I’d like to tell a little story because my brain is filled with heavy but relieved thoughts and emotions and I don’t need a Facebook memory to remind me of the choice I made a year ago today. I was so trapped in myself, in a lie, in fear and self doubt. I spent 3 years convincing myself to work through it, it’ll get better, something will change, someone will change, if only this was true. So I left and one year has gone by. Removing myself and starting completely over, recreating myself, finding myself, loosing myself? March 27th 2017 z morning I packed everything I owned in a moving truck and decided to leave everything I had known in my adult life, the only person I really knew and who knew me, and I had no idea where I was going next other than my car and the beach, little did I know for close to 3 months I’d be living out of it then ending up in Oregon..?!? Completely unexpected. I guess that’s the wild part to me. Who would have known making this one choice would have created this whole new life for me? All these lives and people and adventures I’ve seen/been on in only a year?! And I thought 3 years was long. Leaving is hard then leaving your family and friends for your safety and sanity 3 months later is honestly even harder but LOOK AT ME. Look at who I am!! Look at who I can be!! The world is so big and I am so small. I could have never dreamed of my life happening like this but I am so thankful to myself for making that one choice, being so afraid but being okay with the fear. Because it passed. Life moves on. It keeps moving. Sometimes I think about sharing a lot more about the things I’ve been through I just don’t know how or why so I don’t but this is something to remember this day right here. It’s something I’ll remember for a long time and I hope not for the painful parts but for my strength and the realization that time means nothing unless you are truly happy. I am so use to my anonymity and brick walls I forget that real life is happening and people are here now. Today I am very sad but I am also happy. I lost a lot but I have gained so much. I miss my family and friends but I also missed myself. Here I am. (at Portland, Oregon)
