11:37 @lipncheek - Tumblr Blog

chlorofeel-deactivated20240728

I'm going to start traumacore posting on linkedin

Fran Drescher as Fran Fine in “The Nanny” which won a Primetime Emmy for Outstanding Individual Achievement in Costuming for a Series in 1995

wolfyung-deactivated20200107

sabertoothwalrus

hey does anyone want a repressed memory

sabertoothwalrus

toastbutteregg

transkafka-deactivated20150624

ronald reagan died without knowing about bofa…

debthaver-deactivated20170812

who is ronald regean

cloudsnothing

bofa deez nuts

toastbutteregg

this is beautiful

paddingtonicon

jimhensonreject

with-practice

ewaneneollav

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whiskey-wolf-deactivated2020060

And this is what happens when a masterfully crafted katana collides with a masterfully crafted longsword.

Suck it, katana

val-ritz

And that is what happens when a masterfully crafted scalpel collides with a masterfully crafted guillotine.

Does nobody understand that longswords and katanas are two different kinds of tool?Longswords are essentially sharpened fucksticks designed to destroy the shit out of anything resembling armor that comes their way. They shatter bone, jelly flesh, and essentially fuck people up by sheer inexorable force of being a goddamn sharp steel bar.

Katanas don’t do that.They’re not meant to withstand collision with armor or a brick wall or a charging fully outfitted warhorsebecause the circumstances of its development didn’t call for that. It’s a precision instrument. It’s designed to be lightweight, outmaneuver, and find weak spots, not go barreling into people hack-n-slashing your way to victory. It’s a specialized tool.

In a sense this reflects a core difference between cultures; katanas are a shitton of work and preparation to make the execution as efficient and streamlined as possible, while longswords are more durably and simply made in response to a climate that would require a soldier to be a one-man battering ram in battle.

karstaagskookykastle-blog

You slam any blade into any other blade and one of them is at least going to get chipped, because you’re NOT SUPPOSED TO FUCKING DO THAT.

Medieval European / Japanese sword-fighting manuals didn’t have “Now Clang the Swords Together and Totally Ruin Them For No Good Reason Whatsoever” sections. That sword-clanging crap is from movies because you want to show a 2 minute dancey sword-fight and have to do something during that time, because in real sword fights it’s either over in 25 seconds with one guy on the ground, dead, or it goes on for 4 hours as two guys in armor wear themselves out, slamming the broad sides of the sword against the armor.

Swords aren’t lightsabers.

This is like proving a Volkswagen Beetle is a “crap car” by running it into a bridge pylon at 85 mph. It’s a pointless demonstration, because you’re not supposed to do that.

Neither one of these weapons was invented to cut another sword in half, Both were invented to cut a GUY in half. In slightly different ways, but still.