Bisexual John Logan is my headcanon for the day

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@liqhtwxxd
Bisexual John Logan is my headcanon for the day
girl.. can i get some resentful exes with buck headcanons but he's only resentful because he never wanted to break up in the first place?? could be coworkers, we could be dating matt after the breakup etc. etc.. the floor is yours, love u 🌹❤️
thank you heather glenn for the gifs, all rights to gifs belong to the owner.
word count: 1,928
i think buck’s resentment would feel tangled up with guilt and longing and pride so badly that even he wouldn’t know where one emotion ends and the other begins. because in his mind, he never got to stop loving you. the relationship ended, but the feeling didn’t. you left, moved on, learned how to breathe without him, and meanwhile buck stayed behind carrying all that love alone until it curdled into something sharp around the edges.
and buck is exactly the kind of man who looks composed while quietly unraveling underneath it all but every interaction with you afterward would feel like tiny fractures splitting under the surface, controlled at first until they aren’t.
i think one of the most painful reasons for the breakup is he kept choosing work over you and the tragedy is that buck probably never even realized how bad it had gotten until it was already too late. because every promise sounded genuine when he made it.
''after this mission.'' ''after this week.'' ''after things calm down.''
but things never calmed down with buck cashman.
you kept adapting yourself around his absence while he kept assuming you’d survive it because you always had before. and buck, for all the ways he loved you, got too comfortable believing your patience was permanent. that’s what destroys him after the breakup. just you sitting there exhausted, emotionally worn thin in a way he couldn’t charm his way out of anymore.
“I love you, but I don’t fit anywhere in your life anymore.”
and GOD that sentence would haunt him. because deep down, he knows you were right. the worst part is that buck would’ve expected anger from you. anger he could defend himself against. but disappointment? quiet resignation? that leaves him with nowhere to hide. so afterward, he rewrites the relationship in his head constantly trying to find the exact moment he lost you. the exact assignment he should’ve declined. the exact night he should’ve stayed instead of leaving again.
and then you start dating matt murdock, oh that would feel like punishment crafted specifically for him. everything aside about how murdock was literally his boss' enemy, in this case his either, he hates the person that matt is.
matt makes time for you. matt listens when you talk. matt notices when you’re tired. matt gives you the kind of emotional steadiness buck always meant to offer but somehow kept failing to provide. matt matt matt matt...
and buck hates how quickly he notices the difference in you around him. you seem lighter. safer somehow and that realization fills him with this awful bitterness because part of him starts wondering if loving him was always exhausting for you.
he’d never say that directly, though. buck’s too proud for outright vulnerability when he’s hurting. instead it leaks out sideways through sarcastic little comments he regrets immediately afterward.
“murdock picking you up again?” little scoff. “guy ever sleep or does he just hover professionally?”
or worse— those quieter moments where the resentment sounds almost wounded instead of angry.
“funny how you suddenly have time now.” “you never laughed like that with me.” “guess he figured you out faster than i did.”
and he's saying all of this as if the fault was on you during your relationship... sigh
and i think another devastating possible reason for the breakup is the self-destruction thing because buck absolutely feels like someone who expects love to leave eventually. so instead of admitting fear, he creates distance first. every time something hurt him, he got colder, quieter, harder to reach.
and you kept trying. god, you tried.
but there’s only so many times a person can knock on someone’s walls before realizing they’re bleeding their hands raw for a door that never fully opens. eventually you stopped begging him to let you in because loving him started feeling like drowning beside him and buck hates that reason most of all because it makes you impossible to villainize.
he wants to be angry at you sometimes. genuinely. because anger would preserve his pride. but deep down he knows you didn’t leave to hurt him—you left because staying was hurting you and that truth eats him alive. especially because you still work together after.
there’s no clean break. no distance. he still hears your laugh down hallways. still notices your routines unconsciously. still knows when you skipped lunch or slept badly before anyone else does. loving you became muscle memory and now he’s trapped performing it silently every day.
so sometimes he starts taking assignments that keep him away for weeks because seeing you constantly without being allowed to love you openly anymore starts making him mean in ways he despises about himself. not violent nor cruel. just… petty. wounded. visibly unraveling.
he answers questions meant for matt before matt can if they ever share an environment, takes the seat next to you first without thinking, offers you his jacket automatically then spends the next hour irritated at himself for doing it.
and the emotional landmines... buck absolutely uses shared history against you sometimes without even meaning to.
inside jokes, songs from your relationship, phrases only the two of you understand... he wants to know if they still affect you because some desperate part of him needs proof he still exists somewhere inside your heart too. and the pathetic thing?
he starts dressing for you again after the breakup.
sharper suits, sleeves rolled just enough because you once admitted liking seeing his forearms, the specific cologne you used to lean closer for. not because he fully believes it’ll bring you back— but because he still wants you to look.
and buck notices every single time you do.
meanwhile matt stays calm through all of this, which honestly makes everything worse. buck wants a reason to hate him properly. wants matt to get possessive or insecure or angry back. but matt remains composed in a way that makes buck feel immature for unraveling publicly over someone who technically isn’t his anymore.
and i think that’s where the resentment mutates into grief most clearly: buck realizes another man learned how to love you better than he did. not more deeply, not more passionately just… better, more consistently, more gently in the ways that mattered long-term.
and buck can’t even fully resent matt for it because deep down he knows matt is giving you the exact things you begged buck for while you were together.
time, stability and presence. so instead of hatred, what’s left inside him is this horrible aching bitterness toward himself.
now... about buck trying to win you back is that he wouldn’t do it all at once. not some giant dramatic confession immediately, not flowers outside your apartment in the rain. at first, it would happen in these smaller, almost unconscious attempts to slide back into your life. like he’s trying to remind both of you what existing together used to feel like.
he starts lingering around you again. finding excuses to stay after meetings if you’re still there. walking beside you after work even if his car is parked the opposite direction. showing up with coffee he “accidentally ordered twice.” and he acts casual about all of it, but there’s this tension underneath him constantly now. like every interaction matters too much because buck knows he can still get your attention. what terrifies him is not knowing whether he can still reach your heart.
so he becomes hyperaware of every reaction you give him.
did you smile at that joke because it was genuinely funny, or because you were being polite? did your hand brush his on purpose or accidentally? are you quieter around him because you still care too much, or because you don’t anymore?
this man would ANALYZE everything and honestly? one of the first ways he’d try winning you back is by changing the exact behaviors that ruined the relationship in the first place— but quietly, not performatively. because buck knows promises mean nothing to you anymore. he made enough of those already.
so, he starts showing up consistently.
if he says he’ll be somewhere, he’s there early; if you ask for help, he actually follows through. he stops disappearing emotionally whenever things get difficult and the saddest part is that he probably wouldn’t even point out these changes directly because part of him feels ashamed it took losing you to finally become the person you needed.
like imagine you mentioning you’re overwhelmed with something and expecting the usual “i’ll try” from him, only for him to quietly say “what time should i be there?” simple and steady. no excuses attached.
and i think buck would start becoming gentler around your boundaries too. because before the breakup, he probably relied too heavily on the assumption that you’d forgive him eventually. afterward he realizes forgiveness is not guaranteed at all.
that's why so suddenly he’s careful with you, like painfully careful.
if you pull away, he lets you; if you need space, he gives it even though it visibly kills him; if you mention matt, he swallows the jealousy instead of immediately making some bitter remark. not perfectly, of course. he still slips sometimes because he’s buck and emotions leak out of him sideways when he’s hurting. but he genuinely tries and i think that effort would matter more to you than any grand romantic gesture ever could.
the jealousy would make him competitive in the most pathetic ways.
he’d start remembering things you mentioned months ago just to prove he listened, shows up with your favorite snack before matt even realizes you were craving it, fixes things around your apartment (considering you tried to stay friends with him and he, slightly, abuses this little treat) without being asked because “it was bothering me.” and every single action carries this unspoken desperation underneath it.
''i can still take care of you. please let me still take care of you.''
buck wouldn’t really know how to verbally ask for another chance at first because then he’d have to fully confront the possibility of rejection so instead he starts rebuilding intimacy through familiarity. standing too close again, letting silence settle comfortably between you, making you laugh until you accidentally forget you’re supposed to be distant from him now...
those moments would destroy him afterward because they give him hope. especially when he catches you looking at him the old way for a second before you remember yourself. he’d live off those moments for weeks.
and eventually, eventually, the sincerity starts cracking through his pride because buck can only hide behind charm for so long when he’s genuinely devastated.
so one night after too many almost-conversations and too many swallowed feelings, he finally says something honest. not polished. not smooth. just raw enough to hurt.
“i know i made you tired.”
and you go quiet immediately because that’s it. that’s the wound. then softer, “but i swear to god, losing you was the first thing painful enough to make me understand what i was doing.”
and i honestly think what makes his attempts to win you back so heartbreaking is that buck never acts like you owe him another chance. he wants one desperately, yes. probably more than his pride can survive. but underneath all the jealousy and resentment and grief, he knows why you left. so every step toward you afterward feels careful. earned. almost reverent.
like he’s trying to prove that if you placed your heart in his hands one more time, he finally understands how not to drop it.
