It is true that people in fandom equate top bottom with dom sub and probably mean the latter when they "headcanon" the former but I also think people need to be more open to the idea that D/s doesn't necessarily get indicated from personality either. Like for example a shy person who gets pushed around easily very well might enjoy having a dominant role with a partner they trust. That can even be affirming. Like BECAUSE of this issue you have in your real life to feel like someone will submit to YOU and defer to YOU is special for example. I think the idea that you just play the role that suits your personality in real life is part of why these same people seem to genuinely think being a Dom is like, kind of bad and scary
#finally someone said it#also seconding another's tags where they say fanfic mostly focuses on the sub's perspective#they're seen as more relatable bc of their (potential) indecision and vulnerability#so doms become the opposite of that in fic as like. wish fulfillment or smth. a grounding presence at the very least#kinda dehumanized in a way#idk where i'm going with this. just hate how ppl find dominant partners scary and bad whereas submissive ones are like. normal#and ofc this doesn't even factor switches. us i mean them getting ignored once again#(not critiquing you op just myself)
