Aedion’s Dad

Hello... this is my biography I think I’m not very good with this technology.. I’m here to interact with my son and my boyfriend, but I don’t know how any of this works I need support. but I am definitely here to make dad jokes ...

[lionheart-gavriel]

Whose excited for the new Maas book tmrw???

[hightarquinlord]

I’m still sitting here wondering what the hell was in that box Cassian wanted to give Nesta

[lionheart-gavriel]

So I’m in like waiting to get in for the twenty one Pilots concert with @hightarquinlord and it’s hellish and I have to pee

[hightarquinlord]

@ my fam

Did we all die or something????

@iamthebonecarver @wolfprincess1229 @nerdperson524 @officialsuriel @shadowdaddy-az

[nerdperson524]

I went to school and got a job RIP

[hightarquinlord]

Disgusting - unacceptable - marry a billionaire for his money and then kill him

[nerdperson524]

Well I’m talk to a dude who’s making bank for his age soooo

[hightarquinlord]

Are we planning on killing him???

[nerdperson524]

NO

[hightarquinlord]

Well… that’s no fun

[nerdperson524]

But I luv him

[hightarquinlord]

Love is overrated

[morrigan-the-warrior]

Don’t kill him then! Leave him in a vegetative state!

[nerdperson524]

[morrigan-the-warrior]

bu-but what about the money?

[nerdperson524]

No no no…he’ll take care of me

[hightarquinlord]

Yeah what about the money

[nerdperson524]

He has money to take care of me and him

[hightarquinlord]

But … murder = more money

[nerdperson524]

No murder= love and family

[hightarquinlord]

Hey you can also have love and family with murder - look at the Dads?????

Have you met our parents they are so lovey dovey and violent

[nerdperson524]

I’m not killing him

[hightarquinlord]

Fine have it your way … I’ll kill him

[nerdperson524]

noOoooooOOOOO

[morrigan-the-warrior]

Okay fine but then @hightarquinlord can put him in a wooden box and drop him in the sea. Now then even if he dies, it wouldn’t be our fault, now would it?

[nerdperson524]

[iamthebonecarver]

@shadowdaddy-az idk if I should start looking at therapists or be proud

[nerdperson524]

Get @mor-and-her-attitude @hightarquinlord therapists

[hightarquinlord]

No be proud of us we’re going to be just like you dad !!!!! @iamthebonecarver

[lionheart-gavriel]

@iamthebonecarver if you get my husband therapy I will make sure he goes ..... I’m not liking all this killing significant others talk coming from him...

[hightarquinlord]

Me: * Runs across mountains, swims through rivers, rides a bike through the desert to knock on your door *

Me: “ Hello, do you have any time to talk about our High Lord Tarquin? “

[hightarquinlord]

HEADCANNON

Where you live in the afterlife is based off of what high school you went to

[iamthebonecarver]

you and your rp group are lowkey cool as fuck like??

@amren-rhyssecond @too-turnt-tamlin @officialsuriel @the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty @nerdperson524 @wolfprincess1229 @hightarquinlord @lionheart-gavriel @flowerchild-elain @chaolssalad

We????? Are???? Cool????????????

[lionheart-gavriel]

The coolest 😎

[iamthebonecarver]

Moooooooooooms are we there yettttttttttttttt

@queenofmotherfuckingterrasen @starseternalnighttriumphant

[queenofangrymoths]

Well. It’s a blizzard outside so yeah, I think we might have.

[iamthebonecarver]

HELL YES! *opens the door and runs out into the blizzard*

[queenofangrymoths]

Oh god, we lost one. @starseternalnighttriumphant help.

[starseternalnighttriumphant]

DONNIE GET BACK IN THE FCKIN CAR OR SO HELP ME GODS

[iamthebonecarver]

BUT IM LOOKING FOR THE PENGUINS

[starseternalnighttriumphant]

DO NOT MAKE ME COUNT TO 3

[the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty]

AHHHHH SNOWWWWWWW

*Jumps outta the car*

[iamthebonecarver]

WHAT MOM? I CANT HEAR YOU OVER THE WIND! DID YOU SAY YOU FOUND 3!!!??

[the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty]

WAIT SHIT YOU FOUND TREE! MY DOG!!!

[iamthebonecarver]

NO, I THINK SHE SAID SHE FOUND GLEE

[the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty]

TEA?!?

[iamthebonecarver]

NO! A PEA!

[the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty]

WHY THE FUCK WOULD THERE BE PEARS IN ANTARTICA?!?

