Kermit The Fraud

I'm Jack! This is my personal blog for Crimes Against Buffoonery. My fiance is @roselalonde They/She

[fishingboatproceeds]

Cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied. I’m only satisfied when I feel those intense, powerful, salty, hot pumps of cum down my throat. When I sit back on my heels, look up at you with cum all over my mouth and slobber running down my neck, hair all fucked up and wipe my mouth with the back of my arm and ask you if I did a good job and you cannot even speak because I’ve drained all of your energy out the tip of your dick….. That’s when I’m satisfied.

[joan-deactivated20230204]

i havent watched the show nor do i have much interest in doing so, but i really enjoy seeing the emerging teenage discourse around tadc go by, because its a constant experience of "wow is that what steven universe discourse looked like from the outside? thats crazy"

[rubysapphrald]

i have a mutual on here that for almost ten years in a row has set aside one week of the year in which he exclusively reblogs pictures of stairs, and while i remain intrigued by and supportive of it, in all this time, i have never been completely clear on why he does it

[dailymanners]

I'm not sure if some of Tumbler's user-base knows this, but you do know that if there is something you want to add to a post that's related to what they're talking about, you can do that without insulting them in the process.

I keep seeing comments and reblogs around Tumblr along the lines of "wow, all of those words and you didn't even bother to mention x 🙄".

The thing about replies like this that there's a strong insinuation that either x was left out intentionally and maliciously, or that the person writing the post is an idiot for not already knowing about and including x, or both. Either way wording it this way is an insult and a put-down to whoever wrote the post.

Maybe sometimes people didn't mention x for malicious reasons, but 9 times out of 10 that's not the case. Most of the time people either generally didn't know or weren't fully aware. Or maybe just genuinely forgot. Either way, it's not called for to insult and attack people who are total strangers to you on the internet.

And there really needs to be more emphasis on the whole "people on Tumblr are strangers to you", it's rarely called for to attack or insult strangers unprovoked. Say some of your new co-workers or classmates you haven't really gotten to know yet are talking about how your city is going to be getting rid of some of the bike paths, and one of them is talking about how this is bad for the environment. You (hopefully) wouldn't butt in and say "wow, all those words and you didn't even bother to mention how this affects lower class people who can't afford cars 🙄😒" and if you would actually do that, you seriously need to work on your boundaries because it's really inappropriate to just attack and insult people unprovoked like that.

Of course you could say something like "oh it's not just an environmental issue, this is really going to hurt lower class people who can't afford a car!". You can actually just add it in a neutral way like that without attacking or insulting anyone in the process for not already saying it.

People become more closed off and less receptive when you attack and insult them, btw. Even when you're saying something they'd otherwise agree with. In some cases I wouldn't count it against someone for attacking and insulting someone who is genuinely being cruel and malicious, sometimes it is called for and can be a form of self defense. But just over someone not knowing something or forgetting to mention something? What do you actually gain from that?

[littlethingwithfeathers]

Seconding this. Nothing makes me glaze over faster than an insult or a guilt trip ("Bet you'll just scroll right past this!" You're correct. After I hit the block button.) Here's some other things to try. "This list is awesome! Can I add XYZ thing?" Then go on to exuberantly explain the additional thing and why it's important. Add to the enthusiasm. Don't criticize. "Another important example of XYZ is This Thing (tm)!" "If you've not heard of XYZ, you should check it out! It would fit perfectly in this list." And if you really REALLY want to be helpful... a link or three would be awesome.

[buildarocketboys]

When you're googling Google for your Buffy fic to figure out whether the characters would be using Google in the summer of 2000 and then the Wikipedia entry for 'Google (verb)' includes this:

[hppjmxrgosg]

"going out to get milk" is a common turn of phrase used to describe a man abandoning his family.

the "milkman" is a common figure in stories depicting a woman's infidelity and adulterous affair.

this implies that the ability to provide milk would both decrease the likelihood of a man abandoning his wife and children, as it would eliminate the need for leaving to get milk AND would secure that man's marriage, as his wife would have no need to seek milk from an extraneous source.

therefore, all men should produce milk, through various means such as:

- being a cow

- being an almond

- being a woman

- being a coconut

- being in the omegaverse

- being an oat

(list is exemplary and not finite)

in this essay, i will redefine the nuclear family and explain the seductive and inflammatory nature of the 1993 "Got Milk?" commercials.

[thunderstruck9]

Noah Davis (American, 1983-2015), Delusions of Grandeur, 2007. Acrylic and gouache on canvas, 36 x 24 in.

