pairing: kuroo tetsuro x f!reader x bokuto kotaro
chapter summary: Bokuto Kotaro is the devil, heโs sure of it
warning; language, alcohol consumption, mentions of throwing up, slightly toxic behavior
His head was pulsing so hard against the walls of his skull, threatening to split open so his brain could jump out of its cage and be free from the mistakes heโs made. The pounding of blood against his earlobes was the only thing he could hear, every thunderous beat churning the nausea deep in his gut. He could feel the burning acid of bile build up at the base of his throat, and it took everything in him to push it back down.
His eyes stung from the sticky liquid still dripping down from the ends of his hair, each blink setting the burn deeper into his cornea. He could hardly see past the mob of blurry faces that came to watch him make a fool of himself, ignoring the incredulous gasps and scoffs from his audience as he shoved his way through the crowd.
The panic was slowly creeping its way into his lungs, chest tightening with every second that passed. His control was completely wrenched from his grasp, unable to regulate his own breathing, the oxygen never reaching deep enough to provide him any comfort. The gravity of what he had just done began to crash down onto his shoulders, and his knees shook as he resisted the weight of his consequences itching to drag him down to rock bottom. But he didnโt have the time for that right now.
His mind was clear, kicked into gear the moment he heard Akaashiโs voice, and he was aware of what it was he needed to do. Except, the shards of the mask he had been clutching on to was now littered across the ground of your feet, and the doubt hiding behind its barricade swallowed Bokuto completely whole. Each decision heโs made felt like a turn in the wrong direction, and the accumulation of his actions had never been thrown back to his face harder than this.
Was he doing the right thing, chasing after Hikari after humiliating her in front of nearly everyone she knew? Would she even want to see him, would she bother giving him the time of day? He doesnโt deserve it, he knows. So even if she did, what would he say? What could he say? What right does he have to comfort her now, when she was crying because of him?
He didnโt know โ he had no idea, but even so, he trampled across this house like an animal out of its cage in search of the victim of his indecisions. His mind was on a mission, but apparently his body was still recovering from the bottles of liquor he had been guzzling down all night. He could feel his limbs being clumsy, feel himself bump into corners and crash into furniture, and he couldnโt even tell how many โAre you alright, Bokuto?โs he knocked away with his elbows, but he didnโt really care.
He was a mess. Everything was a mess. But he needed to find Hikari.
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