Fatsexuality

32 y/o, m, 5'4 this is my gainer blog SW: 120 lbs GW: 180 lbs Here to be humiliated. My journey to obesity. Explicit material - minors DNF, DNI

[littlebearbigchub]

I went to the grocery store dressed like this after the gym and an old man made a comment about my, "Huge belly." I wonder why??

This is the first time I've been called fat in public and I'm low key shaking. The worst part might be that I was shopping for high fiber foods because of how my bloodwork's looking. My doctor wants me to repeat in a month. I admitted to him that I'm up 20 lbs so far this year. I made no mention of an intention to stop.

This is getting so real. This is happening, consequences be damned: I'm getting fat.

[littlebearbigchub]

This is the before and after from February. gd. What am I doing to myself? No wonder I can literally feel my ass and thighs getting bigger.

[littlebearbigchub]

I went to the grocery store dressed like this after the gym and an old man made a comment about my, "Huge belly." I wonder why??

This is the first time I've been called fat in public and I'm low key shaking. The worst part might be that I was shopping for high fiber foods because of how my bloodwork's looking. My doctor wants me to repeat in a month. I admitted to him that I'm up 20 lbs so far this year. I made no mention of an intention to stop.

This is getting so real. This is happening, consequences be damned: I'm getting fat.

[littlebearbigchub]

Wowzers, feeling BIG back above 150 lbs 🥵

Seeing new bigger numbers on the scale for the first time again 😳

This is so crazy what I’m doing. The sane thing to do would to admit to a professional that I purposefully gained 20 lbs in 5 months and I want to keep going but know that I shouldn’t: let them help me work through the trauma imparted by my mother’s eating disorder that I must rebel against, making me so dramatically split on my natural curiosity towards and horror at extreme obesity that the way I coped was sexualization. An adaptive strategy for a time, but ultimately limited by the “reality” of health.

Except that won’t do anything. Because I don’t care about any of that: I’m just in love with fat in the most ridiculously autistic way possible. I love how it feels to inhabit my body as I transform into an obese man. I love touching and playing with other fat bodies and making people gain weight. I love doing nothing but eating and sleeping and going to the gym with my belly bouncing in tight shirts. And I’m not going to even try to stop until I’ve packed on another 10 lbs AT LEAST.

[littlebearbigchub]

These emails from my health insurance company offering weight management benefits had my health and humiliation kink whirring while I shoved pizza into my mouth for dinner.

I’m so ready for more weight. More fat. I want it all the time now.

I need to eat a gd vegetable. 🥕

[littlebearbigchub]

I’m nearly back at my all time high weight and continuing to delude myself that all this extra fat isn’t impacting my looks because some of the weight has been muscle 😌

I just saw a post on another platform by an actual muscle jock who posted his bulk since the beginning of the year and my god 🤣 I’m such a clown.

Like, it really doesn’t matter how much free time I have to lift or how much access to healthy protein rich foods or gear: I can’t muster the discipline or will to quit constantly stroking my dick talking to myself about what a fatass I am turning into. I’m addicted to food and fat and that’s exactly how I want it because I’m a fucking fatsexual.

I can’t wait to be over 150 lbs. I fully tried to slow down and only gain 2 lbs this month but… um. Yeah. I. ✨failed✨

[littlebearbigchub]

It’s just a little bulking belly, right? 😅 I’ve put on nearly 12 pounds since the beginning of the year and I’m exhausted. I’m sure it has nothing to do with being overweight again. 😌 I mean, you guys would all keep going right?

[littlebearbigchub]

Me to me:

I’m totally gonna be able to stop at 180 lbs tho 😌 there’s no way that loosening my diet enough to get so many calories or constantly jerking off over my increasing size will inevitably spiral out of control. It’s not as if my fantasies aren’t full of much more extreme weights.

[littlebearbigchub]

Something, something: this has two pounds of fat worth of calories and it’s only taken 2.5 weeks to make this dent.

[littlebearbigchub]

Back on my bullshit.

This was so fun. Pretending not to notice - or not care 🤥 Telling myself that anyone who laughed in my vicinity was reacting to me.

