;P

wierd shit

[wearethewitches]

reblog if ur a cryptid gen z-millennial like me (born between 1994-2003)

[pandaaamonium14]

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[psychology-studyofthesoul-blog]

[anxietyproblem]

This Blog is Dedicated to anyone suffering from Anxiety and know why it sucks big time! Follow us if you can relate @anxietyproblem

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[smo-othie-deactivated20211104]

Wow why did this just tell me about myself

[alyssalikesspiderman7-deactivat]

why r u exposing me to myself i was not ready

[notcrazylimitededition]

The reality in this post is nearly offensive.

[unwisealistair]

[taylorschuyler13-deactivated202]

STOP IM BEING EXPOSED

[just-shower-thoughts]

Women have a hard time deciding what to eat because the first time Eve did, she doomed humanity.

[michellepsychologist]

Depression

[ahokassan]

some-

BODY ONCE TOLD ME

[rubyetc]

I found these gifs I made a while back for a site that’s not running anymore, so I thought I’d post them here. It’s a description of psychiatric symptoms and states of mind using a pink box and some other stuff. 

[apriljanee5]

These are so accurate

[psych2go]

Interesting! Just thought I’d share! 

[little-lonley-devil-blog]

[wisekelp]

Repost this anywhere

[lovingandlucking-deactivated201]

I just hit reblog so fast I almost dropped my phone

[michellepsychologist]

Please stay

[anxietyproblem]

[tiralatele]

Geniales dibujos de Pokemon by ItsBirdy

[matvrity]

THESE R SO FUCKING CUTE OMGGGG

[therealjacksepticeye]

These are friggin adorable!!!

[mememaster]

Elmo takes yet another victim

[thoodleoo]

decode your teen’s texts

lol: lots of lesbians

brb: beautiful radiant bisexuals

pov: plenty of violets

omg: oh my girls

ttyl: totally terrific young lesbians

ftw: for the women

asap: as sapphic as possilbe

[little-lonley-devil-blog]

[little-lonley-devil-blog]

Oh, you play football? That’s cute. I’m a dancer. I don’t bust a move, I bust my ass off to be the best. Skipping beach days to take summer intensives?   Happens all of the time. And do you know what the football team is doing while we’re sweating to death? Sleeping. So next time anyone says that dance isn’t a sport, or that it’s easy, tell them to touch their head to their butt, backwards, or spin on one foot on their toes, with their other foot to their knee. Dance doesn’t require a bat, a ball, or a field, all you need is a little bit of yourself. But people don’t consider it a sport, do they?