[drchucktingle]

how incredible that we get to get to put our stamp on existence for these brief moments. what an honor

[moveslikekeithrichards]

i feel like some of us on here are treating "sometimes disorders can cause harmful behaviors" and "you are responsible for your actions" as mutually exclusive concepts

like, many disorders & disabilities notably affect behavior, communication, and relationships, as does stress, discomfort, and hardship in general, and we should give people a little grace when theyre going through a tough time. but also, if you repeatedly hurt the people who care about you and make no effort to apologize, or improve, or make up for it, or even just own up to it, those people are under no obligation to endure being treated badly

[batavias]

sometimes being a hater will make you feel like you're an intellectual and probably a secret genius because of how much other people around you are visibly not being a hater about the exact same things. maybe even later your haterism becomes justified and the tide of culture and conception shifts and you think see? see? I continuously outscale my peers in the brains department. but you have to understand that being a hater is often a deliriant. it makes you feel smart on occasion in the same way huffing glue may make you think you're god. there's a fine balance here we must all take into account

[dirtyriver]

Concrete: Stars Over Sand #1, by Paul Chadwick

[traincat]

when I was going through my Spider-Man newspaper strips folder I was like, wow, I forgot Peter's halfway open shirt era.

[jimhensonreject]

[vidibit]

What's your favourite ridiculous piece of 90s technology?

Thank you so much for the excellent question!! I've been meaning to answer this one for a while, so here goes.

My favourite ridiculous piece of 90s technology is PocketMail! It wasn't that ridiculous at the time, but it's definitely something that could have only existed in the late 1990s / early 2000s. I actually have a PocketMail device, an Oregon Scientific PM-32 that I found on the side of the road in a box full of broken landline telephones!

PocketMail devices were essentially very basic Personal Digital Assistants that allowed you to access your emails without having to use a computer with an internet connection! Here you can see the basic screen and buttons for composing, sending and receiving emails.

But remember, this thing doesn't have Wi-Fi - so how exactly can it access your emails? If you flip the device over, you'll see a strange little speaker thing that flips out...

That's an acoustic coupler! You had to hold the device up to the handset of a landline telephone! So if you had a PocketMail account (with a special email address ending in @pocketmail.com) and were away from your computer/office, you could simply dial the phone number for the PocketMail service on the nearest landline telephone, then hold the device up to the handset so that it can send and receive email data with the email server in the form of audio - and presto! You have just sent an angry last-minute email to your intern for neglecting to look after your Tamagotchi while you were on a business trip to sell Y2K survival kits.

But... what did it sound like? The phone service has long since been shut down after the rise of more capable and portable internet-connected devices, but if you press the little 'Mail' button on the top of the device, you can still hear the sounds of this poor, obsolete little thing trying to reach out and communicate in the only way it knows how to:

AUDIO WARNING: LOUD

Kind of creepy, isn't it?

[upstairsdownstairsandinbetween]

Kaleidoscope Kindergarten (Tanshui Kindergarten), Tianshui, China, 

Designed by SAKO Architects

[silvergrapefruits]

This is London • by Miroslav Sasek https://www.instagram.com/p/DZiASKWjsm5/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

[antchurch]

dad's on a blueberry budget work trip with jesus and he hasn't been home in a few days

[northwest-by-a-train]

Average British Fantasy Author of the 20th Century: Born in Hong Kong, raised in Singapore, Kingston and Oxford, he kissed his first girl at the tender age of 38. He spent 23 years obsessively writing notes for his epic masterwork, the Sword of Gormenlia series, with elements drawn from Indian mysticism, Arthurian mythos, Surrealist poetry, Victorian racism and Radical beliefs[?]. He died in Cyprus where he owned the world's most beautiful houseboat.

Average American Fantasy Author of the 20th Century: Born on the border between Ohio and Montana, Wizjeremiah VanderMcDercken, better known by his pseudonym John "Wizard" Whiteman, was raised in a ghost town and was the only citizen of his county who could read. At the age of 14, he stole a car and drove 30 hours straight to New York City to send his first story "The Alien was Really a Man" to Astounding Stories, for which he was paid a whopping 12$. A string of successes followed, including "The Man was Really a Robot" "The Alien was Really a Wizard" and "The Wizard is Really a Man When You Think About It". He harassed Samuel R. Delany for twelve years over a mild criticism of one of his now out-of-print novels. Died in Yonkers where he had a condo.

Average Canadian Fantasy Author of the 20th Century: Born just outside of Toronto

Average French Fantasy Author of the 20th Century: Despite publishing over 170 novels over a period of fifty years, no one outside of France, or indeed within France, knows who Jean Messac is. Left on the steps of a convent in the south of France, he soon learned to hate the nuns, the books in the local library, Parisians, Americans, specifically the citizens of Syria, the Dominican Republic and Bulgaria, the French literary establishment, Regionalist writers, Sartre, De Gaulle, Casimir, anyone who appeared on TV, Radio, Newspapers and Photographs. He lived in a shoebox gifted to him as a joke from André Breton. He was a high school teacher and wrote for a variety of magazines and publishers, was institutionalized three times and was a Majdanek survivor. His books have all been translated in Russia and Japan following a popular JRPG adapting his saga "Pox-Children of the Kamchadals". He died in the same city where he spent his entire life at the age of 64.