Dr. Lisa Cuddy, MD

Dean of Medicine Chief Hospital Administrator If you see House, tell him I'm looking for him.

[imhousingit-ohimhousingit]

I gave a patient mouse bites and they stopped living what do I do

- @opal-md

bring them back tf? there's obviously toothpicks in their asshole

[opal-md]

Fuck dude you’re right. This is why cuddy barely pays me.

[lisacuddy-md]

not the only reason....

[writersisland]

Prompts: Are we about to fight or fuck?

⟢ "I'm getting mixed signals here." "I could tie you up and threaten you with a knife." "That... would not help."

⟢ "You‘re staring." "So are you."

⟢ "Keep talking like that and I might think you care." "God forbid."

⟢ "I can‘t fucking stand you." "Then why are you standing so close?" "I… What?"

⟢ "We can‘t keep doing this." "I wasn‘t aware this had turned into an us thing."

⟢ "Is there a reason you keep showing up where I am?" "I could ask you the same thing."

⟢ "Is there a reason you keep showing up where I am?" "Maybe I‘m following you." "And why would you do that?" "Why indeed."

⟢ "You‘re the last person I wanted to see tonight." "And yet here we are."

⟢ "Get off me." "You sure? For a second it looked like you were enjoying yourself."

⟢ "I never know what you want from me." "Good. I‘d hate to make it easy for you."

⟢ "Back off." "Stop leaning in."

⟢ "What exactly is this? Us?" "Do you want an answer or are you afraid of it?"

⟢ "You should go." "You should try sounding like you actually want me gone when you say that."

[lisacuddy-md]

Can I get paid this week…? It’s been a month :(

- @opal-md

I didn't even hire you....fine. minimum wage, though.

[lisacuddy-md]

I'm going to inject a patient with dead bacteria to regress a tumour, okay? :) I'm gonna William Coley this shit.

Ava, NO. You get more like your dad each day.

[lisacuddy-md]

are you Avas mom??

In spirit or in actuality?

[queerbookbitch]

some asshole: GENDER IS WHATS IN YOUR PANTS

me: *pulls out good omens from one of my many cargo pant pockets* what now motherfucker

[beerok23]

From Georgia’s Instagram

In celebration of opening night of Our Town (March 4 - 2026)

[nulfidelfi]

68 Days until season 3 of Good Omens!

[beezkneez12]

pomni doing urbexing on youtube while these guys do... whatever tf

[milfenthousiast]

If I had a nickel for every time I saw a pairing where one of the two was an angel and I believed this angel should kiss his best friend in the friend’s shiny black oldtimer and start a whole make-out session like they’re teenagers after prom despite being way too old for that kind of thing- I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice, right?

[arminho0]

WHAT’S YOUR DAMAGE? 💚❤️💛

[lisacuddy-md]

which House would you say gives you the most headaches

all of them...but especially @imhousingit-ohimhousingit

[imhousingit-ohimhousingit]

What would you do during the trolley problem AND do you think we can rally enough patients up willingly to conduct it in the parking lot with just a bunch of cars instead of a train?

-Opal @opal-md

this is a great question , no one tell cuddy but I am definitely doing this. Also the answer is kill everyone

[opal-md]

I wont! I promise! You know im trustworthy, right? Id never tell a soul!

@inneedofantidepressants @lisacuddy-md @chase-is-on-the-caseee @dr-avahouse

[dr-avahouse]

Cars are just plain boring. Let's use the medical supply delivery trucks instead.

[lisacuddy-md]

No one's keen on lawsuits, are we?

[imhousingit-ohimhousingit]

What would you do during the trolley problem AND do you think we can rally enough patients up willingly to conduct it in the parking lot with just a bunch of cars instead of a train?

-Opal @opal-md

this is a great question , no one tell cuddy but I am definitely doing this. Also the answer is kill everyone

[opal-md]

I wont! I promise! You know im trustworthy, right? Id never tell a soul!

@inneedofantidepressants @lisacuddy-md @chase-is-on-the-caseee @dr-avahouse

[chase-is-on-the-caseee]

I'm not going to condone this.

Instead, I'm going to film it! Give me the time and place or whatever.

[lisacuddy-md]

CHASE!

[imhousingit-ohimhousingit]

What would you do during the trolley problem AND do you think we can rally enough patients up willingly to conduct it in the parking lot with just a bunch of cars instead of a train?

-Opal @opal-md

this is a great question , no one tell cuddy but I am definitely doing this. Also the answer is kill everyone

[opal-md]

I wont! I promise! You know im trustworthy, right? Id never tell a soul!

@inneedofantidepressants @lisacuddy-md @chase-is-on-the-caseee @dr-avahouse

[lisacuddy-md]

house NO

[drjamesevanwilson]

I better finish this before a certain someone finds me..

[opal-md]

*steals it before house can and runs off*

[lisacuddy-md]

Opal-! ....aaannd they're gone.

[opal-md]

opal where are my prostitutes and vicodin I ordered them an hour ago

Jeez man calm down I’ve been busy…handing out printer paper…yeah… anyways this is a hospital why are you ordering prostitutes here? And I can’t order Vicodin i don’t have the degree for that!

[j-wilson-oncology]

House, your prostitute mysteriously cancelled. And, Opal, I've got the vicodin...

[imhousingit-ohimhousingit]

FUCK YOU I KNOW YOU MADE MY PROSTITUTE CANCEL. that's the THIRD time this week

[opal-md]

Order them to your place or I’ll have Cuddy place you in pediatrics for a week

(Ooc sorry for second post, still learning how to use multi blogs)

[imhousingit-ohimhousingit]

:(( "order them to your place" what do you think I am. an adult

//no worries divs I do ts all the time//

[lisacuddy-md]

I heard my name?