Lisa's Tinder Adventures

[lisalittleto]

Tinderventure: Days Three, Four, Five, & Six

Day Three

Just to see what would happen, I messaged all my matches, referencing something from their bios or pics because I am that detail-oriented. I was mostly ignored, which is what I expected.

One guy and I talked about spicy food, our majors, and video games. He was on Tinder for shits and giggles and was hoping to improve his small talk skills.

Some guy had “Bad pickup lines are available upon request” in his bio, so I requested some lame pickup lines and sent him some of my favorite ones.

I met another cat dad, and he admitted to trying to impress me by bringing up the only song he knew by one of my favorite bands. He told me I could unmatch with him because of our differing music tastes, but I said I was on Tinder just for friends, anyway, and we exchanged Snapchats so that he could send me pics of his cat.

I had a weird conversation this other guy, who brought up the true love of my life Avatar: The Last Airbender because it was in my bio before he changed subjects. He was looking for a girlfriend on Tinder, to which I said I was just looking for friends. The things he said he was looking for in a girlfriend were:

Sweet, friendly

A good friend

And some physical activity :’D

In bed

I asked my friends what they would respond to that and went with:

Isn’t it harder to do push ups in bed, though? It’d be easier to do at the gym, y’know.

He got upset when he asked me out and I turned him down. He sent this emoji: -_- I mean, I told him I was only looking for friends on Tinder.

Day Four

In no particular order:

Some guy and I talked about metal music.

Another told me he was only visiting California for a few days and kept asking me what was fun to do.

Another guy and I talked about Harry Potter.

This douchebag discriminated against me because of my short height and was only looking to fuck through Tinder. GOODBYE, LOSER.

I met a professional cameraman, and he asked me about my poetry.

I had a pretty strange conversation with someone, and he never replied after my last message, so I don’t know what’s up.

Him: Hey, why do I feel like I’ve met you before?

Me: I don’t think we’ve ever met before. What makes you feel that way?

Him: Your smile looks familiar

Me: Maybe we met before in a past life.

I met some other guys, and the conversations went:

Them: Hey

Me: Hey, how’s it going.

Them: Good

(Me: Well, alrighty then)

A lot of boys suck at small talk, apparently.

I also swiped right on a Haikus profile because I wanted a free haiku, just for kicks.

Him: Tell me something cool

Interesting about you

For a free haiku

^ that’s a haiku btw

Me: Well, that is not free

If I have to do something

For a free haiku

^ also a haiku

He sent me his “best” haikus, but they were not the best.

Day Five

This weird fuck messaged me:

Him: R u kinky

Me: Yes. I like to shower with people…and use their blood to cleanse my soul. (Response courtesy of a friend because I have extremely sassy friends with the best responses.)

Him: Damnnnnn. Idk if I can get on ur level. Guess we weren’t meant to be

Me: I guess so.

I went to the beach with friends after, so I was not on Tinder. Snapchat Cat Dad did send me snaps of his adorable cat. He was so confused when I told him he was cute.

Day Six

Conversations continued with some matches. Snapchat Cat Dad continued sending me snaps of his cat.

I’ve also been officially ghosted by Cute Guy from the first post. He changed his Tinder profile bio and pics but didn’t bother to send a quick 2 second text to me about whether he’s still alive or not. Oh, fucking well. In the words of a wise friend:

Friend: I bet he wasn’t even that great, like great guys don’t just ghost nice people

Truest fucking shit ever.

What I’ve Learned from A Week of Tinder

No matter how innocent or dorky they may look, fuckboys will be fuckboys.

If a guy ghosts, he sucks. If I ghost a guy, it’s because he sucks by being rude and inappropriate.

Having random conversations with strangers is a lot of fun when they are into it and bring up intellectual topics.

When asked to meet up and I said no, some guys would continue with the conversations while others would become crybabies and whine about what a bitch I am. The good ones continue the conversation.

My friends come up with the best and funniest responses to weird things guys have said to me.

It’s difficult keeping conversations with 10+ different guys straight in my head at any given time.

Don’t take Tinder seriously. Ever.

Age doesn’t matter, maturity does.

I’m discovering what I like and what I don’t like from guys and I’m making some friends along the way, which is the whole point of why I joined Tinder in the first place.

[lisalittleto]

Tinderventure: Day Two

What I Woke Up To

I woke up to more matches and a drunk text from the cute guy. He apologized when I asked him about it and said he had gotten drinks with one his guy friends. I was like, okay, alright.

I didn’t swipe for the day simply because I got tired of swiping left and seeing so many fuckboys. Instead, I decided to just talk to the guys I already matched with and see what would happen.

Fuckboys I’ve Encountered

Despite trying not to match with any fuckboys, some managed to reveal themselves in the messages I had with them.

Fuckboy #1:

Him: This might work

Me: Or it might not. Who knows? Your move.

Him: You and me

I stopped replying.

Fuckboy #2:

Him: Interested in meeting up and making out?

Me: Not really, LOL.

He didn’t message back, LOL.

