Dealing with Sadness
Surah Aal-e-Imran, Verse 139:
وَلَا تَهِنُوا وَلَا تَحْزَنُوا وَأَنتُمُ الْأَعْلَوْنَ إِن كُنتُم مُّؤْمِنِينَ
So do not become weak, nor be sad, and you will be superior if you are indeed true believers.
I came across this ayat when I was watching Bayyinah on YouTube. Through a video titled ‘Don’t Let Sadness Overwhelm You”, Nouman Ali Khan explains that through this ayat Allah advises us against allowing failure and disappointment to wear us down, to not let this sadness overwhelm us and not to beat ourselves up because our faith in Allah has placed us in a supreme position.
This ayat has a special place in my heart because of what happened during my return to Indonesia a few weeks ago. February 6th was one of the saddest days for me. I had to submit my final paper for the New Public Sphere module at that day, but I could not finish it. I already had the paper structured so well to the point that I only needed to do some rewording and connect each paragraph to make my whole paper coherent. I went to a cafe to focus on finishing up my paper, because it was one day after my sister’s wedding, so there are still family who came from Solo that stays in my house it would be hard to concentrate there.
I thought I knew what to write to finish my paper, but for some inexplicable reasons, after actually sitting in front of my laptop I just couldn’t figure how to write it. I spent hours and hours typing but nothing made sense so I kept erasing and rewriting and so on. It almost felt like a writer’s block, when no right, inspiring words would come out of my head. By the time of the deadline, I was far from finished. I instantly e-mailed my mentor about my situation right after missing the deadline and she told me immediately not to worry about it and submit it during the resit period, which relieved me but I still felt sad. In my mind, resit is for people who at least submitted a finished paper though with a failing grade. But I couldn’t even submit a finished paper. I felt like I was such a failed scholarship student, who couldn’t even finish her paper. I was beating myself up with my depressing thoughts.
Thoroughly disappointed with myself, sadness kicked in. Although I was in a café full of people, I couldn’t hold back my tears. I cried so hard, I was literally shaking with sadness. Good thing it happened in the evening, right around the time for Maghrib prayer so I calmed myself down a little bit through wudhu and prayer. My tears had receded by the time my parents came to pick me up.
Hearing me crying through the phone when I called them and seeing traces of tears in my face when they picked me up, my parents were worried. I told them my situation but they didn’t get mad at me because they believe that my mental health is more important than my grade. But they were still concerned about my mental state, so they asked me if I still want to be the speaker for a group LINE chat about studying abroad I said yes.
The story behind this group chat is quite complicated. Long story short, my sisters’ wedding was not handled by professional wedding organizer but by a group of people who are members of the Muslim students association at a college where my father lectures at. After the wedding ended, one of them contacted me, asking me to be the give a LINE Chat talk about studying abroad: my experiences, tips and tricks, etc. At that time I quickly agreed to it, but with the condition that the talk should be after my final paper deadline. Never did I think I wouldn’t be able to finish my paper. But the promise had been made, and I did not want to break it. Moreover, I was sad for thinking that I was not a good student, but I did not want my sadness to drag me down. I also did not want to let my Muslim brothers and sisters (to think of it, I don’t know which group was it, but I knew they were Muslims), who expected to learn from me, down as well. I wanted to help them, while helping myself in the process.
It turned out that doing the talk was one of the best decisions I’ve made in my whole life. By motivating them, I rediscovered my motivation for studying abroad, despite how tough it is. Giving inspirational talk to my fellow Muslims, inspired the Islam in me, the Islam in my motivation and goals for studying abroad. Through their admiration and gratitude, I gained my confidence back, thinking that perhaps I’m not a completely terrible, stupidest student, but just caught up in writer’s block due to circumstances. To let me have the talk just two hours after I was feeling completely down made me think, “Allah’s plan is truly amazing”.
The good thing was the talk on that day was held online through LINE chat, so they couldn’t see my beaten up state ha ha. Anyways, after the LINE chat I was also offered to actually come to the college where my dad lectures at to talk about studying abroad in front of the Muslim students association. They were a great help to my sister’s wedding, and some of them were very nice to me in the LINE chat, so I instantly agreed to it. Beside the fact that it gave my mind a rest from my depressing thoughts, it actually was very heart-warming. They were very welcoming, although they did not know me at all, they treated me like I was a part of their family, like they were truly my sisters and brothers. And to me, they felt like my pious family, the ones that drives me to become a better Muslim. I can’t put it in words well, but by meeting them and feeling connected to them, I finally realized that there is a love that sparks because of Allah. It was not only that I overcame my sadness through my own prayer, but through other ways that Allah bless, which is through my newly found Muslim family.
Picture credit: KMI Itenas LINE account