[officialsuriel]

BECAUSE I BROUGHT THEM! *chucks it at you*

[the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty]

Aww FUCK

[lionheart-gavriel]

What in the actual fuck

[rhysand-vs-fenrys]

I don’t think Tarquin gets enough credit for being the first High Lord to say “Fuck it” and try to bring back Rhysand. Helion had already told Feyre he didn’t think it’d work, if Tarquin hadn’t stepped forward I don’t think anyone else would have given it a shot.

[iamthebonecarver]

I think this post is too long. Did you mean “I don’t think Tarquin gets enough credit for like anything” ? I’m just curious

[iamthebonecarver]

..i am so sassy

[nerdperson524]

damn dad chill tf out

lets have family dinner it’s getting to chummy around here

@hightarquinlord @iamthebonecarver @shadowdaddy-az @wolfprincess1229 @ressina-of-the-rainbow ad whoever else. idk who’s in this family

[hightarquinlord]

Hey - sister I like when it gets chummy just because you don’t dosent mean we always have to be at each other’s throats

[lionheart-gavriel]

@nerdperson524 plus - I’m the only one allowed near Tarquins throat

[shadowdaddy-az]

IT’S YA BOY SHADOWDADDY-AZ

@iamthebonecarver

[iamthebonecarver]

Love me

[shadowdaddy-az]

But you already agreed to mary @hightarquinlord…

[iamthebonecarver]

But that’s marriage. Doesn’t mean love. Two different words with two different meanings.

[shadowdaddy-az]

But i want to be your love and husband! Not just your love!

[iamthebonecarver]

You can be my third husband

[hot-helion]

I ship this too

[shadowdaddy-az]

@hot-helion youre like your own fandom with you own little ships

[hot-helion]

True, I have enough ships to make a navy

[shadowdaddy-az]

You might as well switch jobs with @hightarquinlord

[hot-helion]

@hightarquinlord what do you say?

[hightarquinlord]

YOU DONT LOVE ME ???? *sniff sniff*

@iamthebonecarver

[shadowdaddy-az]

Can we adopt you as our baby? @iamthebonecarver??

[hightarquinlord]

I’m so confused *tears* what’s going on I need a hug *crying dramatically*

[iamthebonecarver]

*hugs tightly with no plan of letting go* I don’t know… ask Azriel…

[hightarquinlord]

*hugs back with equal intent*

Mr.Azriel what’s going on

[iamthebonecarver]

……I’m still honestly confused

[themosthandsomehighlord]

Az…..what have you done…..

[shadowdaddy-az]

Literally nothing…

[iamthebonecarver]

Hi new brother in-law!

[shadowdaddy-az]

*nervous laughter* haha yeah see everythings chill @themosthandsomehighlord

[themosthandsomehighlord]

*slowly backs away* I’m just gonna go and call Feyre to take care of this……

[shadowdaddy-az]

I wouldn’t do that…

[themosthandsomehighlord]

But she has experience with these creatures….

[iamthebonecarver]

……she needs to hurry…. I’ve missed my highlady terribly

[lucien-the-leaf]

Can I help you, oh fae who are laughably inexperienced for being so old @iamthebonecarver @themosthandsomehighlord @shadowdaddy-az

[iamthebonecarver]

LISTEN MR FIRE DICK! First off I’m not fae

[hightarquinlord]

Dad does this mean that @themosthandsomehighlord and @queen-archeron are my aunt and uncle????

[iamthebonecarver]

Yes

[iamthebonecarver]

@hightarquinlord and @shadowdaddy-az Look! This was the birth of our family! 

@wolfprincess1229 @nerdperson524 @ressina-of-the-rainbow @officialsuriel @the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty @lionheart-gavriel @the-lovely-stryga @mayhemories @illyrianpriestess

[officialsuriel]

This confuses me. Does this mean @hightarquinlord is our dad too or?

[hightarquinlord]

Omg I can’t believe you found it 😭 no after that we agreed that I was their long lost son I can’t even this was so long ago @iamthebonecarver @shadowdaddy-az @officialsuriel @lionheart-gavriel

[lionheart-gavriel]

Yeah @officialsuriel Tarquin is my daddy and he is your brother get it right

[iamthebonecarver]

Bonnie has like 5 different spouses. Idk if you guys knew that so……

(Not to mention kassian is basically an honorary spouse)

@empress-ofbloodshed @the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty

[the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty]

[iamthebonecarver]

Shut up and let me love you @the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty

[nerdperson524]

But cass is a bad influence….most of the time at least.

TARQUIN WHERE ARE WE GONNA LIVE @hightarquinlord

[iamthebonecarver]

@nerdperson524 @hightarquinlord

You are all literally grown ass beings and Tarquin is a highlord of his own court. Plus you’re always welcome to stay in your rooms at home. Not to mention half of your family runs half of prythian so wtf do you mean “where are we gonna live”

[hightarquinlord]

@nerdperson524 I have a really cool secret tree house that not even Gavriel knows about - we can hide in there!

