding at, smiling warmly even before the beach came into focus. “Of course I remember,” Lindsay said softly, looking at the empty beach for a moment before turning around to face Evan again. “It would be very hard to find a spot on this island that doesn’t spark a memory of you, all kinds of memories,” Lindsay added. “Maybe we can go on a hunt for such a place, a place with no existing memories. And then we can fix that.” 

[lindsaymcampbell]

“so i have you to blame for that, fantastic.” Becca grins widely, “busy, he’s been teaching a lot. everyone wants him to guest tutor, and he works so hard.”

“I guess I can take the blame,” Lindsay agreed with a small laugh before nodding, smiling warmly as Beca talked about Eric. “Will you tell him I said hi, next time you talk to him?”

[lindsaymcampbell]

“whats not to miss?” garrett squeezes back tightly, ruffling up Lindsay’s hair. “where’s the little squirt? and the big one for that matter?”

“you are right. how did I ever live a single day without you?” Lindsay returned, laughing as he ruffled her hair before groaning. “Please don’t ever call Evan a ‘big squirt’ to his face,” she said with a chuckle, wrinkling her nose. “Alice is off with Noah, and Evan is bringing our stuff to our cabin... god, isn’t that such a weird thing to say?”

[lindsaymcampbell]

“that was twenty minutes ago, im hurt.”

“There was a long line!” Lindsay said, rolling her eyes before giving in and reaching to hug Garrett. “Fine, I missed you too.”

[lindsaymcampbell]

“You think it over. Take your time. We’ve still got a lot of it. Even if it’s no longer forever,” Evan outlined romantically returning her kiss. He brought contented eyes to his daughter, but he opted for discretion like his wife suggested. “That’s so sweet. Can I just say that I would be glad not to be stuck like this. I don’t want to watch her grow up and stay….” he tapers off, having trouble saying the words. “You know what I mean.” 

Lindsay kissed him again, making sure he didn’t stare at Alice for too long and gave their cover away. After all, her husband was known for gazing lovingly at their daughter. “I’ll think it over, let you know what I decide,” she teased with a grin which promptly fell off her lips as Evan continued, knowing exactly what he meant. “There is nothing I want more,” she agreed quietly. 

[lindsaymcampbell]

Oliver tried to avoid the whole ordeal of Lindsey being married but he couldn’t help but be happy for his ex-girlfriend, getting what he couldn’t provide for her, sure there were regrets where he could have handled things better but he knew maybe that chapter of their story was to remain an end. Oliver swallowed the lump and forced a smile upon his face, “I know…surprising stuff right there.” 

Lindsay’s smile completely evaporated as Oliver brought his lips to curve up against their will. Things might have gone south with them, but Lindsay could always tell when Oliver’s smiles were sincere––and when they were not. “I am sorry... I should have...” Lindsay said, sighing and trying to put her thoughts in order. “I thought you knew. I thought maybe Garrett would have told you... not that it was his responsibility...” she rambled. 

[lindsaymcampbell]

“alex spent the whole flight terrified we accidentally left eric behind. he’s never been on a plane without his dad.”

“That might be my fault, actually. We watched Home Alone last time Alex came over,” Lindsay said with a chuckle. “How’s Eric?”

[lindsaymcampbell]

“Make sure to keep that around for when we renew our vows. Through sickness and in health. Through the cool and uncool…” Evan trailed, placing gentle hands against either side of Lindsay’s head, brushing her hair behind her shoulders. “Where did you say Alice and Noah went?”

“I don’t know, am I ready to take on the uncool? It’s a big commitment...” she joked, kissing him gently before pulling back with a warm smile. “They are over there, on the swings set,” Lindsay pointed. “Don’t look at them though, they’ll run and hide if it seems like we are watching them.”

[lindsaymcampbell]

“I suppose you can say that for Matt, I mean…he’s been there for such a long time for me, and I have to repay him back being a good adult figure for his kid, because we both know…how he can be.” 

“I don’t think you have to repay him, I think you two are just stuck with each other. In the best way, of course,” Lindsay said. “Both him and Tiana are lucky to have you. And Garrett––who would have thought you ended being friends with my childhood best friend?” Lindsay laughed. “Happy for you both, but also strange for me to watch you and my best man hanging out.”

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

[alaskaawrites]

ft: @lindsaymcampbell

[lindsaymcampbell]

“Matt can be well Matt…but we’re neighbors so I mean you can imagine the struggle…I have an excuse to drag him since well…you know the whole ordeal.” 

“Neighbors? That sounds like a lot of work. Though I am glad you are there for Matt, and Tiana. She needs an adult around,” she said with a chuckle. “And I am sure Matt is there for you. He was always so... protective.”