MOODBOARD ~ STEFAN NOTT
“ Heaven if you sent us down, So we could build a playground, For the sinners to play as saints, You’d be so proud of what we’ve made. ”

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@littlecaesar
MOODBOARD ~ STEFAN NOTT
“ Heaven if you sent us down, So we could build a playground, For the sinners to play as saints, You’d be so proud of what we’ve made. ”
4.04 | 4.05 | 4.08
As a student of history the inconsistencies between testimonies of great historic moments had always frustrated Tria - how could it be that you didn't remember the minutiae of a moment history would record and dissect over and over forever? Now she knew the answer. That moments of history crept up on you and you never knew you were living through them until it was too late.
When she had left her dorm that morning she had never imagined how the day would end. Had not foreseen the lecture on the nuances of Anne Boleyn's involvement in the Reformation being interrupted by a tearful member of staff asking her to take a call in her office. She hadn't imagined that she would hear the news of the assassination and run outside into a world of heavy silence. No cars, buses or traffic of any kind nor any planes above.. only crying, shell shocked people.
She definitely hadn't imagined she'd be volunteering to go back to Rome in the helicopter she'd avoided her whole life just to be home faster than a six hour drive. The ride had passed by torturously slow but her brain was whizzing too fast to process any of the million things going around and around her head.
The day Tria had always dreaded had arrived far sooner and bloodier than she'd ever imagined it would. Due to the age of the King she had always known it would be sooner rather than later but she had never thought it'd end like this: him brutally slain and Caesarion suddenly King. If she hadn't been so scared of the helicopter falling from the sky it might've occurred to her then that life as she knew it, had hoped it'd be for a while longer, was over and there was no going back.
Having survived the flight, her dad met her on the lawn. As they'd proceeded into the palace the eery silence of the staff quarters gave way to the pounding, invasive demand for the King. She'd peered in disbelief out the curtain to see them for herself and then they'd changed their chant, calling her name with the same urgency they'd insisted on his presence with. The demands followed her up the staircase but she never thought to answer them - it had never been her place to stand on that balcony and it never would be. Cinderella only got her Prince in the movies and besides, no-one ever mentioned a King. No fairy-tale like that existed nor ever could. Kings were heads of state, the face on the money, not romantic figures.
With the fear of the flight no longer able to distract her, each step up the grand staircase taking her closer to the new King: Tria found herself having to accept that just as a reign had ended and a new one had begun, so had a chapter in her life ended and a new one was being written with each step. Though she had hoped for many more years with Caesarion fate had made its decision: their paths were to part irretrievably but she promised herself she would see him to his coronation and then quietly slip away back to her world of books while he became what he was always meant to be - the best King Italy ever had. ( Though heaven help him with the society mamas! )
It had taken her a minute, perhaps two, to pluck up the courage to knock on the door - which seemed stupid really, yes he was King now but up until a few hours ago he'd just been her best friend and still, she hoped, for now, was. The knot in her stomach tightened as she slipped in, her amusement at his mistaking her for her dad falling away as she took in his blanched knuckles, the blood that remained caked to his clothes and his reaction to her being one of complete relief. Her knee jerk reaction was to make a joke of it, as they always had - to tease him but she couldn't find the words.
She should have curtsied, she knew that: was she not a student of history? Yet she couldn't make herself do that either. Instead, Tria closed the gap between them and without a care for the mess he was in or the mess it would make of her, she put her arms around him and hugged him tightly to her. "Thank God for good helicopter pilots," she managed a half tease, squeezing him gently. "you're the only person I'd fly for." She wanted to cry herself: cry for everything that was lost that they could never get back but refused to allow herself. Instead she spoke quietly, holding him to her. "I'm so sorry."
Even in the relative peace of the office the hum of the crowd penetrated the walls; to them she wanted to scream don't you understand he's just lost his father you ghouls? But she couldn't do that either. There was so much she couldn't do that that alone might make her scream. But what she could do was take care of him. Tria lifted her head from his chest, still keeping her hold of him, but tipped her head back so she could see him properly; her voice and the crease between her brows betrayed her concern. "Have you eaten? You should, I could get you something and... you need a bath. Get you out of these clothes and.." frustration filtered in at that incessant, pounding, demanding noise from outside. "would you hate me if I went outside and yelled at everyone to shut up and go home?" She offered him a half smile with the ghost of playfulness. "I will, just say the word."
The world was upside down at the moment; the country was up in arms demanding him, his father was in a morgue somewhere with bullet holes in his chest, his mother was delirious with grief. He was sure one half of his family was plotting and scheming already, and the other packing their bags and hauling ass onto their private jets to be there. Right now though, right now he mentally doubled the thanks he knew he owed to Emyrs, and wondered if you could knight someone twice.
"You flew? For me?" he managed to get out when she came forward and hugged him, his own arms immediately grabbing tightly hold of her, "Thank you". For a second he almost forgot he was still likely rather crusty with blood, and looked like a disheveled mess. He'd never been so glad, so relieved, to see someone in his life.
For a few minutes he didn't even know what to say, and just kept holding on to her. It was like all the noise disappeared just for a moment, though he was rapidly approaching the end of his rope. Maybe she was keeping him upright at the moment, because all he really wanted to do was fall back onto the floor. "I...I almost died Tria. Without your dad I might have. I was just standing there like an idiot and he pointed it at me next." The words exploded out of him all in a rush as though the damn had finally broken.
