Just feel like writing something since I'm bored. Throughout my life, I've met lots of ungrateful and temporary people. When all I wanted was love. Doesn't matter what kind. But I guess the nice and soft guys get treated like shit most of the time until they turn into a stone hearted monster. Honestly speaking even though it has been 3 years, I've turned into a monster. With no intention of going back to who I once was even though I miss that person badly. I never want to go back to the shithole people put me in. That's why I've become less noisy, more quiet and more anti social. Hahaha funny thing is I was never called anti social before because I was a very lively and joyful kid. I always hated to be quiet and silent. Hahaha but to look where I am now, honestly speaking. I'm nothing like my old self. I've turned into something else. Whether good or bad God knows and I'll only leave it at this. All I wanted was attention and love from my dear ones and yet they despise me and treat me like shit and telling me that I need help. As I'm typing I really feel like cursing and swearing. But shit happens. So I won't do such a thing. And also another thing is this, I don't wish for any relationships I get now to end up like my old one. Oh Lord. I cannot do that same shit over and over again. Whether it's the person or not, I don't care. I just want to be happy and I just want to be able to be who I am without having to hide anything in fear of getting hurt again. Deep down, all of us feel lonely. We don't need a fucking relationship, we just want someone to fill up that empty space in our Hearts. Whether anyone realizes it or not, we all want to love and be loved in return. That's what we want. We don't wish for anything but the best for not just us, but our partner and most importantly our family. Speaking of family, how can I forget my own brother? Hahaha. My brother has always been there for me through the thick and thin though he never showed me love and affection. He was the only one I could fall back on besides Christ and my mom. I don't know where would I be without my brother today. I love my family and friends a lot and I just hope my life gets better and better by the grace of God as days, weeks, months and years go by. ☝🏾️