New Non-Fuckboy Match Conversation

This new guy started with:

Him: You give off this happy go lucky but can still kick my ass vibe.. it’s kinda cute

That is exactly my vibe, by the way. He invited me to lunch, to which I said I would like to get to know him better. So, we asked each other questions and found out that we both would rather die by water than by fire and that we’re both Buddhists. He asked for my zodiac sign and then didn’t reply after. In his bio, he did state he was looking for specific zodiac signs, so oh, well. If he wants to be that superstitious, be my guest.

Continuing Conversations

EMT and I continued talking about his job and he mentioned his music hobby. He showed me a video of him playing ambient music on the guitar, and it was dope. Turns out, we’re into a lot of the same bands.

Cat Snapchat Boy found out about this blog because I posted on Snapchat and totally forgot. He might want in on the “experiments” after his finals, LOL.

Cute Guy and I exchanged numbers. I’m not stupid, I know that’s a risk and he could potentially be an ax murderer or a psycho creep (all these guys could be), but talking to him feels like talking to an old friend. He sent me a selfie as proof, and he’s adorable. We talked about a ton of different things all day and he’s absolutely hilarious, but he thinks he’s lame in real life.

[lisalittleto]

Tinderventure: Day One

Before Tinder

It has been months since I broke up with my long-distance ex-boyfriend, and I never felt freer before in my life. When I last saw him, I felt absolutely nothing and knew it was time to end things. I was happy not having to worry about another human being all the time, especially since I was finishing up my undergrad degree and preparing to graduate.

As a proudly single woman, I’m not too worried about relationships at this point in my life and I’m just chilling.

Why I Downloaded Tinder

I never approved of dating apps before because I thought they were made just to find fuckbuddies and one night stands. For those who are into that, cool. But for me, that’s not what I want.

My friends from college encouraged me to download Tinder, OKCupid, or Bumble after I asked them what those dating apps were like. Have a lot of fuckboys/girls contacted them? Did they meet people who seemed cool on the app but turned out to be jerks in real life? Are these users shallow? I was assured that my friends had met really nice people, discovered what they liked in the dating world, and it’s simple to just unmatch or ignore people they aren’t really interested in.

So, I downloaded Tinder yesterday in the hopes of meeting cool guys, possibly making new friends around the area.

Guys I Avoided

After downloading Tinder and creating my profile, in which I explicitly wrote “Not interested in sex” in my bio, I was presented with a slew of men that I could “Nope” or “Like” or even “Super Like.”

The ones I immediately swiped left on included:

Shirtless guys. (Come on, man, why? It comes off douchebag-y as fuck.)

Guys in sunglasses. In ALL their photos.

Guys surrounded by girls. (What game are you playing at?)

Cars. No human. Just cars.

Blurry photos. (Learn to take decent ones, please.)

Strange bios that said rude things like, “If you’re above __ pounds, please swipe left” or “Hmu if you’re (insert race).” (Do women look like objects to you? SWIPING LEFT.)

Bios that explicitly said, “Looking for a sugar mama” or “Let’s get schwifty” because no.

Guys who looked too perfect because there’s gotta be a catch with those guys.

Guys I Was Genuinely Interested In

Although I swiped left on a LOT of guys because I’m not trying to get laid, I did swipe right on some guys.

I swiped right on:

Guys who looked dorky and/or cute.

Guys who had funny bios, even if I didn’t find them amazingly attractive. Some guys wrote things like, “My grandma thinks I’m handsome, so I got that going for me.”

Guys who had pics of them doing interesting things instead of just half-naked selfies.

Cute guys I had “Common Connections” or “Common Interests” with, both of which are connected to FaceBook.

Guys who explicitly wrote in their bio, “Looking for friends or a relationship” and “I like food” (because I also like food).

Guys with animals (I told a guy he was smart for posting a pic with his adorable dog because it worked).

Matches

I matched with 24 guys, although I later un-matched with two of them and I plan on un-matching with a few more. I had a little ego boost but not all that much since I do know that some (or many) guys will swipe right on all females without really looking at their bios or pics. Maybe some girls do that, too, but I know more of my guy friends do the all swiping thing.

Of those matches, I talked to maybe half of them. Some of the conversations were like, wut.

This one guy in particular asked me how my day was not just once but twice. He asked me what I was into (art and books) and proceeded to ask if he could take me out to a bookstore in the area that I had never heard of before. The place sounded cool, but I told this guy that I would prefer to get to know him first before we meet up. And he asked me how my day was for the third time. I didn’t reply.

Several guys messaged me and didn’t bother to reply after I messaged them back, but that’s fine because they all probably have like 50 other girls after their dicks.

I had a nice conversation with this guy about his adorable yorkie puppy. I talked with this other guy about cats and he gave me his Snapchat. I met an EMT and we sent memes to each other.

And there was a particularly cute guy who messaged me at the beginning of my tinderventure about music. Our conversation went from music to college to Harry Potter to our experiences on Tinder. There was a lot of cute bantering and he genuinely made me laugh out loud a few times. He seems pretty interested and I’m pretty interested, so who knows what might happen?

Final Thoughts on Tinder

I have changed my mind about dating apps. It’s easy to just stop talking to guys I’m not interested in and they’re chill with it. It’s nice to meet cool people outside of my usual social spheres and to bond over memes and animals and music. I thought it was going to be boring or a shitshow, but Tinder has been fun. I’m going to continue using it for shits and giggles and see what happens.