★
Taglist: @itsneversirius @not-the-teen-witch @mahumf9 @itsdynotdaddy @gh0st-quart3t @giuliahowlett @sotragedynut @vcmpirus @avocad0ess @fiiorii @fancyghosttrashhero-blog @kdelarenta
bleed for attention
Not My Type.
Pairing: Buck Cashman x fem!reader
Word count: 8.3K
Warnings: No warnings!! Except for subtle swear words.
Context: Teasing, making out, slight chocking if you squint.
Summary: Buck Cashman is teasing you nonstop for days as revenge of you calling him he's not your type.
Author Note: This was the first draft that made me start to write for Buck Cashman and you guys don't know how happy I am that it ended. I was thinking about writing smut in the end but it didn't feel like it and I hope you enjoy this long piece!
Taglist: @itsneversirius @not-the-teen-witch @mahumf9 @itsdynotdaddy @gh0st-quart3t
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
“No offense, but you’re not really my type.”
The words that left your lips caused a brief pause in the small, private room of one of your newest friends, Daniel Blake. There was a small smile on your face, your lips pressed together in an apologetic way as your eyes locked onto Buck Cashman, who was looking at you in a rather… puzzled and caught-off-guard manner.
It had become a ritual these past few days for you to meet with Daniel during your lunch breaks. He was the only one in City Hall close to your age, and the two of you had bonded rather quickly. It was one of those rather sunny Mondays where everyone felt the drag of a new week. You loved talking with Daniel—he seemed like a total sweetheart, and you never felt awkward during conversations, as he always made things easier.
And then there was his other friend, whom you weren’t very familiar with. A tall brunette man with a rather serious expression whenever you saw him with Mayor Fisk. You were pretty sure you had never seen him alone before, to be honest—until today, when he joined you both for lunch, or rather, was forced into it by Daniel, who was desperately trying to set the two of you up.
That’s how the conversation evolved—between bites of your hot dogs, you sitting on the chair next to Daniel at a respectful distance, and Buck perched on the edge of Daniel’s desk, only half of him resting on it. One leg was slightly raised, just enough for his neat, meticulously ironed trousers to ride up, revealing the strip of skin above where his black sock ended.
It was Daniel who did most of the talking, while you were more reserved in the presence of someone new—not exactly shy like a teenager, but carrying that quiet introversion of meeting someone you’ve seen often yet never properly spoken to. Still, with Daniel’s help, you were slowly stepping out of your comfort zone—until he commented on how cute of a couple you and Buck would be.
Your answer came out impulsively, in a moment of vulnerability, meant to joke and ease the atmosphere into something more lighthearted. Buck tilted his head slightly to the side. He didn’t look offended—not at all—but rather intrigued.
“Am I not?” he asked. His thick accent was present even in the three words he rolled so smoothly off his tongue. The weight in his gaze stole your breath for a moment. You weren’t afraid—just affected by the intensity of those brown eyes, as if they could see straight through you, reaching the deepest, darkest parts of yourself that you couldn’t even acknowledge.
Without waiting for your answer, the left side of his lips curled upward, amused. The very prominent dimple of his—even without a full smile—became more pronounced as he spoke.
“Who’s your type exactly, if I may ask?” he said, crossing his arms over his chest as the tip of his tongue traced the curve of his upper lip for a brief second. His head remained tilted to the side, as if he were deeply invested in your answer.
You had known this man for barely twenty minutes—which only reminded you how little time you had left before your boss, Sheila, would inevitably intrude to remind you to get back to work—and yet he had already left an impression on your thoughts, even if you claimed he wasn’t your type.
“Um…” you hummed, your fingers finding the edge of your skirt as you tugged it down nervously. Being asked a question you weren’t sure how to answer made you hesitate. You took a deep breath, glancing around the room before your gaze landed on Daniel, who seemed far more entertained than he should have been, his fingers playing with his lower lip as his elbow rested on the arm of his chair.
“I don’t know. Maybe someone like Matt Murdock?” you said, the first name that came to mind, shrugging lightly. You sensed a sudden shift in the room, a faint coldness you couldn’t quite explain. “I mean, he saved Mayor Fisk from getting shot, right? He seems like a decent person.”
Your explanation didn’t quite land with either of them. Daniel let out a nervous chuckle, glancing between you and Buck, while Buck himself looked completely unfazed, an easygoing smirk settling on his lips.
“Indeed,” Buck replied. Something flickered in his eyes, though you couldn’t quite name it. “But is he actually your type, or do you simply have a fondness for heroic acts?” he asked.
You had just opened your mouth to respond when the door to Daniel’s office was knocked on rather impatiently a few times before opening. Sheila Rivera stepped inside, her expression tight with impatience. She called your name in a warning tone.
You rose from your seat, quietly grateful for the interruption as you offered a polite smile.
“I believe in the power of action,” you said, before adding a soft, “Gentlemen,” as you crumpled the napkin that had rested on your lap—spread there to keep your skirt clean while eating—and tossed it into the bin beneath the desk. “It was a nice conversation. A pleasure meeting you again, Mr. Cashman.”
Buck, ever the well-mannered man, was already on his feet the moment Mrs. Rivera entered the room. He extended his hand for a handshake before you could.
A warmth rose from your chest to your neck as you placed your hand in his. For a moment, you couldn’t help but notice that no matter how large your own hand might have seemed, his was large enough to make yours feel small as his fingers wrapped around it. The contact lasted no more than two seconds, but you registered how soft his hands were—for a man, at least—and how warm his palm felt, noticeably warmer than your own.
You left the room with your heart beating rapidly, and the brunette man watched the spot where you had disappeared for a few lingering seconds. Even if he hated to admit it, he enjoyed how the scent of your perfume still lingered in the air, how your hair had bounced softly with every step as you walked away. It was Daniel’s muffled giggle that finally pulled him out of that brief trance.
He wasn’t exactly pissed off, but your words had dealt a small blow to his ego. And the way the young man sat there in his chair, wearing a wicked yet boyish smile as if it were all terribly amusing, irritated him in the most peculiar way.
“Shut up, Daniel,” he said, a subtle smirk woven into his voice.
His tongue ran along the surface of his teeth as he slipped his hands into his pockets, his gaze drifting back to the door you had just walked through. His lips pressed together slightly—a quiet tell of the thoughts beginning to take shape in his mind, and of what he intended to do next.
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
It was Tuesday. After the lunch break you couldn’t have with Daniel—or even Buck, whom you couldn’t quite get out of your head for the rest of yesterday evening—things felt oddly quiet. He hadn’t been at City Hall, out with Mayor Fisk for the upcoming public announcements, trying to repair his reputation after the smear campaigns circulating online.
You sat at your small desk in the corner of the office you shared with Mrs. Rivera as her assistant. The room was empty; she was out with the mayor as well. It was usually quiet like this anyway, leaving you to handle most of the paperwork for your boss, who reviewed everything before submitting it to the big boss—Mayor Fisk himself.
The work was stressful. There was no room for mistakes, no allowance for anything less than perfect, and that constant pressure rested heavily on your shoulders. But at the moment, you weren’t doing any of that.
You had been given a new assignment—one that pulled you away from routine entirely. You were to find the person who had leaked footage of Daredevil to The Northern Star. There wasn’t much to go on beyond access logs: reviewing everyone’s computer data, tracing inputs and outputs, and checking for any undeclared external device activity.
You heard voices outside, realizing people were returning to City Hall. The door to your office opened, and two figures stepped inside. One was Sheila. And the other—
“I heard you were looking for the leak,” Buck said, his gaze fixed directly on you as he began walking in your direction.
Sheila walked over to her desk, gathering a few paper files from the surface before slipping them into her bag. She took her coat from the hanger and turned to you before you could properly focus on the man now standing behind your desk—right next to you—as he looked down at your computer screen.
“I’m calling it a day,” she said, then spoke your name as she slipped on her long wool coat. “You can leave whenever you want. That’s all for today.” She pulled her hair free from the neckline of her coat before glancing toward the tall man beside your chair.
“See you tomorrow, Mr. Cashman. Don’t keep my assistant under surveillance,” she added, her tone edged with snark.
A small smile settled on his lips, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes, as you said your goodbyes to Mrs. Rivera.
The second the door closed, Buck moved. He stepped closer, towering over you, both hands planted on the surface of your desk, effectively caging you into the small space. You could barely reach your keyboard and mouse without brushing against his arms.
“Let’s see what you’ve found so far,” he murmured, his voice low, resonant from deep in his chest. His chin barely brushed the hair at your temple as he leaned in, his head tilted just slightly downward.