This was not my local PF - I was really testing some boundaries wearing this 🥴 I started by stretching and immediately half my gut was exposed as I lifted my arms. Obviously basically the same with half my lifts 😮‍💨 I swear I adjusted it every time I was done with my movement… promptly.

Crazy to think compared to the old me: in public I used to sit so awkwardly upright or grab a pillow to place in my lap just to hide that my belly made rolls when I sat down.

What must people have thought of me? Would this have been enough to make you look twice?

[littlebearbigchub]

Damn you are hot as hell man 😍😍

Damn, it’s the fat fr fr 😩 (this is a photo from summer 2024) - but thank you ;)

[littlebearbigchub]

hey hows it going. still struggling to take control or just letting yourself go? show us

Honestly I’ve dropped down to ~135 lbs, but it’s only because I got so lazy keeping up at the gym and with protein. I think everything I lost was visceral fat and muscle. In 2025 my focus was really away from my body and my sense of self has suffered even though I’ve grown so much in other ways. I’m really looking forward to obsessing over my fat more in 2026!

[littlebearbigchub]

Feeling positive about getting fat:

Just thought I’d get on the internet and admit that I am getting fatter on purpose again.

I hoped I could mental gymnastics my way out of gaining further for a while, but flirting closer to abject obesity is just too much fun.

Feel free to laugh at me for completely failing to lose weight after a major excuse for my roundness was removed several months ago.

Feel free to cackle that the improvement in my life due to this change has only made me more comfortable and confident with the idea of growing.

[littlebearbigchub]

Seriously these calculations can inform me that I’m obese a thousand times and I’m still gonna run the numbers again, just to check.

[littlebearbigchub]

These pants definitely aren’t too small and my shirt is definitely big enough to hide my belly and love handles 😌

[littlebearbigchub]

I like to think I’m successfully riding that line between beefy/chubby and doughy/fat as we head into the holiday season but somehow I doubt I’m succeeding? 🤔

Idk. I went and bought bigger sweat pants (M) today, which is a concession I guess because 2 years ago smalls were big on me. I’ve only crept back up to 144 or so but my thighs are rubbing again so I know the regains aren’t all muscle even though I’ve made some strength gains. What do you think?

[littlebearbigchub]

Fat boy fall 🍁🍂🫃

Recently I’ve had some renewed delusion that I can still trim this waist down because I managed to get to about 140 lbs at the beginning of the month (work stress). I think I’ve put a few back on in relationship weight though because I can feel my thighs rubbing again. I keep trying to tell myself that I’m still smaller than my heaviest but seeing pictures like this… yeah, maybe not so much. My new boyfriend keeps telling me that he likes my muscles but they’d really pop more if I was more careful with my diet. It’s a blow to my ego but at least it’s good motivation.

[littlebearbigchub]

Update August 2024:

Today I did 5 pull ups in a row. This is the most consecutive that I’ve done in probably a year.

I also got on the scale dehydrated and post poop this morning and weighed 144.4 lbs.

These are not coincidental events. In my past few years of gaining I have been humiliated repeatedly by getting too fat to lift myself and being unable to gain the strength to compensate.

The worst part is that I haven’t even been trying to cut. About 6 weeks ago I was just happened to be talking to a personal trainer in a civilian context and he explained to me how I’ve been consuming protein crucially inefficiently for a bulk.

I feel so fucking stupid. For YEARS, I’ve been eating meals that were protein bombs thinking I could get through my macros to pig out how I wanted the rest of the day. One simple change and I reconstitute >4 lbs in a month.

If anything I think I’m eating more but the fat around my organs has definitely decreased which is extremely reliving since visceral fat is so dangerous.

Even last year I would probably have embraced this weight loss as relieving but after several years of gaining I’m no longer willing to give up the (subcutaneous) fat I’ve accumulated. Every pound is so erotic and I’m finally feeling ready to incorporate my weight and fetish into my romantic relationships.

For now I’m just trying to make a point to eat extra treats and such but I’m hopeful that despite some weight loss this change will eventually enable me to gain the strength necessary to lift myself through my upcoming weight goals.

I’m so satisfied with what this process of fattening has done to my body. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to humiliate myself with my fat everyday for the rest of my life.