[nerdperson524]

YAAAAS

[hightarquinlord]

Don’t tell dad though he said I couldn’t have a tree house because I’m “accident prone” - Whatever that means

[iamthebonecarver]

Don’t tell dad what?

[hightarquinlord]

Uh - I’m having an affair

[iamthebonecarver]

That’s a lie. No one else is going to put up with your eccentrics

[hightarquinlord]

Uh you don’t know that - I’m having an affair with Cassian nothing to do with trees or houses in them - right Cassian @the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty

[the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty]

Um. Yes.

(but that means I get to come right???!?)

@hightarquinlord

[hightarquinlord]

( obviously - meet us at three )

Yeah it’s very serious father

[the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty]

Been going on for months.

(Yes! Okay I’ll bring food.)

[hightarquinlord]

Oh yeah - DONT tell Gavriel

( Oreos are a must )

[iamthebonecarver]

@lionheart-gavriel do you think they know we can hear them?

[lionheart-gavriel]

Honestly Mr.Carver I wouldn’t know I’m really just waiting for them at the bottom of the tree house

[hightarquinlord]

*Smirks in gay*

[cloverfieldsforever]

bitch me too

[hightarquinlord]

Who wants to have a family dress up tea party 🎊

@iamthebonecarver @lionheart-gavriel @nerdperson524 @officialsuriel @wolfprincess1229 @shadowdaddy-az ( I think I tagged all my siblings ??? )

[lionheart-gavriel]

A tea party sounds fun… I wonder what I should dress up as though…

[hightarquinlord]

SEXY KITTY CAT I CALL IT DAD HELP ME GET A COSTUME IN HIS SIZE @iamthebonecarver

[lionheart-gavriel]

My husband is just here to sexualize me and it’s fine

[hightarquinlord]

Who wants to have a family dress up tea party 🎊

@iamthebonecarver @lionheart-gavriel @nerdperson524 @officialsuriel @wolfprincess1229 @shadowdaddy-az ( I think I tagged all my siblings ??? )

[lionheart-gavriel]

A tea party sounds fun... I wonder what I should dress up as though...

[freshest-memes]

I feel like an illegitimate child

[iamthebonecarver]

gavriel daddy

[lionheart-gavriel]

Yes? @iamthebonecarver

[the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty]

I… I wanna just go on a date. @highlord-tarquin

@iamthebonecarver @lionheart-gavriel

[iamthebonecarver]

I’ll take you on a date! You can be my date to Rita’s tomorrow with @hightarquinlord and @lionheart-gavriel

[hightarquinlord]

Hey who says he gets to be your date I want him to be my date! @iamthebonecarver @the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty @lionheart-gavriel

[lionheart-gavriel]

I’m impartial… as long as Tarquin gets to be my date

He can have more than one I just like seeing him happy

@iamthebonecarver @hightarquinlord @the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty

[iamthebonecarver]

@hightarquinlord I say he gets to be my date because I said so first! You have your husband!

[hightarquinlord]

UH you also have a husband lest you forget father we are both married! @iamthebonecarver @the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty

[iamthebonecarver]

Yes but this is different considering it’s my husbands husband

@hightarquinlord

[hightarquinlord]

Well he’s been having an affair with your husband with my husband

( It’s like a Gay Spanish soap opera up in here ) @iamthebonecarver @lionheart-gavriel @the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty

[iamthebonecarver]

*huge gasp!* cassian! How could you cheat on azriel with gavriel! You know you’re the love of az’s life and the light to his darkness! How could you!

@the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty @shadowdaddy-az @lionheart-gavriel @hightarquinlord

[hightarquinlord]

* gasp x2 * are you saying that he is wrong for not being able to resist my beautiful husband - THEREFORE ARE YOU CALLING MY HUSBAND UGLY -

@iamthebonecarver @shadowdaddy-az @the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty @lionheart-gavriel

[lionheart-gavriel]

I have no idea what’s going on and I just wanted to go to Rita’s 😭

@iamthebonecarver @hightarquinlord @shadowdaddy-az @the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty

[the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty]

I swear! I’m innocent! It was a one time thing!

@hightarquinlord @iamthebonecarver @lionheart-gavriel @shadowdaddy-az

[lionheart-gavriel]

That’s what he wants you to think. Me him and Tarquin go on dates all the time @the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty @iamthebonecarver @hightarquinlord @shadowdaddy-az

[iamthebonecarver]

I don’t even know who you are anymore @the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty

[lionheart-gavriel]

I’m starting to think I don’t either @the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty @iamthebonecarver