For a moment, you forgot everything. Your breath hitched as the warmth from his body seeped through his jacket and crisp white shirt, even without him fully touching you. The proximity was overwhelming, his scent wrapping around you like a thick haze. His cologne blended with the freshness of aftershave—something he likely used daily, judging by the faint shadow of his beard against his skin, like a permanent trace.
You swallowed, feeling as though minutes had passed, even though it had only been a few rapid heartbeats. Clearing your throat softly, you reached for the mouse.
A quiet hum left your lips as your tongue brushed over them for a brief second. Your arm grazed his as you guided the cursor across the screen, explaining everything you had found so far, your voice carefully steady despite the effect he had on you. He listened.
Every so often, he responded with a low hum—subtle vibrations from his chest that signaled his approval.
At one point, his hand slid over yours where it rested on the mouse. Without hesitation, he guided it across the screen, clicking open a file as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Your whole body felt like it was on fire, a heat burning under your skin for no clear reason, which only made you panic internally even more. What was wrong with him? He could have simply asked you to open the file—or at the very least, gently nudged your hand aside—but no. He chose to cover your hand with his—larger, warmer—and then, as if that wasn’t enough, he left it there for no reason at all.
You tilted your head slightly, just enough to catch a glimpse of his face and the way his eyes were fixed on the screen. His bottom lip was caught between his teeth as his gaze moved across the lines of text, and you were suddenly, acutely aware of his scent—stronger now, drifting from his neck and filling your senses completely.
Your teeth clenched as you swallowed hard, your grip tightening ever so slightly—on the mouse, on your lap, on anything that might ground you.
When he finally looked down at you, a flicker of panic surged through you at the thought that he might notice your state—but instead, he acted as if nothing had happened.
“Well done,” he said, then spoke your name—instead of the usual “Miss” followed by your surname. The hand that had been resting over yours lifted, only to come to rest briefly atop your head, giving you a soft, almost absentminded pat.
With his face so close, you could feel the cool brush of his breath against your chin. And if you had been breathing normally, you were certain he would have felt yours just as clearly.
“I’ll let HR know about your hard work.”
Then he stepped back. Just like that, he gave you space—adjusting the cuffs of his sleeves as if nothing unusual had happened—before turning and walking away, leaving you alone with a restless mind and unsteady breath.
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
Wednesday was the day where things started to get hard both in the city-hall and in her own mind. She was constantly lost in thought, thinking about him and it made her heart beat differently that made her sigh every few seconds as she felt sorry for herself. Has it really been that while for her to get effected by a few minutes of proximity where nothing really even happened.
You were going up and down in the building, mostly using stairs instead of elevator as it was pretty occupied all the time and she didn’t want to stop moving in order to not think too much. But everywhere she went, she saw a glimpse of him somehow and she wasn’t sure if it was coincidence or not anymore.
He was there in the file room, when you went there to grab something. He was on the cafeteria when you got yourself a coffee, you saw him almost everywhere but near Fisk which was odd on its own.
It was late in the afternoon, when you had just stepped out of one of the smaller meeting rooms down the corridor, a folder tucked under your arm and your mind still half-occupied with the notes you had taken. The hallway was quieter than usual— most people were either in meetings or lingering near the main offices, and for once, you allowed yourself to walk without watching every step.
That was your first mistake.
You turned the corner too quickly. And ran straight into something solid— or rather, someone. The impact knocked the air out of you for a second, your balance tipping forward before a pair of hands caught you firmly by your arms, steadying you before you could even think to react.
“Careful.”
His voice came low, controlled, right above you.
You froze. Your fingers tightened around the folder as your breath stalled somewhere in your throat, your eyes lifting—slowly, cautiously—only to meet his. Buck. You could swear you never met someone with eyes like his as if it was a dark hole and you were caught in its orbit, pulled into it without putting up a fight with the knowledge of it was useless.
Of course it was him of all people you’d run into.
His hands were still on you, not loosely, not as if he had just caught you and was about to let go. It was firm, grounding even as his thumbs pressed just enough into your sleeves to remind you exactly where he held you.
You swallowed, your pulse suddenly loud in your ears.
“Sorry, I didn’t see you.’’ you started, but your voice came out thinner than you intended and that cause you to frown at yourself internally.
“I gathered that.” he replied, almost mildly but he didn’t move, didn’t step back and definitely didn’t release you.
Your back was dangerously close to the wall now— close enough that if you leaned even an inch, you’d be pinned between it and him. And he… he was too close. Close enough that you could see the faint shadow of stubble along his jaw, the way his gaze lingered not just on your face—but on you, like he was assessing something you couldn’t quite name.
Your breathing betrayed you first, it was too shallow and quick. His eyes flickered just slightly, noticing the state of you and enjoying it without letting you know.
“Rushing somewhere?” he asked, quieter now.
You shook your head, a little too fast. “No, I was just heading back to—”
His grip shifted, not tighter but not gone either. One hand slid just slightly, adjusting its hold as if to steady you better—though you were already perfectly still as if he just wanted an excuse to have the pleasure of keeping your words at bay.
“Then slow down,” he murmured, your stomach twisted at the tone alone. For a second—just a second—you thought he might lean closer but his gaze held yours a moment longer before he finally, finally let go. The absence of his hands felt just as noticeable as their presence had and he stepped back as if nothing had happened, straightening his cuffs with practiced ease.
“Try not to injure yourself in the hallway,” he added, almost dryly. And then he walked past you. Leaving you standing there, back nearly against the wall, heart beating far too fast for something that had lasted only seconds and it brought a sense of déjà vu that left you completely fucked in the head.
By the time evening settled in, most of the building had begun to empty. The steady noise of the day faded into something quieter, hollower—footsteps echoing farther, voices fewer and more distant when you were getting ready to leave. Sheila was there with you in the office, telling you which files should be ready by tomorrow morning and all the boring things that you took a note on the small notebook of yours that you brought with yourself everywhere.
‘’Leaving already?’’ the voice came from the already parted door of the room; your head snapped to the owner of that voice that haunted your mind endlessly and he took a look at you for split second before handing Mrs. Rivera something that you didn’t see, as you looked away.
You checked your desk instead, it was finally cleared, your tasks completed for the day with the kind of precision that left no room for correction. You exhaled softly, reaching for your coat draped over the opposite side of the room and you moved to brush passed by him in a few steps. Seeing where you were headed, he moved on first and grabbed your coat before you.
Your hands paused mid-motion, fingers still caught in the lining of your sleeve as his warmth approached your back with your coat in his hands.
“Hold still.” The words were low, near your ear as your breath hitched. His hands came into view a second later —large, precise— as they reached for the collar of your coat. He adjusted it with careful, deliberate movements, smoothing the fabric down over your shoulders like it had been bothering him personally as he helped you get into your own coat like it was so casual.
You didn’t move, couldn’t really as every nerve in your body felt suddenly aware and you felt embarrassed with the possibility of Mrs. Rivera taking this gesture in a rather different way.
“You missed this,” he added quietly as his fingers brushed the back of your neck just barely but enough for your spine to be straightened instinctively, a sharp inhale catching in your chest as the sensation lingered far longer than it should have.
He didn’t rush, didn’t step away immediately but instead, his hands remained there for a moment— resting lightly at your shoulders, as if testing whether you’d move.
You didn’t, you weren’t even sure if you could as your grip tightened on the front of your coat when you stared ahead, pulse climbing again, that same heat from earlier creeping back under your skin.
Then—just as suddenly—
He stepped back and the absence of him hit you all over again.
“There,” he said, tone returning to something more neutral, as if he had simply corrected a minor detail. “Presentable.”
You turned slightly, not fully facing him with a composure thinner than you liked.
“Thank you,” you managed, quieter than intended and his gaze lingered enough for you to feel it even without looking directly.
“Mm.”
A pause.
Then, almost as an afterthought—
“Try not to run into anyone on your way out.”
Your stomach dropped at the faint edge in his voice.
And before you could even think of a response, he was already moving past you, just like before—controlled, composed, leaving nothing behind but the echo of his presence and the lingering weight of his touch as he bid good evenings to Mrs. Rivera.
The hallway felt colder when you finally stepped into it.
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
Wednesday morning was rather difficult for you, mostly due to the lack of sleep you had gotten the night before. You had spent hours tossing and turning, his image etched into your mind like something carved in stone. His scent lingered in your memory—intoxicating, heavy, yet never unpleasant or suffocating. It suited him far too well, and you found yourself irritated at how much you had dwelled on it, to the point of losing sleep.
The middle of the week was always one of the busiest times, second only to Monday, which bore the weight of the weekend’s backlog. Wednesdays rarely allowed you to remain seated; instead, you spent most of the day moving up and down the stairs, carrying files that needed to be corrected, signed, or reprinted before they could be presented to the mayor by the end of the week. From there, he would approve or reject them over the weekend—and then the cycle would begin again.