"Then Brutus was tackled and my father was on the floor bleeding. So much blood...and I couldn't even stay. Emrys, he hauled me up and I couldn't even be there anymore. Christ I know we didn't get along but he was my father and he was dying. And hardly anyone seems to get that!". He cast a venomous glance at the window then, the noise of the crowd muffled by the walls but still easy enough to hear.
He didn't say anything at first when Tria asked about him having eaten and needing to change, the small breakfast and suit he'd thrown on seemed like part of a separate life now. "I had breakfast," he muttered, "Probably wouldn't keep much down. And my clothes...". Caesarion stared down between them at himself and his still stained clothing, bloody visions in his head again.
"They're not going to go....they want me. They don't seem to care my father is dead, that I saw it, that I could have lead on my chest right now." He let her go then, sinking back down onto the floor and running his hands through his messed up curls in a distracted manner.
"I wouldn't hate you if you did that, I don't think I could regardless," he muttered, "But don't. I'll...I'll have to go out eventually but I'm not subjecting you to anything else today."
BRIDGERTON (2020-) BENEDICT AND SOPHIE
4.05 Yes or No
MY LADY JANE | EPISODE 7
Jane Grey X Guildford Dudley
BRIDGERTON | 4.05
pissing each other off as foreplay
Blood.
When he would look back on it later in a more stable mindset, or at least as stable as he could be about it, Caesarion would remember blood.
They'd just stood for the anthem, his father unable to avoid taking him to Parliament with him now that he was of age. He vaguely remembered the elder Caesar muttering something about staying quiet and not showing him up or embarrassing him, when suddenly Brutus was there, a gun in his hand and within seconds the world was changed. A few shots in rapid succession and his father crumpled to his feet as Caesarion was sprayed in a shower of his blood.
Not even a second afterwards Brutus had turned to look at him and for a heart stopping moment Caesarion thought he was going to be next. Caesarion's eyes were trained to the old man on the ground, gasping for air as he clutched at his chest. In another few second he could hear so much shouting, someone calling his name and a presence shielding him from what was about to happen. At the same time his father's security had tackled Brutus, a bullet ricocheting somewhere in the chamber. Caesarion dropped to his own knees in shock, but the truth was there. His father was already dying, there was nothing that could be done to save him.
Looking up he realized it was Emrys who had shielded him and was now pulling him to his feet. He'd protested initially; he and his father had never gotten along but he was dying for God's sake and he couldn't just leave him there. The man had insisted though, told him they had to get him out of there. They had to get him home and had to do it now.
He was herded through the crowd of people at lightning speed after being yanked to his feet, he caught a last glimpse of his father on the marble floor in a rapidly spreading pool of blood before he was rushed out a side door.
The ride back home was an absolute blur. He managed to keep it together as well as he could. Emrys seemed at a loss for what to say too, and Caesarion impressed himself with the fact that he didn't break. Didn't until he'd once again been hustled out of the car, through the veritable wall of the army that surrounded the palace by the time he got there. Inside the foyer his utterly distraught mother was being half held up by Charmian and Iras, and he broke down when she launched herself at him. "He's dead now isn't he mama," he said, seeing her faint nod as they both sunk to the floor, "Brutus, it was that bastard Brutus and now...now he's dead."
Caesarion would be eternally and forever grateful for Emrys for everything he'd done that day, managing to keep the worst of the wolves at bay. Olympos had been summoned at some point to check on him and his mother, eventually he'd left her in the physicians hands to tend to while he attended to what was necessary. Which seemed to amount to a great deal of cussing loudly at people, telling officials to fuck off, keeping reporters and various political people from breaking the gates down and dragging him out to immediately declare him King.
At some point, just after he'd signed orders to make SURE his family stayed safe and protected, Emrys had told him that his father's body had been taken to a secure location by the undertakers; they'd be able to see him tomorrow. He'd nodded, asking to be left alone and not disturbed unless it couldn't possibly wait. Naturally he trusted the man to know the difference and hoped against hope he could at least remain undisturbed a little while.
The crowds had started gathering outside the gates almost immediately after Caesarion had arrived, the noise pounding in his head as he'd sat in a study that had been his father's that morning but that evening was now his. He'd tried to write something, anything to put out a statement but words wouldn't come. He'd shoved the desk chair aside and slumped to the floor against the wall, his father's portrait looming over him. He couldn't even shut his eyes because there was that blood again, the same blood still staining the clothes that he wore.
He didn't know how long it was after, the noise outside hadn't ceased and he was still slumped against the wall, when a knock sounded on his door. He was startled out of his near trance and scrambled to his feet and the desk; hands gripping it so hard his knuckles turned white. "Emrys, is everything all..." he called, every bit of control he had focused on keeping his voice calm and still, but he stopped when the door creaked open and shut behind someone he had not expected to see at all.
"De...Demetria, you're here," he managed to get out, shock colouring his tone and he was horribly close to feeling like he might burst into tears again, "Oh thank God."
benophie + rolling them hips
SOPHIE BAEK and BENEDICT BRIDGERTON
↳ BRIDGERTON - Season 4 . Episode 5
I moan when I give head by the way