(kinda personal story + recent thoughts abt writing)
i've been daydreaming and creating original stories (often inspired by books/movies/anime/etc. but with ocs) in my head since 2020 (i think so?). most of them are either based on couple associations like pictures/tropes or, more often than not, songs. i used to find one song that fits perfectly to my ocs or plot and start building stuff around it, then search for more songs, eventually creating the whole playlist.
listening to that playlist would throw me into that imaginary world. i could almost see my ocs living their life (well, not exactly see, it's closer to feel it as my imagination is literally blind - i likely am on aphantasia spectrum, so basically my visual imagination is pretty weak). it quickly made them a big part of my life but i still couldn't really explain what i'm imagining to other people, even to my friends.
at some point i found a friend who had a similar hobby of creating fictional worlds in her head. we both did it through music. that friend had soooo vivid visual imagination, she could practically watch her fantasies like cartoons in her head (or at least that's how she described it to me). i guess, it was only a matter of time that we realised that we can share our stories with each other through writing. and that's the main point here.
she always described her stories as if it was an animation she's planning to draw with a song on the background (or instructing someone else to draw), which means lots and lots lf visual detais, "camera" angles, special effects and stuff. so i naturally picked that style after her and started doing the same with my stories. to be honest, it is VERY cool. i am a fellow fan of weaving in subtle details and describing some parts of my plot as if it was an animation let me express details that i would like to be here but not told straightforwardly.
however, it was hard. it is still hard for me to write descriptions, even after several "written animations". it would take weeks to finish one. and then months of getting my energy back.
eventually i stopped writing it at all (that friend was my only reader - i never posted any of my texts and when we stopped talking i just didn't see any reasons to continue writing).
but recently i realised that i actually want to write. maybe to just conserve my imaginary stories for myself (all in all, i often forget details and make it up from scratch every time again), maybe to let someone know they're not alone, maybe to see what happens if someone reads it. i don't know yet.
and with that thought i also was hit by the idea of writing in a different way. maybe i've been trying to fit my texts into a language that i don't speak myself. maybe that's why i couldn't get back to it. but i don't have to describe things that i don't see myself. i can use what i perceive better - concepts and metaphors. i can find my own writing voice. it will be different from my friend's but it doesn't mean it's better or worse.
even though it's still hard and slow process, i do enjoy writing process so much more now than i did in the past when i was rushing towards the result to get my friend's feedback.