The lack of sleep had gifted you a dull but persistent headache. Still, you refused to take any painkillers, stubbornly denying yourself even that small relief, as if it were some kind of punishment for the thoughts you had entertained. In a way, the discomfort helped—it distracted you, kept your mind from drifting back to him too often. But by the time lunch came and went—missed entirely due to the workload—the ache had worsened, doubling in intensity. You silently cursed yourself for not taking the pills earlier; now, it felt far too late, and you found yourself wishing you had listened to Daniel.
Distracted, irritated, and slightly dazed, you stepped into the elevator for what felt like the hundredth time that day. The weight of your work kept your thoughts occupied—until you heard a familiar voice to your left.
“You seem distressed.”
The thick, heavy accent in his voice startled you. Your eyes widened as you turned toward him, clutching the file to your chest a little tighter. The sudden movement let in more light, sending a sharp spike of pain through your head. You groaned softly, tilting your head back against the mirrored wall of the elevator, eyes closing.
“And you seem way too fine,” you murmured.
Silence settled in the elevator. You didn’t immediately realize the double meaning of your words—not until the elevator chimed and came to a stop.
Your eyes snapped open, a flicker of panic crossing your face as you looked at him. He was already stepping out, a pleased smirk tugging at his lips, his dimples deepening in a way that felt almost permanent. He turned just slightly, now standing outside the elevator with his hands tucked into his pockets, his gaze fixed on you—something dangerously amused flickering in his expression.
“I didn’t mean—”
“A thank you would be sufficient, I hope,” he interrupted smoothly, his eyes trailing over your flushed, slightly feverish face as the doors began to close. “You look fine yourself as well.”
A dumbfounded look settled on your face as you let out a quiet groan, dragging a hand over it in frustration. After everything you had already gone through that day, did he really have to mess with your head again by calling you fine?
You glanced at your reflection in the metal surface of the elevator from the corner of your eye. You were certain you looked nothing close to fine—yet his words still left you feeling oddly giddy, enough that the hint of a smile threatened to form on your lips.
You stepped out of the elevator and made your way to the file room—a space noticeably colder than the rest of the building. You had a stack of papers to stamp before getting them signed by the supervisor.
Quiet. Isolated.
Only the soft rustle of paper and the dull, repetitive sound of the stamp hitting the surface filled the room as you worked through the documents, slightly hunched over a desk that never quite matched your height.
A few minutes passed before the heavy door opened as if it weighed nothing.
You tilted your head back—and there he was. The current source of your unrest. The sight of him made your heart leap, only to drop straight into your stomach.
“You should listen to people more, you know,” he said.
That was when you noticed the bottle of water in his hand. He stepped closer, unscrewing the cap before holding it out to you.
“I heard from Daniel that you refused to take painkillers,” he added, as if explaining the confusion written across your face.
You took the bottle from him, but before you could pull your hand away, his other hand came up and wrapped lightly around your wrist—as if you might spill it, though your grip was steady despite the way your heart trembled.
“I like to test my limits,” you murmured, almost teasing.
A faint smirk flickered across his face for a split second—one you didn’t quite catch, your attention instead drawn to the small pill still wrapped in its foil. He popped it free himself.
You lifted your palm, expecting him to drop it there—but instead, the back of his fingers brushed your hand aside.
His fingers curled loosely around your wrist, then traced upward, grazing along your arm over the thin fabric of your shirt, stopping just above your elbow. His touch was slow, deliberate.
“Open your mouth,” he said, his voice low, steady.
Your stomach tightened.
You didn’t even pause to question it—didn’t stop to wonder why you were obeying now, after refusing all day. Why you were letting him do this. Why you weren’t pulling away.
You should have questioned it. You should have refused.
But you didn’t.
You were letting him.
With a flutter of your eyelashes that met his gaze without breaking eye contact, you parted your lips slightly wider. Somewhere in the back of your mind, a distracted thought flickered—if he had nothing better to do, like handling whatever questionable matters Mayor Fisk kept buried, things you had no desire to dig into or understand.
But the intensity in his eyes told you otherwise. It was as if nothing in the world mattered more in that moment than making you swallow the pill. The pill, of course.
The small white tablet held between his fingers moved closer to your lips, and nothing about this situation felt remotely normal. A faint, uneasy thought crossed your mind—you might cringe later if you let yourself think too deeply about it.
And yet, at that moment, you felt strangely suspended in it, almost mesmerized. Too aware of him, too aware of yourself, too aware of the space between his hand and your mouth. It left you slightly breathless in a way you didn’t want to examine too closely. You let him do it without question, which you knew—some distant, rational part of you insisted—was dangerous.
But that was a thought for later.
Your mind went briefly blank the second his fingers brushed your lips, warm and steady, as he placed the pill inside your mouth. The contact alone made something in your chest tighten unexpectedly, a small, betraying fluster rising up your neck before you could stop it.
You almost forgot to drink the water when his hand at your elbow guided your own upward, bringing the bottle closer as he spoke again—his tone no longer casual, but controlled, deliberate.
“Swallow.”
And you did. The pill went down.
“See? That wasn’t so hard,” he said, his hand withdrawing as he tilted his head slightly, studying you with an assessing gaze. “Taking care of yourself. Isn’t it?”
You nodded, quickly looking away as you handed the water bottle back to him. The heat in your face lingered longer than you wanted it to. “I doubt it will help at all, but—thank you.”
He closed the bottle and set it beside the files you had been working on, as you continued, quieter now—less steady than you intended.
“I didn’t mean what I said… back in the elevator, I mean.”
He was inspecting the files, his fingers still hovering over the edge of the pages as he pursed his lips in thought when you spoke. You were facing his broad back, his posture slightly strained as he leaned over your desk. His suit jacket was doing its job—perfectly tailored, perfectly put together.
“I know,” he said.
The words eased your wandering thoughts for a brief moment. You exhaled softly—but that relief didn’t last.
“I did, though.”
Buck looked at you over his shoulder, the line of his black suit jacket framing the movement as he studied you for a second before turning away again. Then, as if nothing significant had happened at all, he walked toward the door.
You watched him go, your expression tightening with something unsettled—almost frustration, almost confusion. For a split second, irritation flared in your chest, sharp and uninvited.
What you didn’t see was the way he subtly adjusted the contents of his pocket as he left—the crumpled aluminum wrapping from the pill still caught between his fingers for a moment before he tucked it away, the same fingers that had just brushed your lips.
A faint, satisfied smirk tugged at his mouth as he walked.
You weren’t pushing back. Not really.
And that, he thought, was useful.
That evening, when you returned to the house you shared with two other people—because, well, rent was far too high for a two-room apartment to survive alone—you were fuming.
Mostly at yourself. For letting your guard down so easily with a man you had only met that Monday. It wasn’t clever, and you hated how you had come across. The uncertainty gnawed at you—whether he had formed the wrong impression of you, whether he thought you were easy.
You shook your head as you let your hair down and shrugged off your jacket. Why should his opinion matter anyway? He could think whatever he wanted. What mattered was how you felt about yourself—and right now, you needed a mental reset.
You dropped onto your bed, your button-up already discarded on the floor along with your skirt, not bothering to change properly before showering. You stared up at the popcorn ceiling, trying to clear your mind.
But it didn’t work.
The memory of his fingers lingered—how they had felt against your skin, how his presence had filled the room so completely it seemed to press against you from all sides. The way he had leaned in, close enough that his chin brushed your temple. The way his hand had covered yours, grounding it, controlling it, as if it belonged there.
And worse—the scent of him. Still vivid. Still too close in your memory.
God, you were losing it.
You had never wanted someone like this before, and the realization alone made your stomach tighten unpleasantly. You let out a frustrated groan, kicking the mattress beneath you.
It was attraction. Clearly. But not just because of how he looked. It was the way he carried himself, the control in his movements, the quiet certainty in his presence—and those stupid brown eyes you couldn’t stop thinking about, the ones you irrationally wanted to see undone, wrecked of all composure.
And that was worse than a simple crush because this wasn’t just emotional anymore. It was physical and that made it harder to ignore than anything else.
˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗
On Friday, you went back to work with a determined mindset of ignoring him as much as you could. You were faced with your desire to ruin that man and make him break under the amount of pleasure you were denying him, but you realized you couldn’t do that at all. It was a true disappointment, really. Especially when your mind went south every second you didn’t distract yourself.
Every time your thoughts slipped—every time your mind wandered even for a second—it went right back to him. Not to the frustration, not to the irritation, but to the other thing. The one you refused to name properly. The one that sat low in your stomach and twisted every time you remembered the way he looked at you, the way he spoke to you, the way he touched you like it meant nothing and everything at the same time.
You hated it. Hated how your mind betrayed you, hated how your body followed. You wanted to ruin him for it. Strip that composure off his face, make him lose the control he carried so effortlessly. Deny him whatever game he thought he was playing with you and see how long he could keep that same calm tone, that same unreadable expression.
But you couldn’t. And that—more than anything—was the real frustration. Because no matter how much you tried to twist it in your favor, you knew it wasn’t you in control here, not even close. And the thought of it kept you on edge, because that was unacceptable. You would not obey and submit to him just because he felt like it and then leave you standing there like nothing had happened. Even if you had in the past, you wouldn’t do it anymore.
The tension in your shoulders was heavy; you spent the day moving between carrying stacks of files and your desk, keeping yourself busy—your mind, your hands, anything. And you were in a rather good mood, because Mayor Fisk would be out of town—as far as you knew—and that meant Mr. Cashman wouldn’t be around either. At least it kept him out of your head for a few minutes at a time. The thought alone made your mood lighter. Not good or relaxed, but manageable.
With a bag containing your lunch in hand, you made your way to Daniel’s office. It had been a busy week for him as well, with all the fuss about finding the mole, and you hadn’t been able to catch up for a few days. And to be fair, you had tried your best to avoid sharing space with the man who kept you on edge, unconsciously, and you missed that normalcy more than you cared to admit. Something simple, something unaffected, something that didn’t come with tension sitting under your skin.
You stopped. A sharp inhale caught in your throat, your body going rigid at the sight in front of you. Him?
You knocked lightly before pushing the door open—
“I brought the—”
“What are you doing here—?” you asked, clearing your throat a little too sharply as you stood in the doorway with the paper bag still in your hand.
His eyebrows lifted slightly, as if calculating the audacity of your question about his presence.
“I believe I do work here,” he said, then added your name as he took a few slow, unhurried steps closer, hands in his pockets. He stopped in the middle of the room, his eyes moving over you without shame.
After yesterday—when he’d gotten the green light, he seemed to be waiting for—there was something different in the way he looked at you now, as if he had already learned something about you over the past few days. Something he wasn’t supposed to know yet.
“I thought you’d be out of town—with the mayor,” you said, stepping inside quickly and skirting around him before he could close the distance. You placed the bag on Daniel’s desk, putting something—anything—between you.
“You thought of me?” he said. The shift in his tone was immediate—lighter, sharper, and playful in a way that made your teeth clench.
You turned back to him, irritation flaring faster this time.
“No, that’s not what I—why are you always twisting my words?” you said, flustered and frustrated as you looked back at him. Your eyebrows knitted together as you forced a deep breath.
You were standing just as he was, your posture a little more rigid than his, your eyes locked on him as the subtle movement at the corner of his mouth deepened, his dimples sinking into that smooth skin of his.
“I do not,” he said, tilting his head slightly. “You seem a bit tense today.”
“I am not,” you said, your words betraying you after his earlier comment, and you hated how easily you fell into keeping up with him. You sighed, fingers brushing through your hair as the heat in the room felt even more unbearable with the frustration building inside you. “Where is Daniel?” you asked.
“Not here,” he said. That made you roll your eyes.
“Yeah, no way,” you muttered, taking off your jacket and dropping it onto the desk beside the brown paper bag you had been so eager to eat from moments ago. Now your stomach felt tight for an entirely different reason.
You moved toward the door again—quick, decisive—because you weren’t doing this. Not today. Not ever again.
But this time, he didn’t let you pass. His hand caught your elbow, firm enough to stop you mid-step, pulling you back just enough that your balance shifted—and suddenly you were too close.
Your breath hitched as your chest brushed his, the contact brief but enough to send heat rushing through you, making your frustration spike even higher.
“That was disrespectful,” he said, his voice low as his gaze moved over your face. And for a moment—just a moment—you almost gave in to his charm, almost forgot why you were angry. But it came back just as quickly, sharper and stronger.
“You know what is disrespectful?” you said, your chest rising and falling with a sudden heat of confrontation. “This game you’re playing.”
“I am not quite sure of your implication.”
“Don’t,” you cut in, shaking your head slightly. “Don’t play dumb with me, Cashman. Until Monday we didn’t even know each other, and now it’s like you’ve made it your personal mission to—what? Linger? Hover? Touch whenever you feel like it?”
“Why would I do that when I know I’m not your type at all,” he said—and something in his tone shifted. The teasing you were used to thinned out, replaced by something sharper.
Your lips parted, a soft scoff caught between a laugh and surprise as they curved upward slightly.
Oh.
So that was it.
A slow breath left you, your tongue pressing briefly against the inside of your cheek as your eyes stayed locked on his—really looking at him this time. Not avoiding, not dodging.
“You’re unbelievable,” you muttered, though there was no real bite to it—just heat and frustration, with something dangerously close to amusement creeping in where irritation had been. Your head tilted slightly as you mirrored him.
“You’ve been doing all of this…” you gestured vaguely between the two of you, stepping closer instead of away, closing the space yourself “…because I said you’re not my type?”
It was your turn to take in the moment now, even if you were still irritated that he had been toying with you. The tension between you burned louder than anything else.
He didn’t step back—because of course he wouldn’t. His gaze dropped briefly to your lips, just for a second, but you caught it this time and didn’t let it pass.
“That bothered you that much?” you pressed, your voice softer now, almost coaxing.
“It did not.”
“It did,” you shot back immediately—but you didn’t step away, didn’t break eye contact, and if anything, you stepped closer.
Close enough now that the air shifted, and you could feel the warmth of him without touching. Your pulse picked up, but you didn’t retreat, because you saw the way his lips parted slightly—and how he swallowed tightly afterward.
Your hand moved lightly and deliberately before you could overthink it, fingers catching the front of his tie just enough to keep him there, this close.
“You want me to want you,” you said, not as a question but as a statement.
Your grip tightened slightly—not enough to wrinkle the fabric, but enough to make the gesture intentional.
“And that’s the game, isn’t it?”
“You said you believe in the power of act,” he said, his voice a low murmur. “I merely followed it.”
Silence stretched between you, thick, heavy, and charged as your breaths mingled. His eyes dropped again—slower this time—taking in the way your hand held him, the way you hadn’t stepped away, the way you were the one closing the distance now. And for the first time, he didn’t look entirely in control.
That realization sent something sharp through you. Something bold and reckless enough to make your thoughts scatter.
Your breath hitched as you pulled him a fraction closer—not enough to crash into him, just enough to erase the last inch of space—before you crashed your lips against his. A muffled sound escaped him, and you moved with him as you took a step forward, pressing him back against the wall.
This was reckless. Dangerous. Anyone could walk in, could see the state of you, and how his hands couldn’t stay still—one at your waist, the other sliding upward until it tangled in your hair, pulling just enough to make you gasp.
One of your hands was still gripping his tie, now wrapped around your wrist as you tried to hold onto control after days of being toyed with. That frustration made your other hand move to his neck, fingers pressing lightly at the sides of his windpipes just enough to make him light-headed as you nibbled at his lip, earning a low, breathy sound that you swallowed eagerly before pulling back just enough to meet his eyes.
But he was impatient.
With a shift of his arm around your waist, he turned you, pinning you against the wall instead—this time with you trapped beneath him.
“Are you aware what kind of self-control it took for me to not cram you into places where no one could hear you?” he said, his voice slightly unsteady, his lips glossy from your kisses. He looked desperate—on the verge of snapping, of asking for more. His head dipped, helpless in a way that made it clear how much he wanted you, and you could feel it in the way he breathed you in.
His lips pressed just under your ear, against the tender skin, leaving an open-mouthed kiss that made your back arch slightly against the wall despite yourself.
Your fingers tightened around his tie instinctively.
His breath was warm—too warm—spilling across your skin as he lingered there, not rushing, not taking more than he already had. And somehow, that restraint made everything worse. Made you worse.
A shaky exhale slipped past your lips, your grip on his throat loosening just enough to slide down to his collar instead, bunching the fabric between your fingers as you tilted your head back against the wall.
“You’re the one who started this,” you murmured, though your voice lacked the bite it had earlier—softer now, pulled thin by how close he was, how overwhelming he felt without even doing much at all.
He looked so composed, yet so undone at the same time.
A quiet sound left him, something between a breath and a restrained laugh.
“Did I?” he whispered, his lips brushing just beneath your ear again—not quite kissing this time, just close enough to drive you insane.
Your stomach tightened. Your hands moved again—one still tangled in his tie, the other sliding up to his jaw, forcing his face up just enough so you could look at him properly. Really look.
His composure wasn’t gone, but it wasn’t untouched either. His breathing was heavier now, his lips slightly parted, his gaze darker than you’d seen before—all that control still there, but strained at the edges.
And that made you laugh softly.
‘’This is so stupid,’’ you whispered, smile still etched on your face and the sight of you almost brought a smile into his own face.
And that made you laugh softly.
“This is so stupid,” you whispered, a faint smile still etched on your lips, though your breathing hadn’t quite settled. The sight of you almost pulled a smile from him too—almost, but not quite.
Instead, his gaze lingered on you, heavier now, slower, like he was trying to memorize the exact shape of your expression. His thumb brushed absentmindedly against your jaw where your hand still held him, grounding you there as if he had no intention of letting go.
“Is it?” he murmured, voice lower than before, less teasing now and something closer to restrained.
Your smile faltered slightly at the shift, your fingers tightening again around his tie without thinking.
“You’re still doing it,” you said quietly, though it came out softer than you intended. Less accusation, more awareness.
His eyes flicked to your mouth again— brief but unmistakable.
“Doing what?”
You huffed a small breath through your nose, shaking your head slightly as if that would clear the haze between you.
“Acting like you’re in control,” you said. “When you clearly aren’t.”
That caused a subtle shift in him—barely there, but enough. His jaw tensed for a second, breath catching like he’d been hit with something he didn’t quite expect you to say out loud. And then, slowly, his hand at your waist tightened certainly.
“Careful,” he murmured, closer now again, his voice brushing against your skin more than your ears. “You keep talking like that and I might cause scandal.’’
Your breath hitched slightly, but you didn’t look away. If anything, you leaned in a fraction closer, like you were testing him.
“Is that a threat?” you asked softly.
His gaze dropped to your lips again. ‘’I have a feeling you would rather it is.’’
Your stomach churned and clenched once again; the desire taking its toll on your veins. Your grip on his tie tightened slightly, but the sound of approaching footsteps broke through the tension before either of you could respond.
Daniel.
Your eyes widened just slightly, breath catching as instinct took over before thought. You pushed him by his chest, too quickly for it to look casual, fingers slipping from his tie as if it had burned you. Buck didn’t move immediately—just watched you for a second longer, like he was deciding whether to keep you there anyway. The tips of his ears were still red, his lips slightly swollen from your kisses and nibbles, and when you pushed him away, the space between you suddenly felt too loud.
You ran a hand through your hair quickly, smoothing it down as if that could erase the last few seconds, tugging your clothes into place with a sharp, distracted motion. Your heart was still too fast, too obvious in your chest. He adjusted his sleeves next, slow and deliberate, as if nothing had happened at all. Except his eyes—his eyes stayed on you, sharper now, quieter in a way that felt almost worse, as if now he knew how you felt, how you tasted.
The door handle turned as you were already by the side of Daniel’s desk—further away from Buck—as you tried to regain some self-control, stepping aside and grabbing the nearest excuse of normality you could find: your posture, your breath, your expression.
Daniel’s voice came in right after, casual, unaware.
“I see you two get on well,” said Daniel, his slight lisp softening his words and a sweet, wicked smile on his face.
His words sent a subtle wave of panic through you. Did he see? No, he couldn’t have. It was impossible. Was there a camera in the room he could check from his phone? That was ridiculous. The last thought that lingered was that he might have heard something—but even that unraveled when Buck began speaking, smoothly taking control of the conversation and making it clear Daniel was simply… mocking.
“Miss Charming is rather reserved, as I perceived,” said Buck, not breaking eye contact with you as his thumb slowly brushed across his bottom lip, as if wiping something away, a smirk forming that only you could understand the weight of.
“It’s quite hard to get her to talk. I guess I’ll have to try different alternative ways to make her sing.”
Buck Cashman NSFW Alphabet
Word count: 2783
Taglist: @itsneversirius @not-the-teen-witch @mahumf9 @itsdynotdaddy
sorry if there's anyone i forgot to tag! do not shy away from reminding me <3
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Buck gives the best after cares, of course he does. He's a man that does things impeccably and thoroughly. He also loves to see you content and safe in every aspect in life in general but after sex, he'd be quick with checking on you.
Pressing the back of his hand on your forehead to see if you were over heated from pleasure and leaves kisses on your face, your temple and hair as he'd gather you up in his arms even if his mind was foggy from how you wrecked him.
He would always have water and tissue on the bed side table.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
I feel like he's a pretty confident man in himself and loves everything about his own body but not in a cocky way, though he was from time to time, this man is just a master at self love.
But if he had to choose, I feel like it could be his arms. He loves to see them around your shoulders, your waist, around your neck when he takes you from the back, your legs hooked on his elbows or when you use them as a pillow to sleep and feels super soft when your cheeks fold and squish against it. You see, the thing he loves the most about himself is when you were included in.
What he loves about you is, except for the cliche answer of anything and everything about you, I should say he loves your face. He's a man with a broading face, let's be honest, and he loves how expressive your face is as well as how beautiful every curve and bumps in your face.
He could watch you without getting bored and with a man like his life, which was always tethering on the edge of adrenaline, staying still and not doing anything besides watching your face is a huge compliment on his side.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He's a man with a filthy, filthy mind which I believe expanded through his long military years. As if it was quite impossible to get laid, his mind had to improve to keep him entertained and seeing his cum on every surface of his significant other was probably something he imagined all along but I believe he likes it inside you the most whether inside a condom or not.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He's a shameless man, in my opinion, so he wouldn't have secrets and would share them with you once he makes sure you are comfortable but regardless, even if not thoroughly showing your body to the third person, he'd get off to the thought of everyone knowing how good he was for you, how takes care of you to the fullest and gives you the best pleasure in your life with many different ways he'd showed you.
That soldier-like mind of his likes to think he accomplished a mission successfully, and feels great pleasure himself once he serves right for you.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
As it stated earlier, in his military years he probably had to take care of everything himself but he's a charming man to the point I am quite sure he seduced some people even there. And after he left the military and did dirty works of Fisk, he probably got laid a lot with one night stands. So he's pretty experienced, in my opinion.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
You on top, riding him but he has to face you either. He doesn't like laying down and letting you do all the work, even if he loves when you're in control. He wants to be present in the moment.
He loves facing you, helping you bounce on his dick by holding your hips; he loves kissing you, whispering dirty things into your ear —which he knew sometimes does more work than his cock inside you—, and just in general wants to be close to you as soon as possible rather than putting space. Although, he loves the thought of you struggling to keep up and putting your palms on his abdomen for strength.
He also loves a good old classic missionary. There's nothing wrong with classics, especially if he gets to pleasure you easily and could see and feel every part of your body without a struggle. He loves to feel your plush thighs squeezing his waist or letting them hang from his elbows as he interlocks his fingers with yours.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
I think he has a wicked sense of humour with all the dirty remarks and witty comebacks to your own cheeky comments. Maybe not at first, but he definitely gets looser once he feels you're comfortable with him.
He has a very serious job with many serious and tense moments in it but sex is not something serious in his life. He loves to feel the normality of sharing a bonding moment with you.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He's a neat man but I don't think he shaves clean even though he regularly trims. It could be added to the section B but I believe he loves the view of his happy trail goes down and meets with his crotch. (Or maybe it's just a self insert thing from this writer..)
This man also wouldn't mind if you keep yourself shaved or not, he could very much find it attractive to see you being comfortable with him enough to grow bush and would totally be okay to eat you out even then.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He truly is romantic in his relationships, although I really doubt he had a stable one before you or even at all. He loves to run on adrenaline, in danger and everything that keeps him moving and when it comes to relationships, I believe he choosed that way not because he was afraid of his partner's safety —because he knows he'd protect them with his own life— but because he simply didn't want to stay away from the addicting feeling of danger.
But with his relationship with you, I'm not going to say he had a drastic change but he realized what a true person does to a man. Until you, he didn't think if he was romantic or not —definitely not against the idea of it because this man is completely stripped from the toxic masculinity—, and with you it just came naturally.
Maybe not in the most classic way with rose petals in bed and all that stuff, but he knows what to say and how to act. A deep kiss to your lips, a soft caress to your cheek, drying your hair with care after shower and even braiding them so they wouldn't get tangled when you sleep (if your hair is long enough).
He thinks taking care of you is the peak romanticism.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Again, he probably did regularly back then but during your relationship he doesn't have the need to. He likes to wait and get back to you even if you two couldn't see each other in such a long time. He wants to be with you and needs to be with you at some point to cum.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
I mean OBVIOUSLY chocking is one of them. He loves the feeling of getting lightheaded when you press down his windpipes. He has a rather thick neck and would turn on so bad if you use both of your hands which leads to...
Size kink. It doesn't matter how tall you are and how much you weight, he makes sure he is the bigger side. It's not in a toxic way a man would have the urge to be bigger and tougher, no. He loves the feeling of you turning into a puddle in his hands, under him, between his arms and adores to look down at you because he gets to see how beautiful your eyes are beneath your lashes.
He also likes to see how he could cover your body with his arms around your body, gathering you closer and tighter to pull you into his chest until you disappear.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
He loves the comfort of home but as it was mentioned, this man is probably an adrenaline addict so he loves doing in the car. The tight space in the car makes him feel stuck and he loves that feeling of claustrophobia while trying to get into the best position in such a small space to hit all the right spots inside you.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
He loves your clever tongue and that sharp mind of yours. He loves whenever you talk shit to him, clap back and argue even if it must. He loves how you handle hard situations easily and how you catch the details on things that require true intelligence and he loves a woman with a mind that puts him back into his place.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Scaring you, probably. If you're comfortable with him he could go with a gun play for example but if he ever sees or senses the eyes that looks at him with fondness and lust had even a bit of fear— it doesn't matter how much you wanted it, he simply wouldn't continue.
He's also not into hurting you with sharp tools and making you bleed, biting down into your lip and drawing blood is an exception.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Give give give.
He loves eating you out, he loves the taste of you and how good your thighs squeeze his thick neck and cheeks.
After days of not seeing you, the first thing after he kisses you deeply and makes sure you were doing fine was eating you out while encouraging you to talk about what had happened when he was gone. He'd listen to you, would stop to ask questions about the last changes in your life and continue feasting once you start talking again.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Depends on how you'd like it at the moment. Due to his job's nature I mentioned before that he's not a patient person but having sex was also a beautiful normalcy in his life and he'd go slow and sensual with small talks in between. He would look at you, caress your hair out of your face and would drink your soft, blissfully expression as he strokes your inner walls in a senseful way.
If you ask him to be harder, he'd go harder not faster. If you want it fast, he'd do it gladly. Just ask him nicely, he's so ready to do any word that drips from your pretty lips.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
It is not often but if you get up early to get ready for your job and feel needy but don't have much time, he'd gladly take his way with you quickly with his skilled fingers rubbing on your clit expertedly.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He loves risks, it's in his nature and is a constant feeling that he's used to and with a filthy mind of his, he wouldn't shy away from a little experiment as long as you wanted too.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
See, okay, he really is a strong willed man and goes as long as he gets to make cum you first but it is a challenge to not come so quickly with the wet, tight feeling of you wrapped around him. No matter how many times you did it, he always had this little nervous thought about finishing as soon as he felt your walls wrapped around his tip. That's how incredible you feel to him but he always makes sure to make you cum before he gets there himself.
The need to go for another round would probably kick after fifteen minutes, where your breathing calmed down and you relaxed into the bed and hydrated. He has to make sure about your first.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
He wants to be the only thing that gives you any kind of pleasure so I doubt he has one. He loves the idea of tying your wrists together with his tie so maybe, handcuffs would be something he could consider if it counts as a toy. But other than that, he wants you to use him rather than you using a piece of plastic.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Ooh does he love to tease... He loves getting reactions out of you. Pissing you off on purpose so he could hear your vulgar, sharp but clever remarks and punishes you for the language you used.
He loves a good brat that didn't scare to speak their mind and would fully rile you up just to make you beg right after so you can use his thighs to rub yourself on prettily.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He moans, groans, pants, whimpers even and won't shy away from it. He knows what those sounds do to you, how his accent gets you closer and makes you pulse around his cock; so he uses every bit of it.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
He loves the way your face flushes, tears wet your lashes and your lips swollen after you cry for whatever reason. He wouldn't focus on this when you do, he'd do everything in his power to make you feel better as you cried and would feel proud to see you so comfortable around him enough to cry.
He'd soothe you through it with soft, peppering kisses on your soft lips and caress your hair and put you in his arms but the second your tears stops to spill— he gets so turned on by how sweet, how vulnerable you look with flush on your cheeks and the teary, half lidded eyes of yours.
And he's so, so ashamed to want to fuck you softly and make you sob because of his cock this time. It could be the only time he wants you this submissive and wants you to take whatever he offers rather than that sharp tongue of yours that drives him insane.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Respectfully thick on the root and slims down just a little in the end. About 6 inches when he's soft. Light brown on the tip ( #cab59e ) and surprisingly straight.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
This man yearns for you. He misses your voice, your scent, how soft your lips feels under his and how good you caress his skin and hair would constantly think about you. Especially if he feels like the job was draining him, he continues on to hold on with the strength of your presence in his life.
He loves to have sex with you, and it's quite regular but he loves to spend time with you and doesn't have the need to immediately get laid after a long time of seeing you. Sometimes he just wants to holds you in his arms, watch your face and relax with the truth of you're safe. And his.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He doesn't feel the need to sleep immediately, he loves taking his sweet time and being lazy in bed with you. Talking about sweet nothing while he caresses your back with teasing, subtle touches from your nape to your back. He loves kissing you a little bit more, drinking your scent and feeling present in the moment.
But if you pass out in his arms, he's totally okay with that either. He loves to watch how your eyelashes flutter, how your lips shaped and how your body relaxed against him and would caress your hair until finally, the sight of you gives him inner peace and he closes his eyes with his nose buried in between your hair.
Stays On.
Pairing: Buck Cashman x fem!reader
Word count: 3046
Warnings: Subtle swearing, mature content (minors do not interact), p! without a plot, poor writing , dry humping.
Summary: Seeing him with anything other than his suit, except naked, and with glasses does indeed something to you.
Author Note: English is not my first language and this is the one of the many I'd like to write and share about Buck. Hope you all enjoy and please do tell me if there's anything wrong with the choice of words and grammar!!
and also, if you want to be in the taglist from now on feel free to comment! <3
Going out with your friends was a rare privilege these days as your work was taking a toll on your private life, especially as it was illegal and your customers were impatient. Being a software developer in a good, high position and in a deep-rooted company meant that you either had a large sum of money or you knew someone that had all that jazz.
Thus, going into illegal work and doing most of the dirty work for the bigwigs was inevitable at some point, as long as you didn’t know all the secrets they asked from you since you really didn’t want to deal with their crap if you were ever to get caught.
And it did… wonders for your life, to say the least.
It was stable, well— the amount of money was mind-boggling and the working hours and the limited days were at least somewhat balanced, it was something you loved doing it and for God’s sake— you were living in a literal fucking penthouse whose rent you didn’t have to worry about and lastly:
It made you meet some of the most beautiful people in your life, if not the most important one.
Not that you’d ever tell him that, yet.
Normally, you’d never meet your clients. Everything that happened happened through an e-mail that you used strictly for that one client, and you arranged to erase all the evidence of those mails that came from your side through the code you had developed yourself—which was something you kept hidden from your clients, in case anything ever happened.
They didn’t know your name; you didn’t know theirs. You were almost sure that the image in their heads about you was not true at all, to be fair. Nothing personal was shared, including the bank accounts that were not in your name, which was something you wouldn’t have done without your friend who introduced you to this world.
So, if anything ever happened, you were going to be safe.
Or so you thought, until you received an e-mail—not through the first e-mail address you shared with your clients before directing them to their personalized addresses, but through your own e-mail, which you had probably made in your middle-school years. The one with an embarrassing name that you refused to give to anyone but were too attached to leave behind.
It was mentioning your name, your job, and what they wanted from you, which made you panic and freak out, to say the least. At first, you ignored the mail and decided that if you acted like nothing had happened, your life would go on as it normally did.
The first few days, you were paranoid and afraid, not accepting any jobs until you made sure you were completely safe and reached out to your friend that you knew would help you, to let her know if anything happened.
After the first week, you started to continue with your life, even if terror and horror still lurked in the back of your mind. It was in one of the patisserie shops you’d regularly visit when you were tapped on the shoulder and sternly reminded about the e-mail you didn’t answer, the person holding a brown bag in one hand and a drink of your choice.
That’s how you met Buck Cashman.
A task directly from his employer, whose name he didn’t give—you later found out it was the Kingpin himself—and that said person was so open and clear in his work, according to the man in the suit who was so impeccable, with an accent that made your throat dry and your heart throb in places that shouldn’t have been.
You were required to see him at certain times, on certain days, regularly if you wanted to continue to work with them—for life. You refused the for-life arrangement, but accepted the offer for one job only.
Then those work meetings turned into late nights, and late nights blurred with the cotton mattresses of your bed and stolen touches, along with the whispered names you shared in breathless moments.
It had been four months since that meeting, and even if you both were too afraid to name this thing as anything, you both were familiar with each other—both body and mind, and even your home.
You came home after a few drinks, not expecting to see the lights on at all, but what really surprised you was Buck Cashman himself, sitting on the chair near the island countertop, right in the view of the front door. A laptop, probably yours, was open, and he was covering half of his face with his hand, his thumb over his left cheek as the other fingers dug deep into the right side of his face, while he was looking at the computer screen behind the thick frames of his glasses.
Glasses?
And for the first time ever, he was wearing a plain black shirt with short sleeves that hugged his toned arms in the most perfect way, and grey sweatpants. He looked way too domesticated, and the familiar, sweet wetness had already started to show itself between your itching legs.
With your high heels tossed to the side right in front of the front door, you got closer to him with eager but slow steps.
‘’Hello, handsome,’’ you said, your voice light and playful as it showed the pleasant surprise you felt.
He looked up at you, his arms open for you as if you were always welcomed—you were—and smiled softly, but enough for those dimples to show. You were sure you wanted to be buried there once you died, but you’d never admit this to yourself or him, as it was way too cheesy.
‘’Hello, beautiful,’’ he said, his arms wrapped around your mid-torso the second you stepped in between them, and his face buried right into your chest, the frames of his glasses slightly digging into your skin through the shirt you wore. The height difference between you was pleasant; feeling the upper hand was rather rare with him, but given the circumstances of him sitting on a stool, it was only fair.
Your fingers found his hair—it wasn’t styled this time—and when you ran them through his thick strands, you smelled your own shampoo. This man came to your house uninvited, used your shower, your shampoo, and your laptop without permission, and you were completely fine with that.
And that drove you crazy.
He pulled back just enough to see your face, placed a kiss right under your jaw, and kept an arm around you as he hummed when you continued to scratch his scalp with your nails.
‘’I never knew about these,’’ you said, gesturing at the glasses with your chin as a wicked smile you couldn’t help formed on your face.
‘’I’m rather mysterious, you know,’’ he said playfully, pulling you closer and resting his back against the chair as he opened his legs further when you climbed on top of him.
You rolled your eyes fondly, clearly showing your interest in his clothes and the choice of accessories he wore by caressing his chest down to his abdomen through the soft fabric at first, with both legs on either side of his waist.
You straddled him gladly and put your hands on his shoulders out of habit later on. The hard thuds of your heart were not just because you were extremely turned on by this delightful surprise of his presence and refreshing sight of him but because the way he moved around the things you owned like he owned the place also made you excited.
‘’What do I owe this unexpected visit?’’ you asked, tilting your head to the side as you gazed at the beautiful brown lashes that framed those deep brown eyes. Fuck, he was breathtaking.
He got closer and nuzzled into your neck.
‘’Had an unexpected day off, wanted to spend it with something worth it,’’ he said, kissing your shoulder through the thin layer of shirt you wore. His hands were on your waist, slowly dragging them up and down your back, down to your hips.
Your heart skipped a beat, making your breath hitch at his words, and you had to swallow. With a tilt of your head down, you caught his gaze as your eyebrows rose slightly.
You didn’t ask the question, but he answered it by taking your lips in a kiss.
It was deep and intense as it always like that with him, taking in your scent deeply from the skin of your cheek as his nose was buried in and caressing your bottom lip with a soft lick of his tongue before sucking softly.
Your sigh was mixed with a whimper and you got closer but he pulled back softly. His eyebrows in a tight knit as he reached for his glasses to take it off but you shoved his hand away as quickly as it reached for to the thick frames.
‘’Leave it be.’’ you said, a little breathless but eager as your chest heaved.
‘’It is digging into my skin.’’ replied Buck and he reached for them once again but this time you slapped his hand.
‘’That’s a you problem.’’ you said, thinking about just for your own pleasure earned you a spank on the left side of your ass which made you yelp quietly.
‘’Cheeky,’’ he said, his voice low as a hum in his throat before pulling you back into the kiss by grabbing the nape of your neck. You giggled right into it; he kissed your teeth and shared a smile with you into the kiss before it got heated.
His lips moved in alliance with his tongue and kissed you deeply. Caressed your lips, nipped them in between his teeth as his fingers cradled the side of your face while the other rested on your thigh, pinching every few seconds as if he was kneading a dough.
Your arms were around his neck, your fingers running through the thick strands of his hair and with every caress that brought your scent to him woke something possessive in you.
Your hips moved softly, grinding against him over the soft fabric of the sweats and he let out a delightful moan but because of the thick fabric of your jeans, you couldn’t get the friction you so, desperately wanted to have. As if he was thinking the same as he pulled back once again and looked at you with those pink lips that was glossy and swollen because of you.
‘’Did you really have to wear trousers right now?’’ he asked, frustrated as he fiddled with the button and zip of your pants.
You giggled. ‘’Trousers. That’s so British.’’
Another soft, playful spank to your butt right before he pulled your body closer sharply with the hook of your pants. You gasped; your mind didn’t know how to feel about him manhandling you but your body responded with another wave of dampness that made you ruin your cotton panties thoroughly.
‘’I suggest you to not mock me, sweetheart.’’ He whispered, lips rubbing the lobe of your ear.
‘’Because I experienced what my little accent can cause to this pretty body of yours. Now get up and let me strip you for me, please?’’
You swallowed thickly, cursing him under your breath but he wasn’t affected at all. On the contrary, with a slight smirk on his face, he patted your thighs. Encouraged you to get up just for a moment as he helped you push down your trousers to leave you in the plain patterned of your panties before pulling you back down right where you belonged.
The way you could feel everything clearly now, through the thin layers of clothing made you sigh as your hips worked forwards once, slowly.
‘’It’s a little unfair, don’t you think?’’ you said, looking at the black shirt on him that covered his body in every delicious way and even if you really enjoyed him in it, you wanted it off.
He sighed, looked at you as if you were being a spoiled child that called everything unfair and ruined the game but there was a fond smile on his face either. He took of his glasses first, earning a small threat from you about how he should wear right away as soon as he was done pulling off his shirt, put it on the kitchen island right behind you and reached the back of his shirt to grab a handful, right from the nape of it before pulling it over his head and off to the ground, right where your pants were dropped.
Already passing the shy phase of this relationship you shared, you didn’t mind ogling him with lust-blown eyes. Your throat was dry with the view in front of you. He was thin, especially his chest was pressed down but it has the most beautiful curve between his chest and right above the packs of abs he had that you so wanted to bury your nose and eat him up until he feels overwhelmed.
Your fingers touched the planes of his chest and he encouraged your hips to move as once again your lips crushed against his, right after you made sure he wore those glasses back. You felt the way he took a deep breath of your skin once again and it melt you right away as it always did. His tongue met with yours, caressing it softly but never causing any itch he wouldn’t handle.
Your hips found a rhythm with the encouragement of the wide, warm palms on your hips and you felt how he grew under you. The outline of his thick length pressed all the right places that made you both moan into the kiss.
‘’Fuck,’’ you gasped, your head thrown back with your right hand grabbed the side of his neck as the other curled around his hair in a fist. Getting yourself off on him with sharp, urgent movements of your hips and pulling his hair made him moan. A moan that came right from his flushed chest. The brunette man’s eyes watched every blissful expression on your face as he bit down on his plump bottom lip, fascinated by the way how beautiful you were. How you took his breath away and how lucky he fucking was. What a woman.
Buck’s palms moved under your panties soon after, feeling impatient and so close, grabbed a fistful of both of your ass cheeks and dragged you harder on the clothed hard line of his cock.
‘’Yes, my love.’’ He whispered, panting heavily onto your throat as his mouth started to leave open-mouthed, wet kisses onto every surface of skin he founded. The pet name made another beat to skip in your heart. ‘’Use me as you wish.’’
His words made you both groan as you looked down at him. The glasses of him were fogged up, slightly askew and right on the end of his long nose that you were quite fond of. You leaned, foreheads pressed together as you breathed against his mouth heavily, gasping with every friction of pleasure the more he thrusted up and pulled you down.
The way your panties grew wetter made you move easier even through the fabrics and you felt a similar patch on the grey of his pants, wondering if it was you leaked through it or him.
‘’Oh, I’m so close.’’ You warned him, your voice a breathy whisper as your fingers tugged at his hair with the anticipation of your climax. Buck didn’t mind, groaned through his teeth and bit down on his lip to not come earlier than you do, prioritizing your pleasure as he always did.
‘’Oh yeah?’’ he panted, one of the hands on your ass dragged down between the crack of your ass and touched the wetness between your fold as much as he could. You groaned softly as your head fell to his shoulder this time. The feeling of your wetness made him twitch in his briefs and for a second, he thought he had lost it and came sooner than you did.
‘’Come on, make a mess for me darling.’’
With a few, uncontrolled, rapid and erratic, sharp waves of your hips and his teasing, encouraging words you saw the sparks behind your closed lids. Your whole body tensed, thighs clamping around his waist as the sweet friction finally made you see the bright side of the world.
Buck was no better than you, hearing your muffled whine that longed as long as your orgasm brought him to his own end as he bucked his lips to thrust right between your panty covered slick folds, making a mess on his own boxers.
His skin where your forehead rested against was covered in thin layer of sweat, his hand was still on the soft swell of your bare ass as you both panted and waited to come down from your highs but he was quick take care of you immediately, even with a dizzy head.
‘’Doing well?’’ he asked softly, urging you carefully with a cradle of his hand —the clean one that was on your ass just a second ago— on your cheek for you to look at him.
You pulled back, your damp hair from sweat stuck to your skin in the most delicate and sweet way that made his heart fell to his stomach as he brushed them back tenderly, checking and making sure you were okay with those careful and compassionate eyes of his.
‘’Yeah,’’ you nodded, too far gone to smile at him as you rested your forehead against his cheekbone to at least show him you were fine.
‘’Good.’’ he said, caressing the back of your head this time as he planted a kiss onto your neck, softly, before adding with a wicked smile as he tilted his head just enough for his nose to brush against your jaw right before he pushed back the fogged-up glasses.
‘’Would you like to see how much of your shampoo I used?’’
honestly.. i have no idea how to use this thing 𝒂𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 as a fic writer/content creator
i only ever used wattpad or ao3 before but i wanna write "× reader" one-shots here so bad